Chapter 7: Chapter Seven

Caroline Ryder

I was lagging behind. Trip and Rowan towered over me by a foot, their long strides making it hard for me to keep up.

I tried to keep up, but I found myself jogging to catch up with them. They were deep in conversation, oblivious to my struggle.

The sun was rising, its rays beating down on my shoulders and neck. I was wearing a t-shirt and already regretting not choosing a tank top.

My shorts were sticking to my skin from the heat, and I had to keep pulling them down to avoid flashing anyone.

Rowan was a lively talker, his hands moving in large, fluid circles to emphasize his points.

Trip, on the other hand, was more reserved. He took his time to think before he spoke.

I could only catch bits and pieces of their conversation. They were discussing the day’s tasks and some complaints that needed to be addressed.

It was the kind of conversation I’d expect between a beta and his alpha. But Rowan wasn’t a beta. He was a gamma. And Ryan was nowhere to be seen.

As we walked, people greeted their alpha, and Trip responded, albeit awkwardly. He seemed uncomfortable with the attention.

I wasn’t sure if I found his inexperience comforting or worrying.

Suddenly, Trip turned around, his eyes scanning until they found mine. He gave me an apologetic smile and stopped Rowan so I could catch up.

He was rubbing the back of his neck when I finally reached them. “Sorry,” he said, “first day and I’m already leaving you behind.”

“It’s okay,” I replied. “I’m used to it. I have two older brothers who also forget that I’m not as tall as they are.”

Rowan’s expression tightened at the mention of my brothers, and I felt a mix of annoyance and embarrassment.

Trip, however, laughed. It was a deep, hearty laugh that warmed my heart.

“Tyler Trip,” a high-pitched voice called out.

I turned to see a young woman approaching us. She was wearing a white t-shirt that contrasted with her dark skin. Her hair was a dark brown, styled into tight curls that fell just above her shoulders.

She had a bright smile, her teeth perfectly straight and white. “Am I seeing things, or were you actually laughing?”

Trip was still smiling. “Morning, Jackie.”

Jackie grinned back. “Good morning, Alpha.” Her eyes shifted to me, curiosity sparking in them. It wasn’t until our eyes met that I recognized her. Jackie Ayre, the pack peacemaker.

I felt my face drain of color.

Trip gestured towards me. “This is—”

“Caroline Ryder,” Jackie finished for him, her voice soft and sympathetic. I hated the sound of it, the implication that she was someone I could trust, someone who would understand.

Hearing her say my name brought back painful memories. “It’s nice to see you among the pack.”

I felt my face harden, my body shutting down. My heart was retreating behind a wall of ice.

I looked down, biting my tongue to keep my emotions in check.

Trip smiled. “You’ve met before?”

“We haven’t spoken in a long time,” Jackie said, her eyes studying me. “Not since the war.”

I flinched.

Trip’s smile faded. “Jackie is our pack’s peacemaker,” he explained. “She’s one of my closest friends and confidants.”

Jackie smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I have an appointment to keep, I’m afraid.”

She touched Trip’s arm lightly. “I’ll catch up with you tonight at the meeting.”

Trip watched her walk away, a thoughtful look on his face. I didn’t meet her gaze as she looked back at us.

I could feel Trip’s eyes on me, full of questions and concern. He could tell something was wrong, but he didn’t know what. And I wasn’t ready to tell him.

“We should shift and do a few laps,” Rowan suggested. “Check the eastern border since we only covered the south yesterday.”

Trip nodded, but I could tell his mind was elsewhere. “Yeah…, sure.”

I felt a pang of dread when Rowan turned to me. “Want to join us? We won’t leave you behind this time.” He gave me a small smile.

He was trying to make amends, offering me a peace offering.

“No, thank you,” I replied, my voice tight.

Trip looked surprised. “You don’t want to come with us?”

I shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t want to shift.”

Rowan laughed. “We can go to an outpost first. You can change there so you don’t ruin your clothes.”

I held back a glare. “That’s not it.”

Trip’s expression hardened. “You don’t want to come with me?”

Rowan cleared his throat, muttered something about needing to talk to someone, and left us alone. We watched him walk away and start a conversation with the nearest person.

I turned back to Trip and let out a sigh. “I don’t shift anymore.”

He didn’t seem surprised. “Okay.”

“Okay,” I echoed.

He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Maybe this is all a mistake,” I blurted out, the silence making me feel insecure. “Maybe we should just call it off. I can pack my things and leave in a few hours—”

Fear flashed across his face. “No,” he said quickly. “Stay. We’ll make it work. Shifting isn’t a requirement.

