I walk to my house with a box of cookies in hand. Sometimes in life we can't just reject things, am I right?. I get in taking my shoes off. They don't look that clean to take into the house.
"Hey Abby", my mum says and I turn to see her sitting on a couch. I look at the TV. Her favorite soap opera was running.
"Hey mum", I say.
"Why so late today?", she asks as I make my way to the stairs.
"Tutoring", I say still walking to my room. I hear her sigh before I reach the top of the stairs. I sigh too. I know it seems like I'm distancing myself these days from her but these past few days have been weird. From getting into detention to buzz cut boy and the Noah issues it's just been crazy.
I sadly walk into my room. I put away my backpack then drop the box of cookies on my table. I fall on my bed afterwards turning to put my face into my pillow and then screaming into it. When I stop I look up and I'm caught up in someone's brown eyes. Through the window, Noah stood watching me with sad eyes. I don't move, I just look back at him and it's like that for a while before I get up from my bed walking to the window. I slowly grab the curtains and although Noah seems like he wants to say something I shut them close.
I walk back to my bed grabbing my phone before heading to the bathroom. So I can cry peacefully with some music.
I put on "Watch" by Billie Eilish after I take my clothes off. I get into the tub, stand under the shower and then turn the water on. The cold water reaches my back just as the chorus starts and I let my tears flow with the water.
I sit on the tub and just let myself cry. I cry so hard I don't even realize when the song ends and enters a pop song. Which makes the whole cry episode freaking weird.
"Are you kidding me?!".
**
I walk back into the room with a robe on. I sit in front of my mirror. My face looks like a washed up jean. It's so white and my eyes are red like a chain smoker's. The 'I took a long bath' lie will do the trick.
I put the hair dryer on so I can dry my hair. I don't really put an effort in getting it to look good. I just put it in a messy bun then just sit there for a while, letting out a sigh escape my lips every few seconds.
When I finally get up I make the effort to change into a hoodie and jogger pants. I get into my bed and slowly devour the cookies. Carmen's cookies are like so good you'd think her recipe's from heaven. I miss baking with her.
If I was just a bit slim everything would be easier. I could wear what I want, eat what I want without thinking of how I'd gain a thousand pounds afterwards and maybe just maybe I wouldn't get bullied anymore.
I put the cookies down, a subtle frown on my face. My mind goes back to my argument with Noah and honestly.. I can't believe I said he was full of shit. And sexual problems? Christ, I've said a lot today. I put my head in my hands shaking it slightly.
Noah's a good friend and I know it but.. he didn't really show that today. From the moment Loren started cussing at me he would have stood up for me but he didn't and I wonder why.. or was it because he was mad at me earlier? But what if I was mad at Noah and something like that happened to him, I know I'd stand up for him without a thought. Maybe he's not a good friend after all. And maybe Loren's right, I'm a homework slave. My career started off with Noah and I'd like to say it ended there.
I pick up my bag pulling my sketch book out. I look at all the sketches I've made. They mean so much to me.. I wish Noah would appreciate them the way Hernandez did. But I can never really know if he'll find them disturbing until I show them to him. Well one thing's for sure I can't show him now or anytime soon because it's clear enough to say we're no longer on speaking terms.
I place the sketch book on my nightstand then walk to my study desk to get my headphones. I pick them up, turn them on, then put them on.
Most times when I get bullied I usually just get sad then have this sudden spark of motivation running through my veins and I just go out to jog but today's not those days because in my perspective.. I have a right to be upset and just lay in bed listening to music of my taste and eating sweet sugary fat enhancing cookies even if I'm plus size!.
I bite into a cookie and then smile when I don't feel guilty about it.
**
I get out early today so I won't be late. Don't wanna hurl all my breakfast away again. I walk past a familiar house so I slow down a bit to fully remember whose house it is. There's a meow sound coming from inside the house and a distant screeching sound. I turn to look at the window of the house and I see a black cat letting his claws glide down the window leaving scratch marks on it. No wonder the house looked familiar, this was the cat who peed on me the day I fell into the shrubs. I jitter quickly walking away. I hope I can seal that memory some day.
I stop at some point in my walk tying my shoelaces. The sun I once felt on my skin suddenly disappears and I look up to see the sun still there. God I almost burned my eyes out. I look down blinking repeatedly.
"Uh you okay?", I look up to see a man. His car was the reason for the sun's disappearance.
I get up, "Uh yeah", I say keeping my guard up in case he's a serial-
"I live here so I was just wondering what you were doing in front of my porch", he says and I drop down all negative thoughts about him.
"Oh uh sorry, was just tying my shoelaces", I say and he nods. So I awkwardly make a move to go.
"Hey uh are you going to Nashville high?", He asks so I stop. Oh no he is a serial- "Cause my daughter's also attending that school and she's new there". Okay no more thoughts.
"Oh really?", I ask and he nods.
"Yeah I was going to take her to school now. I just drove out to get something a while ago", he says and my brows crease. What's something?. "You know the caffeine shop is all the way down so I just decided to get that first", he explains. My God Abby you need to stop with the assumptive thinking.
"Oh yeah.. of course", I say.
"So I'm Peter Jefferson", he says and we both stare at each other for a while until I figure out what he's waiting for.
"Oh and I'm Abby. Abby Flenory", I say and he nods with a small smile.
The front door of his house opens and a girl about my age walks down the porch and to us.
"Callie this is Abby. I just found out she goes to your school", Mr Jefferson says putting a hand on Callie's shoulder.
Callie pushes her glasses up and gives me a nervous smile, "Hi I'm Callie- oh my dad already said that", she says then looks down.
"Okay um would you want to join the ride to school Abby?", Mr Jefferson asks and who would I be to say no. I mean, I've still got a long way to go before I actually get to school.
"Sure".
We get into the car with Mr Jefferson in the front seat and Callie and I at the back.
"So Abby, what grade are you in?", He asks as he starts driving.
"11th", I answer and he's eyes brighten.
"Oh well would you look at that. Callie's also in the 11th grade, right Callie?", He asks bringing Callie into the conversation although she wouldn't mind to be out of it.
"Uh yeah", she quietly says giving us a glance before looking back at the window.
I notice her dad look at her with sad eyes through the rearview mirror before he's eyes land on me I awkwardly look away giving out a small cough.
We soon reach school and I thank Mr Jefferson for the ride getting down. Callie gets down too walking to the school's door. I get stopped by Mr Jefferson calling me from his car so I walk back to it peering down the window.
"Hey um.. it's kind of hard for Callie making friends with us moving a lot so um could you please help her with getting in?", He asks and I blink. He's asking me a special bullied all timer to help his daughter get in? Sir you've got the wrong kid and I mean really wrong.
"Uh huh.. okay", I say and he nods letting out a straight smile.
"Thanks".
I walk into school and almost scream when someone jumps right in front of me from nowhere.
"Jesus!", I panic holding on to my chest.
"Did my dad tell you to help me fit in?", She asks.
"Uh.. well.. he used the words get in so technically- I'm guessing he does that a lot doesn't he?", I ask and she sighs.
"Yeah and it's useless because we keep moving away", she says with a frown and it's like she suddenly notices I'm still here because she discards the frown and puts a neutral look on. "I'm sorry I'm telling you this".
"No it's fine", I say. "What's your first class?", I ask and she looks a bit suspicious.
"Did.. he pay you?", She asks and I'm shocked.
"He does that too".
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