Chapter 19: Chapter 19

ANDIE

“I don’t understand why I have to stay cooped up still, Eli. It’s been two weeks. They can’t find Tame or Daryl.

“I’ll still stay here with you. I just want to bake, please, and Rose and Bruce are coming here to live in the next couple of days. I want to help them settle in.”

Andie locked eyes with the man she’d lost herself to two years ago. His eyes were dark at the moment, but she didn’t back down.

She shivered as he strolled over to her slowly, those eyes a more russet tint. She knew he was upset and to tread carefully, or she wouldn’t sit comfortably for a bit.

“I want you safe, and being out isn’t going to be safe.”

“Eli, please. I need to do something,” she pleaded. She squealed when he pulled her up against him. Her feet were off the ground. He walked her back to the couch.

He laid her down on it and lay on top of her. “I could just tie you down and keep you entertained.”

Her stomach clenched at the thought. “No, Eli. I want to help Rose and Bruce and get the bakery painted.” She tightened her fingers on his fitted white T-shirt, trying to fight the ache that swarmed inside of her.

“All this doing nothing is catching up to me. I’m gaining so much weight.”

He cocked an eyebrow, and his hand began to roam all over her body. “Really? I can’t tell,” he whispered. He began to kiss along her neck.

“Please, Eli?” she pouted and made big puppy dog eyes when he looked at her.

He leaned back onto his knees. “Fine.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but”—he pointed his index finger at her—“the minute you get any bad feelings, you call the cops and me. Promise me because you know there will be consequences if you don’t.”

She sat up and threw her body into him, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly, making them teeter off the couch to the floor. She pressed her lips to his passionately. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah, as long as you promise.”

“Of course. You have my word.” She cupped his scruffy face. He had neglected to shave the past couple of days. It sent tingles along her hands.

“I promise, Eli. Thank you for letting me do this. I also was thinking, I know Belle doesn’t like me, and quite frankly, I don’t care.

“I had my best friend, and I don’t need someone to replace her, but she did say she’d watch the girls. If she still wants to, I can pay her for her time spent here to watch them.”

“I’ll handle all of that, baby. You worry about getting the bakery up and running. I’ll tell Dale to have her give me a call, come over, and I can hash things out with her.

“Then we can go to the bakery for a bit to figure out what you’d like to do with it, okay?”

She let out a little huff. He gave in to her request so she would give in to his. At least this time, he was asking. “Okay.”

They separated while he talked to Dale, then Belle and Andie went to check on her little girls.

She let out a yawn as she watched them. The last few days had been rough. It seemed no matter how much she slept or how well she slept, she was still so tired.

She still hadn’t let him talk about his idea of the master bedroom upstairs. She just couldn’t bring herself to talk about it yet.

It still seemed so fresh, even with the nightmares gone since she’d been in Eli’s safe, warm embrace at night. She let out a sigh as she leaned her head against the frame.

For a fleeting moment, she wondered what it would be like to have another baby, maybe a boy. But it didn’t last long when she felt a body come up behind her.

She moved back into the familiar warmth. “So what’s the verdict?”

“She’ll be here soon. Are you okay?” He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.

She turned around, laid her head against him, and wrapped her arms around him. “I’m okay,” she whispered and fought the tears.

He didn’t need to know what she’d just been thinking. He tilted her chin up and looked at her deeply. “You know you can tell me, right?”

“Yeah, it’s nothing, though.”

“Okay.” He looked in on the girls and then took her toward the living room. He sat down on the couch and pulled her down on his lap. He brushed a hand against her cheek. “I want to talk about the master bedroom.”

“Eli, please, no.”

“Babe, just hear me out. I don’t want to change it, I don’t know how long we’ll keep it the same, but we can for as long as we need to, but I want to make one little change.

“We can close it off from the bathroom, then open it up from the other bedroom beside it. Then we can move into that one.” He rubbed her thighs as she nestled against his semi-hardness.

She pursed her lips. “I guess that would be okay. Do I get to decorate our room?”

His eyebrows raised a little. “Sure, why not?”

“Okay.” She laid her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her.

***

Andie took a deep breath as Eli pulled up in front of the bakery. The huge window was replaced, and so were the logo and Andie’s Sweets.

“Hey, you okay?” Eli touched her arm.

“Yeah, it looks good,” she whispered. “Thank you for fixing it, Eli.”

“I’d do anything for you, including catching you from a falling ladder.”

