Chapter 13: Chapter Thirteen

Caroline Ryder

I woke up with a backache.

“Trip?” I murmured, squinting through the early morning sunlight. I turned slowly, peeking at the alpha through the hair that had fallen onto my face.

His broad back was bare, facing me. His hair was tousled and spiked from tossing and turning on his pillow. “Are you awake?”

I kicked off the light blankets, freeing my warm legs. I sat up, my curls sticking to my damp forehead.

Trip’s house was like a furnace. My back and chest were drenched in sweat, causing my plain white t-shirt to cling to my skin.

I winced as my back muscles spasmed painfully.

I slid across the hardwood floor, then slowly lifted myself, trying to get a glimpse of Trip’s face. His mouth was slack against his arm, his eyes closed, and his chest rose and fell steadily.

His skin was flushed too, and I could see sweat at the base of his neck.

“Trip?” I whispered, reaching for his hand.

As soon as I reached over him, he growled, grabbed me, and flipped me onto my back. He had me pinned in an instant, his knee digging painfully into my thigh.

I yelped and squirmed, suddenly aware of his size.

“Trip!” I yelped.

“Del?” he blinked, shaking off the nightmare from his eyes, slowly coming back to himself as he eased off me.

I offered him a wry smile despite my racing heart. “Think a little stouter and more redheaded.”

Trip rubbed his hands over his face, then checked the time on his phone; something he only ever used for this purpose. “What are you doing?” he asked, refocusing his eyes on me.

I shrugged, unsure of what I had been doing. “My back hurts.”

He blinked.

“I think it’s time we upgrade to at least a sofa.”

Trip hesitated. “I like sleeping on the floor—”

“I know, you said it reminds you of when you were a soldier,” I said, treading carefully, “but maybe it’s too much of a reminder. It could be why you keep having so many nightmares.”

“I dream about Del dying,” he said harshly.

“Okay,” I amended, “but just now, I know you weren’t dreaming about Del.” My throat felt tight. “You growled and pinned me like an enemy. You dream about the war too.”

He looked away. “I said her name.”

“Because you wanted her comfort.” I was surprised by how hard it was for me to admit this.

Trip met my gaze. “Maybe you’re right.”

“It might be time to put some furniture in the house, start sleeping on something that resembles a mattress,” I suggested. “It would also be nice to get some food in the fridge.”

“Any chance you know how to decorate and cook?”

I grimaced. “We’ll figure both out together.”

He laughed. “Run first?”

I turned my back and winced. “Maybe not today.”

Trip raised his eyebrows. “Skipping your run? I can’t believe it!”

I blushed and threw my pillow at him. “Let’s go.”

We each took our time getting ready. I showered first, then got dressed as he did.

For the first time in a long time, I hesitated with what to wear, thinking of someone else as I rifled through my belongings.

The blue dress I wore to Trip’s welcome home party caught my eye. I picked it up for a brief moment before throwing it back down with a blush.

I wasn’t Del. Trying to be her would only highlight the glaring differences between us.

Trip’s mate had been beautiful, delicate, and lovely, brimming with a femininity that always seemed to elude me.

I slipped on a pair of ripped jean shorts and a loose white tank, deciding to skip the socks when I put on my sneakers.

My hair was a wild mess of red curls and frizz, made untamable by the humidity.

I pinched my cheeks and then scolded myself for it.

Then I bit my lower lip and gnawed at my nails, examining my pasty complexion and the thin veins shining beneath a map of freckles.

I still had a sunburn from the day before, showing up as lobster red across my shoulders and down my arms.

I felt unattractive.

This was a revelation. I felt unattractive. Something I hadn’t bothered feeling since Liam died.

What was attractiveness when I was set to be alone forever? My nails were almost bitten down to their beds as I realized I ~wanted~ to be attractive.

“Caroline?”

I jumped and turned, blushing deeply at the thought of Trip catching me ogling myself in the mirror.

I fumbled for a smile and brushed my hand through my hair, leaning against the dresser as casually as I could. “Yeah?”

