As the sun dawned on London, the streets began to flood with those off to begin their work, making it increasingly difficult for Vincent to rush back to the Humphrey townhouse. Matt sat across from him in the cabin, his head resting back as he feigned sleep. If Vincent had been less distracted, he might have noticed the slight crack between his brother's lids from which he watched Vincent fidget uncomfortably in the carriage, or perhaps remark on how suddenly the man 'wakened' when the vehicle finally pulled to a stop.
Almost instantly, Vincent flung open the door and dismounted, trotting up the few steps to the front door and pressing his way hurriedly inside. He ignored the butler and the footman he was lecturing in muted tones, and moved intentionally towards the closest common space; the study. It was, he reasoned, the most likely space his brothers and Thomas would have retreated to following the events of the evening.
He opened the door, and froze. He was correct â all three men were in the room, seated in armchairs with steaming cups of tea â but he had not formulated more of a plan than finding Thomas. Their gazes connected, the surprise in Thomas' eyes giving way to tension in his jaw as he deliberately looked away and took a painful gulp of tea. Vincent watched him unwaveringly; they were in dire need of a conversation.
Vincent's awkward hovering was disrupted almost immediately as Matt collided with him. There were grunts of surprise and pain from both parties, and the younger brother stepped into the room, vigorously rubbing his forehead.
"May I formally request," he said, bee-lining for the rum, "That no more excitement happens before dawn?"
Either he was oblivious to the stares of his eldest brothers â one a glare, the other accompanied by a resigned shake of a head â or a lifetime of ignoring their censure was paying off. He poured a small draught, threw it back, and then poured another couple of fingers before finding a chaise to collapse onto.
Simon nodded, taking a sip of his tea. "I do think we've earned a break. Particularly the two of you." He dipped his head towards Thomas and Vincent, but looked away before he noticed the heat rise in his brother's cheeks.
"I arranged food and lodging for the women for the next little while. I thought once you've had some sleep that you might want to take Lupe to them and see what they'd like to happen next. We could arrange passage back to Spain for them, I suppose, or find them work here?" He ran a hand across his eyes. "But those are decisions that can be made on more sleep."
To Vincent, sleep was not the priority, but he was grateful that Simon had sorted the things that were beyond him in that moment. All he needed was to speak with Thomas in private.
Thomas cleared his throat, more from necessity than to draw the attention of the room though it did accomplish that. "On that note, gentlemen," he said, setting his teacup down on the end table and pushing himself to his feet. His charming smile was fixed firmly in place. "I'd best be off."
Vincent stiffened as his brothers acknowledged him with dips of their head and wished him good sleep.
"I wasn't aware you had a place in London," Matthew commented lightly, "Given how many nights you stayed here." He took a small sip of his drink.
Thomas ignored him. His eyes, which seemed to have already travelled every corner of the room, came to rest on Vincent. His practiced smile faded a little, the emotion in his eyes darkening, but if he meant to convey some hidden message, Vincent didn't know what it was. Thomas dipped his head slightly. "Vincent."
He'd taken a step before Vincent could even process the goodbye.
A second as he called after him. "Thomas..."
And he was already out of the room before Vincent remembered to give chase; he was owed a conversation after all.
As the pair departed, Simon and Bart exchanged a look edged with confusion. Matt let out a small sigh, finishing his drink, before slapping his hands lightly on his thighs.
"Come along, gentleman," he said, somehow both earnest and jovial, "I believe this is something you should both see."
In the hallway, Vincent was almost jogging. "Thomas," he called as his outstretched arm tapped lightly against the other man's shoulder.
"What, Vincent?" He turned sharply, pulling away from his touch. "What?"
Despite the man's irritation and his proximity, Vincent did not move away. "I... the..." He let out a small noise of frustration; his stutter had never been more inconvenient than that moment. "You're leaving?"
Thomas swallowed. "There is no place for me here."
Vincent shook his head. "I disagree."
"You can't-"
"I can."
