Chapter 90: Chapter 35: Boink

> “I presented my token at the meeting today. Thanks to Rita’s recruitment efforts over the years, no one questioned her directive naming me as her Seat’s heir. And no one opposed me when I nominated myself to serve as the 7th Chair.”

Beatrice did a double take between me and Lucca several times, before reaching inside of her jacket where I imagined something awful was stashed.

“You’re a goddamn liar,” she said to me, her voice rising. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“I’m not,” I pleaded. “A liar. I didn’t tell anyone we were even in the city!”

“Your friend is innocent,” said Lucca. “At least of ratting you out. But you can’t expect to come onto this island with a Relic and not have me find about it. Alchemy that strong, it calls out like a whale singing to its pod. You just need to know what to listen for. And my druithyl network is specifically attuned for Relic-class items.”

“I should have known,” said Beatrice. “Guess I was lucky you didn’t track me down earlier.”

“Believe me, I thought about it!” said the Guild’s resident scientist, who placed a silver metal briefcase onto the table with a thud that made me jump. “I left you alone for a long time after you first brought whatever is in your jacket back to the city, but I couldn’t hold back any longer.”

“Great,” said Beatrice. “What do you want?”

“To see you work. To see what makes you tick. And to run some tests on your handiwork. I’ve found that the progress of alchemy can only move forward with us all working together.”

Beatrice looked at me to give her some sort of gauge as to Lucca’s sincerity, and I shrugged. In the short time I had known her, she seemed to be the least psychotic member of the Guild, but who knew what she was really like behind closed doors?

“I work alone,” said Beatrice. “You’re welcome to test one of my tablets, but considering my past history with the Guild, you’d have to believe me to be an idiot to think I’d trust you.”

“Of course! Trust is earned, not given. Let’s get started on that.”

Lucca unclasped the briefcase, and it unsealed with a hiss that gave off a cloud of purple steam. I peered inside and saw a series of glass beakers arranged from smallest to largest in one half and a series of pipettes filled with different colored liquids in the other half.

“What is all this?” asked Beatrice.

“It’s my mini-lab!” said Lucca. “I figured you would never agree to come to my actual one, so I brought a piece of it to you. These beakers are specially treated to detect particular prima materia and any impurities that could be present.”

“So you think my alchemy isn’t sound, is that it?”

“No, not at all!” said Lucca. “But from our two silent guests here, it looks like you are about to do something rather drastic. You can proceed if you want and we’ll do the test after, but might it be more prudent to do it in reverse? Just in case?”

“Doesn’t matter one bit to me,” said Beatrice, clearly annoyed with Lucca’s implication about her alchemic prowess. “Jen, they’re your friends. You decide.”

“If it’s all the same to you,” I said, and I suspected it wasn’t, “let’s do the test first. I won’t be able to forgive myself if we rush this.”

“Fine,” said Beatrice. “What do you need me to do?”

“First things first,” said Lucca. “There are a few too many people here. I know most New Yorkers live in their own little bubble, but even that has its limits. And we’re about to breach them. So if you don’t mind, let me just…”

She withdrew a small remote control with a red button from underneath her hat and pressed it, causing the fire alarm to immediately start blaring.

“I thought you were going to create some sort of illusion or something, like in the Guild library!” I shouted over the piercing siren.

“Why would I do that?” asked Lucca, who smiled as the half-dozen other customers and the barista scrambled to leave the shop. She followed them out, but returned 30 seconds later. “There. I told the girl running the counter to come back in an hour after I fixed the alarm.”

“And she believed you?” I said.

“I also gave her a fifty. Sometimes money trumps alchemy. Anyway, now that we have the place to ourselves, we can get started.”

Lucca pressed the button again on her remote, and the bleating stopped. Throughout the commotion, Lisa and Stacy had sat perfectly still, like two victims of the Medoblad. Or more like robots, waiting to be commanded. That thought pulled at the back of my mind, but I couldn’t quite identify why.

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“May I have a set of the tablets please?”

Beatrice nodded, placing four of them on the table, and Lucca began removing some of the beakers from the case along with three pipettes full of black liquid. She deposited the contents in equal distributions among the glassware before withdrawing a loupe from the outer brim of her beanie and inspecting each of the tablets.

“Why four?” she asked.

“They work in tandem,” said Beatrice. “One to metabolize any of the remaining memory loss serum left in the person’s body. One to open the path to the subconscious. One to drag the forgotten self back to the surface. And finally, one to heal all the damage.”

“That’s … that’s more robust than I was expecting,” said Lucca. “And from what I overheard earlier, you tested this on yourself?”

“Yes,” said Beatrice. “But as I told Jen, I fixed myself fairly quickly. It’s been several months already for these girls, unfortunately.”

“I see,” said Lucca. “Well then, all the more reason we get this party started.”

She picked up the tablets and dropped one into each beaker. They dissolved immediately, colored wisps of smoke pouring out of the tops like a homemade volcano. Except for the last one. That beaker shattered into two dozen pieces, covering the table.

