What was I going to do? I knew.... I was not going to tell anyone. I could keep this to myself. I knew I could.
"What the hell are you doing in there Melanie? Are you giving birth or something?" My mother laughed outside the bathroom. My heart immediately stopped. Did she already know, even before I discovered it? Who was I kidding, no one knew except me.
"Melanie are you okay?" My mother panicked on the other side of the door.
"I'm fine," I quickly replied, realising that I had been too caught up in my own mind to reply.
"I'm just emptying my stomach from the other end," I lied.
"Ew Mel! Too much information!" I heard Trevor chuckle on the other side of the door.
"Trevor what are you doing here?" I yelled, annoyed that my mother had not informed me that he was there.
"I came to check up on my beautiful princess, or do you not want me here?" He challenged and I could hear the smile on his lips, making me smile as well. I was in fact having his baby and I knew that he would be an excellent father to our child. Just the thought of having a piece of him in my stomach, make my body feel slightly weird, trying to scream out to him and tell him that he was going to be a dad. However, others already thought that the only reason he was marrying me was because I was knocked up and so I didnât want to encourage those ideas.
"Of course I want you here. Just one second," I called out, staring at the pregnancy test once more, before washing my hands and my face and staring at myself in the mirror. My long straight dark brown hair was tied up in a loose pony tail and my large light brown eyes looked tired and bored. My lips were turned up in a firm line, not expressing any emotion even though inside I was a mess of emotions. Brushing my teeth once again, I tried to figure out where I would put the test without anyone finding it.
"I'll meet you in the living room guys. I'm coming!" I instructed, needing to run to my bedroom to hide the pregnancy test. Placing it back in its box, after two minutes of waiting, I unlocked the door and sprinted to my bedroom, throwing the test where it had previously been.
Suddenly my mind travelled to a world of its own, allowing my thoughts to wander. I wondered what Stephen would say if he found out that I was pregnant. Would he still love me and try to win me back? Or would he give up on me and move away? The thought of him moving away and giving up took its toll on my heart as I realised the reality that now, we could never be together, unless he was willing to take on another man's child. Probably not. Would Trevor leave me if I announced that I was pregnant? We had never spoken about children before, in any of our conversations but he didn't seem to have anything against them either.
"I've been watching you for a good minute as you disappeared into a wonderland of your own. You didn't even hear me come in," Trevor's voice whispered in my ear as his arms wrapped around my body.
"How much did you see?" I asked, trying to keep myself calm as I anticipated his answer.
"Enough to know that you needed to get out of your own head. Your mum told me that you weren't feeling so good earlier. I hope your okay now," Trevor wondered, tucking his chin into the crook of my neck.
"Yeah, I'm fine and now that your here, I'm perfect," I stated, spinning around and placing my lips softly on his as the corny line slipped out of my lips. As normal, the kiss got a tiny bit heated and I pulled away giggling.
"My mum's in the next room. I think that we should calm down," I suggested, placing a hand on his chest as he tried to advance closer to me again.
"Actually I'm standing right here," My mother piped in and funnily enough, when I looked around Trevor, she was leaning casually against the door frame.
"I was just watching how in love you guys were. Don't mind me," She smiled with a weird look on her face. She was probably not exactly okay with watching her daughter and her soon to be son-in-law making out, which I understood.
Staying silent as her eyes continued to watch us, I pulled Trevor out of the room and to the living room where we spent the rest of our day, having fun and planning the wedding. My mother stayed around, much to Trevor's dislike, since he had made the fact that he wanted us to be alone very clear, however what could I do?
"I'll see you tomorrow babe?" Trevor hoped as I said goodbye to him, at my front door.
"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow," I agreed, smiling at his shyness which came out only once in a million months. Giving him a sweet kiss, I began to wonder how he would react to being a father. Satisfied with my thoughts, I stalked into my spare bedroom, as I had given my mother my room and once my body hit the bed, my stomach instantly growled. I guessed that this was what being pregnant did to you. Smiling once again at the idea of having a piece of Trevor inside of me, I skipped to the kitchen and fixed myself a grilled cheese sandwich and a hot chocolate filled with marshmallows. Feeling exhausted afterwards, I dragged my body to bed and slept like a baby.
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"So...." Stephen whispered in my ear from behind as I lay in between his legs, in his dorm room. His cool breath caressed my ear and I tried my hardest to suppress a shiver.
"So what?" I quizzed, wondering whether he was going to elaborate.
"So, do you like kids?" Stephen replied randomly. We had been sitting in a comfortable silence, playing with each others finger and I could only guess that that was what he had been thinking about.
"Yeah, but why are you asking me that?" I questioned, repositioning myself so that I could look at his face. His eyes stared right into mine showing no sense of shyness which was one of the ten thousand things that I loved about him.
"Because since we're going to be together for a very long time, which I guarantee, I was wondering whether you would like children." Stephen explained.
"Would like children with whom?" I joked, giggling as he rolled his eyes and pulled me closer, so that our noses were almost touching.
"Me. In fact even if we aren't together, which won't happen, I wouldn't like the idea of you having a child with anyone but me, to be honest." Stephen informed me, his jaw clenching slightly as his arms tightened around me a bit.
"But if we're not together then you'd have probably have forgotten about me," I stated, looking down at my hands as my heart clenched at the idea of him not being near or with me anymore. I would probably kill myself, or will at least be depressed for a very long time.
