Chapter 4: Chapter 3

I awoke to still silence. A starch white ceiling was the first thing I saw, blinding in its intensity. Above me, a single lightbulb hung, unlit. I blinked in confusion. Where was I? Trying to move on the soft mattress beneath me, I stop, sudden, shooting pain echoing within the inner walls of my organs. Then, everything comes rushing through my mind all at once.

I remembered pine trees surrounding me like tall, unforgiving soldiers and the cold fog hanging around me; all the sensory details came back. But most vibrant in my memories was the image of fellow pack members acting as vicious and hungry for blood of coyotes - and Riely’s cold, dark mahogany eyes promising I would rot alone in the depths of this forest. At that moment, as I lay on the packed earth, rocks beneath me gentle compared to the hits pounding upon my like a curtain of rain, I really expected it to be my last moment. I truly thought I would become one with the dirt and the worms and the roots and the herbs my mother collected for her healing tinctures.

Slowly taking in my surroundings, I almost couldn’t believe I survived. If it weren’t for the rows of cots on either side of me, I would have thought I’d died to awakened in a white heaven with comfortable bedding. That would have been enough for me; I had simple desires. As it turned out, I was in the pack’s medical hall, currently devoid of anyone, not even a healer. The large room held over two hundred beds, for patients who were close to discharge. The intensive care and surgery units were kept on the upper floors. While natural herbal medicine was still practiced throughout our pack, we still thought having more modern medical facilities available was necessary.

My would were bandaged professionally and felt clean, not like when I often tried to do it myself. Although my face stung in several places, I could still move my jaw. Relieved, I closed my heavy lids and took a deep breath.

Then, I realized something odd. It was strange why I didn’t figure out where I was immediately. After all, it wasn’t my first time here, (if only) and medical facilities always had such a strong, clinical scent that werewolves could smell from a mile away. Rather, all I could smell was the scent of rain and cedarwood, with a hint of smoke. It was a comforting, masculine aroma, but I had not come across anything like it. It seemed to fill my senses, like strong arms wrapped around me. Perhaps it was the person who brought me here, or one of the healers, and the scent somehow managed to stuck to me. It was befuddling, but that was the only guess I could give.

Besides, I reveled in the nice smell. I could almost pretend someone was sitting beside me, giving me company while I recuperated. Although I was used to being alone, sometimes the gravity of it weighed down my heart. It was a raw, inner feeling, but consciously I wasn’t sad. Not when I knew in my heart that I had Thelma. Soon, she’d be back from her reconnaissance mission, and I could lay my heart open for her, complain about big things and small, insignificant things, and gossip. She would tell me the most abhorrent or ridiculous stories that happened on the job, and I would laugh and marvel and grow excited at the prospect of joining her. My time was close.

Thelma took great honor in her position - she was one of the most talented her age, incredibly competent whenever she went out on a mission. Stealth was her proficiency, but she also excelled at diplomacy due to her bright, enigmatic energy. However, it wasn’t her pure, unconditional kindness, but rather the fact that she gave people a chance that I gravitated towards her.

I remember first seeing her during pack meetings at Dane’s house. Of course, I wasn’t a part of them, I simply tended to be in the background, wiping tables, cleaning, serving food, and making myself as scarce as possible. Never did I get a chance to speak with the vivacious blonde because she was always surrounded by people. Everyone was attracted to her, a bright fairy in their midst.

One day, though - I would never forget - I was refilling one of a pack member’s drinks when a someone kicked my inner knees, making me collapse. With me, the drink fell and the cup spilled all over the pack member I was serving, creating a sticky puddle spreading beneath me. A violent slap threw my face to the side.

“What a useless bitch. Are you waiting for pay before you start doing your job?” The young man snarled. “You’re a slave, not hired help.”

Tears burned my eyes, but I refused to cry. Someone from behind me said, “Maybe she needs some training like real dog. Hey Vera, this is a wolf pack, find a kennel elsewhere.”

The group in the living space broke out into guffaws, the laughter feeling muffled in my own head. I didn’t want to hear it. Not just because I didn’t deserve it, but because I didn’t want to consider its truth. I didn’t belong here.

