Chapter 31 â A Choice to Kill
âYour future will be determined more by choice than by chance.ââFrank Sonnenberg
Kiya
The weight of the world is on my shoulders again. This time, I cannot see a way out.
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From my tender scalp to my toes, my body suffers from throbbing aches. The morning sun begins a new day, but it couldnât shine a light through the darkness. Unending tears fell from my eyes and my heavy body is trapped in bed. I didnât want to do anything except stay in my room.
After my episode last night, I woke up to find my friends surrounding me in my bed. No doubt feeling my distress through the mindâlink. Jackie spooned me from behind, Abigail to my front, Sapphire and Galen cuddled into my legs. I donât know how my bed fit five grown werewolves, but they made it work. Heat painted my ch*eks from the closeness and their warmth is always welcome, but I feel awful for separating them from their mates. Mates sleep together, and they forgo that to comfort their broken and drunken friend.
I donât deserve them.
Sometimes, I felt like a burden. How many times have they put themselves on hold to help me? How many times have they risked themselves for me? They shouldnât have to do any of this. They have their rich lives to take care of, not a woman who canât get a grip on her emotions.
My mess is mine to clean up; they have lives to tend to and shouldnât bother themselves with my problems.
Although, I wish Darien was part of our nest. Our team is incomplete without him, and I miss him terribly. His brunette disaster, however, is determined to ruin me with a knife to the heart. But I know Iâll get him back.
F*ck vodka. I shouldâve known it wonât make me forget about the guard. Now, I donât have the strength to fight against this additional weight.
Iâm strong, right? Iâm a survivor, right? Then why do I feel so weak? Being strong dayâin and dayâout is so hard. Itâs a fullâtime job; a brutal fullâtime job.
Yet, I turned in the pinkâslip the moment my eyes landed on him. I come to learn his name as Tristan. A generic name for a detestable man.
Everything came backâthe memories, sensations, pain, and more. And I couldnât protect Artemis from the experience because I put up a wall too late after the assault. She knew that Tristan hurt me but didnât know how brutal the hurt was. Anytime heâd come into my cell to do his dirty business, protecting A
Artemis from the horrific experience became a priority. Reinforcing the mental wall so she couldnât see, feel, or hear Tristanâs assault became routine. I was physically weak, but I willed myself mentally to protect my wolf from the evil cast on my body.
I knew I could protect Artemis, no matter how much I suffered. My wolf holds a special place in my heart, and Iâd be damned if anyone hurt her. Sheâs too pure to experience hell.
Even now, as she tries to help me out of my rut. Artemis is too good for me. How did a mighty wolf like herself get stuck with someone like me?
âDonât you dare go down that line of thinking, young lady!â Artemis bellowed suddenly like a mother st
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corning their child. âYou arenât a burden to me. Never will be. Youâre relapsing into depression
and Iâm here to remind you that I love you and will always be at your side no ma what
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âI let him get to me. Artemis,â I reply as tears dripped on my pillow.âAs soon as I saw his face and smelled scent, everything came backâeverything I felt as a slave. I donât feel like myself ammore. Looking in his eyes was like he was raping me all over again.â
âKiya, why didnât you let me know what happened: You gave me bits and pieces, but never the full
story.â
âWe feel everything together when our walls are down. I couldnât let you feel what he was doing to me. You try take over to stop him, but heâd force himself on you. I couldnât let you live with that pain too Iâm sorry Artemis.
