Chapter 9: Chapter Nine

“What happened?” Ben shouted, rushing forward to catch Fitz as he began to topple over.

All at once, the small animals in the area scurried away, birds taking flight into the sky to avoid the loud predators reeking of blood and sweat.

Will was shaking his head over and over, not sure how to form words. He dropped Oak as gently as he could and sat down beside the unconscious wolf.

Oak looked to Ben and swallowed before closing his eyes and shutting down.

Fitz leaned down on his elbow and spit blood onto the forest floor, waving away Ben’s frenzied hands. “We were tracking Oak,” he said between labored breaths. “The guy was almost in Washington.”

Ben looked to Oak but said nothing.

Fitz looked at Oak and then swore.

“We found him as he was feeding, and he was not looking to share the stag he had taken down. We tried to back off, but he was vicious. That’s when Will caught the scent.”

“What scent?” Ben asked sharply.

“We were in another pack’s territory,” Will said quietly.

“I smelled two different Alphas, both powerful. It was a large territory near Astoria. I knew we had to get out before they caught Oak hunting on their lands.”

Fitz nodded. “We were so goddamned focused on the scent of the pack that we didn’t pick up the other scents in the area… we didn’t realize that we had cut across a trail left by Cerberus… it was fresh.”

“Cerberus?” I asked, the question slipping out of my mouth before I could stop it.

Ben’s gaze was steel.

“They’re who we’re running from. Cerberus is a small pack of vigilantes, bounty hunters… They hunt down rogues and drag them back to their former alphas or to the Royals for punishment.”

My head was spinning. “Royals? Bounty hunters?”

Again, the enormity of this new world struck me. How had I been coexisting with this world my whole life without knowing? Especially when it was so large and complex.

“Right now isn’t the time for a history lesson,” Fitz grumbled.

“What happened?” Ben pressed.

“They found us minutes after we found Oak,” Will said. “They weren’t happy you weren’t with us, but they were more than happy to try taking us in. It was…bloody.”

“We barely made it out alive,” Fitz elaborated. “Thank the goddess Oak was territorial over his catch or else we might have been in a very different place right now.

“He fought tooth and nail, but we would have been dead if not for the other pack that showed up.”

Ben nearly jumped out of his skin. “What?”

“I guess their lookout spotted us in their territory,” Will said. “They rushed us shortly after the fighting started.”

“The Alpha”—Fitz shook his head—“he was a fighter.”

“It was the other alpha that scared me,” Will said. “She was a tiny thing, but she was throwing the wolves around like they were nothing. And her mate…”

“We got out as soon as we could,” Fitz said. “We had to knock Oak out after to get him back here.

“We ran as fast as we could with him and walked through a river for most of it, hoping to cover our trail, but they know we are in Oregon, Ben, we need to leave.”

My heart froze as we all turned to Ben, his tawny eyes contemplative. “No,” he said, calming my restless nerves.

Will and Fitz both jumped up, despite their injuries. “Are you out of your mind?” Will shouted.

Fitz was a little more colorful with his language. “Are you kidding me? Is this because of Morda?” he asked, surprising me. “Because she’s your—”

“No,” Ben said again, this time his voice low and full of authority. “Now is not the time, not when they’ll be watching the state borders. The other pack might pose a problem too.

“If they stopped long enough to chat, then they know that we are the real enemy. Packs will always hate rogues, and Cerberus will use that.”

All three of the boys were quiet and withdrawn after that, thinking through their options as they all gazed into the woods, no doubt monitoring any movement while they contemplated.

I stood in silence, one eye trained on Oak and the other on Ben’s face.

“Fuck,” Fitz swore.

And there wasn’t much else anyone could say.

***

I sat at the dinner table that night across from my mother and my aunt.

I had stayed for a few hours with the boys, but there hadn’t been much I could do to help them, so eventually Ben had just told me to go home.

I pushed my food around on my plate as I listened to my mother and aunt talk about nothing and thought over Ben’s predicament.

I thought about his parents and the brand on his arm and his life running from Cerberus, and I could come up with no answers, only more questions.

“Morda?” my mother called. “Are you not hungry?”

I heard my aunt click her tongue. “Demeter would not be happy to know you wasted her harvest.”

