Chapter 12: Chapter 11

The night was not chilly, but my body felt half feverish half chilly as I trekked through the forest. The trees cast long shadows under the moonlight. My backpack of goods was slung over my shoulder, slightly heavy with the amount of bottles of alcohol. The trip to the border wouldn’t take more than a half hour, but with how sluggish I was feeling, I might take a bit longer. I hoped not. Willing my legs to work harder, I walked faster, avoiding rocks as best as I could. Despite my night vision, the shift symptoms were making me feel all out of sorts.

Dark forests didn’t scare me, although it sometimes felt like something was watching me or following me. Surely it was just the rustle of the trees, the moving shadows, and some innocent critter roaming around. Our pack’s territory was generally safe, so I wasn’t too worried.

Once I reached the border, I looked around, praying Thelma would pick up on my scent and sought me out. I had gone the direction that she mentioned she’d be posted, to the east of our pack. Being someone who normally took her work seriously, Thelma never missed a thing while on duty.

I waited a bit, placing my bag at my feet. My shoulder ached slightly.

A few minutes passed before a whip of wind rushed passed me and Thelma appeared before me. As small as she was, she became a ball of speed when she ran, even when human. Her features were slightly pale under the moon’s light, blue eyes glowing like sapphire crystals, blonde hair looking white. A half surprised, half ecstatic expression lit her visage, and she threw her arms around me. “Vera, oh my god, you’re really here! What...how?” She leaned back to stare at me questioningly.

I couldn’t hold back a grin as I answered. “Well, I know how much we really wanted to spend this night together... so I thought, why should your pack duties stop us? So I came here so we can have a little makeshift party...”

“A makeshift party for your first shift,” she repeated, feigning a thoughtful expression as she stroked her chin. “I love it!”

A laugh bubbled out of my throat. Leaning down, I unclasped my bag and took out a big blanket, spreading it on a bed of leaves and rocks. Then, I began taking out all the goods: chips, chocolate, cookies, cut fruit, a random bottle of whipped cream (definitely Thelma’s idea), and the drinks, a 6-can pack of beer. It looked like a nice picnic at midnight, under the watch of the moon, in the middle of the forest.

Thelma plopped down on the striped blanket. “You brought all the stuff we planned. Nice thinking...” she paused, disappointment befalling her face. “But I can’t drink tonight. On duty, remember?”

“Oh,” I said. I couldn’t believe I forgot. I reached over to put the bottles back in the bag. “I guess we won’t be needing these then.” Suddenly, Thelma’s hand wrapped around my outstretched arm.

“Wait. I can’t, but what’s stopping you? You’re going to black out from the shift anyway, you may as well get black-out drunk!”

I barked out a laugh this time, her logic never failing to amuse me. “Thelma! I’d like to at least remember my 18th with you. Not to mention my first time meeting my wolf.”

“C’mon Thelma! You have to drink on your birthday! You’ve never done it before, and this might be the only chance you get for a while, between chores and pack duties.”

I considered it for a few moments. Then, a feeling of intense determination came over me. It could have been caused partly from the ill feeling of the symptoms, but it also felt like doors opening on a part of myself that I never knew. “No, Thelma.” I grabbed a can, ripping it from the plastic holding them together.

She stared at me in confusion, waiting for me to continue. Instead, I cracked the can open and took a searing sip. The alcohol burned as it slid down my throat. Then I finished my thought: “This will be the first time of many to come that I will drink by my own free will. And I will drink to a future in which I am strong enough to be respected and choose my path.”

I realized at that moment and I didn’t have to be who I’d always been. The past couple months proved exactly that. I’d learned that new people could enter my life and care for me. I had people I could count on: Thelma, Clive, Archer. I became faster and better at fighting. I made eating a priority so I could make progress with fortifying my muscles. I already felt like I was healing quicker after every beating. Not to mention my skills in creating healing remedies was getting better; I’d tried my recent pain-relieving tincture for a severe headache a few days ago and it worked like a dream. I wasn’t worthless. Now that I would get what I’d been waiting for since I was little girl - meeting my wolf - it was a new chapter of my life. For once, I felt like I could take whatever came next, like there was hope upon the horizon.

Back to earth, I noticed Thelma was looking at me with glistening crystal blue eyes, a wide smile spread across her face.

Feeling the moment was a bit on the heavier side, I broke the silence, “Also, I definitely do not want to be conscious while my bones are all breaking at once.” The admission made Thelma giggle.

Thelma leaned forward, opening the bags of chips and cookies. “So how are you feeling right now?

Digging into the food, I munched on a cookie, before taking a sip from my can. “Well, so far I just feel whoozy, you know? Like my head is pounded, my vision’s weird, and I feel hot and cold at the same time. I’m just glad I didn’t trip and fall on my face on the way here.”

Thelma grimaced, popping a chip in her mouth. “Yep, that part definitely sucks. It’s like, you’re just waiting for it to happen but all you feel is like you’re down with flu. Remember when I went through it?”

I chuckled at the memory. “Yeah, by sunset you’ve all but acted dead. Your dad insisted that you stay in bed while you waited for the shift.”

Her father was really doting and worried sick over her during her transformation. At the time, she’d been living with him in their family cottage. I couldn’t be there the entire time, but I remembered the tea and porridge he made her, the way he hovered over her like a nurse. She had to tell him multiple times that it was a werewolf transformation not pneumonia.

“Yeah, he was kind of dramatic about it. I mean, it did kind of hit me hard but he really went overboard. By the time he wanted to put another blanket on me because I was shivering so much, I had to stop him.”

