Chapter 125: Chapter 124

Chapter 35 – Honeybee

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Bonu

01:34

“Every loss, every mistake, was seared into her soul, creating a different kind of tattoo, one made from rage and abandonment, heart break and tears.“– Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl

Ashley

“If you want her back, you need to talk to her.”

“I know.”

“How long are you going to procrastinate? You can sit on your ass and reminisce through baby pictures all day, but the fact remains that you’re too damn scared to face your daughter!”

Ugh! Sometimes, I wish I can shut Delilah up, but I know I can’t. My wolf never hesitates to speak the truth. Plastic sings with every page turn with transparent pockets displaying three neat columns and three rows of photographic memories. Each picture summons long–lost emotions of the past; happy memories where each day didn’t end without a smile. Memories of my two daughters when they were young and blithe bubbled happiness within me but couldn’t place a smile on my face.

It’s easier to hide in what used to be than to confront what is now.

Halima. A name I wouldn’t dare utter again. A name meaning of patience and generosity carried with it my failures. The name my youngest daughter abandoned for another to separate herself from her father, her

sister, and me.

Yes, I’m a failure. I’m a failure as a mother.

Another picture, another smile. My youngest had the biggest and purest of smiles, even when she was born. Toothless, but held uncontained joy to enter a world in the arms of her mother. She was a special one. Jonathan, present at her birth, knew as well because Halima was born with the most striking and vibrant blue eyes–bluer than authentic sapphires. After a week, they faded to her beautiful brown.

Halima was a very energetic girl. Where did she get her energy from? Half of the time, it was from sugar. Other times, I wouldn’t know. She was always buzzing around like a honeybee.

My little Honeybee.

The world got colder when she lost that smile. When Celeste and Nuria died, the speed at which Halima went from beloved to hated was awful. Grief thickened around Zircon Moon faster than flour to butter, and the blame was quickly put on her–the last person to see both of them alive.

Yes, I lost my best friend and my baby girl that day.

But I’m a coward. I always have been, and I proved it when I abandoned my child to deflect from the fear of being reprimanded by Alpha Jonathan. A powerful man lost two people important to him and in his rage declared my baby girl a criminal.

My love as a mother should’ve shown that day, I should’ve looked in Halima’s eyes and tell her I wouldn’t leave her. That I’ll love her forever as I promised every night before she slept. I promised her so many things a nine–year–old believed in a heartbeat.

Instead, I turn my back on her. Was it from fear of Jonathan’s wrath, or was I too weak to protect my

daughter?

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Perhaps it’s both. Losing my child wasn’t worth living comfortably in this pack. Nothing warrants a mother abandoning their child–but I took the loser way out and did just that.

And here I am, twenty–two years later, begging futilely for Halima’s forgiveness for my incompetency and cowardice. But, I know, she’ll never forgive me. Her heart has hardened over the years and after Tristan’s execution, I saw how prolific her anger is.

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And I still see it as she enters the common room with Raina following behind her. Her eyes are cold, her scowl Is deep, and the power she radiates made Delilals whimper in fear. Apathy. Even as Steven holds my hand, I’m petrified of my youngest daughter.

Because I know, if it wasn’t Tristan chalned up against that tree, it would be her father and me. She could kill us. I know she wants to kill us for abandoning her. We turned a blind eye and allowed her to be treated as a slave. We left her to be raped by a monster and mistreated to the point of suicide.

That’s unforgivable.

“I don’t know why you brought me here, Raina,” Hallma tells her, Raina blinks back her tears. “There isn’t shit

to talk about.”

“Kiya, please…”

Kiya. The new name she picked for herself. She rolls her eyes before glaring at both Steven and me with unbridled hatred. “What the f*ck do you both want to say? Your silence told me enough.”

“We..

Steven breathes, squeezing my hand. “We know you’ll never forgive us, Kiya. And there is no excuse for our actions against you during your stay and…the past. We abandoned you.”

