A/N:
Okay so I know I kind of disappeared for like 2 months. (Oops, sorry about that.) I have still been writing; my time has just been divided between a few other things I've been working on as well. Hopefully I'll eventually put those on Wattpad too. Anyway, here's an update, and as always, thanks for reading :)
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I speed-dial my dad as we race across town in the ambulance. "Hey, Ben." He greets. "Wait. Is that an ambulance siren?"
"Yes. Jay keeps passing out and he can't keep much down. I'm thinking he's dehydrated and I just got really worried. Can you get a room ready?"
"Yes. Let me speak to one of the EMTs." I hand the phone over, explaining that my dad is one of the doctors. I switch my brain off the conversation and look down at Jay, who is still unconscious.
I can't help but feel a little guilty. If I'd somehow managed to get him to drink more, or hadn't left him alone, maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He stirs and blinks groggily. "Jay?" I whisper. He takes in his surroundings and his eyes widen with panic before I put a hand on his arm. His eyes find mine and he settles.
"What's?" He makes out. "You passed out again and you're probably dehydrated. We're going to go see my dad." He looks a little confused and drifts off again.
Jay's P. O. V.
I groggily open my eyes to an incessant beeping noise.
After blinking several times to adjust my eyes, I sit up with a start. Why am I in a hospital bed?
A hand gently lands on my arm and I look over to see Ben sitting beside me.
"Lay back down." He says, tugging me back towards the mattress. I can't help but follow his suggestion due to sudden dizziness that has the room spinning and my ears ringing.
I blink a few times as I wait for the fuzzy feeling to fade before speaking again.
"Why are we at the hospital?" I mumble, setting my gaze on him. His features scrunch together.
"You don't remember the ambulance ride?" He asks. I think for a moment but come up blank. "No," I say slowly.
He purses his lips. "What's the last thing you remember?" I close my eyes, trying to recall. "Mmm, I was in the bathroom, letting my guts escape."
I slide open my eyes again, looking over at Ben. His gaze has drifted off and he's lost in thought.
I take a moment to look down at all the wires and tubes they've attached to me. A tickle in the back of my throat sends me into a coughing fit so bad my eyes are watering and I can hardly breathe. Ben snaps into action and is rubbing my back as I try to catch my breath.
"Please try not to die on me." He jokes and I can't help but crack a smile. It drops off my face just as quickly when my stomach spins.
"Are you alright?" Ben asks with a concerned expression.
"Might need a bucket," I say, trying to hold back the contents of my stomach. He scrambles to grab the one sitting next to my bed and holds it out just in time.
I finish heaving and sit back with a heavy sigh. "Feel like crap," I mumble. "You're dehydrated and nutrient lacking. You haven't been drinking or eating enough." Ben tells me.
The room quiets and I feel his gaze on me. I look over to meet his eyes, but they quickly dart downward.
"I'm worried about you." He says quietly, twisting his fingers and biting his lip.
A pang of sadness rushes through my body at his expression, and I unconsciously reach a hand out and place it over his fidgeting fingers.
He looks up and I sharply suck in a breath at the way his beautiful green eyes shine with unshed tears.
He quickly looks away and blinks rapidly, not meeting my gaze. A shaky breath rattles into his lungs and he stands.
"I should go get my dad and let him know you're awake. I'll be back." He looks at me once more and bites his lip just before closing the door.
I turn to the window on the other side of the room, taking note of the beautiful weather. I close my eyes and can nearly feel the sensation of the sun's rays warming my soul.
What I wouldn't give to go for a run today, the breeze tickling my skin and only the sounds of my feet on the pavement. Even the burning of my lungs feels so real.
I snap my eyes open and sit up with a frown, steadying myself against the bed railing when the room spins. A harsh cough racks its way through my body and I struggle to catch my breath.
A few rattling gasps finally enter my lungs and I plop back against the bed, feeling suddenly lightheaded. Of course, Ben chooses that exact moment to enter the room again and immediately rushes over to me.
"Are you okay?" I shudder in a few breaths and nod, trying my best to look convincing even though I'm sure I'm failing miserably. He squints suspiciously at me.
"I'm fine." I croak and abruptly realize how much of a beating my throat has taken over the past couple of days.
He holds a glass of water out to me and I give him a dubious look. "It'll just make me feel nauseous again."
"It will help your throat though." He counters. I purse my lips and hesitantly take the cup from his outstretched hand, taking a few sips. I thrust it back as my stomach swirls. Ben wordlessly puts the bucket next to me just in case.
The door opens and I shift my gaze over to find Ben's dad entering. "Hey, guys. Sorry I took so long."
He pulls over a rolling stool and starts flipping through pages on a clipboard as he speaks. "How are we feeling?" I hesitate, wondering if I'm allowed to curse. "Horrible." I decide on.
