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I was so preoccupied with fixing my own mistake that I hadn't even realized Henry had been out of the house all day. It wasn't until he stormed in, slamming the door aggressively behind him, that I finally noticed him for the first time.
"I didn't even know he was gone," I thought.
I got up from the couch in the living room and followed him into the kitchen. There, I found him grabbing a bottle of beer from the fridge. He opened the cap effortlessly and sat down at the breakfast table.
By the way he moved and acted, I could tell something was weighing heavily on his mind.
"Are you okay?" I asked, sitting down across from him.
He looked at me for a brief moment, as if deciding whether to share what was bothering him.
"I saw Dad today," he finally said. "We met and talked."
The instant those words left his mouth, my mood shifted to match his.
"What... what did you two talk about?" I asked, my heart rate quickening.
"He just wanted to talk about stuff, you know..." His response was vague, like he didn't want to fully dive into what they discussed.
I didn't want to push him. If he wanted to tell me more, he would, but he had a right to keep it to himself.
We sat there in an awkward silence that stretched on, and eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to break the tension...it was becoming unbearable.
"I'm going back to New York next week."
His head snapped up, eyes wide, as if he hadn't expected me to leave so soon.
"Next week is in three days, Kay!" he snapped, frustration clear in his voice.
"I know," I replied, trying to keep calm, "but I have to go back for work. I need you to understand that returning to my normal life will help me. It's the only way I can start getting over all of this."
"Kayla, keeping yourself busy with work won't help you heal, and it definitely won't make you forget that Dad's trying to get back into our lives...and he's not giving up." His words hit me hard, echoing the truth I'd been pushing aside since I woke up this morning.
He was right. Work wouldn't make me forget or heal, but at least it would give me something to hold onto...something that felt worth my time and energy.
"Henry, why are you reacting like this? It's not like I'm staying here forever. You've got your own life to get back to, too."
"I know that, Kay, but I hoped we'd stick together until we figured out what he really wants. You know Kate's still a minor, and I'm scared he'll take her away. What if she doesn't want to stay here with Brandon, and... and what if I..." His words trailed off as he sighed in frustration.
At that moment, I realized how selfish I had been. I hadn't considered their well-being or how I was dumping all this responsibility on him, forcing him to make decisions that could alter his life.
"Henry, I'm sorry, you're right," I said, standing up and walking toward him. He was pacing the room, visibly stressed and frustrated. "I'm sorry," I whispered as I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug.
He looked like, out of the four of us, he was the one struggling the most to process everything because we were all cowardly dumping these big decisions on him.
When he finally hugged me back, his body started trembling with sobs. It was the first time I'd seen him cry since Mom died, since Dad left. Even though it broke my heart, I knew this was what he needed, so I held him tight, rubbing his back.
We stayed like that until, eventually, he decided to pull away.
Henry wiped his face with the back of his hand, trying to regain composure. His eyes were red, but there was a weight lifted, as if finally releasing those emotions had eased some of his burden. I didn't say anything. I just gave him space, watching as he took a few deep breaths.
"I just don't want to screw this up," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"You won't," I reassured him, offering a soft smile. "We'll figure this out together. I'm not going anywhere...not really. I know I have to leave for New York, but that doesn't mean I'm abandoning you, Brandon or Kate. I'll be here when you need me, just a call away. This is still our family, and I'm still a part of it, no matter where I am. We'll face this together, and I'll make sure you're not carrying all this on your own."
I could see a hint of relief in his eyes as the tension between us slowly dissolved.
"I'm sorry Kay, I didn't mean to make you feel guilty, it's just that..." He sighed, trailing off again, unable to finish his sentence.
Since I've known him, Henry has never struggled to express himself. Seeing him like this...at a loss for words...hurts me deeply. It's painful because I realize I don't fully understand the weight of what he's going through, and I don't know how to help.
"So," he said in his gruff voice, "which day are you leaving?" His eyes fixed on me as he sat down across the table.
"Let's not focus on that right now, okay?" I replied, trying to ease the tension. "How about we focus on Kate's situation first?"
He nodded, visibly relieved, the tension melting from his face.
We waited until dinner to bring up the subject. We wanted Kate to be part of the decision-making process, to give her a choice and time to mentally prepare.
To my surprise, Kate kept a smile on her face throughout the conversation, and the level of understanding and maturity she displayed stunned me. I had expected her to be upset at the idea of changing homes during her last year of high school, but she took the news far better than I had predicted.
Henry and I hadn't figured out the exact details of where she would go yet, but Brandon stepped in, offering his help and support. His involvement gave us a much-needed sense of relief amidst the uncertainties swirling around us.
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A week later.
A week later, I was back in New York, preparing to teach again at the university. The trip was shorter this time, but I was already starting to miss my siblings. As I settled back into my New York routine, the ache of their absence lingered, reminding me of how much I cherished our time together.
While running errands over the weekend, I spotted Laurent across the street. My heart raced at the sight of him, but doubt held me back. Should I approach him after everything that happened? I hesitated, torn between wanting to reconnect and the fear of rejection, so I simply watched as he walked away, feeling the weight of my unspoken feelings.
When the next week began, I felt both excited and nervous to return to teaching. I had my BM classes on Mondays, and it seemed soon, given that I was still regaining my composure. I discovered my request for an extra teaching day was approved, adding a Thursday class...great.
I needed to meet with the substitute professor to find out which topics he covered and where he had stopped.
Standing in front of my students after almost two weeks away wasn't so bad. Sure, I felt anxious, but I was confident I would do well.
Yet, one thing continued to nag at me...
Where was Laurent?
I haven't seen him in about three weeks now, and I was genuinely excited at the thought of seeing him again, even if it was just in a crowded auditorium full of people.
I have to admit to myself...I really, really missed him.
These thoughts were nagging at me more than I wanted to acknowledge, but there was no denying the feeling.
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