The guys and Chloe were walking into Rocque Records as they were so excited "Bring on the merchandise." Logan told them as all the boys smiled and Chloe shook her head laughing "I hope we get our own special fragrance like Jay Z." James told them as Kendall put his arms around Carlos and James.
"I want to play the Big Time Rush video game."Â Kendall told them as Chloe rolled her eyes and Logan clapped "and I want to play with the BTR zombie attack squad action figures." Carlos told them running over as they all sat down "have a seat, Chloe, fellas, cause we're all excited to discover what BTR merchandise lies beneath the shiny cloth. Hit it marketers." Griffin told them.
"Boys, our crack staff has spent the last year researching, developing, parenting, and testing. The exact merchandise that will amaze our retail partners." The woman told them as the boys got all excited "are you ready..for the Big Time Rush products that'll be flying off the store shelves all over the world?" The man asked them.
"Bring it on." Carlos told him as Logan gave a thumbs up "so ready." He told them as Gustavo held his hands up "bring it." He told them as the women walked towards the cloth "I present to you the Big Time Rush..toilet scrubbers." The women told them taking off the first cloth as Chloe furrowed her brows and the guys didn't look to impressed either "Big Time Rush..horse shampoo." The man told them showing it to them as Logan's jaw dropped and Gustavo looked equally confused.
"And the Big Time Rush action set." The woman took the last cloth off and they all changed their faces "the dolls aren't horrible." Kendall told them as they all agreed "that say all you favorite Big Time catchphrases." She told them as she pressed Logan who said "let's get some hockey balls and play a hockey game." And it sounded nothing like him as Kendall turned his head and Chloe tried to keep in her laughter but then she pressed Kendall "I made boom boom better change me." The doll said as Kendall leaned forward wide eyed as Chloe and James shared a look as they all then turned to Griffin.
"I love it! And Chloe here's your new doll, with different songs and outfits girls all over the world can play with." Griffin told her as he slid it over and all the boys looked at it "what else do they say?" Griffin asked as they pressed the dolls .
"Ah, ah, ah ah, oh.."
The dolls sang as they guys all put their heads in their hands as Chloe looked at them as Griffin began to clap and stood up "excellent work you two. You're really thinking outside the box." Griffin told them "is there any way we can put them back inside the box?" James asked doing a hand motion as Logan did as well.
"Yeah, because when I think of Big Time Rush. I think of not horse shampoo!" Gustavo yelled as Logan pointed at him "these products are unique and different, which his exactly the kind of merchandise sam selmart loves." Griffin told them as they all looked confused "Same selmart? As in selmart stores?" Logan asked as the women clicked a button turning on the commercial.
"Howdy, friends. Sam Selmart from Selmart stores look here, this week you all can save on, home electronics, puppet gum and a springmatic turbo adjustable bed. Now let me tell you something folks, with a thousand settings, this thing will get you out of bed quicker than a rattlesnake in a sleeping bag. Selmart over 9,000 stores where you can shop for more for less for more." The man said as the commercial finally ended "that's the one." Griffin told them.
"Griffin, don't we thing that these products are, uh.." Carlos began as Logan took over "highly embarrassing?" He told him as Griffin turned his head "and I don't say, I made boom boom." Kendall told them as Griffin and the marketing team looked at him "you just did." They told him as Kendall raised his eyebrow "this is not about what you like. This is about what Same Selmart likes which is why are marketing team is going to pitch these items to him at 5:00 today." Griffin told them as Chloe cringed and James made a stop hand motion towards them "at his annual west coast product search."
"Keep the prototypes." The woman told them throwing the dolls to the boys as they caught them "play with the dolls. Wash a horse." The woman continue as Chloe looked at hers "I think you'll like these products as much as we do." The man told them as they all stood up at the same time as Griffin held his hands up "and I don't want to hear any complaining or yelling." He told them as they all stood there frozen.
Soon all of them were in the studio where the guys and Gustavo were with all the merchandise playing with it as Chloe and Kelly walked over "okay, Griffins gone." Kelly told them as they all finally walked out "Gustavo, if these end up on Selmarts shelves, we will be a laughingstock." James told him holding the toilet brushes.