“Ready to go?” he asked, his smile innocent. Either he was oblivious to the moment I had just had with myself or he was ignoring it for my sake.

I nodded and followed him out of the house, falling into step beside him.

The sun was scorching, reminding me that I had, yet again, forgotten to apply sunscreen. I looked down at my cursed complexion. I’d have another layer of freckles by dusk.

“What do you miss from before the war?” Trip asked as we walked, his voice light and reminiscent.

I peeked at him, squinting in the sun. He wore a pair of sunglasses and was smiling down at me with a cheeky tilt to his face.

I hesitated for a moment, cycling through possible responses in my mind and discarding ones that were either too personal or too superficial.

“A lot of things,” I said vaguely.

Trip’s smile spread. “I miss high school.”

I snorted. “Of course, you do, you were the king there.”

He shrugged. “I was the alpha-to-be. Everyone wanted to befriend me.”

“I miss being in the towns and cities. It’s so different now, having to stay isolated on the territory.”

Just as I said that, Trip and I wandered into the market. It was run by a few of the pack’s older ladies, who were content to sit by stands of fruit and vegetables all day and swap tips and recipes.

A whole other team was responsible for growing the crops or transporting the goods from Mt. Oaks.

Trade was now precarious between the wolves and humans. Before, we had been able to stroll into grocery stores. Now, that was forbidden.

The food we ate came from the humans, and they wanted to keep track of just how much we were eating, and pay for the privilege in the form of heavy taxes.

The food market was nothing more than a bunch of heavy-duty tents, the kind that reminded me of the makeshift shelters we used during the war.

A few small, solid buildings had been constructed around the edges to store food and provide a place for the goods when the weather turned sour.

The women in the market primped and preened as Trip strolled in and grabbed a basket. One woman nearly fell out of her chair, she was leaning so far over.

“I miss going to the movies,” Trip said. “I loved the popcorn, the uncomfortable seats, the make-out sessions.” He waggled his eyebrows at me and picked out a bunch of ripe bananas.

I hovered over the fruit, wishing someone had chosen green apples instead of red.

“I wish I’d been older before everything started. By the time I could pass for twenty-one, human places had already banned us.”

“I’m surprised,” he said thoughtfully. “This is coming from the girl who shied away when I offered her a beer.”

I blushed, remembering the small gathering with his friends. “Alcohol wasn’t a priority for me in high school, and getting drunk was the last thing on my mind during the war.”

“A lot of people felt the opposite way,” Trip said, his eyes distant.

“Liam and I used to go to the city to watch baseball games,” I said, laughing. “He always got a hot dog and would make a complete mess of himself.”

My smile faded with a sharp pang in my heart and I cleared my throat, tossing the apples into the basket.

Trip swallowed hard. “I could never get Del to watch sports. The only thing she liked to watch was soccer, and that bored me to death.” I looked up, surprised.

Trip smiled. “We don’t have to pretend like they never existed.”

“Liam played soccer as a kid,” I said, feeling that pang again. “He was built for it. We used to run together all the time. He was the only one to give me a run for my money… No offense.”

Trip chuckled. “I can’t say long distance is my forte.”

“Goddess,” I swore, “it’s still hard to believe that he’s gone.”

Trip hovered near a pile of tomatoes. “I always expect to see her around every corner, on the front porch, in the passenger seat of a car.”

“Do you like celery?” I asked, my voice thick.

He shook his head. “Hate it.”

I passed by the cursed vegetable. “Were you two fully mated?” I asked carefully, daring to look at him for only a fleeting second.

Trip nodded. “We hadn’t been for long,” he murmured.

“She wanted to wait until the war was over, but the longer it dragged on, the more we realized we might not have as much time as we would’ve liked.”

He paused. “I think she always thought that I wouldn’t make it through. I saw the worry in her eyes whenever… I never imagined that it was going to be her who…”

My stomach clenched. “Liam was a medic,” I scoffed. “He should’ve been safe. Rules of war and all that. It was my fault—” My throat closed up and I gripped the fruit stand as I swayed.

I had never admitted my fault in Liam’s death out loud. Never heard the words spoken.