“Huh,” said my Second Seat. “That was weird. You said you made the same tablet with a different method?”

Beatrice nodded silently, perhaps happy that neither of us had yelled out “told ya so,” and held out her palm to offer the second version. Lucca quickly prepared another beaker/pipette pairing and put the replacement tablet inside. This time, the beaker erupted into flames, and after a few seconds, only a puddle of translucent goo remained.

“That’s … not good,” said Lucca. “There is something off about these tablets. Which one was it?”

“The remembering one,” said Beatrice.

“Ah. Then it’s a good thing you didn’t actually have them eat it. They’d probably both be dead already,” said Lucca.

“I took three of these!” said Beatrice.

“Yes, well. That’s also curious. Are sure you’re still alive?” asked Lucca.

“You’re nuts,” said Beatrice. “I know what I’m doing. They would have been fine. I’m fine. Duncan is fine too.”

“There’s no need to be defensive,” said Lucca. “The truth passes no judgment.”

“So what do you suggest we do, then?” I asked. “Lisa and Stacy are scarcely functioning. It’s a miracle they even made it here today. Can we just give them three so they don’t get any worse?”

“Hmm,” said Lucca. “You two, what day is it?”

Lisa and Stacy slowly stirred to life, like a wind-up doll who had its key turned, and then both of them eked out a barely audible whisper.

“Today.”

“Yeah, no,” said Lucca. “Three of the four will turn them into empty shells with a bit more lucidity. Any new experiences will imprint strongly and prevent their old selves from resurfacing. It will be like trying to recover a backup onto a hard drive that’s been through a fresh install.”

“FUCK!” I yelled, startling everyone, even Lisa and Stacy, who looked around searching for the source of the disturbance but couldn’t find it.

“Jen, calm down,” said Beatrice. “Even though I’m not convinced that the tablet won’t work-”

“It won’t,” interjected Lucca.

“-I will put my pride aside for the moment and find a solution with your friend here.”

“You consider me a friend?” Lucca said to me, a puppy dog look in her eyes.

“I … what?” I stammered.

“I’m just kidding,” she said. “Also not sure I want to be your friend, considering what happened to your last two. And your boyfriend. You seem to go through people rather quickly. But I hope you can at least trust me. If you all will kindly accompany me to my lab, we can get to work.”

I signaled for Lisa and Stacy to follow us out of BSG, but they ignored me as if I was invisible. Beatrice stepped in and directed them instead, and we were soon on our way to Lucca’s loft, an unexpected fellowship of five.

“Do you trust her, Jen?” asked Beatrice, once we were out of earshot. “Because I swear if I end up a trophy in Dalia’s office, you’re the first person I’m coming for after I escape.”

“As of right now, yes,” I said. “But if my judgment is off, I’ll promise I’ll try to visit you once a week.”

* * *

It took a lot to impress Beatrice, but fortunately, Lucca’s lab was up to the challenge. After a bit of schoolgirl awe, the two alchemists got to work, deconstructing the faulty tablets and formulating a plan on how to fix them. As I sat next to Lisa and Stacy, I felt like a piece of aimless driftwood, being tossed around by forces more powerful than me. And maybe I deserved to be cast aside, while others fixed the problems caused by my search for easy solutions.

I waved my hands in front of the two women, but their reactions remained the same. It was hard to tell if they were even aware of their surroundings, or whether they were already completely devoid on the inside, just bodies without minds, like …

“What do you know about glamours?” I asked as I ran over to Lucca, the pieces of the puzzle finally snapping into their awful place. “I know their creation is banned, but if you wanted to, how would you do it?”

Lucca’s demeanor shifted in an instant, and instead of the buoyant, jovial woman I was used to, a different one surfaced, one who looked like she had also done the unspeakable acts that Beatrice had accomplished in the last few months.

“Why … why are you asking that question?”

“Ty already told me the true nature of a glamour, but like, I assume it’s not something that you willingly volunteer for,” I said.

“No it is not,” said Lucca. “At one point, there was a network of alchemists across Europe who would scour hospitals looking for braindead patients and then make off with the bodies. Those glamours … did not work out very well for their creators, and eventually the effort collapsed. And thankfully with it, the precise knowledge was lost for generations.”

“I don’t know if I agree with you,” I said.

“What do you mean?” asked Lucca.

“It’s just a hunch,” I said. “And I’m not sure you’re the person I need to be telling. But look at my friends. They’re almost like those braindead patients.”

“I’m not following,” said Lucca. “And I don’t like where this is headed.”

“Neither do I,” I said. “But what if there was someone else out there today who rediscovered the knowledge, and devised a means to create a new generation of glamours, one that could be sold to the highest bidders? Or maybe something far worse.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Beatrice, peering out from behind the maze of heated glassware.

“She was right there in front of us,” I said. “Eva, Polly’s glamour. I know who created her.”