Ben's P.O.V.
I walk down the hall and turn the corner to the bedroom, stopping short at the sight that greets me.
Jay's sitting upright in bed, panting heavily. I hurry over, scanning him for signs of injury. "Hey what's wrong?" He shakes his head. "I'm fine. Just a bad dream." He says, avoiding eye contact.
I watch him carefully for a few moments before deciding to drop it. He clearly doesn't want to talk about it now.
Madelyn suddenly runs into the room, leaping onto the bed and scaring Jay in the process, him visibly jumping.
"Madelyn I told you to wait in the living room," I chide.
She twists her face into a pout. "I wanted to meet him." She whines, and I sigh. "Okay, Madelyn this is Jay. Jay, this is my little sister Madelyn."
She tilts her head at him, looking closely at his eyes. "Blue Jay!" She exclaims, clapping her hands.
"What?" Jay says, chuckling.
"Your eyes." I say, smiling. My eyes widen as I realize what just came out of my mouth. "Uh, I mean- that's not to say- I didn't memorize- er- uh. You have blue eyes." I say, stumbling over my words.
His eyebrows raise in amusement. "Yeah, I do."
"Blue Jay!" Madelyn exclaims again, climbing out of the bed and tugging his hand in an attempt to pull him along with her.
"Whoa now little monkey." I release her hand from his and scoop her up into my arms. "Let's give Jay time to wake up. Why don't we make some breakfast?" She nods enthusiastically and I take her down the hall again into the kitchen.
I start on making eggs and am helping Madelyn make toast when Jay stumbles sleepily into the kitchen. "Hey." He says, voice still laced with sleep.
He clears his throat with a frown and plops onto the stool by the counter. "Good morning." I say with a smile, sliding him a glass of water.
"We're in charge of Madelyn today. My mom's dropping off my brothers at summer camp." I say, sliding the eggs around in the pan.
He takes a sip of water and frowns again. "Just how many siblings do you have?" He asks. "Three- Madelyn, and the twins, Jasper and Miles."
He nods. "I was thinking we'd take her to the zoo today, if you're up for it." I say, studying his face carefully.
"That's fine, I'm going to go shower first though." He says, climbing down off the stool.
"Zoo!" Madelyn exclaims with a grin.
"Jay, the food's almost done, why don't you eat first?" I say, demonstrating to Madelyn how to butter toast.
He simply shakes his head and wanders off down the hall. I bite my lip in worry as I watch him leave. Something's off with him.
I pull the eggs off the burner and plate some for Madelyn before guiding her to the living room and then following Jay down the hall to the bedroom.
I walk into the room and stop abruptly. Jay's digging around for clothes in my drawer, which is normal. However, he's shirtless, his broad back muscles exposed directly to me, something I was not expecting.
The words I was about to say completely disappear from my brain and I draw a blank.
Instead, a "uhhhhhhhh" comes out of my mouth. He turns around and my face flushes. "Um, I was just, uh, just..." I take a breath, trying to refocus my thoughts while simultaneously being distracted by his bare chest. "Are you sure you're alright?" I ask, finally getting words out. "Did you want to talk about your nightmare?"
He hesitates, breaking eye contact, and I can sense him fighting himself on what to say.
He eventually just shakes his head and turns back to the drawer, pulling out some pants.
I can see his back is tensely set, but he doesn't say anything and instead just walks past me with his clothes to the bathroom to take a shower.
I purse my lips, and pause as I walk past the shut bathroom door. Do I knock? Ask if he's alright? Or leave him be for a bit?
I bite my lip in indecision, staring at the door for a few moments before eventually making my way back to Madelyn.
She's completely absorbed in her show, but after 20 minutes the only thing I've found the only thing I can focus on is the bathroom door.
I get off the couch and hesitate by the door again. The water stopped running several minutes ago, but I still pause, my hand hovering by the door.
Am I making him uncomfortable with how personal we've been getting?
The door opens and I'm caught like a deer in the headlights.
He stands shirtless in the doorframe, looking at me curiously. I stumble over words. "Uh, I just wanted to, um, to, fuck, I mean, CHECK, check-in. Just, are you okay?" Wow, self, real smooth.
He smiles a small smile. "I'll- I'll be alright. I think I just need a day to relax and take my mind off things. Let me finish getting dressed, and we'll take Madelyn to the zoo."
He starts walking down the hall, then stops and turns around, coming back and pulling me into a sudden hug. I freeze for a moment in surprise before wrapping my arms around him too.
"Thanks." He whispers in my ear, then goes back down the hall, leaving me a blushing mess. I stand there for a few moments, just relishing the chill that ran through my body by my skin coming in contact with his.
Jeez, I need to pull myself together. I shake out of my stupor and go back to the kitchen, plating the rest of the eggs for us and warming them up in the microwave again.
Jay walks into the kitchen just as I pull the second plate out of the microwave.
Unfortunately for my eyes, he's now wearing a shirt. Although I can definitely appreciate how it hugs his shoulders and- Dear lord, I need to focus. I blink a few times, realizing I've just been staring at him for the last minute, then hand him his plate.
"Thanks." He says with a smile, walking to the living room. I take a moment to settle my thoughts and pull myself together for the day before I follow him.
"Blue Jay!" Madelyn says as he walks in. I smile, looking over at him. He grins and sits next to her on the couch. "Hello, how's your show?" She giggles and starts on a long rambling spiel about the storyline.
