Chapter 11: Chapter Eleven

Caroline Ryder

I darted past Rowan, racing towards my brother. I reached him just as he stumbled, his weight falling onto me. We both collapsed onto the ground, Trip joining us a moment later. His eyes were wide with panic as he helped me support Mick.

“Mick!” I cried out, my voice choked with fear. I touched his face, slick with blood and unnaturally pale.

His eyes fluttered, and I dug my nails into his skin, hoping the sharp pain would bring him back to consciousness.

“Mick,” Trip said, his voice firm, “Mick, who did this to you?”

“Alpha,” Aaron reported, “my wolves only saw him. There’s no sign of any intruders.”

Trip turned to his head lookout. “Double the patrol. I want the entire territory perimeter staked out.”

I shook Mick, trying to rouse him. “Mick,” I pleaded, “wake up.”

His eyes opened for a brief moment before closing again.

I held his face, struggling to breathe. Panic was closing in, my vision blurring with black spots. Memories flooded back—memories of me in this same position, holding a different boy.

Trip was crouched in front of Mick, barking out orders that I tried to comprehend.

“Theo, send search parties down the mountainside. Jackie, go to the Ryders’ house and bring Mick’s family.

“Sarah, tell all enforcers to patrol the perimeter and outposts. Bennie, alert all pack members about a potential attack.

“Rowan, stay here for the Ryders’ arrival. Ryan, get the pack doctor.”

My stomach twisted at the last command. I hadn’t seen the pack doctor since the day Liam died in my arms.

Mick groaned, and I turned my attention back to him, pushing away memories of my mate to focus on my brother. “Micky,” I gasped, “we need you to wake up.”

I ran my fingers through his hair, cradling his head in my lap. A large gash was visible under his red hair. My throat tightened when I saw a piece of glass embedded in his scalp.

“My mistake,” he mumbled, his words slurred.

“What did you do?” Trip asked, his eyes scanning Mick for other injuries. He silently pointed out a long gash on Mick’s left forearm.

Mick tried to speak but couldn’t form the words. Judging by the gash on his head, I guessed he was concussed.

“Mick,” I whispered, “it’s okay. You’re safe.”

He reached up and grabbed my arm, his eyes meeting mine. “Caroline—”

“Mick!” Libby’s voice cut through the clearing. I looked up to see my brother’s mate sprinting towards us, her blonde hair streaming behind her.

Close behind her, Jackie was running towards us with the rest of my family.

Libby dropped to her knees beside Mick, sliding in the dirt as she threw her arms around him.

He responded to her touch, opening his eyes to look at her.

“What happened?” she asked, turning to me.

I was speechless. I’d known Libby for years but had barely spoken to her since Liam’s death. Seeing her was a painful reminder of what I could have been if Liam hadn’t died.

Now, seeing her holding my brother, it was a reminder of the day I lost him.

Trip stepped in. “We don’t know yet. I’ve sent out scouts and our lookouts are on patrol. We need Mick to tell us what happened.”

Fear surged through me as I heard my father’s voice. He was running towards us, his footsteps heavy.

“Mick!” he shouted, stopping short when he saw the blood on Mick’s face and shoulder. Han, looking like a mirror image of our father, stopped behind him.

“Dad,” I managed to say, “he—”

“My baby!” my mother cried out, kneeling beside Libby. She placed her hand on Mick’s chest, calling his name and crying, hoping her love would wake him.

My dad was furious, his face red beneath his silver hair. “What the hell happened to my son, Alpha?” he demanded. “Where did you send him? What did you have him do?”

Trip growled. “I didn’t send him anywhere. He left without my knowledge.”

“Is this how you run your pack?” my father shot back.

Trip was on the verge of snarling. “I never meant—”

Han looked like a ghost as he stared at Mick. “Care?” he asked, his dark eyes meeting mine.

I held out my bloodied hand to him. He came to me, collapsing into my arms and resting his face on my shoulder.

“I want answers!” my father shouted.

“Move!” Neil yelled, pushing through the crowd with his worn leather medic’s bag.

The pack doctor was old, too old for such a demanding job, but Liam had been his intended successor and he hadn’t found a replacement yet.

My mother pulled Libby away from Mick. Han and I moved aside too, making sure to gently place Mick’s head on the grass.

Neil glanced at me before focusing on Mick. He checked Mick’s pupils, inspected his wounds, and rummaged through his medic kit.