“Why don’t you shut your trap, Jack,” a voice like soft bells rang out, unfamiliar in its aggressiveness. In surprise, I turned to find Thelma coming nearer, looking like a furious queen despite her size. A glare was set on her delicate features as she stared down Jack, the guy who’d made the joke. Swiveling to the pack member before me, whose drink I dropped, she said, “And why don’t you pour your own glass Harold, you’re twenty-two for crying out loud. I didn’t know we were raising lazy assholes in this pack. What would our ancestors say? What would the Moon Goddess think? You’re pathetic.” Stunned, Harold could only stammer soundlessly.

Thelma then leaned down and hooked an arm around mine. Helping me up, she guided me to the bathroom and cleaned me up.

“What’s your name? I haven’t seen you before,” Thelma asked while she wringed my shirt out. Her round blue eyes regarding my angular shoulders and scars running along my exposed upper body.

“Vera,” I said, voice raspy. “I don’t go out much.”

She brightened. “Oh, you’re Vera, Alpha Dane’s granddaughter. I’ve heard of you.”

I awaited her disgust, but none came. Confused, I continued to stare at her cluelessly. Did she not know what I had done, or was she pretending not to know? Did she not care?

“I’m Thelma Gardner, training to be a high-ranked reconnaissance wolf when I turn eighteen.” She stuck out her hand to me. I hesitated, waiting for the punchline, but finally took her hand weakly. She had a firm grip as she shook my hand.

“Uh, nice to meet you...” I said softly, and it was.

“Until we get our wolves, hopefully I’ll see you during cleaning duty,” she made a face. Cleaning duty was what most underage wolves got as one of their civil responsibilities. Little did she know that cleaning duties were my life’s work.

I finally smiled, daring to wonder if I’d found a new friend. “I hope so too.”

Unfortunately, I hadn’t seen her for weeks after that, so a friendship was out of the question. It wasn’t until one day that I heard Dane booming in anger. The sponge fell from my hand to the bathroom floor as I winced. Whenever I heard a commotion, I wondered if it was something I did. It became a defense mechanism. I ran through all the things I did recently, trying to find if there was anything Dane would take issue with. Nope, none I could think of.

Tip-toeing to the doorway, I peered around, having a narrow view of the front hall where Dane stood in his tall, sturdy build before a shaking messenger.

“Who the hell didn’t stock the healing supplies in the medical storage room?!” He yelled, pounding on a side-table near him.

“I-I don’t know, sir,” the messenger seemed to be rearranging his glasses far too much. “But the soldiers who survived the mission are in critical condition. They need aid now.”

“Go, and send three of the fastest teams to all the apothecaries in the town and get those supplies there! If I lose any of my top wolves, mark my words, I will raise hell. And I want to know who neglected to the one of the most vital tasks this month?”

“Uh, I think it was a Velma - no a Thelma, sir?”

My heart sank in my chest. Thelma couldn’t have forgotten such an essential task. Every month, someone was in charge of restocking the medical supplies. I personally loved doing it, but it required a lot of work and management with various apothecaries and natural healers to keep the pack’s main medical facility ready for any emergency. And it seemed that a some top pack members had just returned from a mission and needed attention immediately. I bit my lip nervously. This was bad.

Before I knew it, I found myself doing the unthinkable.

I stepped out of the bathroom, forgetting about the cleaning session. I didn’t go past the living area. “Alpha,” I called out to him, voice feeble. He fully appeared from the front hall, gray brows furrow over sinister black eyes, hand stroking his sharply tailored beard.

“Can’t you see I’m busy? This better be important,” he growled, staring down at me like I was a bug he needed to step on. The urge to run filled my every pore.

“Uh...the truth is....” I started.

His eyes gleamed like pools under a night sky. “Get. On. With. It.”

I took a deep breath. “The medical supplies,” I said quietly. “It was me. It was my turn this week, even though in the records it says Thelma. I switched turns with her because my assigned week was...inconvenient for me. But I completely lost track of things... and I didn’t mean to. Please, please forgive me.” I tried to look as pathetic as possible. Who knew pretending to confess to making a mistake took so much effort to make it look convincing?