"I could never forget about you, even if I tried," Stephen assured, lifting my chin up before placing his soft lips on mine softy, my body instantly lighting up from such small contact. As usual, his lips were removed from mine too quickly and in the moment I gave him another super quick peck which made him chuckle.
"Now back to children," Stephen reminded me, trying to push away a sense of sadness.
"How many children do you want?" I asked. I had initially wanted two to four children as I wasn't too bothered.
"I want a million if it means that I will be inside you most of the time," Stephen smirked playfully as I hit his hard chest gently. I wasn't sure whether he was referring to the making of the children or the baby inside of me but I really didn't mind, as long as he was in my future.
"Do you have any idea what that would do to my body?" I laughed.
"Your body will be fine. It'll spring right back to its normal sexy shape," Stephen predicted, allowing his eyes to roam my body causing my hear beat to increase dangerously, as his hands continued to warm up my body and leave tingles where ever he touched.
"I hope so," I grinned as he spun us over so that I was pinned beneath him.
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Waking up in the morning to my mother's voice as my alarm for work, I groaned and obeyed her command only to end up throwing up again in the toilet.
"Maybe you shouldn't go to work. You might have food poisoning from something that you ate at lunch," my mother insisted, already walking around with my phone in her hand.
"Mummy don't worry, I'll be fine?" I lied attempting to snatch my phone out of her hand and failing.
"Its too late," she huffed, placing the phone to her ear. To be honest, I didn't feel in the best of moods and my body seemed to reflect that. The dream I had wasn't very great, since it had brought back many unwanted feelings. Now lying down on my sofa, I heard my mother's foot steps getting louder and louder as she approached me.
"It's done and Jennifer, just text you saying that she wanted to meet up today," she informed me, being nosy as always. Taking my phone out of her hand and trying my hardest not to glare at her, I re-read the message and quickly replied, telling her to meet me at my house instead.
"I'm going to head back today, so that I can go back to work. I mean, I don't want to be broke when it comes to buying a dress for your wedding in two weeks. Just keep safe and well and I'll see you next week," My mother stated, giving me a soft, warm hug before leaving me alone in my apartment.
Around one in the afternoon, Jennifer decided to make an appearance on my door step.
"Oh my gosh, you look terrible. I'm glad that I came now," Jennifer cooed as I retreated back to my seat on the sofa.
"Gee thanks. You see I only invited you to tell me how bad I looked Jennifer, thanks for coming," I growled annoyed; the hormones probably starting to take toll.
"You know that I'm not trying to be mean. Is it the wedding troubles? If anything, let me help you with it," Jennifer insisted, apologising softly.
"No, don't worry, I'm just a little under the weather and thanks, you could actually do a thing or two." I replied, slightly surprised by her kindness.
"I didnât come to talk to you about the wedding to be honest. I wanted to tell you something that I donât think you realised at the dinner," Jennifer began, taking a seat opposite me and turning off the TV.
"Wow, I guess this must be serious," I attempted to joke, only to receive a look of annoyance in return.
"When I and Jasmine were speaking to you, we asked you what you love about Trevor and Stephenâ¦" Jennifer reminded me and I nodded in agreement.
"Donât you get it? We asked you what you love about Stephen and you didnât correct us," Jennifer repeated, making me confused. After a minute of repeating what she had said over and over again in my head, I realised my mistake. They had asked what I love about him, not loved and I hadnât corrected them.
"Are you sure that you're making the right choice? I mean, if you still love Stephen after all of this time and he seems to return the feelings, doesnât that show you something?" Jennifer suggested.
"No, it shows me nothing. I have moved on and it was just a simple misunderstanding. I donât think that I was really listening to what you guys were saying," I defended.
"Come off it Mel, I'm sure you knew exactly what we were saying. To this day, you still get upset and cry over what he did to you. If you were really over it, then you wouldnât do that. It's not normal!" Jennifer yelled in frustration.
"Stop shouting in my house!" I shouted in response. Glaring at her as she sat her ground, I tried not to take her words to heart but they had hurt. She had said that I was not normal, but I was. Wasnât I?
"All I'm saying is that you should spend one day, or even one hour with Stephen, to see if you're not going to regret marrying Trevor. I'm trying to help you Melanie," She pleaded, taking my feelings and future into account which I should have appreciated.
"I cant," I choked, feeling stupid that I had not rephrased it any better.
"What do you mean you can't?" Jennifer frowned, the look of progression wiping off her face.
"I promised Trevor that I'd stay away from Stephen, otherwise he would call off the wedding," I explained, placing my head down.
"I should kill that motherfucker." She hissed quietly, except not quiet enough.
"What he doesnât know wont hurt him," Jennifer smirked after a minute of silence.
"I'm not sure Jenni," I cowered, scared of getting caught. I couldnât loose Trevor over a silly inkling that Jennifer had, even though it could partly be true. I admit it. I did still love Stephen but he had hurt me and hadnât yet given me a reason for my pain and so I couldnât forgive him.
"C'mon Mel. What are you scared of? Are you scared that I'd be right?" Jennifer challenged, her usual evil personality shinning through once again.
"Fine, if you really want me to show you that I'm more in love with Trevor, I'll do it. Tell me where and when." I retorted, beginning to get irritated by her tone.
"I have always liked him better anyways," Jennifer shrugged.
"Now, onto more girly things since the seriousness is over," She added, wiping the invisible sweat off her dry, smooth forehead as a grin appeared on her lips.
"I met this guy yesterday. He tried to get my number and due to his charming words and looks, I gave it to him, but he hasnât called me yet. Do you think he'll call me?" Jennifer pouted.
Here we go.