Chapter 4: Chapter Four

~“Are you?”~

I started as I woke, blinking my eyes rapidly and pushing myself up onto my elbow as Ben’s voice drifted farther away.

The fire had died, but the smell of burning wood was still hanging in the air. I rubbed a hand over my face and reached for my phone to check the time. It was dead.

“You’re awake.”

I jumped again, looking up to meet Ben’s eyes before closing my own. I swallowed a few times, wishing I hadn’t been so picky about the water earlier.

I sat up fully and opened my eyes, looking around to find that the night had progressed, but the power hadn’t returned.

“I am,” I stated dryly, cringing as my throat itched.

“You’re thirsty,” Ben said.

I winced.

Ben stalked into the kitchen and got me another glass of water, which I gulped down without scrutinizing the quality.

After I was sure I wasn’t going to die from dehydration, I had enough focus to realize that the temperature had dropped severely.

“Why didn’t you rebuild the fire?” I asked.

Ben looked at the sizzling coals and shrugged. “You fell asleep,” he said, “didn’t seem like you were going to get much enjoyment out of it if you weren’t conscious.”

“Enjoyment,” I muttered, “what about warmth?”

Ben frowned. “Are you—”

The front door suddenly flew open and in burst two boys, both soaking wet. I felt my throat clamp shut and scrambled onto my feet, grabbing my bag and hugging it against my chest as I backed into the wall.

Ben stood too but didn’t seem to be surprised or panicked. His lack of reaction calmed mine and spiked my curiosity. Obviously he knew the intruders.

I looked at them with a fresh set of eyes and was surprised to find that I didn’t know them at all. That meant three newcomers to my tiny town in less than a week.

“Benjamin!” the taller boy shouted. His grin stretched the length of his entire face and showed off oversized teeth accompanied by a gap between his front two.

“You missed an amazing run, bud. The woods around here are incredible.”

“Good to hear it, Fitz,” Ben mumbled back, eyes darting over to me.

“Who’s that?” the other guy asked, dark eyes squinting. I held my breath as the two came closer, both of them approaching with furrowed brows and puzzled expressions.

The short one came the closest and sucked in a large breath, holding it high up in his chest as he stared.

When he exhaled, his expression changed to one of anger, which he directed at Ben.

“What are you playing at?” he asked sharply. “Are you trying to get us all caught? Are you trying to get us all killed?”

“No,” Ben replied.

The short guy’s face turned red and then dark purple. “No? Then why is she here?”

Fitz shuffled on his feet, eyeing me with a mixture of fear and curiosity. “I agree with Will,” he said, “she shouldn’t be here.”

“And the fact that she knows we are here is reason enough for us to leave.”

I looked quickly at Ben, trying to gauge his reaction. Something about the idea of him leaving made my stomach twist with discomfort.

I didn’t want him to leave because he provoked so many questions. After living in a town this small, you get to be very familiar with answers.

Ben was stoic. “You’re overreacting, Will,” he said, “just like you overreacted in Philadelphia, and North Dakota, and New Hampshire, and California.”

Will started pacing. “You think I’m paranoid. Well—fine! Maybe I am paranoid, but I saved our skin in Ohio!”

Will glanced at me and then glared at Ben. “This girl is only the start, Ben, we can’t get close to people.”

Ben didn’t look my way.

“She was outside the house, and it started to rain, she came inside, and the power went off. I wasn’t going to send her packing because that would have been rude. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“And there was a wolf,” I added.

Will jumped. “A wolf?” he nearly shrieked. “You saw a wolf?”

I nodded. “It almost attacked me, but Ben came out and scared it off.”

This time, both Will and Fitz glared at Ben. “Great,” Will muttered, “just great.”

Ben sighed. “It wasn’t a big deal.”

Fitz came close to Ben and grabbed his shoulder, bending down to whisper something in his ear. I only picked up a few words: oak and feed.

As soon as Fitz let go of Ben, he was striding toward the door, heading out into the rain without any hesitancy.

“What if she blabs?” Will asked. “What if they see her leaving the woods and find us? What if—”

“What if you just talked to her before jumping to crazy conclusions?” Ben asked.

When Will remained stubbornly silent, Ben shook his head and left the room, pushing his way through the front door and after Fitz without another word.