I looked up at the two of them, and for whatever reason, I lost it. “Were you never going to tell me that I’m a witch?” I blurted.

My mother looked as though she had been struck; my aunt just looked smug.

“Were you just going to let me live my whole life thinking that you were normal and I was normal and we lived in a freaking normal world?”

“Morda—”

“Can you not trust me?” I asked, my voice squeezing higher at the end. “Did you not think I could handle it? Because I can.”

“Hun—”

“And what? You guys have the same mother and just let me assume otherwise? And all of your garbage tricks aren’t tricks at all, you really read the tarot cards and tell people their fortunes?

“And all the stuff you sell at the shop…all that stuff really works?”

“Kid—” my aunt started.

I stood from my seat. “Were you just going to keep me in the dark forever? Like you do with my father? When are you going to stop treating me like a child and let me grow up?”

I didn’t know how much those thoughts had been weighing on me until I had blurted them all out, and I felt nothing but relief.

I was breathing hard, but I felt like every breath came in and left with a little less difficulty.

“Morda,” my mother said softly, “I was going to tell you, of course I was going to tell you, but there wasn’t a point until your powers manifested. And of course, ~of course~, I trust you, Morda.

“But when you were little… I couldn’t risk it. There are much larger forces at work, and if you had blurted it to a friend or bragged to a group of bullies, then it could have been the end of our family.”

I looked to my aunt, expecting her to make some sort of joke, but she only nodded, her face grave.

“Okay,” I caved, “but once I was sixteen…you could have told me then.”

“Which is what I wanted!” my aunt piped.

My mother cut her a dry look. “I went back and forth between telling you and letting you live in a normal world for a little longer.

“You were having such a tough time at school, and I wasn’t sure if telling you would help or hurt you, so I stayed silent.”

“And when I turned eighteen? When I graduated?”

“Morda,” my mother pleaded, “don’t make this difficult. I was going to tell you, I was going to tell you sometime this week, especially after this past Sunday.

“You are just so young, Morda, it wouldn’t have hurt to let you be just a human girl for a little while longer.”

I felt tears burn in my eyes despite myself. “Do you know how it feels to learn that you’ve been on the outside of your own family? It hurts, Mom. It sucks.”

My mother stood and came around the table to embrace me. I let her, despite the anger I felt toward her.

I pressed my face into her shoulder, picking up her shampoo from her hair and burned sage and her lavender skin lotion. The concoction was so familiar that it began to calm me down immediately.

My mother gently placed her hands on either side of my face and pulled back far enough so she could look in my eyes.

“You are a witch, Morda, you are a part of a strong clan of women who have held magic in their hands since the world began.

“You are my daughter, my only child, and you will inherit all the gifts I have and all the gifts of the mothers before me. You belong to the moon and the earth, and you belong to me and to yourself.

“You have magic, and you will wield it so you can better this world for your daughter.”

I heard those words and felt their truth settle into my bones. I was a witch, and I was going to be powerful. I had a place in this world; I belonged to something bigger than myself.

I wasn’t alone or a freak or just a girl. I was something other. I was something beautiful and ancient and strong.

My mother’s smile was so bright, so full of pride.

“You are my world, Morda, the only thing that has mattered in my long life. And I would never, ~never~, deny you your right to claim this world for what it truly is.”

I hadn’t realized I was crying until she brushed away my tears and laughed, tucking my heavy hair over my shoulder and squeezing my face tightly. “I love you, Morda.”

“I love you too,” I told her, pulling her into a fierce hug.

“And everyone loves me,” my aunt said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “Now for the fun stuff!”

I looked over my shoulder at her and raised an eyebrow. “Magic?”

A laugh peeled from her throat. “Magic? No way, punk, you are nowhere near trained enough to start wielding magic. You get to do something else instead.”

My aunt held up one ringed finger to tell me to wait as she disappeared into the other room and then reemerged with a dusty book in her hands.

I felt excitement thrum through me, imagining a family heirloom filled with anecdotes from my ancestors or an ancient grimoire filled with spells and potions.

What I got was ~A Teen’s Guide to All Things Magic and Mystical.~

The book was old, but it wasn’t ancient old, it was from the early ’90s.

I took the book from my aunt and frowned at the girl on the front, her belly button piercing winking at me from underneath a bright-green mesh shirt and denim ~skort~.