Trip’s hand came to my back. Large and warm, it offered me comfort as he rubbed circles into my skin. “We’re fine, thank you.”

I looked up to see a worried elderly lady with big watery eyes. I forced a smile and straightened, taking the basket from Trip and throwing in a bag of carrots and a few oranges.

Trip caught up to me. “If you want to talk to me about that,” he said quietly, “I can help you with it. I’ll understand.”

I looked up and met his eyes. “I’d like that.”

We continued through the market, picking up on each other’s likes and dislikes as we squabbled over allergies and preferences.

We scrambled for meal ideas, resorting to picking out whatever sounded good. We’d figure out how to throw it together later.

I caught a flurry of curious stares and murmured rumors as the women wondered about the relationship between Trip and me. It was both bothersome and flattering to be the subject of gossip.

And if I’m honest, it was rewarding to know that people considered there could be a relationship between us at all.

Trip and I were walking back to the house, laughing as we tried to trip one another, when we stumbled upon Rowan and Bennie laughing hysterically in front of Trip’s porch.

“Alpha!” Bennie yelled in greeting before bursting into laughter again.

Trip looked at me and shrugged before dropping the groceries off on the front porch and joining his friends.

I wandered over a moment later, noticing the slight, dark wolf that was standing at the side of the house.

“He won’t change back,” Rowan explained, his eyes shining with tears of hearty laughter. “You should see him, Trip, it’s hysterical.”

Trip didn’t know whether to smile or frown. “What did you guys do to him this time?”

“He’s been trying to grow out his hair,” Rowan explained.

Bennie nodded. “He wants to try out the man-bun trend.”

“Obviously, Bennie and I are good friends,” Rowan added.

“We couldn’t let him go through with it.”

Trip groaned. “You shaved his head.”

The boys started howling.

“Just down the middle,” Bennie said, struggling to catch his breath.

From a few paces away, the dark wolf snapped and snarled.

Trip punched Rowan’s shoulder. “This is why Aaron is always so skittish!” he cried. “Why it’s always such a damn hassle to get him to come to anything. He has every reason now to be wary of you guys.”

Rowan rolled his eyes. “You partook in a lot of pranks yourself, Trip.”

“When we were kids in high school,” Trip grumbled.

“It’s funny right, Caroline?” Rowan prompted.

I looked at the scowling lookout and sighed. “I grew up with two brothers and constantly lived in fear of being pranked,” I said, a tiny smile rising to my lips.

“But Mick was the weak one and he got the brunt of it. So, to me, it’s pretty funny.”

The boys started laughing again and I caught Trip gazing at me with a bright smile.

“Change back,” Trip told Aaron.

The wolf let out a low growl.

“Go for it!” Bennie encouraged. “Show us!”

Aaron’s gaze found mine.

“Seriously,” Rowan yelled, “she’s got two brothers and she’s already mated. Nothing you’ve got is going to surprise her.”

Trip let out a growl and I couldn’t help but laugh; Rowan was spot on. After a few more minutes of coaxing, the lookout finally changed back.

Aaron stood there, stark naked, his hands strategically placed as he scowled and grumbled.

His thick black hair, just beginning to curl behind his ears, was divided by a line of shaved hair running down the center of his head.

Trip was the first to burst into laughter, and soon all four of us were in stitches.

“Gross,” Sarah groaned as she strolled over. “Put it away, Aaron.”

“Someone get me some pants,” Aaron grumbled, his cheeks flushed.

“Bennie, go fetch him something,” Trip commanded, having had his fill of the teasing.

He turned to Sarah and they exchanged greetings. The enforcer filled her alpha in on her team’s status and the preparations being made in case Elliot Moray decided to attack.

Bennie came sprinting back with a pair of shorts in his hand.

Naturally, he used his towering height to make Aaron jump awkwardly while trying to maintain his modesty.

“We’re well protected if they attack from the southeast, but heading west gets complicated because of the terrain—”

Sarah’s words morphed into a low growl as the sound of approaching footsteps filled the air.

