He released my arms, lightly pushing me back a few steps. Though my expression remained emotionless, I was struggling to remain calm and cold. My mask was slipping and I felt a heart-wrenching amount of guilt pool in my stomach, Guilt is consuming and the most destructive emotion that a person can feel.
I knew I was going to have to say something, before the guilt built up and crushed me. My eyes trailed over Sebastian, taking in his exhausted form that practically oozed the anxiety and stress that he was drowning in.
I parted my lips, nervously licking them over quickly before I spoke. > I said softly, > Sebastian asked quietly, his lips pressed to the top of my head. His warmth engulfed me, causing me to press my body into his as much as I could.
With my final string of strength, I managed to pull out a weak smile, one in which the corners of my mouth dipped down in sorrow and my brows furrowed together in pain.
>
And with that, I allowed myself to break, because in reality I don't think I would have been able to hold it together anymore even if I tried.
My body racked with sobs as he lifted me up bridal style, carrying me into his own room and underneath the covers to his bed. My hands tangled into his shirt and I held on with a tenacious grip until he had no other choice but to join me on his bed.
My face was tucked into his neck and his large body was tangled his mine as he rubbed comforting circles into my back and whispered sweet nothings into my ear.
I forgot who I was at that moment.
I forgot all about the heartless girl who the world had come to know as Evelyn Claire Summers.
I forgot about why I maintained my reputation even when I wanted nothing more than to lose it.
But it occurred to me why I wasn't bothering to keep my act up around Sebastian King.
I had thought it would feel good to have a breakdown, to let out all my pain and then start anew afterwards. I thought I wanted to cry without restraint, to let myself go and then it would all be okay in the end. Isn't that how it normally goes ? It should have felt nice to finally let go, at least that's what I had thought.
But I had been wrong, so very wrong.
+++++
I woke with a start, groaning as the headache crashed into me instantaneously. The clock on the table read half past three, yet it felt as though it was the middle of the night. The bright light shining through the windows told me otherwise, and as my eyes began to adjust, I was able to fully take in my surroundings.
I was trapped underneath layers of sheets and blankets, surrounded by warmth, but I did not recognize the room.
You know how sometimes you just forget about something? That state of confusion and forgetfulness typically comes in between the time your eyes open in the morning, to when you finally are fully awake and aware of everything that is happening.
And then just like that, I was awake.
My eyes grew wide as I stared down at the bed, which was empty except for me. I tried to ignore the sharp hurt that penetrated me when I realized that Sebastian wasn't there, but it seemed utterly hopeless.
My hands delicately cupped my face, which was slightly swollen from all the crying that had previously taken place. It had gotten so bad, that at one point Sebastian had to lift me out of the bed and take me into the bathroom and dab my heated face with a cool cloth.
Though the entire incident was painful and in fact quite humiliating, I actually felt much better. Despite the pounding ache within my head, and my swollen face and eyes, I felt as though I could breathe normally and just relax. It may sound ridiculous and completely stupid, but at this moment I felt as though I couldn't cry anymore even if I tried.
And believe me, I was getting really fed up with crying.
>
His voice carried through the room like a melody, while my eyes jerked up to the open doorway where he now stood. I locked eyes with him promptly, and felt warmth spread throughout my stomach. I felt different.
> was all I could manage, though it came out as a small croak much to my embarrassment.
He grinned at me for a moment before walking fully into the room. >
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I watched him carefully as he spoke, my eyes drawn to his lips and their perfect movements. Now that I think about it, everything Sebastian did was perfection. He was just perfect.
> I said softly, I rushed out as I pulled and tugged at the surrounding sheets. << I know what you must think of me now and-<<
My miniature rant was cut off as two large hands lifted me from the bed, placing my small feet onto the wooden ground. His hand slid down until then were firmly holding my by my waist, and I felt myself grow more awkward and sheepish as he stared down at me.
<< And what do I think of you? » He asked quietly, one of his large hands rising to my face to lift my chin upwards so that my eyes would meet his.