“What is this?” I asked, flipping through the pages and catching phrases like ~charm your boyfriend into taking you on the best dates!~ and ~just say no to black magic!~

“I picked it up for you when you were born,” my aunt said. “If you read between the lines, there is some good stuff in there.”

My mother grimaced. “I thought I threw that out years ago… sorry, Morda.”

My aunt scowled at her and then at me. “I’ve been waiting eighteen years to see the look on your face when you opened that book, Morda, don’t deny me my auntly right.”

I plastered a smile on my face. “Thank you, Aunt Robin, I’ll memorize every word.”

My aunt beamed at me. “Then we can free your magic next full moon.”

I all but forgot about the book in my hands. “Next full moon?”

“Not the one that’s tomorrow,” my mother said, “the one after.”

I tried to cover my disappointment. I could wait another month. I had waited eighteen years, so I ~could~ wait another month. “Okay,” I said, “okay.”

“Besides,” my mother said with a cheeky smile, “there’s a lot of things you should know before you're jumping on a broomstick and taking to the skies.”

My face went slack.

Both my mother and aunt burst out into laughter, and I felt my cheeks burn. “You are so gullible, Mordy,” my aunt shrieked.

“You should have told this kid years ago, Lila, think of all the fun we could have had. Flying broomsticks, ha!”

“So no flying?” I asked.

My mother smiled and shook her head.

“No hooked noses, no warts, no pointy chins, no striped stockings or pointed hats. No evil cackling or bubbling cauldrons or ritual sacrifices.

“No eating children, no turning into black cats or only wearing black for that matter. No—”

“She gets it, Robin,” my mother interrupted. “Nothing you know or believe is true.”

“So what is true?”

My mother went to open her mouth, but my aunt butted in. “Read the book!”

With a quick glare shot to my aunt, my mother turned and looked to me, holding her hand out just in front of her face with her palm open and facing upward.

A tiny spark and then a flame grew from her skin, crackling and hissing.

I felt something deep inside me shift, and I knew my life was never going to be the same.

My mother watched my face with such unleashed enjoyment that I couldn’t help but grin for her. She winked, and then the flame was a flower—the petals made of flame, the stem from ash.

My aunt coughed, and the book in my hands opened to a page titled, ~Gettin’ Jiggy with Elemental Magic!~

Folding her fingers into her palm, the flame in my mother’s hand disappeared.

“Show me more!”

“Read, punk,” my aunt said, picking up her plate and taking it into the kitchen. Dinner was cold, and I hadn’t eaten anything, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t think about anything but that flame.

“Just wait, Morda,” my mother said with a smile. She picked up her plate and mine, and with a subtle movement of her wrist, our cups were following her through the air.

I watched, mesmerized, until she and the cups were in the kitchen and out of sight.

I looked down at the book in front of me and started to read.

***

A few days later, I was sprawled on the lawn of Roseburg’s public library, finishing off the last few pages of ~A Teen’s Guide to All Things Magic and Mystical.~

My aunt had been right, underneath all the cringe-worthy ’90s slang and Hollywood teenage garbage was some interesting although useless knowledge.

I was pretty sure I would never need to know how to tie-dye my tube tops using witchcraft, but I was excited to know what was possible.

I felt something heavy in the air and looked up to see the silver man, Grant, across the lawn.

He was talking with an elderly lady with a nametag on, supposedly a library worker whom he had caught on her break.

Almost like magnetism, he caught my stare and left the library lady mid-sentence as he made his way over to me. Panic flared hot and bright for a moment as I debated what to do with my aunt’s book.

I shoved it under my butt and winced as I felt the spine dig into my flesh. It was either I sat on the book or had the mysterious silver Grant mock me for the ridiculous text.

“Witch,” he greeted, peering down at me. He was almost ethereal under the noon sun. The sheer strength and size of him overshadowed by his coloring in the high sun.

“Werewolf,” I shot right back, hoping I had him pinned correctly. The tensing around his mouth told me I was right. “Are you stalking me?”

The man looked across the street and then over his other shoulder before taking a seat next to me. The proximity moved something in me, something that I was trying to ignore.

Being close to him, it was almost like it charged my body with a sort of energy I wasn’t used to.

