*Seraphine's POV*
I roam the edge of the highway, watching the cars and people pass me by, none of them look in my direction even when I flag them. I'm naked, freezing and confused. I'm not even sure how I got here. All I remember is thinking I was dead, dying. Nox. Nox killed me. I think? Everything is still fuzzy but bits and pieces come to me occassionally. I wish I could remember how or why I got here, walking the road in my birthday suit.
"Hello!" I scream, jumping up and down. No car stops nobody looks. "Please! I need to go home! I'm cold." I think I'm injured? There were gashes on my tummy.
I reluctantly speed up and head in the direction of the cars speeding past me. I see Christmas lights on buildings and houses that I pass, and decorated trees in windows. I watch with an aching heart as I see a family walking inside their home, little ones carrying packages and scurrying alongside their parents. I never recieved gifts growing up, I remember that much. Dad never held my hand or laughed. He never showed any sign that my existence was valid. I felt like a ghost most of my life. A ghost. Am I real, right now?
I slip off course to a gas station, where I walk through the store doors. A few people look around or shudder, but nobody acknowledges me. I throw my head back into my hands and I scream with everything in me. A baby giggles and looks at me, but nobody else notices. I am dead. I swallow hard and grab at things on the shelves. It takes several tries to hold the chocolate bar. I slump to the floor by the shelf and cry. I bet that seven people have passed me, none seen me. What do I do? Where do I go from here? I remember my apartment, but can I get there? I stand up and leave the gas station, continuing my trajectory from before. Just follow the highway. And I do, for miles and miles. Am I able to feel tired now? Why am I not tired?
A red sports car whizzes past as the daylightvstarts to fade. The sky is that dusky transition stage with long shadows, but still light enough to see. I look back at the car as it swerves. A man stares at me from the driver's side, eyes familiar, but wide with shock. He pulls off and runs towards me. I am scared at first, but I'm already dead. Why fear now? What more can be done?
"Sera! Is it really you? I'm sorry. So sorry. I should've treasured you when I could." He grabs for me but his hand goes through. I held a candy earlier, how do I make myself touchable.
"Who are you?" I whisper. I should know him.
"Justin." His eyes are misty as he looks at me. "Do you remember me?"
"I know your face. I can't recall much. How can you see me? Nobody else can. Can you take me to my home?"
"I know yours too. Anywhere. Even with those eyes...I-I don't know how, but I do see you. Your home, it's being rented again. They couldn't find any evidence other than your note after you left. Why can't I touch you?" He tries to take my hand again. "Why are you nude? Your stomach...how...did you die?"
"Why would I leave a note? I wanted to go home, so bad. I'm not sure why, but I kept thinking about it. I can try to touch you again. I held candy earlier, it took a bit though. I died like this." I gesture. "Naked and they tore my stomach." He smiles sadly.
"So you've been roaming, naked and trying to hold candies? Other than the nudity, that sounds fitting. You always loved candies..." I reach for his arm a few times, and finally grip his bicep. He shivers. "You did it." With my hand still on his arm he grabs my wrist and pulls me to him. He's so warm, and I sigh. I've been so cold and alone. He finally releases me and rubs his eyes.
"Did I hurt you?"
"No, not physically, Serabelle. Emotionally yes, but it is not your fault. It is my own. I should've been faithful. I should've bought you all the sweets when you were alive to eat them..." Serabelle!
"You gave me that nickname!"
"Yes, you hated it. Come with me?" He motions to his car and I follow as people rubberneck to see the man on the shoulder of the road who appears to be talking to himself and gesturing. I get into his car and he drives around, aimlessly as we talk. His conversation brings back some memories for me and I try to use those to figure out more things about my life in hopes of piecing things together.
"No. I remember now. I wasn't doing what you thought I was in there. I...I played a dirty video and ate a cake I made on the couch while you knocked and yelled through the door." I admitted. He chuckled before becoming serious again.
"Cake. You posted a cake and takeout from an admirer. Who was he? I thought he was there then."
"I can't tell you. He would hurt you, but I didn't think he was real. He wasn't a man, be appeared in my house and messed with my dreams. I know that sounds crazy..."
"I believe you. I am driving circles, talking to my dead ex girlfriend. I believe anything you tell me at this point, it would be more believable than reality."
"He took me to his home and I couldn't leave. After that I remember I ran away. I took in a kid, and he stayed with me at his house. He just never would let me leave. I wanted to go home." He solemnly nods and pulls off at a little consignment store.
"Stay here. Please don't leave. I'll be back asap!" I agree and wait for his return. There's no danger of me leaving, I have nobody or where to go or nobody to confide in. Nobody who can see or hear me anyways. He energescabd runs to the car with a tiny gift bag. He lumps in closing the door and tries to reach for me once again. I grab his arm so he can touch me. This is the only method I know yet. He opens the bag with the other hand and places a dainty necklace around my neck. He grabs a hoodie from the back seat and pulls it over me. I thank him, looking down at the little angel hanging from the delicate chain.
"Thank you!" I smile at him.
"An angel, for an angel. Happy Holidays Sera." We drive around a little more before he pulls up to a church,
"I have to go home Sera, she is there. I would bring you with me, but it feels wrong to do you that way. Stay here, this church is open 24/7 to those in need. There's places to sleep here, if you sleep. I'll be back tomorrow-"
"Thank you for everything. I understand. You owed me no debt, you are not obligated to come sit me. You go live. Enjoy your life."
