Darcy spends the eight-hour plane ride to Italy quizzing Oz about the ins and outs of the World Championship.
âWhen does it start?â In five days.
âWhy are we going so early, then?â For Mallory to get used to the time zone.
âHow many games?â Twelve.
âHow many hours per game?â No limit.
âSo they can go to the following day?â Weâre in the computer eraâgames cannot be adjourned anymore, or players would just turn on an engine and evaluate their positions.
âWho wins?â Whoever wins the most games.
âWhat if they draw?â Thatâs why there are twelve games. âWhat if they draw the games?â They go to tie breaks, which are rounds of rapid chess, and . . .
Oz scowls. âThis flight has complimentary Wi-Fi. Canât you Bing it or something?â
âMom wonât get me a smartphone till Iâm fourteen.â
âMrs. Greenleaf,â he tells Mom, whoâs sitting with me and Defne in the center row, âI will be purchasing a cellular phone for your youngest gremlin.â
âOh, thereâs no need.â
âI insist,â he says, lowering his sleep mask.
âMom,â Sabrina whines, âif Darcy gets a present from Oz, I want one, too!â
âAs long as you shut the hell up.â He aggressively stuffs plugs into his ears, just in time to block out my sistersâ booming âYay!â
Next to me, Defne is frowning. âI have to say, the tie breaks do worry me a little. In the last month we worked ten hours a day, seven days a week, and still barely had time to train you for regular chess. We havenât practiced rapid and blitz at all.â She shrugs. âOh, well. Letâs just hope it wonât come to that.â The silver fig leaf earrings that I got her when she wouldnât let me apologize for being a dick dangle prettily from her ear.
, she told me before pulling me in for a hug, her lemon scent sour- sweet in my nostrils.
your I believe her. Because, as Oz so lovingly put it, I finally relaxed my sphincter enough to act like an emotionally mature person. Iâm vaguely befuddled that following a hefty amount of groveling, he actually agreed to be my second. And just as befuddled that he and Defne have a thing. I want to , but I donât want to .
, Sabrina told me knowingly. I could only nod, proud of her grasp of theoretical physics.
At the Marco Polo airport duty- free shop, while Iâm yawning and paying for an assortment of Kinder products Darcy selected, a girl in an sweater stops me for a picture.
I donât bat an eye. Itâs been a little over a month since I formally accepted FIDEâs invitation to be the challenger, and after a bunch of viral TikToks on my games, this has been happening a lot. In line at the grocery store. At the DMV, standing in line to get Sabrinaâs permit. While I attempt to jog, per Defneâs workout schedule.
According to Oz, I need a media team. According to Darcy, I should go on if they ever ask. According to me, I just smile and sign whatever Iâm askedâ a receipt; a carton of Arbyâs curly fries; on one memorable occasion, a dirty Nike sock. If my sisters are with me, they try to get in whatever selfie is happening. Everyone lets them because theyâre cute AF.
âDo you think youâre going to win?â
asks me, vowels gliding happily. I donât have the heart to tell her that I seriously doubt it. That Iâm scared shitless.
âWhoâs to say?â
âWell, I hope you do. I was first board on my middle school team. Had a Judith Polgar poster in my room. Never thought Iâd live to see a woman in the World Championship with how terrible the men in the sport can be. And by the way, I know you and Nolan Sawyer have a thing, and itâs gotta be a little sad to have to play against him, but donât go easy on him, okay?â
She leaves before I can think of an answer. The back of her sweater is an anthropomorphized Colosseum, winking at me.
âIs it?â Darcy asks.
I glance down at the piece of candy sheâs already eating, disturbingly shaped like a hippopotamus. âWhat?â
âSad? To play against Nolan?â
I take a deep breath. For a few beats, my heart turns heavier in my chest, twists and contorts into something painful that resembles regret. I wrench it back into shape and wrap my arm around her shoulders.
âCome on. We gotta go through customs. Letâs see if I screwed up our visas and we have to turn around.â
THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP LOGO IS BAFFLINGLY, INEXPLICAbly, alarmingly ugly.
We stare at itâ a stylized dudeâs limbs knotted with another, equally stylized dudeâs; a stripey, Picassoâed chessboard on their lapsâ and almost miss the all- caps on the sign.