“You did more than abandon me,” Kiya spoke bitterly. “You both pretended that I didn’t exist while you primed and pampered Raina as your only child. And now, after hearing that I was raped, you want to grovel

my forgiveness? Out of the question.”

for

My heart squeezed tighter than a snake with its prey. The revelation about what happened to her broke n didn’t sleep for two days. Why should 17 Her hatred towards us is well–deserved and I can’t fight back. Goddess, I want to hold her in my arms again and tell her how sorry Fam!

“You know that won’t work, Ash,” Delflah spoke gravely. “I want Kiya back too. I want Artemis back; my precious pup. However, I failed her too. Just as you call yourself a failure, I’m also one by extension.”

“No, you aren’t. You told me countless times to rescue our daughter, but I ignored you. I stopped you from taking over. I turned the other check. It’s my fault, Lilah.”

“I’m still partially responsible.

“No, you’re not.”

There were two large photo albums around us. One on the table and the other in my lap. I watched Kiya plck. the one up off the table as Raina retreated to the corner near the windows. Flipping through the pages harshly, I watched anger morph into a plethora of emotions. Above them all, deep sadness lingered on her face the longest.

Chapter 35 Honeybee

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“Raina was so perfect, wasn’t she?” Venom dripped with every syllable. “Her eighth–grade graduation; full of smiles and accomplishment. Then, her first homecoming dance–the freedom to go out and dance all night01:29 Slowly, it crept into prom, high–school graduation, engagement, wedding–all the f*cking events just handed to her on a silver platter. I could’ve had all this too.”

“Life continued as mine stopped.” My eyes dart over to Raina, who was wiping tears from her cheeks. “But, it’s fine. It’s supposed to continue. The world doesn’t stop when a slave dies.”

“You aren’t a slave,” Steven whispers painfully. I can tell he’s struggling as much as I am.

“I’m not? Tell me, Steven. Who suggested I be made a slave that day? Because I remember Jonathan wanting to kill me.” She chuckles darkly. “Who stepped in and said I’d be of better use scrubbing the floors versus being buried six feet under?”

Steven squeezed my hand harder, sucking in a sharp breath as the guilt ate him alive. Tears etched at the corner of his eyes, threatening to spill over as he experiences the full brunt of the scorching–hot hatred of our child.

“I did,” Steven admitted. The air tensed as Kiya scoffed. “I didn’t want him to kill you.”

esot

“So turning me into an indentured servant was the better option?”

“I didn’t want to have to bury you.” My husband quickly wiped his tears before they fell. “I wanted you alive and…there was no other option. I know it’s stupid and unethical reasoning, but Jonathan was beating you black and blue! You could’ve died in front of our eyes! What else was I supposed to do?”

“Save me.” The bomb dropped. “You had options. Was being Beta so important to you? Did your duty to that bastard trump the safety of the child you swore to protect? Yes, I lived. But I spent every day since wishing I was dead.”

Raina didn’t say a word. None of us did. The truth in her words beats to the rhythm of our pathetic hearts, reminding us we’re a terrible family. We got our daughter, but she wasn’t our daughter. She was nothing, and we didn’t do a damn thing to change it. As everyone began abusing her, we did too. A twisted bystander effect.

I still remember Kiya’s eyes silently begging for me to save her. To stop Raina and others from beating her. Yet, I pretended not to see her. Strangely, as she was being thrown around like trash, Jonathan rewarded us for our loyalty. As Betas, we had the prestige from our rank, and it bettered our lives. We were so full of ourselves that as the rewards came; they clouded our minds to Halima, who ceased to exist.

It was just Slave. Mutt. Runt. Bitch. Useless cur. Her name was like acid we didn’t dare to utter.

No wonder she abandoned it.

“Was there something wrong with me?” Kiya suddenly asked when she stopped flipping the pages of the album. “Did I do something so horrible that it made you stop loving me? Was Jonathan’s pain more important than mine? I expected Mommy and Daddy to come and hug me, but they never came.”