“I’ll go with Rowan. You go talk to your brothers… Both of them. Tell Mick about the role I want him to take and discuss a job with Han.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, giving him a chance to back out.

He didn’t take it. “Yes. I’ll see you later. The inner pack is meeting tonight, which will probably turn into a party. We can catch up then.”

A flutter of nerves hit me at the mention of a party. The war had been raging when I was supposed to start high school, so my party days were cut short before they even began.

It was a silly thing to fret over, but I did anyway. “Okay,” I agreed, letting out a breath.

Trip smiled and hesitated. I felt it too; the awkwardness of feeling like I should do something before we parted ways: a hug, a squeeze, a kiss.

Instead, Trip just touched his neck and then turned away, throwing me a longing smile over his shoulder before he rushed to catch up with Rowan.

I began my descent down the mountain. The air was heavy and humid, and my skin was starting to sting from the sun.

I pressed two fingers down on my forearm and winced when my skin turned white and then faded back to red. I was fair and freckled, not made for prolonged sun exposure.

My mother wasn’t in her garden when I got home, so I figured she was inside, probably making lunch for my father or trying to get Han to go outside. The latter was a hopeless cause.

I slipped into the house, the screen door squeaking behind me, and looked around. I had only left a few hours ago, but it already felt different; I already felt like a visitor. “Mom?” I called out. “Hanna?”

“So he was that bad, huh?”

I jumped at the sight of Han leaning against the kitchen doorframe, his hand in a box of cereal. He shoved a handful of Cheerios into his mouth. A few missed and bounced off his chest.

“Excuse me?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“You’ve only been gone for a little over six hours,” he said, “so he must be terrible.”

“Are you talking about Trip?” I asked, my tone dry.

He ate more cereal.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m here on pack business.”

Han snorted. “So, you’re the luna now?”

“No,” I said, my voice tight, “not yet.”

Han frowned. “He changed his mind?”

“No,” I snapped. “I just haven’t made up my mind yet.”

His frown softened and he set the cereal on the table before sprawling out in a chair.

“Ah,” he said, “that makes sense. You’re keeping him on his toes; holding his offer in reserve before you commit one way or another.”

I clenched my jaw. “I don’t want to sit on the sidelines anymore, Han,” I said, echoing my mother’s words from the previous morning.

His laugh was brittle. “So, what? You put on the head cheerleader’s uniform? Buy into the pack mentality, the we’re-all-in-this-together crap? That’s what it is, Care. It’s crap.”

“When are you going to outgrow your conspiracy theories?” I shot back.

Han’s eyes flashed, one of them still swollen from the beating he had provoked from the burly enforcer.

“Do you think Tyler really cares about any of this? About being alpha and helping the pack and making it work with you? He doesn’t. He just wants the power and the prestige and to—”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” I warned, my voice dark.

Han sat up and leaned forward. “Why are you doing this? Why are you sucking up to him to save Dad’s ass?”

“This isn’t about Dad,” I retorted. “I don’t know why you’re so fixated—”

“What do you want, Caroline?” he asked, his tone bitter. I watched him pull back and his face harden.

He was categorizing me as his enemy; leaving himself without an ally. It hurt to see it, but Han was doing it to himself.

“I wanted to talk to you,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Trip wants—”

“No,” he spat.

I rolled my eyes. “Stop being so difficult.”

“I don’t owe him any favors,” he said. “Trip owes me. Trip owes this pack. He’s been back for less than a week and is already trying to send me to work. Screw that.”

“You have to do something, Han. You can’t be the only one—”

“What does he even do?” Han exploded.

“What does he do all day that makes him so deserving of a big house and adoration and my sister?” His voice wavered slightly and he growled under his breath as he shook his head.

“Han,” I began, pulling out the chair opposite him, “you’re not losing me to him.”

He said nothing.

“But you’ll lose me if you push me away,” I said.

Han pressed his hands into his eyes. “Please, come back, Care,” he whispered. “Don’t leave me here with…”

His shoulders shook for a moment, then he composed himself. “Just forget this luna thing, come back and—”

“I’m doing this, Han,” I said. My resolve was slowly hardening.

“You can get out of this house too. Just let me help you. Pick a job. It doesn’t matter what it is. It’ll give you some freedom and you could—”

Han recoiled so fast that I jumped. “I have stuff to do,” he announced, standing up.

“Hanna,” I sighed.

“Dad’s back anyway,” he murmured. A moment later, I heard his bedroom door slam.