I eyed up Will and felt my stomach clench. Anger flared hot and bright for a moment at Ben who left me in the midst of a hostile conversation.

Will shook his head and grumbled something to himself, moving to restart the fire.

“Do you want a sweater?” he asked, looking up at me out of the corner of his eye.

“No,” I said, throat tight, “no thank you.”

Will sighed. “I’ll get the fire started, but you should let me get you a sweater, you’re fragile, you’ve been out in the rain, it’s chilly in here, and you could catch a cold.

“If you catch a cold and let it go untreated, then it could progress into something worse—pneumonia or bronchitis.”

“A sweater would be great.”

Will grunted and got the fire going before heading upstairs to change and grab a hoodie for me to wear.

I let out a long breath and set my bag on the dusty couch before settling back onto the cushion I had been occupying earlier on the floor.

I sat in the silence for a long while, listening to the rain fall and the distant thrums of thunder and lightning.

I mulled over the earlier conversation, attempting to pick out pieces and put together some sort of theory that made sense.

What were Ben and his friends running from? And how would I compromise their safety?

“Here,” Will said, reentering the room and draping a sweater over my lap, “it’s Ben’s.”

A weird thrill ran through me as I pulled the sweatshirt over my head. I had never been close enough with a boy to wear his clothes.

There was something about the extra material at my waist and hands coupled with the musky, foreign smell that made me both nervous and comfortable.

“Thanks,” I mumbled, folding the extra material over my hands.

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier,” Will said. “It’s not your fault it started to rain and the power went out. I just wish Ben had left you outside.”

I waited for Will to catch his mistake, and he did. “Not that I wanted you to get wet and get a cold, but I don’t want you here. Well—it’s not that I don’t want you here, I just…”

“It’s okay,” I said, “I don’t want to be here, and I’ll be gone as soon as I can be.”

“That wolf you saw earlier, you said it tried to attack you?”

I nodded. “Yeah, it was petrifying.”

“It wouldn’t have hurt you,” he assured me. “I think it was just curious about you. I really don’t think he would have done you any harm.”

Will moved so he was sitting beside me and reached out to readjust the firewood. “It was a good thing Ben was there anyway.”

“Have you known Ben for a long time?”

“Not really,” Will said, “we just sort of ended up together a few years back. We sort of stick around each other out of convenience now.”

I looked at him as directly as I could.

“What you were saying before, it sounds like you guys are on the run from something. Did you do something bad? Is that why you’re afraid to have me around? Because you think I’ll find out and tell?”

Will shifted and then stood. “I’ve already said too much.”

I stood with him. “You can trust me, I—” I stopped myself short. They had no reason to trust me, and I had no reason to want them to. I wasn’t a part of their gang, and I didn’t want to be.

Will smiled, but his eyes remained dark. “There is no one we can trust.” I tilted my head to the side, examining him a little closer.

His hair was dark and cropped short to his scalp, his hands had light scars running along his dark skin, his chest was wide, and his muscles were bulky. At first sight, Will was intimidating.

There was no physical reason for him to be as afraid as he was.

I shivered then, realizing that whatever it was Ben and his friends were running from, it was enough to scare three physically imposing guys into hiding.

“We’re back,” Fitz announced as he and Ben rushed through the door. I glimpsed the sky just as lightning lit it up and thunder rolled below us.

Ben closed the door behind him and shook out his hair, tawny eyes finding mine.

“You both need to dry off,” Will said, “you could—”

“Get sick,” Fitz finished, rolling his eyes. “I’m constantly running at over a hundred degrees Fahrenheit. I’m sure I can shake off a little rain, Will.”

Ben moved over to me silently, placing a few fingers at my elbow and making my entire body radiate with heat. “Are you all right? I’m sorry I left, me and Fitz had to take care of something.”

I blinked and swallowed. “Yeah—I’m, uh, I’m fine.”

He released me and took a quick step back, appraising what I was wearing.

He met my eyes and said nothing, but there was something about the look he gave me that made me blush and pull the sweater tighter around me.

“You’ll have to bunk here for the rest of the night,” Fitz said as he plopped down on the couch. He made a face when he realized the cushions were on the floor and readjusted.

