I walk to the front door, pausing at the last step. I let out a breath before getting into the house. The living room was empty, just the low volume of the TV filling the room.
My mum must have left to get something or gone to the bathroom cause one of her favorite reality series was running. Still have no idea why she likes Love Island so much.
"Abby?", I turn to the stairs to see her walking down with her robe over her body. She isn't all that slim but she isn't all that chubby either. I guess genes wasn't really involved.. maybe it was I who let myself go.
"Hi mum", I slowly say as she finally gets down the stairs and walks up to me. She's been putting up with my awful behavior this whole week. It must have been tiring.
"I'm sorry", I let out even before my brain can process it and her eyes soften at the apology. "I'm the reason I'm fat not you or anyone".
"Oh honey, it's okay.. but you were right, I should have stopped you but I just gave you what you wanted and that's not right of me as a mother", she says pulling me into a hug.
I hold her tight.
"I love you sweetie and I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy", she says and I melt at her words.
"I love you too mum and I promise to stop acting bratty", I say and she chuckles then pulls me away to look at me.
"It's okay sweetie", she says with a smile and I smile too, "So, how was school today?", she asks.
"I joined the yacht club",
She scrunches her brows together, "Yacht Club?, is it like a new thing now?".
"Kind of", I answer walking the kitchen. To be honest, this diet thing is worst than getting hit by a church bus on a good Friday.. too much?.
I look into the fridge for anything tangible but then pull away with my face all scrunched up when I see the contents.
"This place is like a green field", I say looking back at her.
"Yeah, we're going healthy remember", she says and I inwardly groan.
"Yeah".
"Go take a bath so we can have dinner", she says so I nod then head upstairs to my room. I discard my bag on my bed.
I fall on it, groaning a bit as I spill the contents of my bag onto my bed. The thought of my fist dashing across Amber's face crosses my mind, no actually scratch that, it doesn't just cross it sits there like a big-ass sumo wrestler. Ugh.
I pick out my statistics textbook then place it on my nightstand. If I didn't have an idea of what the answer to that question could be then I'm so not ready for the exam.
I lazily walk to the bathroom but then stop when my nose catches a whiff of something.
I sniff, "Why does it smell like Noah in here?". I narrow my eyes at the room. Did he come in.. Nah, probably just over thinking. He wouldn't come see me anyways.
I shrug, walking to the bathroom. Once I'm done, I come out with a towel wrapped around my body. Noah's scent seems more evident now as I breath in and out.
I walk to the window and just as if on cue his lights go off. That's weird. It's still past eight, isn't that too early to go to sleep. Maybe he had it hard in practice.
I turn to my bed and notice my sketch book open. I don't remember leaving it that way.. maybe the wind must have blown it open?.
I close the window then shut the curtains. I get ready for dinner, putting on my comfy night dress on before walking downstairs.
I take a seat with my mum, slightly frowning at how green the table looks. I hate vegetables.
"How's your preparations for finals going?", she asks as she passes me the bowl of asparagus. I frown at her.
"It's going fine", I say reluctantly putting some on my plate.
"So.. I talked to your dad", she says just as I'm about to take a bite so I pause. I look up to see her watching my expression.
"I only kept him away because of how much pain he caused.. I saw how you cried, how it affected you", she says and I keep her gaze.
"So I didn't know how to tell you..", she trails.
"That he wanted to come back?", I ask.
She sighs with a sympathetic look, "That he had another family",
An instant pain hits my chest and it's like the same feeling from the beach. Where I'm lost, like I'm stuck in a bad memory. Why'd he leave though? Are we the problem? Aren't we good enough?.
"Abby", my mum softly says reaching across the table to hold my hand.
Hot tears spill down my cheeks as I swallow the huge bile rising up my throat.
"I'm sorry", she says and I feel her arms wrap around me. I didn't even know when she got off her seat.
I cry on her and she holds me close, rubbing my back as she repeatedly says it's okay.
**
I stare longingly at the photo. My mum, dad and I sitting on the sand with the sand castle we made in front of us. I place it down.
"Your dad loves you Abby", she tells me and I've never had such an emotionless demeanor on my face.
