We all met back at my home. Sera immediately went to find Barima, and I did not stop her from going to the source of the blood trails. I secretly hoped she'd slip and fall. That she'd die again. I focused on my anger to stop the urge to be near her, to feed from her. Her brother accompanied her, with his eyes on the back of his head. I couldn't have spoken to her or neared her of I tried. Ivara also cut me off from any conversation. I tried to initiate talk about family and bloodlines, but she told me flatly that I deserved none of that knowledge. Not even my parents want to deal with me. They followed Ivara to another room.
"So, I got you exactly what you wanted. Do you still plan to sit here and act like an asshole all evening? Thanks are in order."
"I wanted to back out. That bastard she carries is not mine. I no longer wanted her."
"I should kill you right here for wasting my time you little pest. I see what the problem is here. Responsibility, Noxodius kryptonite. You can't stand to have to face reality and consequences, so you would delude yourself into thinking you aren't the father. I snort.
"Dellude? She fed from Lucien. I seen it when I messed with her memories."
"Fed, not fucked. It's hard to control hunger, wouldn't you agree? Especially when you've never been taught. Tell me, Nox. Tell me how many you've devoured and bedded when she was yours? After her death? I can tell you that child is not Lucien's. Yeomorah would die or kill it before he let his bloodline leave hid property. Even that unstable prick would claim his children. Are you lower than him?"
"What I've done or how I've fed has nothing to do with this! It's our nature. It's how we survive. I have to feed."
"Precisely. So why do you not give her the same rights? You messed with her memories, therefore you have them in your possession. Look back through them. Figure it out. I can take one look at this girl and tell you are foolish."
I don't respond, I just stand and briskly walk away. I vanish in the hall and I creep next to Barima's room, where Sera works with Barima's body alongside her brother.
"Why would he do this? To Barima of all people. I don't understand." Sera cries as she strokes a wet cloth along Barima's face. Alexavier sighs.
"Some people have no redeeming qualities dear." He takes the cloth and grabs one of Sera's hands in his. "It's like this. Some people are only here for themselves. They care about nothing, nobody. They have no sympathy, guilt, or value for life. Others only exist to 'please them.' He has always been a waste, and he always will. He denied his child, tried to kill its mother, and now he would use his own daughter he mistreated and unborn grandchild as pawns. Accept him for what he is, do not try to understand his reasoning. Sometimes, there is none. Accept Noxodius at face value too, he goes no deeper than this. He said what he said because he meant it. He won't be good to you, he has never has he? He won't come around, or love his child. Nothing has 'gotten into him.' He only dropped the mask. You are seeing his true nature now. You did nothing wrong. Stop trying to find the silver lining in every storm cloud you see."
"He killed me, I know. Before all that though he proclaimed his love, and how he couldn't be without me. How it would be us always, or death. I just don't understand. I swear to you I never slept with that godawful man, yet he accused me and humiliated me in front of everyone. I've never felt so small, unwanted. And until you and mother, I don't believe I had ever been wanted." She elevates her head and blinks, fighting away tears. Her confusion and sorrows hang about her like a thick winter coat. The restlessness within me heightens and I almost go to her without thinking. "I just don't know now that I could ever trust him again. Everything he says, he does, he is, is a lie. A perfectly orchestrated lie. I believe he could even lie to himself. I've never said it out loud, but he is just like my father. He will never change. I know this now. I only tried to a thousand times to find good in him, to make the most of this."
"You don't have to try anymore. Let him go. Don't waste anymore energy on it. Mother and I will be with you, wherever you go. You will have us to lean on, and that boy. He thinks the sun set on you. He told me you still have the aura of death, even after dying. This tells me that you or someone near you, will die. He had a nightmare last night, that Noxodius killed a baby, a baby that looked like him. I-I think that's a premonition. I believe he is going to try to kill your child unless we can intervene."
"Oh no. Did he see anything else? Barima told me that death cannot be stopped, can we stop him?"
"Barima is wrong. Natural death cannot be stopped, but unnatural is about circumstances and decisions. It would take hiding from him, or changing his mind. I believe his mind is compromised already."
"Then I have to leave. I have to get out of here."
"Not until Ezekiel is dead, and banished. He knows your name now. He would find you. Give it a week here, stay away from him. We will come back for you."
"Can we find Barima?"
"I can only try. If she has crossed over, it might be too late. It's not as simple the second time around unfortunately. You can still summon her presence to speak with her."
"After Ezekiel is gone, can you teach me to use my abilities? I want to be able to protect my baby."
"Of course. If you are fine for a moment, I'm going to check on mother." Sera nods.
"I'll be okay." Alexavier leaves and I wait for him to be completely out of sight before I materialize and enter the room. Sera lays on the bed by a now cleaned and redressed Barima. The bandages on have aesthetic purposes now, but Sera had applied them anyways.
"Seraphine, or should I say Itara?Is that what I'm to call you now?" She jumps at my voice and looks over to me with puffy, empty eyes.
"Call me whatever, I'd prefer you not call me at all."
"You prefer me call you a whore then?" She doesn't even flinch.
"Why not, Samael? You already have, infront of everyone while I sat listening in that cell." I grind my teeth at being called Samael.
"A demon's name is everything. Never refer to me as anything outside Noxodius. I should kill you for calling me the name of that traitor."
"You done it once, I have little doubt you'll do it again. You don't want to be called Samael, quit being a traitor like him."
"You are the traitor here!"
"Whatever you consider me to be, you should hold up a mirror. Deflection is a terrible tactic. Why are you here?"
"It's my home."
"Yes, but Barima's room. I'm in it. You sought me out for a reason." I clench my fists. I did not think about that. I have to find an excuse now.
