Chapter 36: The Sweetest Oblivion: Chapter 36

“There is no great genius without some touch of madness.”

—Aristotle I WASN’T SURE HOW I knew, but I did.

An intuition played in the back of my mind, sending a wave of uncertainty through me. The inkling itched, demanding to be made fact, and before I could stop myself I grabbed my phone from the coffee table and sent Tony a text.

Me:

He responded a minute later.

Tony:

Since he knew it was me, I assumed Nico must have passed my new number on to him. I didn’t know what to think about them being all buddy-buddy now. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure I liked it.

Me:

Tony:

Time to bait the hook . . .

Me:

My phone rang in my hand, and I answered it with a simple “Hello.”

“What the fuck’s the matter with you?” Tony’s voice seeped with annoyance and concern. “Do you really think Papà would’ve agreed to the engagement if he knew Oscar was into that kind of shit?”

The word settled over my head with an unsurprising awareness, and I said, “Thank you, Tony. That’s all I needed to know,” before hanging up.

My phone chimed a second later.

Tony:

My response was juvenile, but impossible for any sibling to suppress.

Me:

My stomach dipped as a familiar magnetism walked into the office behind my back. Hypnotic and volatile, his presence brushed my skin, sinking into my pores like it owned me. However, it evoked something deep and uncertain as well, like being fascinated by the green sky of a coming storm but knowing that as soon as it hit you, there would be nothing left.

Oscar had . . . and then he was dead.

I wanted to dismiss the idea that Nico had done what I was beginning to think he did, or rather, he’d done it, because just the thought started a kindling in my chest that felt suspiciously like hope.

Without hope, there’s nothing to lose.

With it, we’re nothing but dominos waiting to fall.

Still, as his presence filled this office, that kindling fed on the warm bravado of it, and grew and grew.

“You get a good look at the club?”

My grip tightened on my phone as though it could ground me to earth. “Quite.” I turned around to see him leaning against the corner of his desk, a piercing gaze glued to me.

“I don’t think I’m a fan of finding you talking to some Escobar alone.”

By his tone that was a understatement.

“But I can talk to you?” I raised a brow, hinting at how he wasn’t a much different man in the regard to ethics.

“Not can.” His eyes darkened. “

.”

I wanted to ask him:

But the words caught in my throat. There was nothing playful in this office—there was gunpowder and flame. One wrong move and it would detonate.

I couldn’t breathe while the threat snuffed out any remaining oxygen. We only stared at each other, both recognizing the distinct longing hanging in the air like the Monet on the wall, but neither addressing it.

Nerves rattled in my veins with a cold whisper.

I wanted to be the best thing he’d ever had. To make him burn as much as he made me. I wanted him to want me with a raw ache. However, I didn’t believe I could ever compare to the more experienced women he’d been with. And I always was a bit of a perfectionist—if I couldn’t do it faultlessly, I hesitated to do it at all.

“Were you friends with Oscar?” The words fought to be heard in the tense atmosphere.

A grimace flared behind his eyes as he pushed off the desk. “No.”

“Did you work with him?”

He grabbed the car keys off his desk and rolled his shoulders, like even talking about Oscar agitated him. “No.”

“Not even—?”

“I didn’t fucking know the guy, Elena,” he snapped.

My brows knitted in a poor attempt to pretend I was taken aback. But really, warm honey filled my heart, creeping through my vessels and veins.

And now I knew it was me.

by Shaman’s Harvest filtered through the car speakers, fusing with the bottled-up tension rolling off me. If it were possible to put fucking the girl next to me out of my mind for one goddamn minute, this song about a slut named Diana would ruin it.

My self-restraint was pulled taut. I could hear the fibers snapping one by one until it hung by a thread, and my grip tightened on the steering wheel.

I deserved a fucking award for this.

Because nothing physical stopped me from letting go. From slipping my hand between her thighs and pushing two fingers inside her. From fucking her with them and letting her roll her hips against my palm until she came. I wanted it badly enough I could smell her, taste her. My mouth watered, a deep wave tightening in my stomach and burning a downward spiral.