We laughed. I appreciated her father for taking such good care of her. I could imagine he was incredibly proud of her. Heck, I was too. Thelma was a damn good werewolf and the best friend I could ever hope for. I couldn’t wait to join her in the ranks.

Suddenly, mid-laughter, I began wheezing couple of times. I seemed to have choked on my breath, which had begun to come out faster and shallower.

“You good?” Thelma asked.

I nodded, eyes watering. I took a swig of the can, tipping my jaw back. “Yeah, just feeling breathless. What time is it?”

Thelma checked her watch before announcing, “A quarter to midnight.”

My heart dropped to my stomach. “Great. So almost there then,” I said faintly, feeling chills erupt all along my arms.

“By the way, Vera, what’s up with you and Archer?” Thelma ventured to ask, her voice ringing with curiosity and eyes wide with mischief. Oh, so she wanted to talk boys over a midnight picnic just as I felt the alcohol sinking in? Alright.

“What’s up? Nothing, really. We’re just friends,” I said and it was the truth. While sometimes the things he did made my heart flip and my skin shiver, there was no name. I myself wasn’t sure what I felt about him. And she was right. Training with Clive never failed to make me feel like I was at a sauna. He had a smooth way with everything: words, fighting, mannerisms. Meanwhile, Archer was a serious with a tongue of silver; he was charismatic in a quiet, polite way, and always knew what to say. Even if the two had some weird rivalry going on, I thought they complemented each other well as friends.

“I mean, I see the thing between you and Clive, but I feel like Archer taken more than just a liking to you,” Thelma noted thoughtfully.

“Hmm, I don’t know what you’ve been seeing. But they’re both incredibly kind gentlemen, who just happen to be very handsome. I appreciate both of them in my life.”

“Yeah, yeah, we get it Vera,” Thelma rolled her eyes teasingly, popping a whole cookie in her mouth. “Give me at least some juicy details for once!” Her voice were muffled as she munched through the cookie.

My chest began heavng with every breath. My fingers twitched uncontrollably around my can. I hurried to drink it all down before I lost control of my limbs. I couldn’t focus on the conversation.

A warm buzz filled me. My head felt like it was submerged underwater, and Thelma’s face seemed to wobble before my eyes. That must’ve been the beer kicking it. A giggle burst from my chest. “Wow, this feels good. If I knew I could feel like this so...so...easily....” I laughed. “I would’ve tried this long ago!” I clapped a hand over my mouth, trying to keep a handle on my giggling. Leaning on one arm, I lost all feeling in my elbow and nearly toppled over.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Vera said, mostly humorously, but slight concern colored her tone. Her hands grabbed my shoulders to hold me up. Shaking me a bit, she joked, “Is this the beginning of drinking, party-girl Vera? I thought you were shifting into a wolf, not Gina!”

The joke make me sputter, but then a pain shot down my spine like electricity. “Speaking of...shifting,” I let out in a breathless whoosh. “I think it’s beginning.” Lightening sparked through my back again, down to my tailbone. My bones began to ache right down to the marrow. The ache grew to a gut-clenching throb that made me quiver.

“Thank god Clive isn’t here,” I struggled to say. “Or Archer for that matter. It would be so embarrassing for them to see me like this.”

“Okay, hold on, you care more about how embarrassing it is than the pain? We’ve all been through this,” Thelma started putting food away in my bag. I had the whole blanket to myself. Trying to alleviate pain I knew wouldn’t go away, I pressed my hands on the ground before me, leaning forward. “Just breathe in and out. You’ll get through it.”

I did as she guided, the urge to arch my back and twist my body into a less painful position still overpowering me. I collapsed forward, head in the crooks of my arms, muscles tighter than I’d ever thought possible. “Thelma....please, in the bag...small pocket has the tincture...I made....” I breathed heavily, the words hard to dislodge from my mouth.

“Sure!” She said, and for a few seconds, all I could hear was rustling as she dug through it. Then, a vial landed in my shaking palm. Uncorking it, I gulped the couple ounces of the liquid back, notes of catclaw and mint flooding my tongue. I swallowed, the liquid cold as it entered my overheated body. A few moments later, the pain in my bones lessened only slightly so, but it was enough to feel at least a little better.

“I know I’m drunk right now,” I huffed, curling in on myself. Sweat slicked my skin, sliding down my temple. “But just know that I love you Thelma. And if I die tonight, tell my mom I love her.”

“Uh, Vera, pretty sure you’ll be the one to tell her... actually, this is a dark thought, so I’m not even going to say it, and yes, you are not in your right mind.”

“Her bones.... don’t forget, take care of the bones,” I mumbled feverishly, feeling sweat pool down my back.

“Oh, the bones. Right, of course. But you won’t die, Vera. You’ve only just started living.”

I wanted to reply, but my body spasmed uncontrollably, my back arching and my arms curling around. Unable to help it, I jerked out my legs, rolling on the ground. Thelma cautiously backed away, knowing there was nothing she could do but let me undergo the change. Everything felt like it was burning and ripping apart. Through my muddled mind and fuzzy ears, I could faintly hear my bones snapping and breaking and grinding with each other. But I felt them better than I heard them. Every snap sent me into a tizzy of pain, wave after waves crashing over me. I couldn’t remember how to breath. I didn’t know what my body was doing. All I could feel was the sensation of rocking back and forth, and my limbs extending outward and bending unnaturally. It was so surreal, and I couldn’t get a hold of myself long enough to tell Thelma to not come near me lest I hurt her.

I felt detached from the screams that scorched my throat on the way out. I think some of it was the alcohol and the tincture numbing me, separating mind from body so I could better withstand it. Finally, at the very last moment, even though I tried to hold on and suffer through with gritted teeth, blackness filled every corner of my mind as I sank into unconsciousness.