He chuckles. "Fair enough. You should feel a bit better soon, you've got an IV that will help get your hydration and nutrient levels back to normal. However, we have a few other things to discuss." He puts the clipboard down on the edge of my bed and laces his fingers together.
"I'm sure you and Ben already discussed a while ago that I would like to run tests. I think now would be a good opportunity to do so, but I'll let you guys discuss."
He rises and strides to the door, looking back at Ben. "Come find me when you've made your decision." The door shuts with a click and I unclench the fists I subconsciously formed out of nervousness.
I let out a deep sigh and ignore the pain that suddenly strikes through my chest. "What do you think?" Ben says softly.
"I think..." A cough racks through my body, interrupting me. I struggle to catch my breath and catch a look of concern on Ben's face.
"Try sitting up further. Maybe it will help clear your airways." I wiggle up the back of the bed and close my eyes for a few seconds as I concentrate on my breathing.
When I open them again I meet his worried, green-eyed gaze. "I'm fine," I reassure, waving off whatever he's about to say.
He's concerned enough, he doesn't need to know that my lungs are burning and my head is thumping.
"I think... we should just do the tests now. I'm already here and I might as well get them over with." I decide.
I blink my eyes in quick succession to ward off the exhaustion I've been fighting. He places a gentle hand on my arm and I pretend I can't hear the beeping of my heart monitor speeding up from the close contact.
"Okay. I'll go let my dad know; I'll be right back." He gets up and walks across the room, but before he can even shut the door my body's tiredness takes over and I drift off.
When my eyes open again, Ben has returned to my side and is absentmindedly staring out the window.
I let my eyes drift over his messy brown hair and the tired expression on his face. He sits slightly hunched over with his face resting in his palm.
His normally bright green eyes have taken on a faraway look and the dark circles under his eyes indicate just how much rest he's really gotten.
My gaze drifts lower to the worn jean jacket he always seems to be wearing. It's then that I also notice just how loosely his shirt hangs on him.
"Ben?" I whisper, and he jumps. "Oh, hi there. I didn't realize you were awake." He says sheepishly, and I can't help but smile fondly.
"How are you feeling?" He asks. I take a moment to assess myself before answering.
"Mostly just tired." I pause, trying to come up with a way to make sure his worried look won't come back for a while.
"You know, sitting in a hospital bed is a lot of hard work." I joke. His face lights up with a grin as he chuckles.
His expression shifts to a more serious one as he says, "They said they'd start on the tests when you wake up again, can you push that call button?"
He points at the wall near me and I tilt my head slightly so I can see before smacking it loudly.
"I think that should've done the trick." He smirks.
"Anyway, I'm not supposed to be here while they do tests, so I'll be back in a few hours. My dad said he'd text me when they're done." Ben tells me.
I nod as he gets up and heads over to the door. My nerves must be showing on my face, because just before he closes it he reminds me, "Just a few hours and I'll be back."
He smiles and closes the door, leaving me to sit alone in the silence, awaiting the testing that will find out what's wrong with me.
Ben's P.O.V
I close the door behind me, taking a deep breath to compose myself as I leave.
My brain has been racing with worry a hundred miles a minute ever since he passed out in my arms on the bathroom floor.
I thought maybe things would get better, but after day after day of pushing the worst of his symptoms to the back of my mind, I'm finding that I'm now at the verge of a breakdown.
I unlock my car and climb in, inhaling a shaky breath as I slump against the seat. I should probably call Alexa, Devon, and Emerson to let them know what's going on, but it feels like if I speak a single sentence my voice will crack and the dam will break.
I take a moment to temporarily compose myself enough to drive home, then start the car. I quickly flick on the radio as a distraction from the piling thoughts and try to turn my focus solely on the road, even though I'm falling apart at the seams.
The sky has just begun to tint toward the dark end of the spectrum, a lazy orange eating up the sky. A few cars travel here and there, but the number of streetlights that have flicked on outnumbers them.
I finally pull up to my apartment and suddenly realize that I'm crying. When did that happen?
I absentmindedly wipe the tears off my face and continue to my apartment.
I manage to glide the key into the lock and open the door to a dark, quiet room. Even as I flick on the lights the silence and emptiness seems especially prominent.
It's funny how it's never bothered me before, but now is the leading thought in my mind.
All my thoughts are beginning to blur together into one conglomerate sense of concern, loneliness, and sadness, but I decide to at least attempt to make some supper to bring over to him for when he's done with the testing.
I pull out the things to make a chicken pot pie and realize that my hands are shaking as I try to open the biscuits. I slam my palms on the counter with a frustrated sigh.
How am I supposed to help him if I can't do anything about what he's facing? I know they haven't even completed the tests yet, but there's a nagging feeling in my gut that things are only going to get worse.
Maybe it came from night after night of scouring internet articles for him, but if my hunch is correct, things are about to reach a whole new level of difficult.