With a flood of lust and anger, I shut the radio off.

Fuck Diana.

And fuck every asshole getting laid right now.

A heavy tension and the quiet rustle of fabric as Elena crossed her legs filled the car. The nervous gesture bared more of her tan, smooth thighs, and my heartbeat pulsed in my dick.

A grimace pulled on my lips and I wiped it away with a palm. I knew what was beneath that dress now. The mental image was burned into my fucking brain. Not only did she have the hottest little body I’d ever seen, it was those dark eyes, soft and innocent, that pierced a hole through my chest. She’d only sat on the island, as though she would let me do anything I wanted to her. Submissively. Dutifully. Fuck me She wiped her hands on her dress, pulling it back down, and a dark part of me got off on the idea that I was unsettling her. Tit for tat and all that.

I could make her do whatever I wanted.

I could take it all.

I even knew she would like it.

But something arcane and deeply rooted held me back. Something that gave me the urge to smoke every time I thought about it.

I had to know I wasn’t a substitute for some lost love. Had to know she wasn’t pretending I was someone else. Had to know it was what she wanted and not due to some kind of obedient trait or sense of duty.

When I found her talking to Sebastian Perez, for a split second I thought she’d let him in, that he was responsible for the ring on her finger. Acrimony had burned in my throat and tasted acidic in my mouth. She was mine. And I’d kill anyone who told me otherwise.

She was staying with me until the wedding because I couldn’t stand the thought that Salvatore might try to keep her from me. The idea made my chest ache with something foreign and hollow, and fuck if I was going to sit around for two weeks feeling it.

Nevertheless, I was glad I didn’t shoot Sebastian.

I liked the way he did business.

As soon as we pulled into the drive, I turned off the ignition and got out of the car. If I had to sit in there with her for another millisecond I’d crack.

She followed me to the back door, and I couldn’t help but to be aware of her every move. Her heel must have gotten stuck in a divot in the walkway, because she started tipping. I took a step back to reach out and steady her but was unprepared for her to fall into me.

I gritted my teeth at the impact. Her entire body pressed against my side, from her tits to her hips, and fuck, did it burn.

If I lasted the night, it would be a goddamn miracle.

The click of my heels echoed off the wooden floorboards, and my heartbeat replayed each reverberation against my breastbone.

It had only been days since I arrived here and stood in front of this door. The uncertainty I felt was the same, but something had shifted. The ache in my lower stomach had bloomed to fill every available space in my body. I could feel it—

—everywhere, and he wasn’t even touching me.

Nico typed something into the security system as I slipped off my heels. Stopping before the stairs, he glanced at me. His gaze was dark, shimmering, with an unfathomable depth.

“You good?”

“Good,” I breathed, though I felt close to bursting at the seams if he didn’t touch me.

He nodded once before he took the stairs one at a time and left me there, engaged and alone.

I stood there for a moment, with nothing but the sounds of a settling house for company.

Padding into the kitchen, I filled a glass of water and set it on the island, not taking a sip. I grasped the edge of the counter, closed my eyes, and let the pressure of what I needed from this man build until it felt like it was all I could breathe.

The stairs creaked beneath my bare feet, and I stopped at the top when I heard the shower running from his bathroom. Indecision ate at me, bit by bit, until I felt raw and naked. It would be so easy to let my dress hit the floor and slip into the shower with him. He wouldn’t turn me away, though that was never the reason for this waver inside of me.

So instead, I went into the hall bathroom. I turned the shower on hot and washed my hair with some other woman’s shampoo. And then I dried it with her hair dryer. In nothing but a towel, I paused in the hallway, the indecision strong enough it vibrated under my skin.

My bedroom door shut behind me and I leaned against it, stared at the ceiling and breathed. My heartbeat played a melody of fear, uncertainty, . I slipped into a t-shirt and shorts and stood in the middle of the room.

echoed in a deep timbre in my head. It was the last thought I had before I found myself in the hall, right outside his closed door.

Once I opened it, I could never go back. I knew it would change everything, but what I didn’t realize at the time was . . . everything already had.