My head is a dull throb. We wait forever for Ezekiel to get everything prepared to join us. Even feeding from several of his servants did nothing for me. My hands are clammy and my body feels drained. Tired even. Agitated and restless once again. I hardly could contain myself the entire night. I kept watching my surroundings and tuning in on strange noises or voices.
The large male was thrilled when I allowed him to view Seraphine. Her resemblance to him seemed to enlarge his already enormous head. According to him, she is the only grandchild to share the tiny birthmark under his eye, and the texture of his hair and even the unusual bend in her pinky fingers. The others only share his eye color.
He goes over everything with his oldest son, who is left in charge. He grabbed several things he thought he might need. He primped himself like a peacock before heading to join us. Alexavier rolled his eyes as we exited behind the relative giant. This time, none of the females dared spare me a single glance. Their eyes trained dutifully on Ezekiel, no doubt afraid to lose one if they didn't comply. Finally, we are outside the castle.
"I notice you have a locket. A gift from Seraphine?" Ezekiel inquires.
"Yes." I can see the question in his eyes. "You may look if you'd like. It has a photo of Sera and one of the child." He draws closer, and inspects the locket. I also hand him the photo in my pocket.
"I know that look." He points at my face. "That was the same look I once held for my beloved." For the briefest moment his brash, over confident demeanor cracks. I carefully select my words as I prepare to reply.
"You must have loved her a great deal." He frowns a little.
"She was everything. I gave up everything for her, only for her to destroy me." Alexavier watches intently.
"I was cast out, I chose her over my alliance with God. I was banished and made to live with her in the mortal realm. I gave her power, extended life. Everything, even if I had to steal it. She gave me children, and what I thought was love. She tried to take it all back when she found someone with more to offer. My love, my sacrifice meant nothing. She abandoned us all, even her children for this bastard, and cursed me to shorten my life. I had to find sacrifices here and there to remain in existence. That bastard killed the mother of his own children to be with her, a wretched harlot. Her power came from me though, and weakening me weakened her. First, I killed her. Then, though they will never tell it, I killed Asmodeus. He never killed himself in grief." My blood is ice. This is the connection! This is why Yeomorah is tormenting us, to spite Ezekiel. It was never coincidental. He hates Ezekiel for his father's demise.
"It makes sense now..." Alexavier whispers.
"Yes. When you mentioned Yeomorah, I knew. I figured I might as well tell, he will no doubt bring it up."
"You never wanted to kill your own-" Alexavier starts.
"No. It suffers me. That is what she wanted though. She wanted to destroy me mentally, physically, emotionally and even after all I done for her. I'm a selfish man though, I wanted to live. My bloodline was strongest, and easiest to access. Everytime I'd kill one of those children I'd go up to my room afterwards and cry until I'd vomit. The guilt is like a cancer though, and after so long it ate holes in my conscience. I remember each one, and their mothers' faces..." He sighs.
The way back is silent. We recieve several looks from others as we journey, and several demons ponder robbing us until they realize it is Ezekiel with us. They slink away in haste trying to avoid being confronted. The whole time I think about Seraphine. I wonder what she is doing now. How she's feeling? If she truly does hate me. Ezekiel's revelation makes me uneasy, mostly because much of it relates to Sera and I.
I have betrayed her. She gave up what little she had when I took her that day to my home. Her job, independence, free will. And though she was trying to get back home, she was never cruel to me or even aggressive unless I hurt her. She would only turn me down to feed when she wasn't well, but I just took and took. I offered only material things in return, Seraphine has never been wooed by luxury. She only desires comfort, fair treatment and love. She soaks up affection like a sponge, she is starved for it. It never meant much to me, growing up with a mother who suffocated us with love. I never realized how far people will go for it. It has, in honesty, been one of the few things Sera ever asked of me. Love. Comfort. She didn't want to suffer.