I was biting my nails when my parents walked into the house. Mick and Libby were right behind them. My mother looked surprised to see me, while Dad told me to stop chewing my cuticles.

I smelled lilac and mint and tensed when Libby gave me a warm hug. Her blonde hair tickled my nose as she clung to me.

“Nice to see you too,” I mumbled, unable to meet her gaze.

“I heard about your new position,” Mick said. “Congratulations.”

Before I could say thank you, he was onto the next topic: himself.

“Dad said I’m to be the human ambassador,” he informed me as if it was news. “That’s going to give me a lot of clout in the pack. A lot of influence.”

My stomach knotted as my father beamed and Sarah’s words came back to me. None of the inner pack wanted Mick to be the ambassador to the human settlement. No one wanted him involved at all.

“I came here to talk about that actually,” I said. Mick’s smile widened exponentially.

Libby planted a kiss on his hand before she vanished into the kitchen with my mom. I watched her, a mix of envy and a pinch of resentment brewing inside me. She was the picture-perfect daughter my mom had always hoped I’d be. It came so naturally to her.

“Fantastic,” my dad announced, clapping his hands together. “Micky’s up for the task.”

Mick flashed a grin as my dad’s hand landed on his shoulder, giving it a light shake. “Tyler and I were buddies back in high school. It’s no shocker he wants me as the ambassador.”

I fought the urge to cringe. I loved my brother, but sometimes he was just so oblivious.

“Trip wants our pack and the human town on Mt. Oak to have a solid relationship. He wants them to trust us, to see us as friendly neighbors, not threats.”

My dad’s face lit up. “This is the perfect job for you, Micky.”

Mick mirrored his grin. “I can do friendly.”

“This is a serious job, Mick,” I tried to emphasize the gravity of the situation.

But it was a lost cause. I could see it in his eyes, the way they glossed over. His ego was taking over, a common occurrence with my brother. “It needs to be done right.”

“Absolutely,” he agreed.

My dad was glowing with pride. “And what did he say about me, Caroline?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I replied, turning my attention back to Mick. “When Ryan was alpha, he wanted nothing to do with the humans, so we need to ensure—”

“What did Alpha Trip say about me being reinstated as a lookout?” my dad interrupted, his voice low and urgent.

I shrugged. “He didn’t mention it.”

My dad let out a loud sigh and leaned back in his chair. “He didn’t say anything?” he pressed. “Didn’t mention when I would be going back to work? When I could rejoin the lookouts?”

I felt a pang of sympathy. “No, I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t ask him about it?”

I bristled at his accusatory tone. “I only spent the morning with him,” I said, my voice tight. “I’ll ask him about it—”

“Family comes first,” my dad cut me off sharply. Mick lowered his gaze. “You need to prioritize us,” my dad lectured, running a hand through his silver hair. “Us first.”

I felt my face go slack. “I am thinking about the family—”

My father rolled his eyes. “Are you?” he challenged. “Securing the livelihood of this family should have been your first priority, Caroline.”

I turned back to Mick with a forced smile, my last defense against the tears threatening to spill. “Alpha Trip will want to speak with you in the next few days to work out a timeline and to outline his expectations.”

My mom and Libby reentered the room. Libby was carrying a platter of sandwiches and my mom had a pitcher of lemonade and iced tea.

Han came trudging down the hall when my mom called him for lunch, his face scrunching up when he saw I was still there.

We ate mostly in silence, and my mom tried to catch everyone’s eye in an attempt to figure out the source of the tension.

I picked at my meal, wishing I could go back to Trip’s empty house and his weak coffee.

“Is everything okay, sweetheart?” my mom whispered, placing a hand over my dad’s.

My dad’s dark eyes bore into me. “I want you to ask the alpha about my position tonight and I want you to come back here tomorrow morning with more information.”

Han shot up from his chair. “Don’t talk to her like that,” he hissed. “She’s going to be your luna soon.”

My dad slammed his fist on the table and my mom jumped. “She’s my daughter,” my father nearly growled, “and you’re my son. I will talk to both of you however I see fit.”

I watched Mick take Libby’s hand under the table, watched her eyes meet his, and heard their silent conversation.

My stomach knotted at the sight as my hand ached for support and reassurance. For Liam.

Han’s pale skin was flushed. “Fuck that, you don’t care about your kids. You just care about saving your fucking reputation after your fuck up.”

“Han!” my mother gasped. “That’s not true!”

My father stood, his teeth bared. “I love my children,” he said, his voice shaking with conviction.