"Then why'd he leave?", I ask.
"Sometimes-",
"Don't make excuses for him", I cut her off, looking at her, "He found someone better, he doesn't love you.. or me".
She sighs and I lie down, turning away from her as I pull the sheets higher. I focus my eyes on my closed window. I hear her sigh again as she gets up from the bed.
"Goodnight Abby", she says and I hear my bedroom door open and close.
I sigh.
**
"Break a leg Ginger", Hernandez says as he waves me good bye. I let out a faux smile as I wave back.
When he disappears into a corner I let my frown surface. After hearing the news with Mr Flenory I almost fell into another episode of 'how to gain more weight' but my mum helped me refrain from that.
Not gonna lie though, I'm craving ice cream and lots of chocolate. Just to release the sadness I feel inside.
Just as I turn to walk out of the hallway, I bump into something, something hard. So I wince as I step back.
I look up to see Noah. His eyes widen as he sees me.
"I'm sorry", he says and there's a little uplift in my chest. Like I've been craving his voice. The look in his eyes makes it seem like this wasn't the only thing he was sorry for.
I nod, "Uh.. good luck", I tell him sheepishly and he nods.
"Good luck.. although you won't be needing it", he says with a smirk before walking away.
I watch his retreating figure until he turns into another hallway and I can't see him anymore. I smile.
**
I look through the mirror as I put my hair in a ponytail. I hold on to the sink, taking deep breaths. You can do this, you can do this Abby..
Aw who am I kidding? It's dodge ball for crying out loud. I'm dead meat.
I walk into the court, my sneakers screeching the floor. I let out a breath. I'm sweating so much, thank God I put on extra deodorant.
"Wonder who's gonna put her in a team", a flying comment gets into my ear so I focus on the floor, holding on to my elbow tightly.
"Yeah.. she's too fat to run",
"But she's thick though", I look up to see three boys looking over at me. I gulp immediately looking away. I pull my shorts down as I walk back. They keep getting stuck in between my legs.
Since I'm walking back I'm unaware of someone coming so I bump into them but I'm held in place by their strong hands.
"Watch it fatty", Asher says coldly as he walks away from me. I watch as he walks up to some other guys. Wonder how he's been writing his exams.
Coach walks in and everyone pipes down. "So, this year the school decided to go with dodge ball as it's one of the most challenging",
The school was clearly after me. I'm kinda thinking they want me to go to that study camp but to be tutored not as a tutor.
I'm starting to think principal Shelby really wanted me to put in my best and unfortunately my best isn't ever enough or close to being enough.
"Now it's gonna be majorly on how tactical your thinking and movements are, so don't think you can get off marks from your teammates", he says and I fear he's talking to me.
"Now split yourselves into four groups", he says then drinks out of his white New Balance water bottle.
Now this is where the real struggle starts. No one's gonna pick me.
People start to group themselves and I find myself wishing I joined a sport at a young age. Maybe it would have saved me from being too fat to run a mile without wanting to die.
"Make it fair, three boys and three girls", coach says and there's groans from the boy's end.
"Got a team yet?", someone asks and I turn to see a brunette girl.
I look behind just In case I'm in the middle of something here. But there's no one behind me so I look back at her with shock all over my face.
"Me?", I ask, pointing at myself.
"For some reason he wants you to be on the team", she sighs and I look behind her to see Noah.
I mean, what have I got to lose.. well a good grade but you know..
I walk to Noah and the other teammates. They were a group of four boys and with me in the equation, two girls making it the complete six players.
"Not a chance", a guy on the team says when he sees me and I prepare myself for the opinions of others.
"Hey I was fair, I said you picked the guys while I picked the girls", Noah says.
"Coach said three girls though", the girl says as she crosses her arms.
"They're more boys here so some teams are gonna have less girls on their team", another guy says.
"She's gonna weigh us down", the last guy, who at first didn't seem bothered, finally speaks up.
The others snicker and Noah narrows his eyes at them so they pipe down, "Just focus on the game.. not her".
They look displeased to say the least but Noah gives me a small smile. The one that says 'I'm here'.