“It’s raining so hard out there I considered building an ark.”

“Maybe we should check all the rooms for leaking,” Will offered. “This is an old house, and the foundation could have cracks.”

Fitz rolled his eyes. “The house is fine. This couch on the other hand…”

I could tell that as soon as an idea was in Will’s head there was no getting rid of it. He squirmed for a few moments before taking off to appraise the roof.

Fitz made a sound in his throat as he watched his friend leave and peeled off his soaked sweater.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“Morda,” I told him. “What were you guys doing out in the rain?”

Fitz smiled. “We were tying down the firewood and making sure the shed out back was locked. The wind is pretty strong out there, and we need both intact.”

I nodded and reached for my bag, rifling through it as an excuse to avoid conversation. The longer Ben was gone and Fitz stared at me, the more uncomfortable I became.

I picked my dead phone out of my bag and held it up for Fitz to see.

“No chance you guys would have a charger?”

Fitz laughed and shook his head. “No way Will would let us carry cellphones. According to him, that’s the easiest way to be tracked.” He laughed. “Even if we did, the power is out.”

I leaned forward and put my phone back in my bag. “You guys seem pretty worried about being found out here. Who could be looking hard enough to find you in Roseburg?”

“Tracking is easier for some…people than it is for others.”

“What did you guys do?” I asked, waiting boldly for a reply.

Fitz’s eyes left mine and hovered just behind and above me. I turned and nearly jumped, finding Ben standing directly behind me.

He didn’t smile as he came to sit beside me, just reached into the fire and adjusted the wood.

I stared at the side of Ben’s face, watching as the flames cast dancing shadows. Surely he felt my gaze, but he didn’t turn to meet it.

I tilted my head and sucked in a deep breath, trying to think of something to say to break the awkward silence that kept building up.

“The house, surprisingly, is leak free,” Will announced as he walked back into the room. He sat down beside Fitz and frowned at the distinct lack of cushioning.

When the room lapsed into another round of silence, I began to understand that these boys weren’t friends. They didn’t choose to be together, it was purely out of convenience.

I stood and grabbed my bag. “If I can’t go home, I’d like to find a bed to sleep in. Does this house have any bedrooms?” The three boys exchanged looks. “Well?”

Ben stood alongside me and glared at the other two. “You can sleep in my room.”

“Of course, you would take the girl,” Fitz said. “Ben the fearless leader gets everything and anything he wants.” I didn’t like the way he looked me over.

Ben went rigid beside me and placed a hand on the small of my back. He pushed gently, steering me toward the staircase.

Once we were halfway up, I turned to him and tried to catch his eye. He let his arm fall and cleared his throat as he told me to turn right.

“Why do you live with them?” I asked. “You don’t seem to like each other.”

“They can still hear you,” Ben informed me. When he caught my look, he smiled. “Thin walls, old house, sound travels.”

Ben ushered me into his room and closed the door behind us, spiking my heart rate and making my palms grow warm.

I was incredibly nervous. I had never been alone in a room with a bed and a boy.

I tried to play it cool by throwing my things onto the bed and touring the room with my arms crossed over my chest, pretending to examine picture frames and knickknacks I knew didn’t belong to Ben.

“You can sleep here,” he said. Ben rubbed the back of his neck as he looked me over. “Do you need anything? Do you want to borrow some different clothes to sleep in… maybe a pair of boxers or—”

I held up a hand. “I already grabbed a sweater.” And even that was too much. “I’ll be okay.”

Ben seemed eager to push past the subject. “Bathroom is down the hall. I’ll leave the door open so you can find it. I don’t know how comfortable the bed is; I’ve never used it.”

“Where do you sleep?” I asked.

Ben’s smile only stretched up one half of his face. “Good night, Morda.”

Ben left, and I was alone. I set my phone on the bedside table, more out of habit than out of need. I thought of my mother as I peeled back the covers and adjusted the pillow.

Hopefully, she had accepted my text and gone to bed herself. Knowing her, though, she was up worrying while my aunt Robin rolled her eyes and told her she was an idiot.

My mother couldn’t help it, though. She had raised me herself. She never had a partner to watch me while her back was turned.

I had made it because of her diligence, and it was hard for her to let that go, even for a night.

