âThere is only one good â knowledge; and only one evil â ignorance.â â Socrates
X
Thursday, August 15, 2013. 9:00 p.m.th
I check my watch. Only thirty minutes until I have my next job. Another boring clean kill for a secretive client. I hate those types of kills where I donât get to do anything exciting, but at least it pays good money. Itâs nearby, which is fortunate since it means I have time to come here for a little update as well. I should get ready for the job, though, but this bitch Iâm waiting for is late. I sigh.
From the sidelines I watch her dance around the pole. Itâs been some time since I last saw her in the flesh, and I have to say it still stops me in my tracks. Sheâs still as flexible as ever, her long legs elegantly hugging the pole as she hangs from it. Her dark brown hair follows the curves of her shoulders, accentuating her beautiful body. The way she looks at customers with those deadly seductive chocolate eyes of hers ⦠it enthralls them. I know, because Iâve been in that exact position before. At times like these itâs hard to forget why I hate her so much.
I canât wait to get out of here.
The music is loud and annoying, so Iâm glad when Hannah finally arrives. âHey,â she says, throwing her long, straight blonde locks back. âWow, I havenât seen you here in ages! I thought you only wanted to use the phone from now on?â
I give Hannah a nod and then point toward the door in the back. I donât want to stay here and keep talking. Being here makes the bile rise up in my throat. Seeing her makes me confused. I donât do confused.
âRight ⦠to the back it is,â Hannah says as she follows me to the back.
When weâre out of sight of the customers and Don I ask, âDid you do as I asked?â
âYeah, it took me a while to find one and get him interested in the idea, but once I told him about how happy the previous customers were, he was totally in for it.â
âGood,â I say, grinning. Very good.
âMake sure itâs hard and rough.â
âHe will be, no doubt about it.â She holds up her hand, tapping her foot like the unappreciative money-hungry wolf she is. Just another one of those whores.
I lean in and grab her hand, pushing it to the back of the wall, cornering her. Her breathing is ragged and her eyes widen as I pin her against the wall. With my gun against her belly she has nowhere to go. Itâs hungry for blood, but I donât want to feed it with the blood of the people I might still need to use.
âYou should be happy youâre still alive,â I whisper in her ear.
Hannah shivers, her lips letting out small puffs of air as I retreat again.
âYou will report to me tomorrow,â I say, and then I pull back the gun and put it back in my holster. âThen you will get your money, and not a day sooner.â
âBut I got you exactly what you wanted! Iâve earnedââ
âYou got me nothing,â I hiss, clenching her chin between my index finger and thumb. âI got you your drugs. Your money. Your life. You owe it to me. You owe me everything. I do not owe you.â Tears are in her eyes, but I donât give a shit about them. Itâs pathetic, really. As if crying is going to solve her problem. She got into this mess, and itâs her own fault she got involved with me.
I let go of her chin and squint as she hugs the wall to get as much space between us as possible. She rubs her chin and whimpers. âI thought I was doing what you wanted.â
âI donât want anything from you other than what I tell you to do. Youâll get what I give you. End of story. Now get back to work.â
Her blue eyes drift off to the floor, her left hand tentatively scratching the top of her right hand. Such a weakling. âOkay â¦â She turns around and attempts to walk away, but I grab her hand and stop her in her tracks.
âDo not speak of this to anyone, do you understand?â
âI wonât, sir. Never.â
With narrowed eyes I watch her face as she speaks the words. I can tell when those bitches are lying. Lucky for her she isnât. This time â¦
I flash her a brief half-smile. âGood girl.â
***
Thursday, August 15, 2013. 11:00 p.m.th
Watching Jay tie herself to the bed is fucking riling me up. As much as I hate to admit it, that body of hers still manages to get me aroused. So much for having control. I might have her under my thumb, but my cock ⦠it has a mind of its own. My gun isnât the only thing pointing in her direction.
When sheâs done with her feet, she looks up at me with those pleading eyes that scream fear. Itâs such a turn-on and at the same time I hate seeing her look at me like that. I hate her looking at me, period. I hate everything about her.
There arenât a lot of people I donât hate, but I hate her especially.
