Orken was the first to see her when she came running up to the inn, her hair wild behind her and her dress dirtied by the soot that came off of Kirin's cloak.
"Peacocks! What on Highfire happened to you?" he asked, eyes wide with questions.
She stormed past him, picking up her dress to climb the stairs. Shoulders collided with hers, she did not see whose, flashing past them without a word of apology.
Sasha's was at the very top of the stairs, talking to some women with wild blue curls. She looked at her and gasped.
Aurelie averted her eyes and ran to her door, slamming it shut. Thirty candlesâthose she had collected over the days to practice onâignited as she turned. Closing her eyes, Aurelie leaned against the door. She couldn't get Kirin's battered face out of her head. A knot formed in her stomach. She was nauseous and tearful, unsure of what to do with herself other than to sulk.
She wanted to practice but not like this, not angry and unpredictable. She pushed herself away from the door and fell on her bed. For a moment, she lay with her face pressed into her blanket, and then rage filled her and curled her fingers into tight fists. Aurelie punched her pillow, again and again, until her wrist and her knuckles hurt.
A gentle knock sounded on her door. Why can't you people leave me alone for just one second?
"Yes?" she answered, through clenched teeth.
"Are you okay in there?" Sasha's asked.
"Yes, thank you, I'm fine," she responded, trying to keep her quivering voice even.
"Can I come in?"
"Please no," Aurelie pleaded, her voice shaking.
"Alright." Her footsteps moved away from the door.
Someone had dressed her bed in clean sheets, and already they were stained with bloodâKirin's bloodâand dirt. She ruined them, just like she ruined everything. Aurelie crawled into a ball, clutched herself around her shoulders, and wept.
*
Sasha peered into Aurelie's room later that evening. "Walk with me," she said, her voice expressed pity, but her face did no such thing.
"Did something happen?" Aurelie asked, fearing more bad news. Her stomach knotted.
"I knew you when you were a little girl, did you know?" Sasha asked, tearing up a little.
It was going to be one of those walks, Aurelie thought. The ones where you are meant to share memories, cry, laugh, and hug. She didn't want to go back to any memories, it was only recently that she stopped crying over her aunt and uncle, but there was no such thing as saying no to Sasha.
"I didn't," she said and stood up to join her.
Sasha wrapped her hand around Aurelie's shoulder. "Come, I have something to show you."
She led her through the busy inn to her bedroom. People voice their greetings and nothing else, thankfully having gotten used to having a troublesome dragon amongst them now. The children still got excited by her, but she did not mind them much. They were quite easy to please.
Sasha's bedroom looked much like Aurelie's because it was furnished and decorated. There was a cupboard in the corner, the door was slightly open, and the orange light of her grandfather's rose glowed from within. A bed stood in the middle, and a side table, stacked with a pile of books. There was a large pot near the cupboard with a tomato plant growing within.
Sasha caught Aurelie's glance. "I like watching it grow. It reminds me of normality at times." She traced her finger along with one of the small yellow flowers. "It must really hate us â always trying to make everything it creates grow faster." She laughed.
"My aunt had a garden at the cabin," she said, wondering whether Sasha knew her at all. Talking about her aunt still pained her. She could never quite keep her voice even when she brought them up. "But, she didn't help them grow. She generally stayed away from magic."
"Elizabeth was one of a kind," Sasha said.
Hearing her aunt's name come out of Sasha's mouth sparked pride within Aurelie's chest. Someone else remembered her aunt as she was. It pleased her that she would not just be a person in her memories. Someone else knew her. Someone else remembered.
It wasn't right that a person could just be taken away and all that remained were memories. It wasn't right. Memories faded. Even after the short time that Aurelie spent away from her aunt and uncle, she could barely remember what they looked like. Nor could she remember the sound of their voices. They sometimes came to her in the night, but those dreams brought more pain than anything else. She had nothing of theirs to remember them by. She had nothing to hold on to. It was not fair.
