Chapter 21: ✤Chapter Ninteen✤

❁Kayla❁

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I thought taking Dr. Clark's advice would help when I decided to meet with Stephanie, but all we ended up talking about were her plans after college and how hard life had been with her stepmother and dad since her older siblings moved out.

I'd hoped to tell Dr. Clark I'd made some progress, but last week was worse. I could barely think—my mind was racing a hundred miles an hour most of the time, and staying focused felt impossible.

I wanted to take a break, but I couldn't. I had to push through until winter break because of the two weeks I'd already missed.

I sat on the comfortable sofa in Dr. Clark's office, nervously playing with the hem of my top as she patiently waited for me to speak. My gaze wandered, fixating on anything in the room but her. I stared at the beautifully framed artwork of a serene sunset over the beach. It reflected peace and tranquility—everything I felt I lacked at the moment.

Dr. Clark gently pulled me out of my thoughts by saying my name, her voice calm but firm, demanding I focus on why we were here.

She'd been encouraging me to share what was on my mind during our sessions rather than waiting for her to ask questions.

"I...I wanted to talk about my father," I said hesitantly, my voice barely above a whisper.

Dr. Clark leaned forward slightly, her expression gentle and encouraging. "And what about your father, Kayla?"

I swallowed hard, my fingers twisting the hem of my top. "He left when I was little. I mean, he was around physically, but emotionally...he wasn't there. He walked away from us—like we didn't matter. It's hard to explain, but it made me feel like I wasn't enough."

Her nod was subtle, inviting me to continue.

"I guess it's why I struggle to let people in, you know? I always feel like...like they'll leave. When I'm in a relationship, I overthink everything, constantly second-guessing if I'm good enough or if they'll get tired of me and just disappear. It's exhausting."

Dr. Clark's expression softened further. "That's a heavy weight to carry, Kayla. Do you think these fears have kept you from forming the connections you want?"

I bit my lip, trying to find the words. "Yes. It's like I'm stuck in this cycle—I either push people away because I'm scared they'll hurt me, or I cling too tightly, and it drives them off anyway. I don't know how to trust...how to feel safe with someone staying."

"You're aware of the pattern," Dr. Clark said kindly, "and that's a good place to start. It's not easy to unlearn these things, but you're here, and that shows your strength. Let's work on building that trust—both in yourself and in others."

I nodded, a small flicker of hope lighting up amidst the heaviness.

Dr. Clark smiled warmly, breaking the heavy silence. "You've made great progress today, Kayla. Opening up about something so deeply personal takes courage."

I nodded slightly, my gaze still on my hands. "It felt...hard, but I guess it needed to come out."

She rose from her chair, handing me a small pamphlet. "Take this home. It has a few exercises to help you process and reflect before our next session."

"Thank you," I said quietly as I stood. Leaving the office, I felt lighter—like I'd taken a step forward.

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After my session today, I found myself returning to my old habit of reading, hoping that escaping into a fictional world might help me forget my troubles.

The book was a soft romance I had bought a year ago but never had the time to read. The setting was peaceful, and every description—the small gestures, the heartfelt words—brought me back to one person...Laurent.

At that moment, I decided I was done hiding behind excuses like "I can't commit." I wanted love, the kind that Rosemarie felt for her lover. And I wanted that with Laurent.

For too long, I let my father's abandonment and the chaos he left behind shape how I approached relationships. But maybe it was time to let go of that pain and believe in the possibility of love for myself.

I closed the book for a moment, staring at the soft illustration of Rosemarie and her lover on the cover. My chest felt tight, but not in a painful way—it was as though something inside me had clicked. I wasn't just daydreaming anymore. I wanted this, and I wanted it with Laurent.

For a fleeting second, the thought of our age gap crossed my mind. But what did it matter? He made me feel alive, and I was ready to stop holding back. This time, I'd let myself fall.

My phone buzzed, snapping me out of my thoughts. I sighed and picked it up.

"Hey, Steph, what's up?" I asked.

"Hi! Sorry if this is a bad time, but I went back to Blossom Brew to study."

"The café?"

"Um... duh! Guess what happened?"

I stood up from my reading chair, bracing for her dramatic reveal. "What?"

"I got a free drink. Again!"

"Seriously?" I asked, laughing.

"Yeah! Unbelievable, right? I hope it's from the same person."

"You and your secret admirer," I teased.

"Or... it could be a psycho stalking me."

"Steph, really?"

"No, but imagine! What if I go missing because I accepted free drinks from a stranger?"

"Relax, just be careful, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks, though. Bye!"

"Bye," I said, but she'd already hung up.

It was really strange to think that something like that could happen twice in such a short time. I really hoped that these actions were harmless.

I was about to go back to my reading when my phone rang again. This time, it wasn't Stephanie—it was Henry.

"Oh, hey, Henry. What's up?"

"Hey, Kay, are you free right now to meet up?"

"Meet up?" I frowned in surprise, a laugh escaping me. "You're in New York?"

"Yeah, I got here this morning," he said. I was curious why he was here and why he hadn't told me he was coming.

"You didn't tell me you were coming. Why the sudden visit?" I asked.

"I just wanted to surprise my little sis. I have a lot to tell you."

"Ok, I know a cozy place where we can meet. Give me a sec." I put the call on hold I quickly typed out the address of a small restaurant I liked and sent it to him.

"You should have the adress now, I just sent it to you" I said as I came back to the call.

"See you".

"Yeah, see you," he replied.

I quickly got ready, swapping out my cozy pajamas for something presentable. I had planned to end my day immersed in a fictional world, my thoughts drifting to Laurent, but clearly, my evening had taken a different turn.

As I stepped into the little restaurant, the warm scent of fresh food and spices enveloped me. My eyes scanned the room until I spotted Henry seated at a corner table. His face lit up when he saw me.

"Hey, Kay," he greeted, standing up.

"Hey," I replied, smiling. Henry pulled me into a tight hug, his comforting embrace. I sighed, sinking into the warmth his presence brought.

"How did you get here so fast?" I asked as I slid into the chair opposite him.

"I wasn't far," he replied casually.

"This place is pretty great. Good pick," he added, settling into his chair with ease.

"Thanks," I said, leaning back as the server placed a glass of water in front of him. The nervous energy I'd felt earlier began to fade, replaced by a sense of familiar comfort.

"Everything okay?" he asked, his eyes scanning me with gentle concern.

"Yeah, just... a lot's been happening," I admitted, shaking my head slightly.

"It's hard to get back to normal, huh?" he said knowingly, his tone carrying both understanding and a hint of sympathy.

"Yeah, I've had a really hard time adapting, and my emotions have been all over the place." Talking to my brother always felt grounding—he was the one person who truly understood what I was going through. Maybe Dr. Clark was right.

Henry's expression softened as he reached across the table, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. "You don't have to go through it alone, you know."

"So, what's the big news?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as I shifted the conversation. Henry showing up unannounced always meant something was up.

He chuckled, a little uneasy. "Well, I came to see my favorite sister, for one. But there's more. It's about the family."

My smile faded as I leaned forward. "What's going on? Are Kate and Brandon okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, they're fine. Kate moved in with me a few days ago, and Brandon moved in with his friends," he said, his tone carrying an undercurrent of sadness. "They both said staying there made them miss Mom even more than they already did."

"What about the house? Is it just going to stay empty?" I asked, leaning forward.

"I was just about to talk to you about that," Henry said, a hint of hesitation in his voice.

"What? What's going on?"

"Well..." He hesitated, then muttered, "I was thinking about renting it."

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