"But you-"
Vincent interjected with a quick huff of air. "Stop trying to rescue me for a second and listen to me." His cheeks were warm, his breathing quick, and he waited a good moment to make sure Thomas would hear him out. "If... You..." His lip twitched, but Thomas waited for him. "I'm sorry for what I said. I was confused and I... I felt like an impediment." He couldn't help his gaze fluttering to the floor, frowning at the marble as that confession resonated in his chest.
"An impediment?" The question was laced with surprise. "To what?"
Vincent blinked. Slowly, he raised his chin, pinning Thomas with a confused frown. "To you." It felt ridiculous to explain what was so obvious. "An impediment to your friendships, your ambitions, your... happiness."
Thomas shook his head, letting out a huff. "You're not making any sense."
"You... when... I have burdened those I care about for my entire life." He took a half a step closer as he listed the ways against his fingers. "They have had to accommodate me, explain me, interpret me, and wait for me. I have hampered them at every turn, and I could not bear it if you felt that way too."
"Vincent." The direction of the gentle call of his name startled the man, and he tossed a surprised glance over his shoulder to find his three brothers watching them from the study doorway. On this rare occasion, their expressions matched; they were hurt.
Vincent's eyes shuttered in a mix of guilt and frustration. He had only enough energy to be mindful of the feelings of one man in that room and he had made his choice.
"Just... Can..."
Simon took a step forward. "You have never been a burden to us, Vincent. I'm so sorry that you have felt that way."
Ah. They were not hurt by him, they were hurt for him.
Simon's smile was gentle as he continued. "You are our brother and you-"
Vincent did not have time for this. He cut him off.
"I... if... Forgive me, Simon." He waved a hand in Thomas' direction. "But Thomas and I must finish our conversation."
He turned back to Thomas, missing Simon's bemused blinking and Matt's smirk.
Thomas' lips had a twist of a smile to them that faded slowly as he held Vincent's gaze. "I have not felt that way in a long time," he said. His dark eyes did not waver. "Maybe when we met I wished you would speak a little quicker or be more direct, but that was before I knew you. Now I know you have the slowest quick wit in all of England."
The grin that followed was crisp and short-lived, before fading to pain. "I have never meant to offend or criticise you by stepping in when you struggled and if you felt that way then I am truly sorry." Thomas swallowed heavily, his chin raising a fraction. "But I would spend a lifetime protecting you more than you'd prefer and accepting your anger and apologising. And yet I would never doubt our.." he blinked once, quickly, all too aware of their audience. "... relationship."
A lifetime? Vincent's stomach twisted, tangling about itself in a way that somehow warmed him from the inside out. Outwardly, he simply nodded.
"But at the first hurdle..." Tears glistened at the edges of Thomas' eyes, but he blinked them away, leaving only anger and hurt behind. "... you doubted me."
"No." Thomas looked almost affronted at the abrupt reply, but Vincent raised a hand; on this he would not falter. "I have never doubted you. I was suspicious of your motivations when we first met, and I have questioned you on many occasion, but I have never doubted you."
"Then why-"
"Because I thought that you deserved one aspect of your life to be simple!" Vincent's hands were in the air, exasperation driving him. It was difficult to explain a thought that had always been there. "I have spent my life wishing for something to be easy, and I thought it was within my power to give that to you... by stepping away. You have had to overcome so much, why should you not choose simple happiness?"
Logic and pragmaticism had been the central tenets of Vincent's life for as long as he could remember, and they had never failed him so completely before. When he'd seen Thomas dancing with Miss Clark at the ball, it had seemed logical that Thomas would make that choice. That he should make that choice.
"But you never do as you 'should'," Vincent continued softly. "You do what is right and what is good, regardless of what others think. It is one of your best traits."
For the longest time the only movement in the room was the heave of Thomas' chest as he stood there, in the middle of the foyer, and stared at Vincent over the chasm that seemed to lay between them.
Eventually, he cleared his throat of emotion, and asked, "What choice would you make?" When Vincent's head tilted to the side, he clarified. "If you had the same 'choice' that you think I have, what would you choose?"
Ah.
Society or Thomas?
It was a question he could not have answered easily only days earlier. He would have weighed up the fire in his belly when he thought of Thomas against the fiery looks of condemnation his family might receive.