How do you prove an abstract concept though? As many don't believe in a God they cannot see, Seraphine rejects emotions I do not demonstrate and that she cannot feel. Even if I loved her, my actions gave rarely proven it. Now that I have abandoned her until Yeomorah is slain, how will I go about proving it? At some point, I will have to go to grandfather's home and I will be be near her. How do you project live from a distance? I have been shown love, but I have never truly loved anything. It was the way of our kind to me. Don't get attached to what you eat, or what can die. Eventually it leaves. Grief is stressful, and taxing, I've lived life in such a way that I've never had to feel bad. I had never had to burden myself with this sort of thing, I existed only for violence and gluttony. To amuse myself by using others.
"What has you so quiet?" Alexavier asks.
"Just planning. When we get back through the portal, I will be staying long enough only to work out a plan. I'll return only when we are ready to go to Yeomorah."
"So that's it? You aren't even going to acknowledge Seraphine?"
"It's not safe."
"No, it's too much work. It strains you to exert effort. You could find other ways to communicate with her if safety is the hold up. I know you are older than the declaration of independence, and you probably invented the wheel, but phones exist now. You could try speaking to her on one." Ezekiel laughs.
"If you have to show him how to care, then he doesn't. With Magdalene, I'd have stood on knives and walked through Hell fire just to bid her hello. You might have the look I had for Magdalene, but you lack the drive. Love that isn't expressed or reciprocated is useless." He shrugs his shoulders.
"She doesn't want me." I defend.
"She might have, had you treated her right and not ran out on her."
"I ran out to protect her."
"She doesn't know that, does she?" IÂ growl out and walk farther away from him. I'm not up to arguing with her brother, it is none of his business. Ezekiel judges us both silently, but remains quiet on the topic.
I begin to feel strangely, so I ask them to stop so I can rest for a moment. I'm actually cold. I have cold sweats and I'm trembling. I feel the urge to vomit and I hold to a tree with my claws to stabilize myself. My eyes droop and shake my head trying to regain my composure. I hear Alexavier approach me and I can't stop myself as I swing at him and everything goes black.
When I finally come too, I'm back in my grandfather's home. I'm in the bed, in the room where we had opened the portal. Everyone is here, looking over me except for Seraphine and her mother. I try to move my body, but my body is sore and heavy. I am completely confused.
"When did we get here?" I demand as I force myself to sit up in the bed.
"After you went berserk and attacked Alexavier, I managed to subdue you and you were unconscious. Alexavier lead the way and we brought you here."
"You were possessed, again." Nomias states. I hardly register him as I am intoxicated with Seraphine. I can feel her in this house, and my heart thumps anxiously.
"Where's Sera?"
"I never told her you were back."
"Tell her you spoke to me, that I have enjoyed the sweater. And that I'm fine. What has she done? Has she asked about me?"
"No, she hasn't asked." I'm flustered at this. I make note to sneak out and check on her later.
"Ezekiel has spoken to you already? Have you decided when we will be meeting Yeomorah?"
"Yes. We've already been strategizing. As for Yeomorah, I'm waiting till the end of next week, right on the deadline. My way of wasting his time since his man was caught stalking Seraphine."
"What do you mean? Where is he?"
"When Barima was killed, her soul was destroyed. This man had possessed her. He had been in her body, moving things in Seraphine's room and I had thought her being dramatic. Long story short, he tried to attacked Seraphine while she slept and she awoke and killed him through Barima's body. She knew how to absorb his soul and destroy it."
"She absorbed Barima's once, but let it reside within her. She never destroyed it."
"A very quick learner. She's going to be a very powerful woman. She's mastered the mind block, and is a natural fighter. She holds herself back too much, or I'd have had a time." Unbelievable.
"You taught her to block her thoughts from me?"
"It was necessary for defense. What good is combat skills when your mind is readable? They'd know her every move if her opponent can mind read. It was necessary."
"I told you strictly-"
"She would've learned on her own anyways. I caught her sneaking specific
books from the library again. I gave up. She wants to protect her babies. She's even obsessed with whipping Axar into shape. She's scared, let her have this much. If I hadn't taught her what I have, who knows, that man possessing Barima might've killed her." I can't argue that, but I'm not pleased at the complications this will bring. It's complicated enough as it was.
"I suppose she needs to learn." I sigh. "This complicates matters."