“Nobody told me we were having a pack meeting,” Ryan announced as he sauntered up. I instinctively moved to Trip’s side, feeling my place there as his shoulders tensed and his nostrils flared.

Rowan’s face lost all traces of laughter as he met my gaze, then took his place on Trip’s other side.

My stomach twisted and my heart pounded as I stared at the man who had put my brother in danger.

“You’re not invited to any meetings until I decide what to do with you,” Trip snarled.

Ryan raised an eyebrow, his buzzed hair catching the sunlight. “I was just following orders, Trip.”

“Your own,” Trip shot back.

Ryan shrugged. “I thought it was best for the pack. Given your plans for the humans, I didn’t see why we should wait to make contact with them.”

“That’s not your decision,” Trip retorted.

Ryan smirked, the scar above his lip distorting his face and making him look ugly.

“I wasn’t sure if you were ever going to do it. You’ve been so distracted with”—he shot me a glare—“someone.”

Trip growled. “You’re crossing a line.” I saw Sarah tense and felt the atmosphere shift. Trip was in danger.

Slowly, Theo crept toward us, lowering his gaze as he positioned himself behind Ryan.

“You’re a traitor,” I said to Ryan, my tongue feeling heavy.

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “You would know all about traitors, being the daughter of one.”

“Enough,” Trip barked harshly. “Don’t talk to her.”

“She’s the luna, right?” Ryan asked. “She has a voice and she’s not afraid to use it. How’s your brother, Caroline? Is he okay after losing a bar fight to a couple of humans?”

“That was an order,” Trip spat, stepping forward and invading Ryan’s personal space. Ryan flinched slightly, his lip curling even more.

They were almost the same height; Trip was just a smidge taller. Ryan, however, was bulkier. “Don’t fucking talk to her like that.”

I moved to step forward but Rowan grabbed my wrist and subtly shook his head.

“As your beta,” Ryan said, “I feel obligated to tell you that you’re seriously downgrading, Trip. To go from Del to this—”

Ryan’s nose erupted in a gush of blood as Trip landed a punch.

Before Ryan could react, Trip grabbed his collar and slammed him to the ground. Trip’s knee was at his throat a moment later, his face inches from Ryan’s bleeding nose.

“You’re a fucking mutt, you know that, Stells? To think that I once considered you a friend—”

“I don’t want your friendship,” Ryan spat, his blood splattering Trip’s face. “You let those close to you ~burn~—”

Sarah shifted just as Trip started pummeling Ryan’s mouth until Ryan’s teeth were covered in thick blood.

“Fuck you,” Trip gasped, landing another punch. His punch, though strong, was thrown off by the heat and emotion behind it.

Ryan turned his head and Trip’s fist just grazed his temple and hit the ground, giving Ryan the opportunity to knee Trip in the body and return Trip’s assault with a punch of his own.

The blow sent Trip flying upward and over, landing on his back, blood now streaming from his eyebrow.

I called out his name and Rowan grabbed me, pulling me back as Ryan threw his weight over and pinned Trip.

Ryan landed one more punch to Trip’s jaw before Sarah tackled the beta, snarling as she bit into his thigh and shook her head.

Ryan screamed and Theo made a move to intervene, which prompted Rowan to let me go.

The third cornered the scout a moment later, and Rowan growled as he crouched before Trip, protecting his alpha from his pack mate.

I ran to Trip, kneeling beside him as he sat up and spat out blood. I tried to examine the wound on his head but he brushed me away, his eyes filled with rage and regret.

He staggered to his feet, still disoriented from the blow, and ordered Sarah off Ryan.

Sarah complied, snapping and snarling as she kept her tail low and circled, coming to stand beside Trip’s knee.

The head enforcer snarled every time Ryan moved, darting forward to pin him for a moment when he tried to stand.

Ryan held his hands up and stayed still on the ground, his eyes bright from the violence and his face, neck, and chest covered in his blood.

He laughed then. The sound was terrible as he tried to mask his disappointment of defeat.

“You win this time,” Ryan mumbled, blood dribbling down his chin. “Good thing your bitch was here to—”

Sarah snarled.