âI . . . guess thatâs our ride?â I say.
âPretty sure thatâs position number thirty- five in the ,â Sabrina mutters, which degenerates into Mom having to explain what creative intercourse is to Darcy.
I think I imagined Italy would be warm, but the February chill is nearly as sharp here as back home. The salt wind is cold, my hair tangles on the shuttle boat, and I let Darcy snuggle under my plaid coat while we point at the beautiful houses facing the canal.
, I think. Iâve never been one to use the word, but the maze of calles and bridges spreading around the lagoon, the water lapping gently at the stone homes, it all seems so , so ready to be explored. âDo you think Mrs. Abebe is feeding Goliath on schedule?â she asks.
The sun is on its way out. We chose a late- landing flight to minimize the wreck on our sleep cycle, but it almost feels meant to be: Mom, my sisters, Venice at sunset. Me.
I knew they needed me. But I never quite understood how much I needed before this year. âI think Goliath would take her daughter hostage if she didnât,â I tell her. âBut I could text for updates, okay?â
The boat drops us off at a small dock in front of the hotel. The horrifying FIDE logo is everywhere, and Iâm debating covering Darcyâs eyes, Sabrinaâs, , sending an aggressively worded email, turning back and sailing away, but Iâm paralyzed by the grandiosity.
âIs this a castle?â Darcy asks.
âNo, itâs . . .â I blink. âMaybe?â
âWeâre not paying for this out of pocket, right?â Mom asks.
âFIDEâs on it. They shit money. Sorry, poopâ they money.â She hands her suitcase to a smiling porter with a stilted âGrazie,â and I wonder how many months of mortgage a stolen ashtray would fetch.
I expect to share a room with Darcy, but Sabrina takes her in with a firm âWe need you to rest and win and earn enough to sponsor my roller derby team.â
âThey will buy new uniforms,â Darcy adds. âAnd Iâll be their new mascot. In a guinea pig costume.â
âHmm.â My heart squeezes, like it always does when they assume that Iâll win.
, I want to scream.
But theyâre just trying to be supportive. âSounds like you two have been talking this through.â
âOh, we have for your money.â
The suite looks like something from the dry land half of , full of canopies, luscious rugs, antique furniture, and wall art thatâs older than my monkey ancestors. Itâs also empty, though, empty of something that I cannot pinpoint. I unpack three weeksâ worth of not- warm- enough clothes, set the chessboard to the Korchnoi versus Karpov, 1978 game I was studying on the plane, snap pics of the canal view through the arched windowâ then realize that every single person I might send it to is currently treated to the same sight.
I slide into bed, toss and turn for a handful of hours, admit to myself that Iâm too to fall asleep, slide out.
There is a large pool downstairs that the fancy brochure informs me is fully heated, and Iâm splashing in it less than five minutes later. The water is filtered from the ocean and smells like salt rather than chlorine. I let the complimentary Nashville Open T-shirt I tried to sleep in billow around me, and stargaze.
Remembering the last time I was in a pool would be rolling down a dangerous path, full of unbearable things I donât like to think about. So is the time before that: Easton and me, housesitting for one of her neighbors. It was the summer before senior year, and that pool was full of bugs and stuff that I refused to believe was squirrel turds. Easton kept repeating, âEw,â but I managed to persuade her to dip her feet. I spent one hour floating about while she read her SAT prep questions out loud in a fake French accent.
I havenât heard from her in two months. Before August, our record was two days. I oscillate between being angry, begrudgingly wishing the best to her and the girl sheâs Instagram-official with, and being taken aback when I find myself still on the verge of sending her a TikTok despite our lack of recent history.
Itâs risky business, focusing on the past. The future, the utter humiliation thatâs to come in four days, even riskier. The now is where I am: ice- cold stars, mellow water, and Korchnoiâs inexplicable rook to a1 drifting inside my head.
Itâs the deep of the night when I push out, shivering poolside in the cold air. All the hotel lights are off, except for a single window. I think I spot a tall silhouette through the curtains, but my eyes must be tricking me.
I blink once, and when I open them, thereâs nothing left to see.