âBind your left hand to the bedpost.â I flick my gun and she takes a short gasp of air the moment I wave it about. It makes me laugh when they act like that, all scared of this puny metal thing. They should be more scared about what I could do to them if I had my tools with me. Alas, itâs not always a good day.
I grab the bottle of scotch standing on the cupboard and pour myself a drink while I keep an eye on her, making sure she doesnât do anything stupid like try to escape. Like she could ever escape my grasp. Thatâs a laugh.
I admit, I am an asshole. Do I care? Not in a million years. I do what I do because I love seeing the fear in their eyes before I kill them. I love the thrill of preparing the kill, thinking about all the ways I can make them scream in agony. Of course, their death is not the only thing I enjoy. My profession comes with grand rewards that Iâll gladly make use of. Swimming in gold means killing a few people here and there. Not everyone lives like that. You could say Iâm pretty lucky. Or just really smart. Itâs probably a combination of both since I chose this path, but I would never have become this way if it wasnât for ⦠her.
She sobs as the final strap is wrapped around her wrist. She looks at me, the expression on her face cold and heartless. Closed off from everything around her, as if sheâs planning to kill me. I love it. It reminds me of myself.
I set my scotch down on the table and pick up my gun. Walking over to her, I point downwards, instructing her to lie down on the bed.
âPlease â¦â she begs.
âShhh.â I put my finger on my lips. âYou donât want to spill something youâll regret.â I lean forward and inspect the rope around her wrist to see if itâs tied up properly. Itâs a shoddy rope, one I carry around at all times, but not one Iâm too fond of. Itâs sort of an emergency rope, and it saddens me to use it because I donât like it. I would have preferred to use something much nicer on her. Not that she deserves it, but still, I like my works to be beautiful. Like a piece of art.
Her lips part. âLet meââ
I jerk on the rope. A short squeak escapes her mouth. She should watch her mouth. Bad things come from there. âLike I said ⦠shut up.â
âBut why? Why me? And how do you know my name?â The sudden terror in her eyes captures my attention. A cold rush in their bodies, a staggered breath, hearts that skip beats. I love watching it unfold. Except now.
With her, itâs different.
She stops me in my tracks and makes me remember why I hate her so much. Why I am who I am. Why she doesnât remember me.
I hate that part too.
I pull the rope tighter until she canât move her wrist anymore. Her jaw is clenched and her lips look like those of a ravenous dog whoâs about to bite the head off its victim. Magnificent.
Smiling at her, I walk to where her feet are and do the same, keeping eye contact with her at all times. I want her to see how I love watching her squirm in the bonds that canât be removed by anyone else but me; someone she despises and fears. Itâs so unfortunate that she has no recollection of how much more I despise her than she can ever despise me.
Which is all the more reason to keep her tied up here. I should make her suffer; she deserves it. Although I never imagined I would go about it like this, it sure beats the hell out of just watching. Now I get to participate.
âAre you comfortable, little bird?â I ask, walking to the other side of the bed.
âFuck you.â
âNow, now, I thought I had already established that is not the purpose of this intrusion.â
âWell then what the fuck do you want from me? Are you here to watch me do myself? Are you here to kill me? Are you going to sit there and wait until I confess my darkest secrets to you? Or do you want me to do a little dance for you, huh?â she muses. âBecause I sure as hell have no clue why the fuck you are in my room, trying to fucking blow my brains out!â
I laugh and shake my head at her outburst. Grabbing her other hand, I secure it to the bedpost and tie up her last remaining free limb. Strapping it up nicely until she hisses from the pain, I say, âNone of that.â I wink. âOr maybe all of them.â
âOh, screw you! I donât deserve any of this. What have I ever done to you?â
I frown, gazing down upon her. Her eyes speak the truth. âYou donât remember, do you?â
Her eyes widen and her lips part. It takes her a few seconds to answer. âRemember what?â
âEverything.â
Grabbing her hair, I force her to lean back and look at me. Gaze at the hideousness that marks my face. Accept the fate that sheâs been given just as it was given to me.