"Barima was once my lover. I simply came to pay respects to a woman I had in the past slept with so many times."
"You can start by actually respecting her body from now on. You threw her in a marsh, and left her crumpled in a tub. Try again." She sees right through me as she sets her jaw and stares at me with an unusual amount of determination.
"I owe you no excuses for what I do." I snap. She only rolls her eyes.
"Then pay your 'respects' to Barima." She leaps up from the bed and exits past me. I grab her arm before she can leave at the last second. Regardless of how I feel or try to feel, I need her. I'm dying for her.
"I-I came to feed." I blurt out as I try to strike her arm. She yanks her arm away.
"No." She runs through the door and quickly down the stairs before I can protest.
I walk out of the room and shut the door. I had zero intentions of paying respects to Barima, I only intended to try to hurt Seraphine. I go into my own room for a moment to collect myself. My hands are shaky and for once, I feel nauseous. Sick. Cold even. On the opposite side of this mattress is where Sera once laid. I held her body and begged to find her, to unite her soul and body and have her living again. Now, she lives. She's here in my house, home once again and I have successfully ruined this. I should have kept my suspicions to myself. I should have kept an act going so that I could still have and feed from her until I decided what to do. I'm furious with myself. With her.
I have no clue how long I stayed in this room as I finally exit to find the others downstairs. The guys sit in the small library, deep in discussion and occassional laughs. Axar sits by Alexavier, and my father. The women sit in the dining area, both on either side of Sera who eats ravenously on a pasta dish. My mother's eyes twinkle as she watches her. Ivara notices this and she beams at my mother. I silent smile of understanding between two excited grandmothers.
Guilt grips my heart as I remember what Alexavier said about Axar's premonition. Would I really go far enough to kill this child? My child? Why can't I accept the truth? I know it is mine. I've debated it long enough, I have went over that memory. Still the thought of Seraphine nursing and making over that child makes me livid. What if there's more that I haven't seen? I have to get into her memories again, tonight.
"What are we eating?" I ask as I take the seat directly infront of Sera. She puts her fork down amd I feel her mood change.
"Food. There's more on the counter."
"I see that. However, I gave you no permission to eat or use things in my home."
"You gave me no permission to leave either. You won't let me live, or die for that matter. So I'll take full advantage of this house while I'm here. Now, if you aren't going to eat the leftovers, I will." I hastily make way to the stove, shoveling all the leftovers onto a plate and take my seat before her again. I eat slowly, savoring each bite as she watches my plate enviously. She then turns away and focuses back on the mothers.
"Ivara, you, Axar and Alexavier are all welcome to stay in our home in the event that Nomias wouldn't let you stay there. I don't think it will be an issue though."
"I'll have to tell Alexavier to relax. He was under the impression we'd have to leave, that she would remain here."
"I get to leave!" Sera exclaims, relief washing her features. "Thank you Mileva. Am I coming with you?"
"No, dear. You'll stay with Nomias. He's all bark, you'll be fine. He only puts on a show. No matter what he says about hybrids, he has taken a liking to you. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have interfered for you even on Noxodius's behalf." She nods at mother.
"I hope so, he still makes me nervous." She chuckles.
"He did me at first too. You should go pack your things." Mother urges and Sera stands. Mother taps her belly and playfully pushes her away while Sera feigns injury. Ivara giggles. I clear my throat.
"When was all this decided? Why have I no opportunity to voice my opinion?"
"Because you have no dog in this fight." Mother retorts.
"Sera is-"
"Nothing to you now. You deny this child, you denied her and was willing to leave her with Yeomorah. Yeomorah's deal, from my understanding was with Nomias, not you."
"You're correct! He directly dealt with Nomias." Ivara backs my mother.
"Therefore, you have no say so in anything regarding the matter."
"She cannot take anything I bought for her." I'm not sure why I'm being so spiteful, but I need her here. And I'm going to interfere and throw my weight around until I get her here. I need time to process, answers, I need her.
"I'm certain she wouldn't take anything of yours. Especially after you killed her and humiliated her. If she needs anything, her brother and I will cover it."
"As will I. She's a fixture of the family now. She will be treated as such, even after the child is born." Ivara smiles broadly at this and I see pride in her eyes. Seraphine enters the room not even five minutes later. Only the things she brought from her apartment in her arms, and there's little. Most of it remains at the apartment, probably tossed away by new renters by now.
"That's it?" Ivara asks softly. Sera nods and smiles.
"For now. As soon as everyone stops wanting to kill me, and I find Barima, I intend to go back to work." She laughs. "I imagine she's going to have words for me. This is the second time I've caused her death." Her eyes haze and I feel the guilt disguised in the joke.
"I've got to get back into my body AGAIN too. Third times a charm. It's harder for us each time though. I also don't know that Ezekiel will help me, especially now that I'm hiding his impending death from him. I might be like this forever. I will help you find her too. Alex is a great tracker."
Hearing enough of this I leave the kitchen to find grandfather, who is still in the library with his company. He quirks a knowing brow and motions me in.
"Spill it. You've come here on a mission like a holy man with his scripture. Speak before you bite your tongue off." Father laughs and slaps his knee.
"Seraphine is staying with you?"
"Why of course. This child will named by me, remember our deal? So I intend to keep my second great grandchild close by so I can monitor and observe. It will help me decide a name." I scoff at this.
"That's all?"
"Yes. Also I am dying to feed from her."
I exit in rage and I huff it to my room to pack. If she goes, I go. I go where she goes. Traitor or not, I'm getting into her thoughts when she rests her head. I want to see more. Know more. I want to know without shadow of a doubt that it's my child before I set out to hurt her.