As I watched him, I saw Liam.

I saw him studying his medical textbooks, falling asleep surrounded by his notes, crying after losing his first patient in the war, tending to a wound on my thigh.

I cleared my throat and held Han tighter, looking up at Trip. He was watching me, his eyes filled with guilt.

This wasn’t his fault.

“He’s concussed,” Neil finally said, confirming my earlier guess.

I watched as the doctor used tweezers to extract the shard of glass lodged in Mick’s skin. Blood immediately gushed from the wound, causing Libby to sway on her feet.

Rowan, under Neil’s guidance, pressed a gauze pad to Mick’s head, his jaw clenched as he tried to keep his composure.

The doctor then turned his attention to my brother’s arm, deciding it was less urgent than the head injury. Everyone but me averted their eyes as the doctor started stitching.

“His injuries look worse than they are,” Neil said quietly as he worked, and I saw my mother’s tense shoulders relax a bit. “I’d wager he got into a bar fight.”

“Impossible!” my father exploded. “Mick in a bar fight?”

“He wouldn’t,” Libby agreed, her voice barely above a whisper.

“The glass in his scalp is from a beer bottle,” Neil explained. “The cut and bruising on his arm suggest he was trying to defend himself. He’s weak from blood loss and has a concussion, but I don’t think we’re under attack.”

“It’s my fault,” Mick managed to say through a wince. “I didn’t know.”

I caught Trip’s eye and gave a nod.

“That doesn’t add up,” my father argued. “Mick wouldn’t start a fight.”

Han nodded in agreement. “As much as I hate to say it, I’m with Dad on this one.”

Trip sighed and rubbed his neck. “We’ll get to the bottom of this. Right now, Mick needs to rest and recover. He’ll be better by morning and we can figure out what happened then.”

I watched as Trip stood and walked away, his hands on his hips and his head bowed.

I started to follow him, but Han grabbed my arm. “You’re going to him?”

“I have to, Han,” I replied. “I’m the luna.”

“You accepted?”

I shook my head. “No, but… You know what I mean.”

“You’re choosing him,” Han accused.

“Only if you make it a choice,” I retorted. I bit my lip gently and wiped my bloody hands on my pants.

“Han, we need to talk about Dad when this is over. I need to know what you know. It came up today and—”

“You don’t want to know,” Han interrupted.

“So, you are hiding something from me?” I asked.

Han’s eyes darkened. “Dad is the one with secrets.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Seems like you have some too.”

Han glanced at Mick and sighed. “Do you think Dad would’ve reacted the same if…if—”

“Of course,” I said, gripping his arm as my throat tightened. “Han, he ’loves’ you. I don’t know why you two are always at odds, but I know he loves you. He loves all of us.”

Han shrugged me off with a half-hearted smile. “I don’t need his love, Care, I was just morbidly curious.” I wasn’t sure who Han was trying to fool anymore.

“Okay, Hanna,” I teased, pushing myself to my feet. I glanced back at Mick, who was now in the care of his mate and our parents, before turning and walking toward Trip.

I approached him slowly and quietly, careful not to startle him. He was staring into the trees, the bonfire slowly dying beside him. I stood next to him, stealing glances at his face.

“Mick will be okay,” I said softly. “He made a mistake by going to Mt. Oaks without talking to you… To us.”

Trip took a shaky breath. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

His confession took me by surprise.

Trip looked down at me, a hollow smile on his face. “When I was younger, I thought being alpha was simple. I thought being a leader was easy.

“A bit of intimidation, a bit of charm, a few stern orders. I thought people would just do as I said and everything would fall into place.

“I didn’t think… I wasn’t prepared for…” He took a deep breath and shook his head.

I nudged his shoulder with mine. “If it makes you feel better, I don’t know what I’m doing either.”

That earned me a shaky laugh. “I’m sorry about your brother, Caroline. Even if I didn’t send him out there, Ryan did it because of me, to get back at me, to target me.

“Mick got caught in the crossfire and I’m responsible for that.”

I nodded. “Thank you for apologizing.”

He looked down at me, his green eyes filled with worry. “Thank you for accepting it.”

Slowly, I slipped my bloodstained hand into his. His face softened for a moment before he smiled and squeezed my fingers, turning back to the forest before I could see the tears welling in his eyes.

“We’ll figure this out,” I assured him. “We’ll learn together.”