Tears fell before I realized it. My baby girl suffered so much, and I can’t do anything to take it away. Even now, as a beautiful woman, she continues to suffer. How can I stop it? How can I get her to smile again?

“You can’t,” Delilah responded. “Because there’s no room for forgiveness in her heart. She hasn’t forgiven Raina, or Neron, or anyone else. What makes you think she’ll forgive you?”

Chapter 35 – Honeyben

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“Kiya, I’m so sorry.” I tearfully responded, shutting my eyes. I’m pathetic. So pathetic! “It’s our fault! We hun

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you so much! I’m sorry…”

“You’re not.”

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Kiya slams the photo album on the table so hard cracks stretched from the impact outward. She grips a photo in her shaking hands, wrinkling the corners slightly. “You’re not sorry for the pain you caused me. You’re only sorry because it’s the guilt making you sorry. If you were truly remorseful, you would’ve stopped Jonathan and everyone else who was beating the shit out of me in the hallways, drowning me in tubs full of scalding water, throwing me down the stairs, and many other things that should’ve ignited a mother’s and father’s protection and love for their child.”

“Instead, you threw me away and transferred all your love and affection to your precious golden child.” The laughter that erupted from Kiya’s mouth chilled me to the core. There was no humor. It was mocking. “You can’t admit that you were terrible parents because you cultivated the perfect daughter. Look at her!”

Raina’s head shot up in slight horror. “She’s a mother herself with a loving husband and a beautiful son! From the pictures, she had an exquisite wedding and an equally beautiful reception. You can feel the love from them! Be proud that you made Raina happy throughout her life. It’s what parents are supposed to do.” Kiya shrugs her shoulders calmly.

The sudden changes from anger to calm is terrifying.

“Stop crying. I don’t need your tears or apologies. I don’t need a damn thing from you two.” She looks at the photo in her hand. “You’re just like everyone else here; cowardly. Too afraid to admit that you ruined someone else’s life.”

She ripped into the photo and we couldn’t do a thing about it, no matter how much it hurt. None of us stopped her. Our guilt was that much. Kiya placed the photo on top of the album and pushed it toward me.

It was a family photo of the four of us when the girls were young. Kiya ripped herself out of the photo. What followed was a series of softer sounds of ripping. Next to the newly formed photo is a pile of her ripped to pieces. Like confetti.

“This can’t be the end…” I murmured, feeling the sizzling sensation of culpability run me ragged. For the first time during this session, I looked in the eyes of my baby girl, facing the embers of her rage that licked behind her brown. “Please, tell us that there’s something we can do to mend this. I lost you once and I don’t want to lose you again!”

“You and Steven can have another daughter.” She shrugged.

“No! I mean, what do you want us to do? We miss you…you’re so close and we can’t touch you, Kiya.”

“And you never will!” Kiya leans in, cocking her head to the side. “I feel nothing toward you both. You’ve done nothing to prove that you deserve my love or forgiveness. You had many, but you both blew them and I’m not giving any more. The only thing that would make me happy is if you both were f*cking dead!”

Kiya stands back up and turns to Raina as if her wishing for my and Steven’s demise didn’t happen. “Don’t do this shit again. I’d appreciate it if you stop asking me to waste my breath talking to them. They’re your parents. Not mine. So, stop trying to make it happen.”

Delilah was right. Kiya will never forgive us. Not when she’s closed her heart completely off to everyone else.

Chapter 35

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It’s well deserved. My husband gently cradles my head on his shoulder, resting his chin on top to comfort me as I silently cried. But it’s no use.

We lost her forever.

01:23

Alpha Neron stepped in as Kiya was about to leave. From the other side of the hallway, an Omega scampers in, bowing to us all quickly. “Alpha, there is-

“I know.” He says. “Let them in.”

Suddenly, two distinct scents invaded my nose. One of peaches and mangos and the other of pumpkin and apple cider. Both scents ignite anger within me, and Steven stirred above me. Kiya caught a whiff and jerked her head around to face the direction where the scents came from.

Two people emerged, and her eyes widened.

“Mom? Dad?!”

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