“My children are my pride and joy. They are the reason that I am so adamant to return to my post, so they won’t have to suffer my embarrassment any longer.”

“It’s a permanent stain,” Han spat.

“Rick,” my mother murmured.

My father was beyond consolation. “You will never understand the sacrifices I made for this family, Kyle,” he roared. “You will never understand what I gave up.”

I had never seen Han look so stricken. “What you gave up?” he seethed, eyes narrowing.

“Is that what you think you did? Gave the past up? You have been living in the past for my entire life, dragging me through it with you.”

My father snarled. “You don’t understand what you’re talking about—”

“I understand perfectly,” Han snapped.

There was a long moment of silence.

“Why do you have to be like this?” my father murmured, collapsing into his chair and covering his face with his hand. My mother was shaking in her seat, her eyes glued to her middle child’s face.

Han’s mouth twisted. “Why can’t I be like him, you mean.”

I met Mick’s eyes and watched as he dropped his gaze. There was a level to this conversation that I didn’t understand. Something Han was keeping from me. From all of us.

My father’s eyes were sharp. “Don’t,” he warned.

Han was shaking. “Maybe if you had seen me instead of looking for him, I wouldn’t have disappointed you so badly, Dad,” Han whispered harshly.

“Han,” I murmured.

Han didn’t flinch. He just stared our father down.

But my father remained silent.

“Fuck this,” Han choked, rushing out of the room and out of the house. Mick rose to follow him but my father ordered him to sit, so Mick sat, obedient as always.

“Thank you for lunch, Mom,” I croaked, pushing away from the table. “I have to go back now.”

“Talk to Alpha Trip,” my father ordered quietly.

I clenched my jaw. “Catch you guys later.”

“Caroline…” Mick began, his voice laced with reluctance. I shot him a quick smile before I turned to leave, following the path Han had taken.

I tried to keep up with his scent, but it soon changed. He had shifted, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to catch up.

I paused in the yard, staring into the trees where Han had vanished. I wanted to chase after him, to make him open up to me, to reveal the truth about what was going on between him and Dad.

But Han was stubborn. No one could make him do anything he didn’t want to. It was in his nature to resist.

I began my trek up the mountain, taking my time as I navigated through the woods towards the pack territory.

The further I got from my family, the better I felt, and that realization filled me with guilt. I loved them deeply, but their presence was suffocating.

When I reached Trip’s house, I found the door locked and no sign of the alpha. I had cut my family visit short and returned too early.

He was probably still out patrolling the perimeter with Rowan, so I settled down on his porch, lounging on an Adirondack chair as I waited.

I was on the verge of dozing off when a throat clearing startled me, causing me to jump and almost tip the heavy chair over.

Looking up, my heart skipped a beat and I quickly wiped my face, catching a thin trail of drool.

Ryan Stellar was glaring at me.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, his tone not exactly harsh but filled with an authority that didn’t belong to him. His mere presence was unsettling, and I found myself siding with Trip.

Trip’s enemies were about to become my enemies, and Ryan was at the top of that list.

“I’m here for the meeting,” I retorted.

“You think anyone can just show up to these meetings?” he questioned.

“They let you in.”

Ryan laughed, the scars around his mouth twisting it into something grotesque.

“You know, I can’t stand you Ryders,” he said, glancing at me sideways. “I hate how you act so privileged, despite coming from nothing.”

I growled.

He rubbed his jaw. “The youngest Ryder,” he mused, “lost a mate in the war. Liam O’Conner, right? The kid was training to be a medic.”

I kept my face impassive, hiding the pain that his words stirred within me. Just hearing his name… The mention of his role…

“It’s common knowledge,” I said, forcing a casual tone.

“Oh, I know,” he replied. “I just wanted to remind you that you’ve lost the one thing that could’ve given you status. The mate of the pack healer is a respected position.

“But the mate of a dead medic-in-training? Not so much. You have no grounds to challenge me. No reason to act so high and mighty.”

I was suddenly grateful that my parents had chosen to keep our family isolated over the past few years. I wouldn’t have fared well under the rule of an alpha like Ryan Stellar.

He wasn’t done. “And after what your father did? Tsk.

“Your mother is an unremarkable she-wolf, your eldest brother is a laughingstock, the other one is a freak. And you? You’re just a pitiful pup, all bark and no bite.”

“I’m sure I can find a reason,” I retorted, baring my teeth.

He chuckled. “Why are you here?” he asked again, his voice dripping with sarcasm and disdain.

I flashed him my most lethal smirk.

“Because I’m your damn luna.”