The bed creaked as soon as I settled into it, groaning under my weight and screaming when I turned.

I shivered lightly, pulling the cool sheets tighter to my body and wishing I hadn’t abandoned the fire downstairs.

The room was just as dusty and unused as the rest of the house. The mirror was covered in grime and slung with cobwebs.

The books on the shelf were yellowed and wilting along with a vase of flowers set up on the windowsill.

The storm was still raging outside. From where I was lying, I could see the rain slanting as it fell in sheets.

Lightning struck every now and then, accompanied by the rumbling of thunder. I could see a few trees that had fallen over just beyond Ben’s property line.

I stood up and moved to the window, sitting on the sill and pressing my hand against the cool glass. I followed two raindrops racing each other to the bottom, taking sporadic paths as they fell.

Just as the raindrops reached the bottom of the windowpane, my eyes caught a shape moving just beyond the first row of trees.

I frowned and placed my other hand on the window, leaning forward so my breath was fanning over the glass, fogging it up more with each exhale.

I squinted and focused my gaze, trying to spot what I had seen before.

When I saw it, I froze. The wolf was back. It was sitting just behind the tree line. The wolf was staring up at the house, staring up at me. From its jaws hung a black bird, wings bent and broken.

I held my breath as I stared down at the animal, waiting for it to move on. Thunder rumbled in the distance, but the wolf wasn’t perturbed; it just sat still, staring up at the house.

I jerked away from the window and drew the lacy curtains across it, cutting off my view but unable to cut off the line of thoughts that were running circles around my mind.

I crawled into bed with a new type of chill covering my body.

I closed my eyes and thought of the wolf holding the broken body of the bird. I thought of the way it stared up at me, thought of its eyes, and thought of Ben.

Its eyes were the same tawny gold, had the same fearless stare.

Lightning lit up the small room, and thunder followed immediately. Intertwined with the deep rumble was the eerie call of a lone wolf.

***

I woke up with the blankets knotted around my knees and the pillows strewn all over the floor. I sighed and stretched, scrunching my face as I realized just how much discomfort a night in jeans gets you.

“Morning.”

I yelped and jumped up, reaching for the sheets despite being fully covered in jeans and Ben’s hoodie. Fitz grinned at me from the doorway, arms crossed as he leaned against the wall.

I looked around and caught the time; it was already well past eleven.

I jumped up and grabbed my phone, swearing as I realized again that it didn’t have any charge.

I looked up at Fitz and glared, pushing my heavy hair over my shoulder as I yanked on my shoes and slung my backpack over my shoulders.

“Why did you guys let me sleep for so long?”

Fitz shrugged. “Ben was out early this morning, assessing the damage to the property, and Will was afraid to wake you up in case you didn’t get a full eight hours.

“You should ask him about the effects of sleep deprivation one day; the conversation is riveting.”

“I need to go home,” I said. “I should have left earlier.”

“You looked pretty comfortable,” Fitz teased. “We all heard you snoring from the kitchen.”

I blushed and pushed past him to hide it, heading for the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and frowned.

My hair was full of knots and static, and my eyes were ringed with sleep and crumbling mascara.

“I’ll let Ben and Will know you’re up; Will made everyone breakfast.”

“I’m not staying for breakfast,” I said. “I have to get home.”

Fitz frowned. “Come on now, Will might freak if you don’t get in the most important meal of the day.” He smiled. “And I know you want to see more of Ben.”

“I—”

“You’re still wearing his sweatshirt,” Fitz pointed out. “You like the feeling of being connected to him.”

I looked at Fitz through the mirror and then looked down at myself. I hated that he was right.

I hated that I was desperate enough to cling onto a sweater that belonged to a boy just so I could feel like one of those girls who got to wear them all the time.

“I’ll be down in a few minutes,” I said.

Fitz left, and I took to combing my hair and washing my face and the other morning pleasantries.

When I was sure I looked as good as I was going to get, I sent myself a quick smile to reassure myself through the mirror and took off down the stairs.

The kitchen was buzzing with activity. Ben was setting the table, Will was flying over the stove, and Fitz was trying his best to sneak food into his mouth when he thought neither of them were looking.

All the activity stopped when I entered the room. Fitz smiled at me, bacon hanging out of his mouth.

