After a long struggle of convincing Peter that Aurelie and Kirin had by no means been related, heâstill being rather reluctant to believe themâleft to get groceries for the upset stomach that he was sure Kirin would have if he ate anything solid after being out of it for so long.
He seemed to think that Kirin was actually his father and that he was recovering after the first time he took the Kingâwho was then a princeâin his portals. Kirin told Aurelie that they thought he would die the first time he did it. It made sense that that would be one of Peter's more vivid memories. No one wanted to see their child suffer.
Peter was still rather confused about the matter. For one, he though his son was Kirin's age, never mind that he had a son of his own. It didn't help that Aurelie apparently looked like one of his late wives.
She hoped he'd get better soon. Now that Kirin was awake, they had to start making plans to leave. They had already stayed much longer than would have been deemed safe. With the two of them gone, Peter would only have Nick to keep an eye on him and thought that had worked in the past, Alysia's last surprise left him without a proper head on his shoulders.
Aurelie sat beside Kirin on the couch, clutching onto his arm with both of her hands. She had been holding on for so long that the space between her hands and his arm was hot and sweaty. The above floated in and out of her mind. She worried a lot. More than she could handle but less than she ought to have while being in her position. She shared none of it with Kirin, naturally. He didn't need to worry about the logistics of their stay just yet. All the things he'd missed hovered on the tip of her tongue but he was not ready to hear any of it yet.
Looking at him hurt. Pleasantly, and heart-wrenchingly, at the same time. She stole a peek every few seconds. The light blue of his eyes made her catch her breath for a moment every time she did. Men were not often called beautiful, perhaps rugged and handsome. But Kirin was beautiful. And to Aurelie the most beautiful person she had ever seen.
Never had she thought this before, but he was the direct meaning of danger. She felt him in her very bones. So much so that having him so near physically hurt.
Kirin shut his eyes and lay back on his pillow. "Have I been asleep long?"
She sniffed and sat up a little to be able to cram into the tiny space between him and the couch. Aurelie forced one of her hands around his waist and squeezed her fingers tightly around his arm. "Too long," she said.
"Oeh." He huffed.
Aurelie released the pressure of her hold and lifted her hand off of him. He grabbed her hand mid-way and pressed it back down.
"No," he said. His dry lips stuck together at the ends as he spoke. "Don't let go. We're past letting go now, princess." He looked at her intensely. Whatever weakness he felt, it did not resonate in his eyes, not when he looked at her. There was a hunger in them instead. She felt raw and bare so close to him.
Aurelie's cheeks heated. There was an animalistic need inside her to hold him so tightly that they would somehow merge.
"I was so . . . scared," she said. "I thought you'd die and stupid Peter," the number of things she had to say to him ended up making her mumble them all out at once, "he didn't even tell me that you would be fine until yesterday! What a ridiculous man."
Kirin's laugh vibrated against her chest. She looked up and held the back of her hand to his cheek. And with that touch, it felt as if her chest swelled with joy. She was anxious to tell him exactly how she felt. So much time was wasted on petty fights and the two of them pushing each other away. "I love you so much it hurts."
His fingers interlaced with her hair. He pulled gently and sent goosebumps across her whole body. Aurelie closed her eyes, and leaned her head down to his shoulder, while he stroked her head. "Firstly, I love you. So much, that seeing you lying here made me transfer into some sort of limbo. It was as if I was dying right along with you, and walking around here, in this house, was someone else. I lost my ability to feel. And when I heard your voice, I woke up." Aurelie took a shaky breath. "I know that you didn't risk your life for me just because I'm supposed to be the key to winning the war." A twinge of doubt appeared between all the certainties. Maybe she was just his tool. "And if I'm wrong," she looked up and waited until his eyes met hers, "I'll make you love me because I need you to."
Kirin shook his head, still smiling. Aurelie wanted to stop him. He looked so thin and fragile that the movement could have broken his neck. "I was so cruel . . ." He looked up at the ceiling and pushed her head down to his shoulder. "Aurelie, if you only knew how hard it was for me to stay away from you."
"So, tell me!" Aurelie raised her head but was gently lowered down again by Kirin. He didn't see, but she hid a soft smile because of it.
"Don't look at me." He smiled. "It's hard enough without you staring right through me with those giant eyes."
"Okay," she whispered and snuck another quick peek.
"Do you know how many women drop down at my feet? How long my father and the King have been trying to get me to marry?"
Aurelie shot up, her head bobbing on her neck. "Oh please, do tell, oh mighty seducerâ
Kirin held a hand over her mouth. "Let me finish."
Aurelie snapped her teeth at his hand. "And I believe that should be past tense. You're a traitor now, sir. I don't know about you," she rose to sit and raised a brow "but I don't see any lines behind me."
"Will you let me finish?"
"Alright," she said, keeping her arms crossed.