"Yeah, I know." Gustavo told them as Kelly grabbed Chloes doll which she took out of the box and changed the outside from jeans and a t shirt to one of the dresses as she held it up "I hate being laughed at. Like that one time in the third grade when these kids pantsed me in the cafeteria." Logan told them as Chloe furrowed her brows "we said we were sorry." The guys told him as Chloe looked to them.
"And do these guys even look like a robot zombie attack squad?" Carlos asked as Kelly, Chloe and Gustavo looked at him as he pressed Kendall "Kendall's got to go potty." The doll said as Kendall's eyes went wide as he grabbed it "I do not say that!" Kendall yelled as Kelly pressed the Chloe doll "ha ha ha." The doll laughed like Chloe as they all looked to Kelly who held her hands up.
"I have to agree with the guys on this one. These products are total boom boom. Unlike the Chloe dolls they sell on the market." Kelly told them as she fixed the dolls hair "which is why.." Gustavo took the toilet brushes from James "we are taking over this pitch meeting and presenting our own Big Time merchandise." Gustavo told them throwing the brushes in the garbage.
"Right." Kendall told him still holding the doll "me, you, Chloe, Kelly and Carlos will stay here and record new cool catchphrases for our dolls that aren't." Kendall told them pressing the Carlos doll "yo, yo, let's get a hang down low on the snip snap." The doll said as they all looked confused as Logan shook his head.
"Yeah, James and I will head up our own research and development." Logan told them crossing his arms "and create a Big Time product that Sam Selmart and the whole world will want." James told them as the boys fist bumped "all right, guys, let's get a hand down low on the snip snap." Carlos told them as Chloe furrowed her brows "Stop it!" Kendall yelled.
Everyone had gone their own ways as Kendall and Carlos we're in the booth "dogs, I passed your dolls voice chips into the board so we can record new, cooler Big Time catchphrases. Okay, Carlos is up first. Action!" Gustavo told them as they sent him a thumbs up "the robot zombies are attacking!" Carlos said as Chloe, Kelly and Gustavo all looked confused "quick, target their reactor hearts! Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.." Carlos continued as Chloe hit Gustavo "do something." She told him as he looked back to the guys.
"Cut! What are you doing?" Gustavo asked as Chloes eyes were wide "I believe it's the Big Time Rush action set defeating the evil robot zombies." Carlos told them as they all looked confused once more "we don't say that." Kendall told him "well we would if we were being attacked by evil robot zombies." Carlos told them as Kelly pressed the Chloe doll "you're an idiot." It said as Carlos looked at it.
"Okay, Kendall, you're up next. Action!" Gustavo told him as he leaned towards the mic "I'm Kendall. Be cool, everybody." Kendall said as Kelly and Chloe looked to Gustavo "be cool? Hey, I'm Kendall. Be cool everybody." Carlos said making fun of him "it's a lot better than pew pew pew." Kendall told him as Kelly looked to Chloe "are you kidding me? Be cool is stupid!" Carlos told him as Chloe shook her head "oh, yeah? Well, you're stupid." Kendall told him as Gustavo looked to Chloe and Kelly as they kept calling each other stupid.
"Shut it! Shut it forever!" Gustavo yelled getting up as the guys kept fighting as he ran in there and Chloe and Kelly watched as there voices were muffled as Gustavo began fighting with them in which both girls decided to walk in there as well yelling at all of them as Gustavo then walked out "okay, let's try that again." Gustavo told them as both girls walked out all calm as he sat back down, Kendall and Carlos smiling.
They were now half way done "okay, two more super cool Big Time Rush catchphrases. And a go!" Gustavo told them as Kendall leaned towards the mic "got to live it Big Time!" Kendall said as Carlos then leaned over "helmets rule!" Carlos said "perfect! Okay, and now to drag the voice files onto the dolls voice chips. And we are ready for our Selmart pitch." Gustavo told them as Kelly and Chloe looked at him.