Will nodded to himself as if he was relieved to see that I made it through the night, and Ben just stared, first at his sweater, which was clenched in my hand, and then at my face.

“Morning,” I mumbled.

“Scrambled or sunny-side up?” Will asked. From the smell of sizzling food, I figured that the power was back on and running.

Ben directed me to a seat and smiled briefly. I looked up at Will and shrugged. “Whatever you guys want, I’m easy.”

“You’re the guest,” Fitz said, dropping a piece of toast as Will smacked his hand.

“Scrambled,” I said.

Fitz raised his eyebrows. “Ben’s favorite.”

Ben sat across from me, body directed toward the trees. “How did you sleep?”

“Good, thanks,” I said, “and you?”

“Ben barely sleeps,” Fitz said, taking the seat next to me and knocking his shoulder against mine.

Will set down four plates on the table along with cups and a pitcher of orange juice.

The toast was stacked dangerously high in the middle of the table, and the brunch was nicely accompanied by a shining sky and happy birdsongs just outside the windows.

The boys wasted no time in starting. All three of them ate like the food was about to disappear any minute.

I picked around the edges of my plate, feeling nervous as I watched the time tick by and feeling too self-conscious to eat as I normally would in front of three strangers.

Fitz elbowed me. “Aren’t you eating?”

“Is something wrong with the food?” Will asked, looking concerned.

“No, I—”

“Chicks never want to eat in front of guys,” Fitz said. “They don’t want to look fat.”

Ben frowned. “Is it your mother?”

“She’ll be worried,” I said, scooping a forkful of eggs into my mouth just to spite Fitz.

“I’ll walk you home,” Ben said, throwing his napkin over his food and standing.

Will frowned. “She needs to eat breakfast, Ben. It’s important that she—”

“She can eat at home, Will,” Ben rumbled. “She’ll make it just fine until then.”

I stood as Ben came around to my side, placing his hand on the small of my back again. We almost made it out of the kitchen before I stopped and pulled my camera from my bag.

I lifted it up and quickly snapped a candid of the boys as they ate.

“Thanks for letting me stay the night,” I said to them, smiling down at the picture before returning my camera to my bag. “I’ll see you later.”

Fitz looked at Ben and grinned. “I’m sure we’ll be seeing lots of you around, Morda.”

Ben grumbled something and applied a little pressure to my back, pushing us both out of the kitchen and then out of the house. Ben’s step fell in sync with mine as we walked.

The ground was moist, and water was still falling from the lower branches of trees despite the blaring sun.

The sounds of the forest had returned; no longer were the birds and squirrels drowned out by the thunder and lightning. The woods felt light and airy, full of life and wonder again.

This was the type of feeling I always wanted to capture through my lens.

“I hope it wasn’t too weird for you,” Ben said, “being around Fitz and Will. They can be a lot to handle, but they are good guys.”

I pressed my lips into a tight smile. “I was just happy you guys didn’t throw me out to face the elements last night. The only thing I dislike more than the rain and the dark is when they are combined.”

Ben nodded and stuck his hands in his pockets, leading me through the woods with an ease too premature for the amount of time he’d lived there.

“I was wondering,” he started as we breached the edge between the forest and town, “if you’d like to go out with me some time.”

I froze where I was, long grass tickling my ankles. I looked Ben over, read the subtle signs of anxiety and fear. He was worried I’d say no. He was nervous to ask.

I felt a thrill run up my body, right from my feet to my temples.

“You want to take me out?” I repeated. “Like on a date?”

Ben shrugged. “If you’re going to keep my clothes, we may as well try our hand at going out.”

I frowned at him before realizing that I was still clutching his hoodie. I shook my head as a blush rose to my face and handed it back to him. He took it with a smile and waited.

“I think a date would be nice.” I didn’t recognize my own voice as I answered. It was like an alien version of myself had slipped under my skin and taken control.

It felt like this interaction was secondary to me, like I didn’t have full access to the moment. “Won’t you upset your friends by seeing me, though? It didn’t seem like Will wanted me around.”

Ben smiled. “I told you, they’re not my friends.”

I returned his smile hesitantly. “Thanks again, for last night.”

“I’ll see you around.”