Eerie silence filled the next moments. I felt I couldn’t breath, and hardly dared to look up at Dane. Then, his shadow slowly stepped into my line of vision on the beige carpeting.

When he spoke, his deep, rumbly voice was dangerously soft.

Later, she told me she’d been on her way, dreadfully fearing the Alpha’s reaction. But when she entered the hall and heard the sound of smacking flesh, she stopped, peeking around the corner. All she could see was Dane swinging his powerful arm, corded with muscle and decades of werewolf training, at his tiny sliver of a granddaughter. In horror, she stood frozen as he picked me up and threw me down repeatedly. She’d heard his words too and realized that I had lied for her, acting as a scapegoat for her error.

I was getting tired of her expressing her guilt for the situation.

“It was my choice,” I always told her vehemently. “I chose to protect you, and it’s one of the few things I haven’t regretted.” Without a doubt - and I never told her this - I would die for Thelma.

With thoughts of friendship, a warm feeling filled my chest and lulled me into a restful sleep.

A hand wrapping around mine brought me back from the depths of my consciousness. Immediately the scent informed me of who it was: Thelma was back. She was back! Excitedly, my lashes fluttered open, eyes blinking to see the girl in question beside me.

“I’ve brought you something,” she smiled sadly, the freckles on her face rippling. From the satchel slung across her front, she unearthed something wrapped in old newspaper. I knew exactly what it was. I slowly sat up, a moan escaping me as my injuries complained at the motion. Thelma’s palm supported my back, propping up the pillow behind me so I could ease myself into a sitting position.

Thelma laid the gift on my lap. Tentatively, I unwrapped it, revealing a long, dried, ash-white bone. My hands shook as I wiped a bit of dirt off with my thumb. It was a bone from the Pit of Shame. At the border between Mount Hunter and Beartown lay a primitive cemetary for the victims of the Battle: a haphazardly dug, shallow hole in which our pack’s dead were buried, without respect or dignity. Beartown Pack must’ve dragged the fallen bodies there, stacked them upon each other, and threw dirt upon them. It was all a vulgar show of dominance, meant to humilate us. Thinking about it turned my vision blood-red.

The moment I learned of the Pit of Shame, I simply had to have my parents’ remains back. They never got an actual funeral, and I never got a chance for closure. They need to be here, buried on their pack’s land. I’d planned to find them when I turned. When Thelma found out, though, she insisted.

“This is the least I can do, Vera,” she had said one night, before going off on her first mission. “I’m going to find the Pit, and I will bring your parents home.”

Since then on, when she had a chance while on-duty, she took a quick stop at the Pit and scoured the grave for bones that still had the faded scents of my kin. It was hard to track down long-dead things, but Thelma was one of the best. Especially as a wolf. So far, I had collected a good amount that I hid in a chest beneath my bed, my mother’s and father’s bones separated.

This bone, which looked as long as a femur’s, was my mother’s. I turned to Thelma, my eyes threatening to shed tears. I smiled with a gratitude I couldn’t fully express. “Thank you so much, Thelma.”

“Oh, you!” she threw her arms around me, loosening her hung only when I winced from pain. “Oops, sorry. But seriously, you’re so welcome. It was a piece of cake. Sniffing through all the bones doesn’t even bother as much anymore.”

I grimaced at the thought, then pushed it away. Wrapping up the bone again, I hid in under my clothes. I told her, “I’m just glad you’re back. I have so much to tell you.”

“So do I! Oh what a mission this was,” she exclaimed, her short hair bouncing. “But first - how do you feel? I don’t think I have to ask to figure out what happened. Either Dane or Reily and his twerps.”

“It was the latter,” I confirmed. I made some movements with my bandaged arms. “And I can move a lot easier than before. I’m pretty sure I can walk. Not that I have a choice. Dane would kill me if I don’t get home early tonight.”

A look of sharp, flashing anger passed through Thelma’s eyes. “Do or don’t, he’d find any reason to kill you. That asshole.”

“Shh, you don’t want anyone to hear you badmouthing the alpha!” I whisper-shouted.