Benladann POV
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My emotions are a turmoil. I don't know when I fell asleep, but it might have been a bit after something surged out from the ground.
Something⦠Big and made of metalâ¦
It was strange⦠But Drake said it was a "mech" or something.
And when that voice⦠within this mech said somethingâ¦
Something aboutâ¦
Ahâ¦
Unghâ¦
N-Now I rememberâ¦
My parents⦠are dead.
This reality hurts so much⦠I don't want to accept it. I don't really want to accept itâ¦
Please, make it stopâ¦
I don't want toâ¦
Noâ¦
Mama⦠papaâ¦
Why? Why did you have to die?
I should have never leftâ¦
Without you what will I do? Where will I go?
I miss them⦠I miss them so muchâ¦
Ahâ¦
It feels as if I am about to be torn apart by the pain I feel, it feels like I want to kill myself, this pain is so big it makes me want to go insaneâ¦
I don't want to live anymore⦠Without them I-
"Why are you getting like this now? After all that talk over that stupid dragon, now you're forgetting about him?"
Eh?
Dragon⦠Ah, Drakeâ¦
"Yeah, Drake. Did you forget about him? He beat me to a pulp."
No⦠I could never⦠forget about him⦠Iâ¦
But⦠Hahh⦠My mind⦠my heart⦠my everything⦠it hurts so badlyâ¦
"I know how you feel. I can feel all your emotions, sisterâ¦"
Do you feel all my emotions? Yet⦠you made me suffer so much before? Why? Why are you like this and why are you showing up now from all things? Only in my dreamsâ¦
What do you want now? To make me feel even worse?
"I wanted to protect you, so I was willing to bear the painâ¦"
Why do you care?
Why are you hereâ¦
"I never disappeared⦠I was always here. I will always be here. I am⦠a part of you, your sister, Mirandaâ¦"
Call me by my name! Call me by the name that my parents gave me!!!
"â¦Benladann."
â¦
You said itâ¦
"I didâ¦"
Sighâ¦
"L-Look, I don't want to make you feel worse. I was just noticing how you were forgetting about the stupid dragon, so I reminded you of him for youâ¦"
Yeah⦠I can see thatâ¦
I don't know why I forgot about himâ¦
Ah⦠It must be because of the pain⦠So much painâ¦
This is perhaps an even worst painâ¦
"Hm⦠Pain⦠I am already used to it⦠Are you?"
â¦Maybe.
I feel⦠so strange.
Is this when you simply live with the pain?
Ahâ¦
W-Waitâ¦
Within my fuzzy memories⦠Drake⦠he⦠he helped me put my parent's souls inside my weaponsâ¦
He did that⦠for meâ¦
Heâ¦
Ugh, I should stop being like this, I have to wake up, quicklyâ¦
I want to meet him⦠I want to thank him for this tooâ¦
Drakeâ¦
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Miranda POV
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She left⦠I guess I am here once moreâ¦
Time to⦠stare at the abyssal void.
Hahhâ¦
I also feel bad, Benladannâ¦
But I guess it is hard for you to relate to a monster like me, right? Yeah, it is rather obviousâ¦
I just⦠wanted to protect you back thenâ¦
Do you know? I was never taught a lot of stuff⦠I didn't know⦠that it hurt so muchâ¦
Maybe what I needed is something whose concept I didn't knowâ¦
But that thing is what the dragon taught me⦠As I saw through your eyes how he took care of youâ¦
I didn't understand at first why would he do this with a complete stranger.
But I⦠began to understand that he had something I lacked a lot.
Empathy.
Can I⦠develop empathy?
I think I am developing it slowly.
By just thinking about what I did⦠I can feel it within me⦠It hurts a lot.
Is this the horrible pain I made you go through, Benladann?
I can tellâ¦
Hahh⦠What have I done?
What am I anyway?
An alien? Benladann's soul? Her mind? A split personality?
What am I really?
Even after everything⦠I don't even understand it well.
I think that I might be her⦠butâ¦
I just told her the truth, that I cannot go away from herâ¦
But she repulses me, I suppose it is fair after all I did⦠I am not even worth her time.
Ah⦠But without her, what do I do? What am I even?
I have to do something⦠or simply⦠fall asleep for eternity?
Is this⦠what she wants?
Ahâ¦
Noâ¦
Don't leave me behindâ¦
I also want to be with you, Benladannâ¦
I also want to explore this world with youâ¦
I am sorry⦠I just didn't knowâ¦
I⦠There are no excuses, I guessâ¦
What can I do for her to know that I am sorry? I have to do something⦠Something that could help herâ¦
But what can I even do? I am⦠something that only causes harm.
Without her⦠I am merely nothing⦠I am⦠just⦠empty.
I walk into the endless void⦠And continue walking, endlessly.
Until one day, I feel tired, and I rest in the darkness.
It feels⦠cold.
Will I be alone forever�
What⦠do I do�
I should really just die⦠right?
That would make her happyâ¦
I just want her to be happyâ¦
After all of this⦠she must be in so much painâ¦
I wish I could die⦠So I can make everyone happy at lastâ¦
So I won't be there to annoy everyone⦠And so I can⦠not annoy her new life.
I am just an annoying⦠thing.
I wish I could die⦠To disappear forever⦠and to be swallowed by the void.
But as much as I wish⦠I cannot disappear. And even when I want to sleep, I can't sleep either.
Let me disappearâ¦
Let me dieâ¦
I don't want to exist anymoreâ¦
But why?!
Why can't I die?!
Let me go away from her life!
Why�
Why can't I?
What do I even do thenâ¦
Just let me disappearâ¦
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