"I loved you Sera. Even now. I hope you forgive me." He looks away so I can't see his face as I exit. I reach to brush his arm in comfort as I shut the door to leave. He pulls away slowly, checking his mirrors for me. His words echo in my mind. So familiar. Forgive me.
I shudder as I enter the church. I wander around until I find the a heater, and I lie down beside it, curling up. I'm still chilly, but this is better. I hug my knees and tuck Justin's big hoodie down around me. I let my guard down and relax. I'm dead. Nobody but Justin can see me it seems. So I'm not too worried about anybody who might also be inside. I don't know that I'd call it sleep, but I space out for a while with my eyes closed. Retreating to the back of my mind. I don't flinch until I hear a man shouting. I open my eyes to see him scream and jump back from me.
"What are you? Leave here!"
"I'm cold. I didn't bother anything." He throws bible at me and I flinch as it goes through me. "Why would you do that?"
"You are a ghost, a spector, a demon of ill intent you do not belong in the house of God among innocents."
"Why? I can't help what I was born, or how I died. I've done nothing wrong."
"Your existence is wrong. You live to spite God." I huff.
"I no longer live. When I did it was not to spite God. I prayed to him often, I sought out the churches, I read that book you threw at me and still he forsaken me. Do you know how it feels to be denied by God? I tried to live a good life, but nobody accepted me. Nobody wanted me. Not even him, not even in my death." I leap up to my feet as the preacher flinches. "If you'll excuse me, I'm on my way to exist elsewhere."
"May I ask you something?" He asks as he holds out an arm to me. I sigh, unable to leave him hanging.
"Yes."
"Is that an angel on your necklace?" I nod as I run my fingers over it. "How did you get it?"
"Justin. He found me walking after I died. Nobody else saw me. He talked to me for a while and then he stopped and bought this for me. I think he felt bad about my life and it was Christmas. I thanked him. He was the one who brought me here to stay so I wouldn't be cold." He clears his throat.
"How do you feel cold? Can the dead feel cold? Where are your clothes? That hoodie can't be yours." This stumps me.
"I honestly don't know. I was so cold when I died...I died naked. Justin gave me this hoodie. They had clothes in the gas station with logos, but it didn't feel right taking it." I look down, somewhat embarrassed.
"Nobody would've seen you take it."
"Perhaps, but I'd know. The workers, owners are living. Stealing even though I could've gotten away with it would hurt their business. They need their merchandise to sell, to support their families. I'm no longer burdened by bills..." His eyes have softened now.
"Would you tell me how you died? If not, I understand." I look up at him, and teeter on my feet. A nervous tick I had always done when alive and carried over with me.
"Well. It's a long story. The Justin who brought me here was my ex. He cheated on me on my birthday. I broke up with him and went home. At home I made myself dinner and drew a bath. An incubus man had gotten into my house and ordered me cake and takeout. This obviously sounds insane. I found it and panicked, but he appeared and spoke to me. I thought I fell asleep in the bath. That I was dreaming. The man was obsessed with me and the next day he took me to his home. I tried to get away, but he found me and brought me back. He told me I wasn't a human and I didn't believe him. I still don't know what I was. He was aggressive though, manipulating. He promised to teach me how to control what I am do I wouldn't be dangerous, but I never was. He only wanted to keep me. He let me see the people he fed from, or killed. If I tried to leave he'd have to go harm others, so I gave up. Days later a larger demon man appeared in our house to fight him. He was going to kill him so I intervened." I cross my legs and cover as I bare my stomach. "He tore my belly open. I was bleeding and cold. The incubus, told me he loved me and held me for a moment. Then after apologizing he snapped my neck. He finished me off, even after I saved him. A stupid death really. Fitting of a push over like me to go out in such a sorry way. I despise myself for not turning a blind eye..." My shoulders slump.
"I'm so sorry for your death. Do not despise yourself. What you done was a testament of your character. What he done was a testament of yours. I do not know what you were or are, but you are a sentient being. A kindred, benign spirit. I cannot judge what God does, but I will not turn you away now. Stay here, please. I will bring you clothing."
"Thank you, sir." His watery eyes crinkle.
"Do not thank me, child. I'm only doing my job as the Lord's servant. Thank you for your presence. I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot, but surely if you had seen your eyes you too would have been alarmed." He beckons to me and I follow him to the small fountain in the corner. I am leery as I peer in, but I gasp.
"Oh my!" My eyes are huge, and solid black. Almost mimicking those of a horse. Deep, glossy black. Soulless. My neck is slightly grey from being broken. Green hair is rumpled and has remnants of dried blood. "I'm ghastly..."
"You are what you are. More than meets the eye. You are welcome to wash up...erm...if your kind may do that. I will bring towels, clothing. If the boy can hand you the hoodie, clothing and towels should be able to be used by you. I think. We shall try." He takes off awkwardly as I sit alone staring into the fountain, heartbroken.
I'm dead. A ghost. A ghastly one. I remember my death now, and much more than I did walking the highway earlier, but still things seem lost. I do not know if others in the house were alive or safe. Axar! My chest tightens with dread. What if he perished? Where did we live again? I need to find him. I have to know. I'll stay here until I remember enough, and I'll find that boy. I have to know. I watch bloody tears pool out of my coal eyes as I cry, they turn pink and swirl in the water below.