A woman or Thomas?
He would have remembered his impact on the world, his burdensomeness, and known that Thomas would have been better off finding happiness with a wife and children. He would have assured himself that he could find a woman to marry and discuss things with, and that nothing would be missing from his life.
But that had changed.
Thomas loved him.
Thomas loved him.
And that would be his choice forever more.
"You."
Thomas, apparently, had still been speaking, but whatever he'd been saying froze on his tongue as Vincent interrupted him. He blinked a few times, his mouth parted, before the smallest of smiles crept onto his face. His brow quirked slightly, and Vincent knew he was forgiven.
"Do you want to think about it for a moment?"
"No." Vincent knew he was smiling himself, but there was a light in his eyes that only Thomas saw. "Thank you."
Thomas chuckled, the tip of his tongue darting out to wet the middle of his lower lip. Vincent watched it with rapt attention. "Are we finished fighting now?" he asked as he took a slow step closer.
The other man could only nod. The tension was back between them, a pull that no longer bore the sharp thorns of conflict.
"I'd hope so." The comment was lobbed from behind Vincent, and both he and Thomas froze in place at the reminder that they were not alone. Bart's tone was a frown made audible. "And now you can explain to us exactly what it is you were fighting about!"
Like shutters on a window, Thomas' charm slid back into place. His smile was coy, his eyebrow raised, and he grinned over Vincent's shoulder at the other Humphreys in the room. "Ah, nothing worth relaying, Bart! Simply a debate over linen choices at the ball we attended â I would not have guessed that Vincent was an avid admirer of ivory over cream, but at last, he has come to see it my way!"
Vincent could hear Bart's frown deepen as clearly as he heard Matt's snort of amusement. The lie was a bad one, told to be disbelieved and explained later, and Thomas' small smile when he looked back at Vincent confirmed it.
"I'll take my leave," he said softly, inclining his head, "and we can finish this later."
He looked up at Vincent from beneath his curls, warmth in his eyes that disappeared as he turned away and took a step towards the door.
"I'll see you gentlemen later," he called, flapping one hand in their general direction, "for now, I need sleep."
With the first few moments that Vincent watched him walk away, came a realisation: this is what their relationship would look like. Excuses and justifications would haunt them, and they would constantly be defending their 'friendship'. There would be lies â there would have to be â and his family would never truly know either of them.
Thomas offered him a lifetime, and that was not how he wanted to spend it.
"I... the..." he followed quickly, reaching out to catch Thomas by the upper arm. "Wait."
Thomas looked back at him, an eyebrow raised in question. "It's alright, Vincent, I mean to return." He spoke softly, so there was no chance they could be overheard. "Your brothers will already have questions that will be difficult to answer. They need not overhear anything further."
Vincent shook his head as he searched for words.
"I don't mean to abandon you to the firing line," Thomas continued, reaching up to take the hand that still gripped his arm. His body shielded them as he gave his hand a firm squeeze. "But your explanations will be far more believable than mine. I promise to agree to whatever you've said when I see them next."
Vincent winced, frustrated with himself. "No."
He knew what he wanted, but there were so many options to evaluate. What was best? What was worst? Would any of them bring Thomas harm?
"No?" Thomas let out a huff of laughter, confusion tugging at his eyes. "Should I disagree with everything you've said?"
By God, Vincent thought, did the man never stop talking?
He gave a fierce tug on their still joined hands, not only pulling their intertwined fingers into view of his brothers, but tilting Thomas' body towards his own. Almost chest to chest, he felt the hitch in Thomas' breath almost as if it were his own. "Thomas, I'm wondering if you'll allow me to kiss you?"
He chose not to take Thomas' laugh of surprise personally. The man's eyes darted to the side, checking the Humphrey brothers still watched on. They did, with strong looks of confusion â or amusement, in Matt's case.
"Vincent, you do not have to do this for me. This is a risk you do not have to take."
Urgent words on a whisper. Vincent was unswayed.
"I know."
His hand skimmed up Thomas' waist, dragging slightly across the material of his shirt. He was rewarded with a shuddered breath from Thomas. At least he was not the only one affected by their closeness!
