Chapter 43: : Chapter 42

The Words We KeepWords: 1887

I wait for a ding for hours.

It never comes.

Alice sits on the edge of my bed, tells me she’s sorry. I say it’s not her fault. (Even though, maybe it is—a little. For telling us to go inside. For sucking Dad’s bank account dry. For leaving no room in this family for me to ever fall short.) She tells me Micah will be fine.

“He’s tough,” she says.

I nod like the world makes sense. On the dresser, the lily Micah gave me has wilted and browned around the edges, which is just so pathetically sad that I can’t look at it, but I can’t bear to throw it away, either. Before I pop a sleeping pill, I put on Micah’s good vibes only hoodie and check my messages one more time. Nothing. But I do get an email, a two-paragraph nuclear bomb.

I toss my phone away like it’s poison. It lands on my notebook. Full of words.

words. That I thought meant something. Words I thought could get me out of here—out of me.

Page by page, I tear up the words. My fingers ripping them out of existence.

you And then, my fingers turn on me. Find the pink patches on my stomach.

And I rip those out, too.

I pick and pick until the blood coats my fingertips, warm and wonderful.

And I wonder why I ever stopped.

puriderm (v) Cleaning oneself from the outside in, knowing that if you can just reach deep enough, you can pluck out all the bad and leave only the good.

From English + –

(skin)

GUERRILLA POETS REVEALED! Lily Larkin and Micah Mendez are the team behind the random acts of poetry. Update: Micah has been expelled! Anyone heard from Lily?

The truth always comes out. Thanks, Underground!

Told you that guy was trouble Sad he took Lily down with him She probably didn’t mind going down Ew.

What? The mental ones are always the best in bed.

I always knew no one could be perfect! Lily Larkin, what a hypocrite!

She may be nuts, but her poetry was awesome Probably plagiarized