Kirin took her hand and traced his fingers across her palm. "I don't know how it got to this pointâactually I do." He looked up at the ceiling again, avoiding her glare. "You swam out of the pond and treated me like I was any other person. And it wasn't because you had more power. You just didn't see the difference between us. And then, when you changed your mind about killing me," he beamed, "you spoke so freely. I just felt like I knew you already. That never happened before. I felt it from that moment. You made me want to jump back into the pond the second you touched my hand. It made me feel things. I tried to stay away but I couldn't because you'd already taken over. Every decision I made from then on was to ensure your safety. Having the war in the background was a good excuse. No one ever wondered why I only ever spoke about keeping you safe."
Before he opened his mouth again, Aurelie leaned in to kiss him. It wasn't ladylike or in the least bit gentle. She cupped her hands over his cheeks and slowly pushed them back to touch his neck. The dry skin on his lips gently scratched her. He was weak but he kissed her with a force that she had never felt before.
Aurelie swung her leg over his hips and sat on top of him. Her whole body was on fire. The world had regained its color. All was suddenly right. Exactly as it was meant to be. He lowered his hands to her thighs, and slowly moved them upward her hips. Every movement was followed by sparks that formed upon her skin.
The feeling was strange, electric, yet exhilarating. He kissed her harder. Their teeth clanked against each other. Aurelie bit his lower lip and pulled it between her lips.
Kirin smiled. "I haven't finished telling you everything."
"Now?"
"Uhu."
"Right."
He laughed under his breath and lay on his side, pulling her down by her hand so that she lay down in front of him.
Kirin ran his fingers up and down her neck and pressed his head to hers. "I never thought I'd be glad for your sarcasm. I can't imagine what you went through with me just lying here. I'll tell you this, though, when I saw you bleeding out on that field, I don't know if this is fair to say since you were the one injured, but it was the worst pain that I had ever felt in my life. I felt my mother's death; it still haunts me, but the thought of losing you... You don't have to make me love you. I don't know if love is the right word."
He kissed the top of her head. "What I feel can't be measured in language. I took the portal because I thought you were going to die. Of course, I knew that there was a chance still that my grandfather could save you, but if he didn't, I hoped that moving you would kill me."
Aurelie had nothing to say to that, only an eerie feeling of fear. They couldn't love each other that much. It was more than dangerous. It was deadly. Testing the limits and seeing which one would die first. It did not seem fair, but it was all they had.
Right then and there, Aurelie thought of ways to keep Kirin from danger. The existence of the portal dawned on her. What she feared most was that Kirin was thinking exactly the same thing and that she would never learn of his plans until they were already in action.
"Aurelie," Kirin put his lips right up to her ear and said, "I love you." Kirin kissed her and wrapped his arms tightly around her.
This intimacy between them was everything to her. Earlier, she would describe him as the last thing that she had left, and now he was the only thing that she wanted. These moments with him were everything. The war she that she wanted and the revenge seemed too dangerous. If she lost him, it would be too high a price to pay. It was selfish, but there wasn't an ounce of guilt within her. Kirin was everything.
"What if we just stay here?" she asked him. It was as simple as that. Her fire had already grown a bit weaker. It would take months, maybe years and she would lose control of it altogether. And after that, no one would know who she was.
"We are here."
Aurelie shook her head and shifted so that she could look at him. "I don't mean that. I mean what if we stop fighting, build a life together. I've never wanted to be queen. But I do know what I want. And it's just you. I don't need a castle. I don't need revenge, power or glory. I just want you."
Maybe Peter stirred her womanly needs more than she thought. A family had never crossed her mind but being there with Kirin in that tiny house, in safety, brought it all out. She wanted children, she wanted a house somewhere far away just like Kaiden and Elizabeth had, and she wanted a husband. There it was; Aurelie was still human. And it was the happiest feeling in the world.
Kirin lowered his eyes. "Aurelie, I'm a soldier. That's all I am. I have guards at the castle who are waiting for my command. We have Daerious and the others traveling by foot to get to us. All they have is a glimmer of hope that we are still alive. I can't leave that all behind. We have a family, and they're coming for us."
Aurelie nodded. "I'm with you wherever you go, Donahue. You're my beating heart." All this time she thought that they'd abandoned them, and she was glad for it. They should have had the wits to run.
"I'll give you everything you want. I just need to finish this."
Aurelie knew what his answer would be. She hoped that he would choose her, but somehow she also dreaded it. If the world was taken over by the King, Kirin would loathe her for stopping him. She should have felt the way that he did, but all that they have lost created a hole in her that replaced all her anger and plans of revenge with fear. Fear of losing more.
"How about this; we are a normal couple in Redayrah until the others arrive? Before then, I need you to make up for all the times you've pushed me away. I want you to hold my hand, and pick me flowers. I don't care if you have to scavenge the whole town to gather some. I want you to sit at the table, and eat dinner, and I want you to read to me. As long as I hear your voice I don't care if every damn word is about Alysia. Lastly, Kirin," she pointed her finger at him, "I want you to kiss me every chance you get. When they're back, we go to war."
When Daerious and the others returned, Aurelie would sneak away, and use the portal. Kirin needed to win that war, and she would do everything in her power to make that happen. The Icelands army would be hers. The King would never see that coming. Kirin did not have to know. He would tie her up and send the portal flying. She knew that solely because she would have done the same thing if he was concerned.