âDonât apologize. Even when brutalized. you thought about my wellâbeing If Artemis was next to me Iâd feel her snout nuzzle into my side. A pooling of warmth appeared on the right side of my body. âYou protected me. If anything. I donât deserve you. Youâre a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for
âIâm tired of it. I admit, rubbing the fallen tears from my ch*eks. Being strong all the times difficult. reminded of why this pack is despicable and deserves to burn to the ground for what they did i
âAn eye for an eye.â
âNo one here got punished for what they d Sure, they got gems, but itâs enough. They be her lat off the hook. It isnât fair. Art. None of them truly suffered.â
Be careful with this line of thinking, Kiki.â Artemis warmed. Right on cue Osins munk pulsated, making me hiss in pain. âItâs unfair, but you arenât like them. You wonât stoop as low as they have. Youâre better than them.â
âI knowâ¦â
The mark continued to throb asynchronously from my heartbeat, begging for the touch of their creator. Since disfiguring Tristan, the call to darkness strengthened. Itâs like a trend impeting me into a world of infinite possibilities. Beating the shit out of my rapist brought buppiness beyond comprehensionâit was only a fraction of the burning rage I felt I dipped me in a sea of red, but couted in a blanket of blackened security. I didnât want to leave it. I wanted more
Osiris applauded me, delighted at my viciousness. If I wasnât interced, I wouldâve killed Tristan. I didnât want him to die yet because he deserved more hurt. Death is too gred for him. Waking into the afterlife meant heâs free of pain and responsibility of this world and he shouldnât escape it. Not now, not ever
Artemis is right. This line of thinking is dangerous. I canât give Chins what he wantsâme becoming a ruthless monster. Becoming someone ke him is not an option. I canât give in to my dark side.
But, goddamnit, I wanted doll
I remained in bed for the rest of the day Facing the world after unveiling my shameful secret terrified me. My
han
appetite disappeared, and it benât turned. Taking a shower was hell because my body felt as heavy as lead. Dragging it to the bathtub was ke pulling cinderblock. I ignored my friendâs requests to hang out with them and told them they can eat my share of breakfast and lunch let their disappointment and worry through
Chapter 31âA Choice to Kill
mindâlinks, but I blocked them out.
I wanted to be alone.
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02:30
Before I could take my millionth nap, a soft knock rapped on my door. I grouchily snatched my phone off the lamp table and checked the time. Itâs past 7 PM. I tossed my phone back and covered my head with my blanket, hoping the person on the other side would take a hint and leave me alone.
âDelta Kiya? Itâs Isabella!â
My head shot out of the blanket. Great, I canât ignore my favorite student! Sighing, I kick the covers off me and trudged to the door, meeting a pair of innocent emeralds.
âYes?â
âIâm sorry to disturb you, butâ¦are you okay? You canceled training and I havenât seen you all day.â
Goddess, my heart. Bella is worried about me. Blinking back the tears that threatened to fall again, I did my best to muster up a smile, kneeling to her level. âIâm sorry for worrying you, dear. Iâmâ¦dealing with some things and needed time away. Thank you for checking on me.â
âWell, as long as youâre okayâ¦â This sweetheart and I developed a bond and Iâm happy to see Bella come out of her shell. Although, itâs normal for younglings to worry about the adults they care about; I still worry about Mom and Dad occasionally.
âIs there anything else, Bell?â
âYeah! Alpha Neron is asking for you.â
If there was a moment where I wanted to bash my head into a wall, itâd be now. I know he wants to talk about what happened on the cliff, but Iâm dreading the awkwardness. Plus, thereâs no way Iâd avoid everyone for a day without him noticing
Regardless of my internal protests, I followed Isabella to the kitchen where Neron was waiting for me. On the island were two plates of honey garlic salmon. My stomach thought it was a perfect moment to imitate a bearâs roar, and I know these two heard me, Neron shot me a smirk, and I blushed. His dish had less food than what I assume is mine. Isabella departed with a smile, leaving us alone.
âYou look like hell.â He bluntly commented.
I rolled my eyes. âTell me something I donât know.â Gesturing to the seat on the opposite side of him, I begrudgingly obliged, only because Iâve yet to have a decent meal. Neron filled a cup with water from a pitcher and handed it to me. Muttering my thanks, I grabbed my fork and took a wellâneeded bite.
âWow!â Savory flavors danced around my tongue, making me smile. âThis is good. Cassandra outdid herself.â Yikes, that left a bitter taste in my mouth.