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing I brought you. If I paint today, you’ll be there to catch me if I fall.”

Eli moved to the middle seat, put an arm around her shoulders, then dipped his head, plundering her lips as he laid his other hand against her cheek. “I’ll always catch you, even if you’re not on a ladder.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I know. I’m slowly learning, and the same goes for you.”

“Thanks for the offer, baby, but I might squish you if you try to catch me from falling off a ladder.”

She tilted her head up and smacked his shoulder. “That’s not funny.”

He broke into a full smile. “I can’t help it. You’re so tiny.”

She frowned at him. “I am not. You’re a jerk.” She turned to open the door.

He snatched her back and pulled her sideways over his lap, her back against the driver seat, and leaned down toward her.

Her breath hitched as his lips brushed hers, and her hands cupped his cheeks as the kiss deepened.

He slowly pulled back. “And this is why I like you being tiny. I can put a smile on that beautiful face of yours when I easily put you in these types of positions.”

She rolled her eyes at him and tried to fight the smile he had just mentioned. “Come on, cowboy. Let’s get inside so I can decide what to do now that it’s all fixed up.”

He tilted her back up into his lap, opened the door, and scooted over. Putting her arms around his neck, he carried her to the bakery. She giggled a little as they went inside.

He sat her up on the counter next to the register, and the giggle died as her gaze fell all around them.

There were so many patched-up places along the walls, ruining the light-gray walls with little pink iced vanilla cupcakes that Candice had painted.

Tears filled her eyes, and before she knew it, the tears flowed down her cheeks. Her heart ached so badly.

ELI

Eli turned to see the tears. He tilted his hat up a little, then moved between her legs. He wrapped his arms tightly around her. “I know, baby.”

“It’s all gone. Candice and I worked so hard on this place,” she sobbed. “She worked so hard on the cupcakes. It’s all gone, and I can’t get it back.”

He rubbed the back of her neck beneath her hair with his fingertips.

“I know, baby. I want to make it all better, I really do,” he murmured, and he tensed a little when she wrapped her arms around him, clutching his shirt tightly.

He was such a fool when he thought she didn’t care or wasn’t upset. Everything was still eating her up inside, and every day she put on a show.

He laid his cheek against the top of her head, letting the rose and vanilla scent encase him. He just let her cry it all out, even though it wouldn’t fix anything, but it might lessen the pain slightly.

After a little while, she pulled back, her body not trembling as badly, but she didn’t let go of his shirt. “I’m sorry I made your shirt all wet.”

“No big deal, sugar, but guess what?” he whispered, cupping her cheeks.

“What?” She sniffed a little.

He sighed. Her cheeks were red and puffy, and her beautiful eyes weren’t much better. They were so wide with vulnerability. “You crumpled, and I was right here to catch you.”

She pressed her cheek against his hand. “I’m sorry, but thank you.”

He brushed his lips to hers, then nuzzled her pert little nose gently. “Any time, babe, any time. Maybe this was too much, too soon,” he whispered.

Her eyes darted around, then looked back up at him as he rubbed his thumb against her cheek. “I’m just going to do a powder blue, I guess, and be done with it,” she whispered.

“Baby, we can wait a little longer if you want. I’ll let you bake me all kinds of things at the house. I’ll buy anything you need or want.”

She glanced around again. “No, I just want to go home,” she whispered.

“Babe…”

“No,” she whispered and started to get off the counter. He helped her down and took her back out to the truck.

“Do you at least want to go pick out the paint?”

She looked over at him. “Eh.”

“Andie, what’s the matter? It’s more than the bakery, isn’t it?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Andie, I’ve told you before not to lie to me,” he said firmly.

She let out a sigh, and tears began again. “It should have been me. I don’t know why, but I feel like it should have been me.

“At least they could have had more kids. I don’t have anything to offer you. Why would you love someone like me?”

“Andie, hey, hey, no. Come here.” He moved over to her and pulled her into him. “I love you because you make me laugh. You irritate the piss out of me, but it’s a good thing.

“You haven’t acted like a robot around me, and you’re not afraid to tell me off when there are so many people who are. You gave me Lucy ten months ago. We just didn’t know it yet.

“We have Lily, we have two very beautiful daughters, and we are a family, baby. You’re a wonderful mother to those two little girls, and we just fit together perfectly.”

She continued to cry as she leaned against him. There was something else going on with her, and he had no clue what. He just held her all over again until the tears stopped.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea. Belle’s still watching the girls. She thought we were going to paint. Why don’t we go on a ride?”