Time hasnât had any effect on her. She is still a beauty, a seductress, a sinful dancer, a wild girl, and I am still the ugly monster she made me turn into. Nothing has changed. She used to be the only thing on my mind, and now she still is. All I wanted was for her to be mine; now I want her to be dead.
Even after all these years, all this torment, all the hate, all the jealousy stored inside me hasnât vanished. Itâs only gotten stronger.
But so has my desire to teach her a lesson. To show her what she could have had.
So I hold her hair tight, pulling it back until it pains her, and then press my lips firmly on top of hers. They are sweet and luscious and all I remember them being.
Until she draws her fangs.
A jolt of pain sears my lips. A metallic taste enters my mouth. I withdraw.
The bitch bit me.
My eyes narrow as I grab her chin. âBad girl.â
She spits in my face.
I wipe it off with my hand and smear it on her lips and cheeks, making sure to clean my hand on her face. âYouâre a filthy one, you know that? If I wanted your spit I would have shoved my cock in your mouth.â
I smile. She has dick-sucking lips, worthy of being face-fucked. For a moment I consider the option.
âFuck you!â she says, pulling me from my delicious thoughts.
Such a potty mouth. Itâs annoying.
I take a deep breath and look at her. Her cheeks are red and her chest is rosy. A sign of distress. Or a sign of excitement. I canât say I donât feel it myself. Just that one kiss reminded me how much I miss it, and just how much I envy that she took it all away from me.
I grab the curtain and rip off a piece, twisting it up. Then I stuff it in her mouth and tie it behind her head. Her muffles wonât penetrate this material. I stand up and walk back to my seat next to the table. Turning around, I admire my work. Well, sort of. It is partially her work, but it was still instructed by me, thus it is my work.
She grinds her teeth, jerking at the ropes with her wrists as if it will loosen them. Nothing will free her. Nothing can save her. Not now that I have stepped into her life again.
Fuck, I still canât believe it was her in this room. I expected a random girl, and found her instead. Fate has a humorous way of messing with peopleâs lives. Itâs almost pitiful. However, I wonât let it interfere. Not this time. I wonât let this get the better of me.
The gun is in my hands once again. Her whimpers fill my ears but donât drown out her silent screams. Her eyes shift between the gun and me, whilst my eye is locked on hers. I want her to see me the moment I erase her existence and she fades from this life into the next. I raise the gun to eyelevel and aim for her head. My finger is on the trigger, ready to deliver the final blow. She has to die. This isnât what I wanted, but it must be done. I guess our playtime has come to an end. I knew it had to end sometime, but not that itâd be this quick. Looking at her lying there makes me remember all the things I wish I had forgotten, just like she has.
Clenching my teeth, I take another deep breath and focus on her face. She doesnât remember me. I hate her for it, because she wasnât supposed to forget. Itâs all her fault.
However, when I look into her eyes, I donât see what I thought I would see. Sheâs not an innocent, but she knows. Her eyes are full of regret. I thought I would see fear, anger, or pain, but instead I see her wishing itâll be over soon. I could end it right now. I could pull the trigger and put an end to all of it. Everything. Even me.
I could, but I canât.
Somehow, this is the only thing I canât do. After all the things sheâs caused, I donât want it to end like this. I want to make her suffer a bit longer. She doesnât deserve my mercy, but I have to think about this. Do I really want her dead? Or just severely punished?
I still canât believe this was my assignment.
Watching the tears roll down her cheeks, I clear my throat and lower the gun. Her chest rises, air coming out in short gasps as she blinks away the wetness in her eyes.
âYouâre not going to kill me?â she mutters through the cloth.
âI guess youâre gonna have to wait a little longer,â I say, walking back to my chair. Slumping down, I grab the glass of scotch and gulp it down all at once. Goddammit. Iâve become a pussy. I should do something about it, but first I need to decide which choice to make.
I rub my forehead and check my watch. Only six hours left until Antonioâs here. Shit. Only six hours to decide what Iâm going to do. Six hours to decide her fate. Whatever choice I make, this wonât end well. Both our lives have been at stake since the moment I entered this room.
The only question left is: who will surrender first?