The soft rustling of the forest leaves wakes me up as I sense someone walking past my tent. The light of the morning is jumping at my side, and the sun lightly falls onto my cheek. I groan as I get up, and slowly open my tent to see Ricky and Cho talking around the worn-out campfire from last night.
I walk up to them, giving them a small wave
"Hey," Ricky says, handing me some food. I thank him before sitting down next to Cho, noticing her still face
"What's with your mood?" I ask, lightly hitting my elbow against hers. She snaps out of her thoughts and shrugs, a smile plays on her lips
"I'm not a morning person," She says. I nod, but I can't help but see Ricky's cautious eyes
"What're we doing today?" I ask. Ricky shakes his head
"I'm hanging out with Gyuvin today," he says. I look at him with a smirk
"A date?"
"No. Stop it, Hanbin" Ricky says, throwing me a ball of aluminum foil that he had kept from last night. I laugh before throwing it back to him
"I was joking!" I say but look at Ricky with mock in my eyes. Ricky rolls his eyes before getting up from one of the logs, and walks up to his tent, closing it behind him
"Damn. You think he's mad?" Cho asks
"Nope. He's probably just going to sleep more" I say, and Cho hums in response. I look at her, and once notice the dark circles under her eyes
"You seem kinda off. Are you ok?" I ask in worry
"I'm good"
"You sure?"
"Don't push it, Hanbin. I'm fine" Cho says. Her voice is light, but I can tell that she's getting annoyed
"Right. Sorry," I say, leaning back on one of my bags. Silence awkwardly fills the forest, with Cho and I being the only ones who are awake
"I was surprised when Hao came," Cho says. Her voice sounds almost... cautious?
"Yeah?" I ask. My stomach churns as I hear Cho say his name out loud. How will I ever tell her? Will she ever know?
"Yeah. He's not the social type"
"Weird. He and Ricky get along really well" I say, as cautiously as possible. I don't sound too obvious right?
"Really? What about you?" She asks, and I freeze. Why would she ask that? Does she know what happened between us that night? No, obviously not. How could she know?
Cmon Hanbin, pull it together
"What do you mean?" I ask
"Are you close to Hao?"
"I mean, since Ricky is my best friend I obviously see him a lot," I say, not a stutter heard in my words. Lying came out easily, but at what cost?
"But are you close to him?" She asks. I shrug, not exactly knowing what to say. She'll be less mad if I consider him a friend, right?
"I guess. We talk sometimes. He and I have gotten close since Hao helped Ricky with a few things" I say, half genuine. I feel Cho relax by my side
"Oh," She says silently
"Why did you ask?"
"Dunno. I saw you guys yesterday and you seemed pretty close"
"When?" I ask, curious
"Oh, just when you were setting up the campfire" She responds quickly. I hum in response and glance over at her
"Does it bother you? I mean, I remember when you told me-" I start, but Cho cuts me off
"I don't mind. It's your life, Hanbin"
"I know, but it can hurt as well-"
"I said I don't mind. As long as you stay as friends" She says, laughing. I nod, my brain freezing. Well.... now I definitely don't know how I'll tell her about Hao and i
I am about to say something when the rustling of a tent being opened can be heard, and Hao's face emerges from underneath it
"Why are you guys so loud?" he asks, eyes still half closed. I snicker to myself but quickly hide the fond smile
"Here. Ricky told me to give this to you" I say, handing him the food that Ricky clearly gave me so that I can eat. Hao smiles lightly before taking it. I feel Cho's small glance of confusion towards me, and I shrug
"I'm not hungry," I say quietly so that Hao can't hear
"Ok.." Cho says, before getting up from the log and walking back to her tent
---
I run to my phone, grabbing it with shaking hands. I haven't done this in ages. I haven't called her in ages. I miss her, but I haven't called her. Why? Because I'll just miss her more.
I scroll through my contacts, my eyes locking in her name written on my screen. I press call, my hands are cold and frozen, even though it's warm. I hesitantly press my phone to my ear, letting the ring of the call consulate me to the very least. It feels like forever until I hear a voice on the other side
"Hello?" ........
"Mom?" I say silently, voice choking. I can practically feel her sweet smile from the other side of the call, hearing my voice
"Hanbin, it's been a while. How are you, sweetie?" She asks, her voice sounds soft, almost delicate, with a hint of sweetness on its side
"Mom.."
"yes, sweetie?"
"Can I come over? I want to visit" ..........
"Are you sure? Won't your dad get angry?" She asks
"Screw dad. He won't know," I say. My mom sighs and gives in
"Of course, you can come. You didn't lose the address did you?" She asks, a hint of laughter in her voice that feels so distant. My heart leaps in hope and contentment, as I quickly grab my keys
"No, mom. I'll be there soon" I say, hanging up instantly. I run downstairs, making sure to tell Jude that I'm leaving. I lock the door behind me before rushing to one of my dad's cars, and opening it harshly before jumping in and preparing myself for what is to come.
He'll kill me. He'll hate me. Screw him
And so, I start the car and carefully drive, sure to not hurt my dad's car. I'm about to see my mom again. After years, I'm about to see her again. I remember my mom calling me almost every day since I had moved in with my dad. Either my dad saw it and threw my phone across the room, or I hung up on her as soon as I saw her name pop across the screen. I missed her too much. I couldn't bear her voice.
I park in front of her house and sigh at a sight I have never seen before.
Her house matches her personality. It's a small and cozy home, big enough for a few rooms, but nothing much. It's covered in nature. The garden is carefully taken care of, with flowers and bushes encircling it. As I look closer, I see fruits as well, growing out of the grass ground. The house is clearly also taken care of, the walls are clean, with the door in the middle, welcoming. It's the perfect home. It seems to radiate happiness.
I guess a mansion isn't really the perfect house.
I slowly walk up to it, my heart beating faster with each step. I'm about to see her again. I knock on the door, my stomach feeling sick, and my eyes tearing up. I hold my breath as someone opens the door, and soon enough, I'm greeted with her signature smile.
I fall into her arms and cry. I cry out all my feelings.
â¡â¡â¡
Also, spoiler or not, this ff is probably going to end soon and I'm so sad cuz I've been enjoying writing this sm ð
I won't give spoilers buttttttttt imma also just say that even tho it's finishing soon, I've been pre-working on the ending as well. And normally when I write something beforehand it'll normally end up good, so hopefully, you guys will like it!
Also, ZB1s cb?????!!!! SO GOOD!!
Bro Yujin and Gyuvin rll killed it in this cb. Tbh, all of them did, but I was so happy at the fact that they gave them more lines than their debut album!
(stream 'Crush' by zb1)