"You knew her?" she asked, hoping that she had stories to tell.
"Only a little," Sasha replied, looking at Aurelie with pity. "I was your grandmother's servant. Then your mother's when she came to live at the castle."
Aurelie nodded, looking into the distance â waiting for her eyes to dry.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you sad," Sasha said and gestured for Aurelie to sit on the bed. She led the way and sat down beside her.
"I'm afraid that I won't see her again," she said, mentally scolding Sasha for bringing on the pain again.
"Oh, my dear girl," Sasha said, wrapped her arms around Aurelie, and dragged her fingers through Aurelie's hair.
"I will not say that you will stop missing her as time goes by because you won't. Or that you might stop worrying about . . . where she is orâ" She stopped short, but Aurelie was sure it had something to do with the speculation of death. "We'll find her. At least, we'll try our best."
Aurelie would think Sasha cruel if she didn't know her character better. "I can't remember the sound of her voice. I hear her calling my name in my dreams but . . . then I wake up, and I can't recall the sound."
Sasha held her tighter. "She will never disappear completely, not from your thoughts. I wish we could trade places so that I could carry this burden for you. But, all I can do is comfort you. I'm sorry that he took them from you," she said and kissed Aurelie's forehead.
"He took everything." She sobbed. "And I can do nothing to stop him."
"Not now, but soon. Soon, you'll be the one that takes everything. He is a man of little. He has only power. You cannot bed power, you cannot speak to power, only use it, and before you know it, it uses you. You have us now. He cannot take us â you will not let him."
"I can't protect you," Aurelie said, dropping her face into her hands. 'Soon' such a dreadful word. When was 'soon' exactly, a month, a week, or ten years?
"There is a power inside you that you do not understand yet, but when you do, nothing will stop you." She reached over to the bedside table and pulled out a book. "Now, back to why I called you here. It wasn't to make you cry, I promise," she smiled warmly. "It was to give you this. Your father drew it before he married your mother. He used to take it with him everywhere. Before."
She opened the book and withdrew a warn sketch of a woman. The paper was yellow, and the top right corner was torn.
"Is this her, my mother?" she asked. Her face was not as round as Aurelie's and her eyes bigger, but there was some resemblance.
"It is. Delilah Dranoir." Sasha replied, smiling at the picture.
"I see why he married her."
"She was a sight for sore eyes, that one. No servant in the house was not in love with her. You look a lot like her."
Aurelie laughed. "No, I don't. I don't think anybody looks like her, maybe Katherine." Aurelie swallowed bitterly, still feeling a pang of jealousy when she remembered how Katherine dangled around Kirin at the party.
"Beauty isn't all you need," Sasha replied, smiling.
"But, it sure helps." The mood was much lighter. Aurelie held on to the picture as if it was made out of precious gems, tracing her fingers over her mother's face. The picture seemed foreign as if it were drawn in a different world. Emile Dranoir was once in love. It had been the strangest thought to enter her mind to date.
"What color were her eyes?"
"They were grey. It looked almost as if they were clear crystal. Her hair was black like yours, and it made those eyes spellbinding."
"So I have his eyes?" she asked grimly.
"No, you have the Dranoir eyes that were passed onto you by the kings and queens of Highfire. They are not his to claim and not yours to bestow upon him either," Sasha replied, her chin rising as if she too shared the bloodline.
"Can I keep this?" Aurelie asked, unsure if Sasha had given it to her or wanted to show her.
"Of course, who else do you think I stole it for?"
The thought of Sasha stealing had Aurelie laughing out loud. "Thank you for this."
Aurelie could not keep her eyes off the sketch. Delilah looked like a true queen. Her face would not fit anywhere but under a crown. She wondered what she was like, but dared not ask. Reality had been cruel to her, and she did not want to ruin her fantasy with it, not yet. Her mother, the queen of Highfire, made men fall in love with her at first sight. She liked that. Not her mother, the Dragon King's prisoner, gave her away and stayed with the tyrant King.