Trip looked down and a tear fell to the ground. He didn’t try to hide it from me this time, turning to me with a shaky smile. “Thank you, Caroline, for saying yes when I asked you.”

I didn’t know how to thank him for what he had given me; for the chance to live again, to thrive.

I didn’t know how to tell him how much it meant to me that he cared about my family, that he asked about them, that he shared my concern for their well-being.

He squeezed my hand again and then, after a moment’s hesitation, he kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes, feeling breathless as I shivered.

The gesture was so tender, so familiar, that it shook me.

“I’ll meet you at home,” he whispered. “I’m going to go find Aaron and Theo.” Without another word, he let go of my hand and transformed, landing on all fours and shaking out his fur.

I watched as his wolf form disappeared into the woods, his howl echoing through the night a few moments later, sending a shiver down my spine.

~“I’ll meet you at home.”~

“Caroline,” Jackie greeted as she approached me. I shivered as the fire died down and the cool mountain air swept over me. I turned to face the peacemaker, my stomach knotting.

“Jackie,” I replied, my voice stiff.

“I get it’s been a while since we last spoke,” she began, “and I understand I might not be your favorite person to talk to, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m here for you.”

Her dark eyes locked onto mine. “And as a friend, if you need one.”

I hugged myself, watching her eyes drop to the blood staining my skin. “Thanks, but Mick’s okay and—”

“I was actually talking about your transition to luna,” she interrupted. “It can be tough, and building a relationship with Tyler after—”

I took a sharp breath. “I don’t need your help.”

Her smile was brief. “Like I said,” she murmured, “I’m offering friendship too.”

“I have friends,” I retorted.

She raised an eyebrow. “Where are they?”

I glanced at Han over her shoulder. “I have family,” I corrected.

Jackie nodded. “Trip treats his friends like family, Caroline.”

“Got it,” I replied, my tone rigid. I moved past her, bracing myself as I headed towards my father. He was still fuming, still arguing with Neil as he searched for someone to believe in Mick’s innocence.

“Caroline, tell the doctor that your brother would never—”

I placed a hand on his arm. “Dad, let’s go for a walk.” I guided him gently but firmly away from Mick.

As we moved further into the darkness, the wind howling through the trees, I pulled him closer. He was stiff and silent for the first few hundred yards.

Then he started to fall apart, his hands shaking and his dark eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. His lips quivered and his head swiveled around searching for Mick.

I gripped his arm tighter, scared by his behavior. “Dad, he’s okay.”

“He’s hurt,” he whispered, his voice trembling.

I pulled him to a stop. “Dad, Mick will be fine.”

“I can’t lose your brother,” he confessed when we were far enough away that no one could overhear us. He clutched my arm tightly. “I can’t lose Mick or Kyle. I can’t go through that again, Caroline. Never again.”

“Again?” I echoed, my breath turning cold.

His eyes were empty when he realized his slip-up. He tried to pull away but I held onto him firmly, drawing him towards me as I stared at him intensely.

“Don’t ask me, Caroline,” he pleaded. “Please don’t ask.”

“Han always says that you compare him to someone else. I thought he meant Mick…” I shook my head. “Dad…, did you and Mom have another kid?”

He shook his head. “No. You, Mick, and Kyle are the only children your mother and I have.”

My stomach sank. “Do ~you~ have another child?”

He was silent.

I stepped back in shock. “I have another sibling?”

My father buried his face in his hands. “Goddess,” he whispered, “what have I done?”

“Dad,” I urged, my voice choked. “~Please.~”

He lifted his weary eyes to mine.

“I was in love before I met your mother,” he confessed, hanging his head in shame. “The she-wolf I was…involved with…she was from a neighboring pack and I was instantly drawn to her.”

I was shivering now, so much so that my teeth were chattering. “Does Mom know?”

His dark eyes filled with tears. “No.”

“How could you?” I gasped, pressing a hand to my stomach.

“I was young, Caroline!” he defended. “Just a kid, no older than Han. I met Natalie when I had given up hope of ever finding my mate.

“She was beautiful and captivating. We had a lot in common and there was a physical attraction that I had never felt before.”

I cringed. “So, what happened?”

He covered his face. “Sometimes, I think that we can have more than one soul mate, Caroline. Natalie and I were perfectly matched in so many ways.

“After spending a few months with her, I almost believed that we were mates.”

“Dad…”

His breath was ragged. “I messed up, Caroline. I fooled myself, fooled her, into thinking that what we were doing was right. I never thought I’d meet your mother.