“You are no longer my beta,” Trip said, his voice empty. “Attacking me was an act of treason. You are banished from this pack.”

Ryan squared his shoulders, his voice steady. “I challenge you for it. I challenge you for the position of alpha.”

Trip’s eyes held a deep sadness, but no shock. “I’d hoped you wouldn’t.”

“You knew I would,” Ryan shot back, his gaze steady. “I ~earned~ that title, Tyler. You just waltzed back here and took it all from me; claimed everything I had worked for as yours.”

“Because it is mine!” Trip roared, his voice silencing even the birds in the trees. “It is ~mine~. I am the alpha. I am the alpha of this pack, this territory, these people.

“You have no claim. Everything you did in my absence was in service to ~me~. You’re mistaken if you think you can take what is rightfully mine, what was given by the goddess, what I was born to hold in ~my~ hands.

“You will lose, Ryan, and you will regret it.”

Ryan rose slowly, his eyes on Sarah and his hands out in front of him. He glanced at Theo, who was standing just behind Rowan. “Let’s go,” he said.

Trip growled, his body trembling. “Theo is part of ~my~ pack. He doesn’t go anywhere unless I say so.

“Get the hell out of here, Ryan, and don’t speak to anyone. You will vanish and then you will be forgotten.”

Ryan’s eyes glowed with pure resentment. “I’m coming back to take it all from you, Trip.”

Trip spat at Ryan’s feet. “Fuck you.”

We all stood frozen as Ryan walked away, disappearing into the trees. Trip exhaled heavily, ran his hand over his face, and then stared at the blood on his palm as if he couldn’t believe it.

Sarah whimpered and pressed her ears to her head as she moved closer to Trip, her instinct to protect and comfort her alpha still strong.

Trip’s breathing was ragged, his eyes glazed as he turned to face us.

“Rowan,” he said, his voice raw, “you are now my beta.”

Rowan lifted his head; his eyes were red with tears. “Alpha.”

Trip winced and then staggered toward Theo, pointing a bloody finger at him. “You are part of ~my~ pack,” he said to the scout. “You were ~my~ friend.”

“I’d like to be again,” Theo rumbled.

Trip flinched, a tear falling from his eye and landing on his cheek. “Okay, okay.”

“Tyler,” Rowan called, “maybe you should—”

But Trip wasn’t listening to his new beta.

He was walking toward me, his green eyes shot through with red. He stopped right in front of me, his bloody hands cupping my face.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss me. The pressure was gone before I could react, his eyes once again meeting mine. “I will never let you burn,” he promised.

“Tyler, I—” My voice caught as he pulled away, wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and leaned on me. He was heavier than he looked.

“We’ll meet tomorrow,” Trip said, his voice strained with exhaustion.

“Trip, I can get Jackie and Neil. I can—”

Trip held up his hand, cutting Rowan off. “Tomorrow.”

“But your face,” Bennie said, his bottom lip trembling.

“Caroline can take care of it,” Trip mumbled, pulling me toward the house. He stopped to pick up our groceries, waving me off when I tried to help.

Trip didn’t say another word as we made it through the front door. He set the groceries down on the staircase and sat beside them, holding his head in his hands.

I closed the front door and stood between his legs, holding my breath as I gently lifted his face to look at me.

I brushed my thumb over the wound, wiping away some of the blood to see it better. He stared up at me with fresh tears welling in his eyes as he gritted his teeth.

Slowly, he caught my hands in his and dropped them to my side before taking my face and kissing me again, this time with more urgency.

I kissed him back, my body taking a few seconds to fall back into the rhythm of intimacy. He tasted of blood and the orange we had shared on the way back from the market.

He pulled away slowly, his forehead resting against mine.

“It’s okay, Tyler,” I whispered. “He was your friend and you loved him.”

His shoulder shook with a sob and he let out a small sound before he pressed his face into my shoulder and muffled his cries against my skin.

I didn’t care about the blood that soaked my shirt and stained my skin. I placed my hands at the nape of his neck, holding him to me as I kissed his head, and held my beautiful, broken, alpha.