"Vincent..." It was a word of caution.
Vincent's hand continued its slow progression, moving to gently cup the back of Thomas' neck. The world around them had long since faded away. "Last chance," he said softly.
Thomas didn't pull away.
And then he leant in and there was no gap between them anymore.
Vincent had been a man starved, and he'd not even known it! The moment their lips touched in a gentle kiss, he felt his mind quiet and all organs which had been in upheaval settled into their proper places. Thomas' hands caught him about the waist, leaving imprints of fire and sending gooseflesh running up his back. If the Ton thought it wrong that he kiss a man like Thomas, then they had never truly been kissed by a man like Thomas.
As the thought crept in, Vincent had to pull back, dragging Thomas into the present moment with him. They rested, forehead to forehead, for the barest moment as each caught his breath.
Vincent turned first, his hand finding its way to Thomas', and slowly looked each brother in the eye. Simon's mouth was agape, his eyebrows nearly buried in his hairline, and his head twitched from side to side as his eyes darted between Vincent's face and Thomas'. Bart also looked alarmed, but he was nodding softly, as if the past moments â and months â were slowly sliding into place in his mind.
It wasn't until his eyes reached Matthew's that Vincent grew confused; his younger brother was, of course, smirking!
Thomas broke the silence. "I lied about the linens."
Matt outright laughed at that.
Focussing on his elder, perplexed, brothers, Vincent took a step forward, pulling Thomas along with him. "I realise this is unconventional and that you might need some time to understand, but I did not want to lie to you." There was no stuttering or stumbling as there was no need to overthink. He had made his decision before he'd kissed Thomas and now he would live with the consequences. "I apologise if our relationship brings any repercussions on any of you and understand if you feel the need to distance yourselves from us."
Thomas squeezed his hand in comfort, and comfort it did; it reminded him of the rightness of their interlocked fingers.
"Forgive me, Vincent," Simon said when he eventually found words, one hand moving to scratch his chin, "but I'm not sure we entirely understand what's happening here."
Oh. Vincent had thought that was obvious.
Thomas interjected before he could reply. "I seduced your brother, Simon. Fairly thoroughly if I do say so myself." He added a wink.
Beside him, Vincent sighed, both amused and resigned. He quickly skimmed his brothers' expressions but the cheeky comment from Thomas did not appear to have made an impact.
Simon still seemed bewildered. He shrugged lightly as he caught Vincent's eye. "Are you happy, brother-mine?"
Vincent thought that was a ridiculous question. Still, he nodded.
That seemed to satisfy Simon somewhat. He nodded himself. "Alright then."
The foyer subsided into silence. It was not comfortable â Vincent was acutely aware of the awkwardness â but neither was it hostile. It just... was
"Well," Thomas said, issuing a light shrug. "We'll leave you gentlemen to discuss this amongst yourselves. We have some... details... to work out."
Without letting go of his hand, Thomas turned and dragged Vincent up the stairs. Although he did not protest, Vincent did throw a look back down at his brothers, and not for the first time wished he knew what was going on in the minds of others. But then he nearly tripped and focussed his attention back on Thomas.
Neither of them heard the sigh from Matt as, standing between his elder brothers, he clapped them both on the shoulder. "Well, I think that's the last we will see from them for a while!" He winked, but neither brother was in a position to appreciate the joke.
Simon was wide eyed, bemused, and blinking a little more rapidly than usual. His mouth, still slightly agape, struggled to make words in a way which ironically reminded Matt of Vincent.
Bart's arms had come to rest folded across his chest, his frown fixed on the stairs the two men had disappeared up as if he didn't quite comprehend where they had gone.
The youngest Humphrey brother sighed, this time genuinely, as he turned slowly back towards the study they'd come from. "I'm getting another drink," he said, "and after that I'll answer all your questions." He left them standing in stunned silence as he muttered about the 'unenlightened'.
.
In the end, Thomas and Vincent were alone from the better part of three hours, some of which was dedicated to what Matt jokingly alluded to. But much of it was conversation.