I quickly lose interest and focus on my food, but I catch Jay nodding along intently as she tells him about the show.
I stifle a laugh and finish my food, taking our empty plates back to the kitchen. When I return to the living room, Madelyn is chattering away to Jay about the zoo.
"Madelyn, why don't you put your shoes on? Jay and I need to finish getting ready." She nods and gets up so fast she nearly trips, running to get her shoes.
I grab my battered converse from the corner and toss Jay's tennis shoes to where he's sitting on the couch.
By the time I manage to grab my keys, jean jacket, and wallet, Madelyn's standing eagerly at the door, bouncing on the tips of her toes. "Blue Jay!" She hollers, opening the front door.
Jay appears and she grins, grabbing his hand and pulling him down the hallway.
"Whoa, monkey, slow down. The animals will wait for us." I call.
She pouts, but slows considerably. I catch up to them after locking the door and she takes my hand too, dragging us to the car.
She continues to bounce as she waits for me to pull her booster seat out of the trunk. Even after I finally get her loaded into the car and climb in the driver's seat with Jay next to me, she's clapping happily.
I glance over at Jay as I drive to find him smiling in the mirror at her as she rambles about all the animals she wants to see.
I pull up to the zoo and she struggles to get her seatbelt off as fast as possible before scrambling out of the car and immediately running to Jay, who's just climbed out.
He grins and picks her up, carrying her to the entrance as they discuss their favorite animals.
"Monkeys are the best! They climb everywhere!" She exclaims.
He laughs. "I like the penguins. Have you seen them slide on their bellies?" She shakes her head in awe. "Ben Ben Ben can we see the penguins first?" I smile and nod as I pay for our tickets, taking a map to decipher our location.
We start walking and I look back at the map with confusion. "Wait if that's the reptile house then where??" I trail off.
Jay smirks at me. "Maybe I should be the one handling the directions." I sigh, giving up on trying and just handing him the map.
I turn to Madelyn. "Now remember, we don't want you getting lost, so make sure you're holding one of our hands or we can see you, okay?"
She nods then frowns. "But you gonna get lost." She grabs the map and then takes Jay's hand and mine, putting them together, nodding matter of factly. "Now no one get lost."
I look down at our hands and then look away, face flushing. But neither of us pull away, and we continue to the penguins with Madelyn and Jay decoding the map together.
We make it to the penguins and Madelyn squirms to be put down so she can run over and press her face against the glass to watch them. Jay and I watch her from the corner, and I suddenly become very conscious that his hand is still holding mine. It's kind of... nice?
Do I... like him?
Madelyn suddenly runs over, interrupting my train of thoughts. "Guyyyyys come look!" She says, taking my hand and tugging us over.
Jay grins, pointing out a penguin who's chasing another around the small portion of land on the edge of the water.
Madelyn is completely enraptured, laughing every time one dives into the water.
Eventually it's been twenty straight minutes of her watching penguins, and I have coerce her into going to see the other animals too.
"We can show Blue Jay the monkeys!" She decides excitedly, taking my other hand.
After several hours of wandering around the zoo grounds, she finally starts to get tuckered out. Jay picks her up and, still hand in hand, we stop at the gift shop on our way out.
Madelyn is within sight, looking at all the stuffed animals while Jay and I wander down a few aisles together, laughing at the shirts that say things like 'Kiss my giraffe' and 'every zoo is a petting zoo if you're brave enough.'
I've pulled a sloth one off the rack to hold against him for sizing when some lady turns the corner and sees us holding hands, her face immediately morphing into disgust.
"There are children here! Go somewhere else you faggots." I watch Jay's face drop from a bright laughing smile directed at me into a completely upset face. He bites his lip and I can tell he's trying not to cry, her words likely bringing back bad memories.
I pull him behind me. "Ma'am this is a public place and we have just as much right to be here as you. We're just here to enjoy our day, so if you could let us be we'd appreciate it."
She scoffs but turns on her heel and stalks away, pulling her child behind her and muttering under her breath.
I turn my gaze back to Jay and my face immediately softens at his expression. "Hey, ignore her." I say, squeezing the hand that's still in mine.
Madelyn comes running up, a renewed ball of energy completely oblivious as to what's just happened.
"Blue Jay I found a penguin for everybody!" She says, three stuffed penguins in her arms that she's about to drop. "Ben can we get them? Pleeeeeease! They're fluffy look!" She holds a green one out to me and I take it.
"Alright but only because you were good today." I say with a smile.
She squeals excitedly, shoving a blue one at Jay and jumping up and down with her purple one. "I'm gonna name him Sprinkles!" She says, running over to place him on the counter.
I chuckle and gently tug Jay's hand, following her to the counter and adding our penguins.
We check out and take Madelyn back to the car, with her immediately passing out in the booster seat with her penguin as soon as I put her in.
I climb back into the driver's seat, looking over at Jay. He's spacing out, staring out the window, and I can tell he's still shaken up.
"Hey." I say, tapping his hand as I start the car.
"Hi." He says quietly.
I watch him for a moment. "Do you want to talk now?" I ask. He bites his lip and hesitates.
A/N
Hello guys, gals, and non-binary pals! This chapter took a little longer than expected but I made it a little longer to make up for it. I'm taking a little break, as my birthday is this weekend, but I have a few days off after midterms so hopefully that will give me some extra time to write. I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can (hopefully faster than a month haha sorry ð ). I appreciate you all ð
Much love,
C