âShe didnât make this.â
âWho did?â
âMe.â
Chapter 31 Choice to kill
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I choked on my fork. Thatâs impossible! I imagined Neron in a lot of positions, but as a cook wasnât one of them! But when I look at his face, thereâs no hint of deceit. His sapphires are twinkling with delightâa drag23 change from yesterday. âSince when did you learn how to cook?â
âMom was the type who believed that everyone should learn how to cook. Itâs a necessity that shouldnât be based on gender. She showed me how, and it stuck with me. I donât cook often; only on special occasions.â
âSo, this is a special occasion?â I asked, taking another bite of the savory salmon. Goddess, I wanted to eat this for the rest of my life!
âWell, I wanted to see how youâre doing.â He admitted, poking at his fish with his fork. âAnd thereâs something we need to talk about.â
Dread filled the air and savagely murdered my appetite. I dropped my fork down next to my plate and felt the weight of the world on me again. Crawling into a dark hole never seemed so appealing. Iâm too overwhelmed and wanted to hide until it stops.
âI donât want to talk about him.â Lethal poison dripped from the last word as my body involuntarily shook from his past violence. âItâs barely been two days, and heâs taking up all my thoughts. Can we talk about something else?â
âWe have to talk about him.â
âThen Iâm leaving.â Abruptly, I shot up from my seat and marched towards the door.
âTristanâs execution is set for tomorrow morning.â
Time stopped around me. Did I hear him correctly? Tristan will die? Turning my head, my expression is stoic, but my eyes are swimming with unspoken emotions. âWhat did you say?â
âTristan will be killed tomorrow morning in front of the pack,â Neron explained, pushing his food to the side. and folding his hands. âI visited him in the prisons last night and he confessed to what he did to you, Kiya, He admitted to everything but did not express remorse.â
Since when do rapists feel guilt for what they did? Rape is not a accidentâTristan knew what he was doing and why. Heâd always said no one would believe me if I said anything. I was a slave. I could attempt to tarnish his name, but he had too many allies whoâd believe him over me, including Jonathan. Heâd beat me for lying.
I stared at the door, soaking in Neronâs words. Tristan confessed to him, but I need to hear it. I need him to look me in the eye and admit that he brutalized me.
âIn front of the pack?â I asked in a whisper.
The Alpha nodded. âExecutions are public. However, I want to ask if you want to be the one to execute him.â
Such a loaded statement. My mind spun madly; I had to grasp the wall to keep steady. To be the one to take Tristanâs lifeâto end his life foreverâa part of me wants to do it. Itâll be retribution for my inner child. The bastard will die knowing his victim lived, and heâll be served to the flames of hell.
But another part of me doesnât want to do it. Iâm not a killer. Will killing him help me heal? Iâve lived by personal code to never take a life. Yes, Iâve killed rogues, but Tristan isnât a rogue. Heâs a disgraced pack member. Is it my right to take a life?
Chapter 11-& Choc
âWhat if I donât want to kill him?â
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âI have a list of people who like to kill him, me and your sister included.â He smiled lovingly. âYou donât have to if you donât want to.â
âIf I say yes, do I get a choice in how I kill him?â
âYes.â
ââ¦Can I have some time to think about this?â.
âYes, but you have until the morning of.â Neron took my plate and fork and walked to me, gently placing them in my hands. âWhatever your choice is, Iâll accept it. I wonât allow that man to live after what heâs done to you.â His large hand cupped my ch*ek, wiping away a tear that escaped. âMy apologies wonât erase the past but allow me to carve out a future where heâll never hurt you again. I promised to protect you, remember? And I wonât stop.â
I took the plate and nodded as more tears fell. Looking into his eyes, his blue took on many shades, but I see the vibrancy of his vows.
âThank you,â I whisper. âFor giving me this choice. Iâll sleep on it.â
âOkay.â He grins. âFinish your food. I worked too hard on it to let it go to waste!â
âAlright.â Once he released me, I left the kitchen.
No matter what happens tomorrow, Tristan is dead.
But should he die by my hand?
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