“We’re going to be near each other from now on,” Grant said. “It’s a side effect.”

I was almost afraid to ask; my mouth was dry. If I was smart, I would have left it alone, but… “A side effect of what?”

“The mating bond,” Grant told me, his voice collected and cool. His eyes and mouth were tight, though, betraying him. He was nervous.

I sat very still, my breath freezing in my lungs as my entire body lost heat despite the summer sun.

“Mating bond,” I repeated, knowing by the way he said it and the way he was looking at me that this wasn’t something that was taken lightly.

An odd thrill went through me followed by a heavy dose of dread.

The man nodded. “When I looked at you last Sunday, I knew.” I recalled the moment we locked gazes, when his eyes had darkened, when I had been struck immobile.

“It’s also when I knew that you had werewolf blood in you.”

I felt my stomach roll and had to close my eyes against a bout of nausea. This was all beginning to take its toll, starting to be too much for me to handle and process. “I can’t…”

“It isn’t ideal,” Grant said, “it’s actually a real fucking joke, but we don’t get to choose.”

My mind flashed to Ben, and then my stomach was rolling and cresting and forming an undertow. I was going to be sick. I was going to faint. “Mating bond…”

“Luckily, I have no parents to disappoint and no pack to dishonor.”

I couldn’t breathe. My throat was suddenly sealed shut, and my head was spinning. With every breath I couldn’t draw, my head spun faster and my hands started to shake a little harder. “I don’t… I—”

“I figure you don’t know much about how this all works,” Grant said, rubbing the back of his neck, “neither do I really. The only mated couples I’ve been around have all been neurotic.”

“I—” I vomited all over the grass. I heard Grant’s voice rise in pitch as I fell forward on my hands and dry heaved, my stomach finally giving out under the pressure of my headache.

And then my vision was dancing with black spots, and then the black spots joined until I couldn’t see anything at all.

The next time I blinked, I was looking at open blue sky. And then Grant’s face was hovering over mine, brows knitted with worry and mouth spitting out a hundred words I couldn’t hear.

“Stop,” I groaned, feeling sick again. “You’re going to give me another panic attack.”

Grant’s touch was hesitant, but when his fingers finally made contact with the side of my neck, I was able to relax.

I cursed my body for having such a potent reaction to his touch, for craving it the moment he lifted his fingers to touch my hair.

“Vomiting wasn’t the reaction I was looking for,” he admitted dryly.

I heard an onslaught of sound as our conversation came back to me. I heard what he thought of whatever bond we supposedly shared.

Heard how he was relieved he had no one to disappoint, and I felt my entire body recoil.

I pulled myself away from his touch and pushed myself up, collecting my aunt’s book and tucking it under my arm as I stood.

I kept my face high, trying not to look at the very obvious pile of vomit at my feet.

“Fuck you.” I felt a rush of power surge through me as it flushed my skin and sent my heart hammering. I had never told anyone off like that, never had the confidence to.

Grant sat dumbfounded before me, silver eyes running over my face.

“What?”

“Fuck you for all those things you said. You find out I’m your… what? Mate?

“And then you say those awful things, make me feel bad for who I am because of some stupid connection you think you have to me? Well, fuck you.”

Grant stood, forcing me to lift my eyes to his. “You can’t blame me for that reaction. I can’t say I’m happy to be mated to a moon daughter, it doesn’t make things any easier.

“If I had wanted a mate at all, I would have preferred someone in my own species.”

I folded my arms across my chest, feeling my aunt’s book there to remind me of my heritage, of the strength I knew I would someday have.

“Yeah, well, if I had known what a mate was ten minutes ago, you would have been the last person I wanted as one anyway.”

“Maybe we should just reject each other and get that out of the way, witch.”

I was confused by his words. His body language told me that whatever this rejection was, it meant something serious and that he didn’t care.

But his eyes held a spark of fear that contradicted the rest of him, as though he was afraid I would take him up on his offer.

“I don’t have time for this,” I said. “I don’t have time to bicker with you.”

Grant opened his mouth and then closed it quickly, looking surprised by the fact that he was speechless.

I took that as my opportunity and left, fleeing across the lawn as I headed for the forest, headed for a pair of golden eyes while trying to ignore the silver ones still following me.