After the first half-hour, they were sitting in Vincent's quarters, half-dressed, with Thomas strewn across the length of the chaise and Vincent reclined comfortably in the opposite armchair. A pot of tea sat on the table between them, delivered by a maid who was noticeably less surprised than she should have been to see them in such disarray. Thomas had been mulling that over for a few minutes, wondering what gossip already existed about them, as he sipped his tea. He glanced at the steaming dark liquid with a sigh, briefly wishing it was something stronger, before he set it down firmly on its saucer and set them both on the table. He swung his legs off the chaise, and was sitting almost primly by the time he raised his eyes to Vincent.
The other man had long been watching him.
"There are things we should discuss."
Vincent nodded.
"That maid knew, more than likely, which means others no doubt do too."
Vincent nodded.
"Rumours will circulate. Those rumours will reach the Ton. As you suggested, some will give you and your family the cut direct."
Vincent nodded.
He watched those dark eyes that often sparkled with mischief scowl at him, and yet felt no discomfort, no angst, no awkwardness. There was only...
Thomas harrumphed suddenly, throwing his hands in the air. "Vincent, forgive me, but I'm going to need you to actually speak!"
If he wanted words, Vincent could give him words. "I love you."
The other man stilled abruptly. He frowned. "You love me?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
Vincent's face cracked in a wide smile. "You may have noticed; I don't say anything unless I'm sure."
Thomas seemed stunned. "Well alright then."
They sat in silence for a moment.
"I... the..." Vincent looked heavenward for a moment, mildly annoyed that the words would still not come easily. "There are some other things I'm sure of that we should discuss. I-"
Thomas pulled himself abruptly to his feet.
"Hold that thought."
He stepped over the low-lying table between them to take the most direct path to Vincent's chair. His lover watched in bemusement as he climbed onto the seat with him, his legs splayed to he could sit atop his lap.
Suddenly, there was heat in Vincent's cheeks. Thomas took that as an invitation to brush his fingers against them.
"I love you too," he murmured. And then he repeated it with a kiss. Their tongues danced, Vincent's hand skimmed the waistband of Thomas' trousers, and then Thomas rolled his hips in a way that...
Vincent who pulled away quickly, tilting his heads so their foreheads met and he could catch his breath. "You distracted me." His words were admonishing, but his tone was more awe.
"Apologies." It was either Thomas' grin or his hand brushing against the hem of Vincen't shirt that marked his insincerity.
"You left too quickly today," Vincent said, his normal seriousness falling easily into place, as he caught Thomas' wandering hand in his. "You missed the magistrate offering me employment."
That did give the other man pause. "Oh." He nodded. "That makes sense; you were worth more than all his aides combined this morning." Thomas raked his curls out of his eyes, looking down at Vincent with a question. "Does that mean you will take up residence in London?"
Vincent shook his head. "I need not. Most of the role is researching and writing arguments, which I can do from wherever I choose."
The smile spread slowly across Thomas' face. "And where will you choose?"
"Wherever you are."
Thomas pecked him lightly on the mouth, as if he approved of the answer. When he pulled back he frowned slightly. "And Isabela?"
"I thought two fathers might be better than none."
That earned him a very approving kiss which took them off course for a few minutes. In his mind, Vincent gave thanks that this man had ingratiated himself into the Humphrey family so soon after meeting them. That was except for Matthew, who Thomas had met before at a gentleman's club...
Vincent pulled away so abruptly he almost unseated Thomas from his lap. The man caught himself on the arms of the chair and sent him a look of concern.
"Did you and Matt first meet at Pride's?" He asked sharply.
"Yes," Thomas had not thought that a secret any longer. "Why?"
The wheels in Vincent's head turned so quickly, putting Matthew's smirks, and laughs, and encouragement into place...
"By God," he said on an exhale, staring up at Thomas with wide eyes. "He's known this whole time, hasn't he?"
Here, Thomas did not rescue Vincent from his confusion; he simply kissed him until it did not matter anymore.
~~~
Oh my goodness...
Drop your three emoji reaction here to this chapter - I hope you're losing your minds as well!!