"Are you sure you did that right?" Chloe and Kelly asked as he held his hands up "I'm sure we don't have time to talk about it!" He yelled as Chloes and Kelly's eyes went wide as James and Logan walked in "but do you have time to experience." Logan began as they all looked at them "the one scent that is bold enough to be called...smellevate." James told them showing the perfume "uh no, cause we need to come up with a plan to get rid of Griffins marketing team so that we can take over that pitch meeting with Sam Selmart." Gustavo told them as Chloe and Kelly looked at the guys "on it!" They told them as they went down coming back up with tree hats.
"No tree hats!" Gustavo told them as Kendall looked to the guys "um, tree hats have solved a lost of problems." Kendall told him as James looked at them "and they're awesome." James told him as Logan pointed "yeah, do you have a better idea?" He asked as Chloe looked to Gustavo who wasn't saying words as Kelly picked up the phone and started calling as she handed it to Chloe who put on a country accent.
hello, Griffins marketing team?" Chloe began as all the boys looked at her shocked "yes, this is Selmart west coast headquarters. We're gonna need to cancel that merchandise meeting that you had today. Mr. Selmarts feeling ill." She finished as she then hung up as Kelly and Gustavo looked to the guys "nice!" They all said as Gustavo held his arms out "let's go!" He yelled as they all ran out.
They were all in suits as they arrived to the meeting with the merchandise products "who in the name of candied yams are you?" Sam asked as Kendall began "we are the Big Time marketing team of Kendall, James, Carlos, Logan, Gustavo, Kelly and Chloe." He told him as Chloe looked to him with furrowed brows "to many names. I'm gonna call y'all Clem. What you got, Clem?" He asked as Gustavo took over.
"Sir, I'm sure you'll agree, the items under this fancy, shiny.." Gustavo began as he got stopped "stop right there, Big Clem. You see them boxes behind you? They are empty. I want to fill them with merchandise, and get em to my stores and make me some money. Now, quiet ticking my side parts and pitch me." The man told them.
"Right. The first item you're going to see is a classic. The Big Time action set." Kendall told him revealing the dolls "which includes some of your favorite Big Time catchphrases." Carlos told him as he pressed Kendall "you're stupid." The doll said in Kendall's voice "you're stupid." Carlos's voice then came through.
"Them dolls just sass me?" Them man questioned as everyone shook there heads "uh, no, what the doll was supposed to say is.." Gustavo began as he pressed Carlos "shut it! Shut it forever!" The doll said in Gustavos voice as Chloe and Kelly looked to each other knocking the dolls off the table "and, now, here is James and Logan to show you the next product you are sure to love." Kelly told him as Chloe crossed her fingers.
"We would like you to be the first to experience BTRs new fragrance..." Logan told him revealing the perfume "a spicy, contemporary scent that says you want to live it Big Time. Smellevate." James said as he sprayed the man and he stared screaming as Chloes jaw dropped "oh my seeing eyes! I'm temporary blind! Oh it burns!" The man yelled "what did you put in there?" Chloe asked along with Kendall and Logan.
"Logan said to make it spicy." James told them as Chloe looked to Logan "I said to add spice, like cinnamon or nutmeg!" Logan told him as the man still yelled "it burns!" And Chloe looked back to James "So no to the habanero hot sauce?" James asked as Chloes eyes went wide "you put hot sauce in it!" She yelled as the man walked into his own sign and continued to fall over soon having to get taken to the hospital.
The next day Griffin was there and he put on the news "and in our big story today mega retailer Sam Selmart was injured in a merchandise meeting gone horribly awry. While being airlifted to the hospital, Selmart said, a blind salesman is like a donkey with a hangnail. You can lead him to the barn but he'll still call you Susan." The woman was going to continue as Griffin turned to off "Griffin, before you say anything...we can fix this." Kendall told him as the man had his arms crossed.
"Let me guess. It involves a crank phone call, breaking and entering, and tree hats." He told them as they guys all had tree hats on as Kelly, Chloe stood there wide eyed "we weren't actually gonna break anything." James told them as they all threw there supplies "tree hats don't work in the high stakes business world. What might work is the personal apology you're going to give Sam Selmart today." Griffin told them as they all looked sad as Carlos picked up the dolls even including Chloes who was changed into a different outfit.