“Like on horses?” she sobbed a little.

“Yeah, why not?”

“Okay, why not?”

He smiled down at her. “Only if you want to, babe.”

“It sounds fun, so yeah, let’s do it.”

“Okay.”

They headed back home. Once they arrived, they went to the barn, and Eli got two horses tacked up. He helped her up onto the horse and then got on Lightning.

He took her hand gently as they rode along the well-worn trail. He couldn’t keep from glancing at her. He didn’t know what to do for Andie anymore.

He bit his cheek as he thought. “We could always adopt,” he suggested.

Her head whipped back to him. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I’d be happy to adopt if you want more kids, babe.”

She turned away from him. “Honestly, I don’t know what I want. Actually, I do. I want my best friend back. I want my life to go back to the way it was before.”

“Like when I wasn’t in it?” he snapped.

“No, Eli. That’s not what I meant.” She pulled back on his hand, but he shook her off quickly.

“Is it just the baby thing, or are you realizing you really don’t want to be with me?”

“Eli, that’s not what I said.”

“Could have fooled me. I’m going back.”

“Eli, please.” But he took off before she could finish.

He was so angry and knew he was going to lose his temper with her. He’d done well to keep it in check lately, and he didn’t want to lose it right now. She was emotional and was letting everything out.

He froze, turned his horse back around, and kicked him into a canter. He found her off of the horse, just standing there crying a little.

He jumped off the horse, ran up to her, and said, “Andie, come here, please?” He didn’t make a move toward her.

She looked at him, and she looked so hurt, but he waited for her to come to him, but she stepped back from him instead. “No.”

“Andie, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t care, just know we’re moving back out. It seems safe to me, and I’ll get the bakery opened back up and everything, all by myself.”

“Andie, don’t leave.”

“You wouldn’t want someone who really doesn’t want to be with you. I’ve set myself free with you, but I don’t want to be with you.”

“Andie, listen to me. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I know everything is getting to you, and I am so sorry. I was being an asshole. Please. I know you love me, and I love you.”

She glared at him but didn’t move away when he walked closer to her. She let him wrap his arms around her. “Why would you think I don’t love you?”

“Because I’m an idiot. Because I can’t say or do anything to make all of this go away, but I need you to do me a favor.”

“What?”

“Think back to when you found out you were pregnant with Lucy.”

“What about it?”

“Everything, just think of everything when you first found out.”

“Yeah, I don’t feel the same way. Why would you even bring this up? You know I can’t.”

“Why, because a couple of crackpot doctors told you that you couldn’t? Those same doctors tell you that before? Because if they did, then they are a bunch of quacks because, for crying out loud, you had a kid.

“We could try, Andie. If that’s what you really want, we can try. I’ll find you the best doctors so we can figure this out.”

“But why hope? What’s the point of hoping just to get shut down? I hoped once. I hoped you would like me when Candice told me how great you were. That was two years ago.

“It took two years for you to fall for me, and it took me being guardian over Lily to make that happen.

“What if this us having a baby thing takes too long and takes its toll on us, and we end up fighting even worse than this fight we are having right now, and it drives a wedge between us, like it already is.”

“Andie, nothing could drive me away from you.”

“You just ran, Eli. We started fighting, and you ran from me instead of staying to hash it out. What happens if we try to have a baby and it doesn’t happen? Are you going to run then?”

Eli took a deep breath. “No, I just didn’t want to yell at you. I wanted to be calmer to have this conversation. Just please, let’s start over. I love you.

“We don’t have to talk about it anymore today. When we get over everything else, we can reexamine this possibility, okay?”

“Just don’t run from me again. I never back down from you, remember? I stood up to you when we were dealing with Lily. Why would you think I wouldn’t do it now?”

“I didn’t want you to have to because I’m a fucking moron. Just come on, let’s go back home.”

She let him lead her back to the horse and help her up on it, and then he got back onto Lightning.

When they returned to the barn, Dale took the horses, and they headed back into the house. He kept her close to him again.

When they got inside, the girls were up. Eli paid Belle, and she left. Andie and Eli played with the girls until it was time for them to start supper.

Later, they gave the girls their baths and put them to bed, then went to bed. They were still too tense to do anything but hold each other all night.

They both hoped that in the next couple of days, their tension and the fight between them would fade, and things could get back to normal, back to being completely involved in each other and loving each other.