Chapter 50: : Chapter 50

I look up when Theo places a cup of coffee on my desk, a sweet smile on his face. “Don’t do that,” he murmurs, his gaze roaming over me. “Don’t avoid me because of what I said.”

“I’m not,” I reply weakly. Truthfully, I haven’t even thought about him. All I’ve been able to think about all day is my conversation with Archer last night and how it felt to fall asleep next to him, only to wake up alone. I’d felt a bit more at ease until I saw him coming out of the room he now shares with Tyra, and I realized he’d left me at night to join her in bed.

Theo sighs and drags his chair over. “I know you well enough to know you’re avoiding me. I can handle rejection, Serenity. What I can’t handle is losing you altogether. If friendship is all you’re able to give me, then I’ll happily take that.”

I nod, unsure what to say. I loved him for years, but what I felt for him pales in comparison to my feelings for Archer, and I can’t tell what’s real anymore. I waited so long for one single chance with Theo, and it feels like I’m wasting this opportunity, like I owe it to myself to at least think about it…when I truly don’t even remotely want to.

“I know, Theo. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to avoid you, but I guess I subconsciously did just that.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I don’t want you to apologize for doing what’s right for you, even if it hurts me,” he tells me, looking away.

His words startle me, but I nod nonetheless. He takes one more look at me, and then he rolls his chair back to his own desk, leaving me staring at him. It isn’t hard to remember why I fell for him in the first place. If he’d never started dating Kristen, would we have found our way to each other by now? It’s all I can think about all the way home—all the what-ifs. What if Tyra had never gone missing? What if I’d had the courage to confess my feelings for Theo sooner? What if I’d followed my dreams instead of turning to street art, and I’d never ended up at Serenity Solutions? Would Archer and I, despite all of that, still have found our way to each other?

I’m absent-minded when I walk in, only to find Tyra standing in the living room, her hands held up in defense and her eyes wide. It takes me a moment to realize that I accidentally slammed the door closed—loud sounds trigger her. Tears fill her eyes, and her breathing becomes ragged as I take a step forward, panic taking hold of her and consuming her whole.

“Tyra,” I murmur, my voice soft and placating. “It’s me. Serenity. It’s just me.”

Recognition flashes through her eyes, taking the edge off her panic, but she’s too far gone to regulate her breathing.

“I’m sorry, Ty,” I tell her, taking a step closer. “I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to startle you.”

Her shoulders relax, and I take another cautious step forward, carefully watching her to make sure she doesn’t recoil. She tries her best to breathe but only manages to choke in the process, tears streaming down her face as she sinks to the floor, burying her face in her hands.

“It’s okay,” I whisper as I kneel in front of her, my stomach twisting as guilt takes root. “Can I hold your hand?”

I hold mine out to her, letting her make the call. She’s been trying to hide it, but I noticed she doesn’t like to be touched if she isn’t the one taking initiative. Tyra looks into my eyes, her breathing slowly returning to normal as she takes my hand and squeezes tightly.

I sit with her like that, our hands joined, my thumb drawing soothing circles on her skin. It hurts to witness her fragility when I’d always admired her strength. She was someone I looked up to, the first one to protect me and stand up for me, even against my mother when need be. To know someone took that strength from her and broke her…it destroys me. She’s lost so much, and I can’t be the reason she loses anything else.

“I really need Archer,” she tells me, her expression pleading. “I don’t feel safe when he isn’t there, Serenity. I can’t…I can’t be without him. It’s so hard for me when he leaves for work, and lately he’s been staying gone for longer than before. I just keep thinking that someone is going to walk in and take me, and I’ll be trapped all over again, and this time, I won’t make it out alive.”

“You’re safe here,” I promise her. “No one but Archer, Ezra, or me can enter. There are multiple layers of security, and Archer hired extra security personnel that he’s stationed in the lobby and in the hallway. No one can get to you here, Tyra. I’m sure of it.”

She nods, and I hold my arms out for her. She tries her best to blink back her tears, only for a sob to tear through her throat when she hugs me, her head on my shoulder. I hold her tightly, gently rubbing her back, and all the while, my own heart shatters into a thousand pieces. It’d destroy her if she found out about Archer and me, and I don’t think I could live with myself if I did that to her. I don’t think Archer could either, so where does that leave us?

“He doesn’t love me anymore,” she sobs. “I can tell, Serenity. He’s trying so hard, and he’s so good to me, but I can see it in his eyes. I was so certain that I’d come home, and every argument we’ve ever had would be forgotten, and we’d get back together. The memory of him is the only reason I survived, and now…I don’t have anything left. I don’t dare leave this house, and I can’t dance anymore, and even Archer…I don’t even have him anymore. I just…maybe I just should’ve…”

“Come with me,” I whisper. “There’s something I’d like to show you.”

She takes my hand and follows me to Archer’s home office, where we moved most of my bulkier art supplies to when Ezra moved in. Her eyes widen in surprise when she sees the canvas propped up in the corner. Her body shakes as she approaches it carefully, disbelief written all over her face.

“Archer asked me to paint that for him,” I tell her, my voice breaking. “I’ve been working on it for nearly six months now, and it’s finally done. He wouldn’t have asked me to paint you living your biggest dreams if he didn’t love you.”

It kills me to say it, but I know it’s true. Each brushstroke hurt more than the last, but nothing compares to the pain of watching her look at Archer’s quiet proclamation of love for her…crafted by my hands.

“You haven’t left the house yet, but the passcode to enter his home is your birthday backwards. The code to his phone is too but the right way around. You’re an inextricable part of him, Tyra. You always will be. He never let you go, and he never will.”

She turns to look at me, and for the first time since she returned, there’s a touch of hope in her eyes. I don’t have it in me to extinguish it when her love for Archer is what gives her the will to live, to fight.