"Yeah, guys, let's go apologize. We should go say sorry to Sam!" He spike in a high pitch voice through the dolls as Griffin looked at him "okay, yeah, maybe we should just stop talking because.." Carlos continued as Logan and Kendall took the dolls away "and after you apologize. I'll be there to personally pitch the products Sam was supposed to see yesterday at 5. The toilet brushes, the horse shampoo, and the dolls that do not tell Selmart to shut it shut it forever." Griffin told them as they all sighed.
"Griffin, if those people see these products, they'll laugh at us." Kendall told him "I hate when people laugh at me.. the one time at summer camp with those guys put a sign on my back that said fart on me." Logan told them as Chloe looked to the guys "really? Again!" Chloe told them as they sighed "we said we were sorry." They told him as Chloe shook her head.
"Now your going to say you're sorry to Sam Selmart. And pitch these products. What do your dolls have to say now?" Griffin asked as the boys picked them up as Chloe grabbed hers out of the equation "Let's go tell Sam we're sorry." Logan began in a high pitcher voice "whatever Griffins says." James talked next "yeah, great plan boss." Carlos said "away we go!" Kendall said as the boys moved there dolls across the table.
Chloe holding here's towards Kelly "I had no part of this." She said in her regular voice as Kelly grabbed at "neither did I." She told him as both girls walked away with the doll.
Soon they were back at Selmart apologizing to the Sam "howdy Arthur." He told Griffin "Sam." Griffin greeted as Sam looked at them "hey, boys, blind anyone lately?" The man asked as Griffin looked at them "we are so sorry." They all began to apologize "sorry doesn't trim the whiskers on the admirals beard does it?" The ma asked as they all looked confused.
"But I will forgive you if you pitch me some merchandise I can sell in my stores and make money with." The man told them "Sam, my research and development team at RCM/CBT Globalnet/ sanoyoid has some exciting Big Time merchandise. It's gonna fly off your shelves." Griffin told him as the man looked at them "well, I sure hope they're better products than that last Jackalope done tried to pitch me. Katy Perry horse shampoo and toilet scrubbers with one directions face on em. Why in the world would I want to scrub my John with Liam?" The man asked as Chloe nodded her head as Logan and Carlospushed those off the table.
"Which is why you're going to love the all new and improved Big Time action set." Griffin told him as he showed him the dolls again which the guy seemed impressed by as Griffin pressed the button "I made boom boom. Better change me." Kendall's doll said as they all nervously laughed "boom boom? That ain't the kind of action I want. I want Kung fu grip and superpower." The man told them as Chloe looked to Carlos.
"Oh, oh, oh, these dolls, they fight zombie robots." Carlos told him as Kendall agreed "yeah, yeah, and they go. Pew pew." Kendall told the man picking up his doll "pew pew. I like me some pew pew. What else they do?" The man asked as James and Logan looked at there's "they fly." James said as they all picked up their dolls moving them like their flying.
"I love me some flying. How do they fly." The man asked them as Griffin got excited was he ripped James doll out of his hand "oh, well, like this!" He told him throwing James as it hit a button on the mans bed as he then went flying forward out of it and over there heads into the boxes as they all cringed as Chloe and Kelly jaws dropped.
"Well, he said he loved flying." Carlos told them as he talked through his doll with his high pitched voice.
Soon they were back at the stupid and Griffin was in the booth losing it as they all looked at him "how long has he been in there?" Carlos asked "about an hour and 23 minutes." Kelly informed him as he looked at his watch "I think he's almost finished, though." Kelly added as Chloe tilted her head "not so sure about that." She told her.
"And we're finished. Because Selmart stopped selling Big Time Rush music in his stores." James told them as they all looked upset "which accounts for 50% of our album sales." Gustavo told them as Logan had to correct him "actually 72%." He told them as Gustavo made a weird sound as Chloe smacked Logan in the back of the head "you had to say that!" She yelled as he rubbed his head as Griffin walked out.
"It's over. I pitched horrible product ideas, launched the worlds richest ceo over our heads, and killed your music career in less than three minutes." Griffin told them as Chloe shook her head "Griffin, we can fix this." Kendall told him as Chloe furrowed her brows turning to him "how? We're band form Selmarts East coast headquarters. And blocked from all his phone lines." Griffin asked as the guys soon came up with a plan.
Soon all hiding behind a bush at Selmart "you sure this is gonna work?" Griffin asked as the rest of them popped up "probably not." They all said as they quickly walked away.
"Okay, so say we get into the building, then what?" Griffin asked as they all kneeled down again "we do what we do best. Sing." Kendall told him "we show off our voices." Carlos added "and not toilet scrubbers." James told him as Chloe laughed "he sees we're a great band and puts our music back on the shelves." Logan added.
"And we got back to the way it was." Gustavo whispered "and forget about this whole merchandise thing." Kelly told them as they all nodded there heads "I see two flaws with your plan." Griffin told them as the guys looked at them "what?" They asked as Chloe and Griffin pointed "them." The security then walked up as they all turned to them.
"Don't any of you guys move." The security told them as the guys looked at each other "we got this." They said as James and Logan jumped up "smellivate!" They yelled spraying the men as they all started running away and into the building "is this going well?" Griffin asked "it's about average." They all said as they ran running into Sam.
"Well, glad you're back, boys. Gives me a chance to test the best product I've seen so far, the XR4-17 pineapple cannon. These bad boys can knock a billy goat off a barn roof and fruit salad at the same time." The man told them laughing as the women got ready to press the button as they all leaned back "looks like your tree hats couldn't save us after all." Griffin told them as Sam looked intrigued.
"Whoa, whoa, rope it in there, junior. What in the name of all things moist and meaty s on your head?" The man asked as they all looked at him "Tree hats?" They told him "Tree hats. What are they." The man asked as Chloe looked to the guys "uh, they help you..with, uh, things." Carlos began.
"Stylish. Biodegradable. Keeps you cool in the summer warm in the winter. I love em! I'm gonna call em...tree hats!" The man told them as Chloes eyes were wide "wait let me get this straight. You want to buy these?" Logan asked shaking his head "I want 200,000 of em, son. I'm gonna put em in my boxes and sell em all over the world. Money! Ow." The man told them as Chloe raised her brows.
"But we thought you hated us." James and Chloe asked as Kendall looked to both of them with his brows furrowed "pretty Clems, let me tell you a story. A feller once stabbed me in the foot with a penknife darn near took off my whole big toe. You want to know what I don? I bought every knife that fella had and made me rich as Midas. What do you say, son? We got a deal?" The man asked.
"And you'll keep selling Big Time Arusha music?" Kendall asked as the man looked at them "does an aardvark fart in a park on Tuesday?" The man asked as Chloe furrowed her brows "I don't know what that means." They all told him as he sighed "yes I'll keep selling your music." The man told them as they all cheered throwing off there tree hats as Griffin went to shake the mans hand.
Soon they were all back in the studio "boys, we have to say we completely underestimated your merchandise and marketing genius." The women told them as they all smiled "the tree hats are making Sam Selmart.." the man began as both held there hands up "very happy."'they told them "they're making me lots of money including all those blonde wigs mixed with costumes and dolls for Chloe Heart." Griffin told them as Chloe nodded her head.
"In fact, Sam is so impressed with you guys, he's gonna he investing in some of your other products ideas." Gustavo told them as they all furrowed there brows "what other product ideas?" They asked as the woman turned in the commercial "howdy, friends, Sam Selmart here with this weeks speaicals, come on down to Selmart and get yourself a Big Time Tree hat for onto $24.99 and while you're here why don't you get yourself a Big Time Rush robot zombie action set! Pew pew! And they fly! And for you weekend Gardner's, ain't nothing keeps pests and bugs away like smellevate proven tested and effective on me. Selmart where you can shop for more for less for more."