“Natalie got pregnant and-and…we had—~have~—a son.”

I backed up until I found myself sitting on the ground, my knees drawn up to my chest. “A son,” I murmured. “Another child with another woman.”

My father knelt in front of me, taking my hands in his. “I met your mother a few months after he was born and I had to leave them.”

I stared at him in horror. “You just pretended that he didn’t exist?”

“Of course not,” my father denied. “I always thought of them but I had met your mother and I had found my place as a lookout in my pack.

“I would’ve lost everything if I had stayed with Natalie and—”

“So, what? You had Mick and it was fine? You had a replacement son and you could keep the secret?”

“No,” he growled, “it was always hard for me.”

“I’m sure,” I scoffed.

His face twisted with anger. “I wasn’t the only one who messed up! Natalie found her mate and she left him too! We are both guilty—”

My heart was frozen. “You let your son be abandoned twice over?”

A tear fell onto his cheek. “Caroline, you have to understand that, by that time, I had Mick and your mother and I couldn’t risk my true family by taking in my illegitimate one.”

“That’s what my brother is to you? Illegitimate?”

“I don’t expect you to understand,” my dad lamented.

My mind was spinning. “Why Han? Why do you resent him so much for not measuring up?” My father opened his mouth and then shook his head. “No,” I growled, “you owe me this answer.”

He looked at me darkly. “Han and…and your other brother…they look alike.”

I lost my breath. “So, they look alike and that’s why you punish Han?”

“I don’t—” he stopped and covered his face.

“What happened to him?” I asked, my voice heavy.

Tears were streaming down my father’s face. “I’m not sure. Natalie handed him over to another pack, I think. It was all hushed up when she found her true mate.

“I’ve heard whispers but I haven’t been able to confirm them, and then the war threw everything into chaos.”

“How did Han find out?” I asked, my heart hardened by this secret.

My father rubbed his face.

“I keep a picture of my first son. Han stumbled upon it once, he thought it was of him. When he asked me about it, my reaction was… I was upset. I called him by the wrong name.”

“Oh, Dad…”

He was trembling slightly as the tears flowed faster. “You have to understand, Caroline, that this haunts me. Not knowing what happened to him, the guilt of the decision Natalie and I made.

“Sometimes, I am so consumed with sorrow that I lose myself. When Han showed me that photo…”

I reached for him, steadying his shoulder. “You have to tell Mick. Y-You have to tell Mom.”

“I can’t,” he exploded. “They’ll never forgive me.”

“They will,” I assured him, knowing their nature.

“Will you?” he asked.

“I need time,” I whispered, my stomach churning.

My father came to sit beside me, his teary eyes looking up at the sky. The moonlight always gave his white hair a blue hue.

“I’ve hurt that boy beyond repair,” he admitted to the stars. “I am a disgraceful father for it.”

“Mom loves you,” I murmured, trying to comprehend. “She would have loved him, would have loved every part of you, if you had let her.”

He held my hand. “Perhaps you’re right.” He didn’t sound convinced.

“What happened to Natalie?” I asked, her name tasting like poison on my tongue.

It was tough to picture my father with a woman who wasn’t my mother. Even tougher to imagine him and another woman bringing a child into this world.

My father ran his trembling hands through his hair. “Natalie mated to a human,” he said roughly, his eyes haunted. “Caroline…”

“Yes?” I said, knowing that the armor I had built around my heart would be no defense against the blow he was about to deliver.

“Natalie mated with Stan Freeman.”

I pulled away as everything started to make sense. Natalie Freeman, the woman I had seen on TV. She was strikingly beautiful, her hair a pale blonde and her eyes a light silver.

Stan Freeman, her estranged human mate, the man who led the Sun Warriors, the human group that instigated the war between werewolves and humans.

Stan Freeman, who despised our kind because he had been rejected by his mate. Stan Freeman, who called for the eradication of wolves, despite his daughter being one.

His daughter.

“Lux Freeman is the daughter of Natalie—the woman you had a child with.”

My father swallowed and nodded solemnly.

I felt terror surge in me, bringing bile up to my throat. “She was there,” I gasped. “Lux Freeman was there the day of the fire. The day Alpha Vex died. The day Liam died.”

My father was shaking with sobs. “It isn’t what you think, Caroline.”

“That’s why you weren’t at your post, isn’t it?” I asked, trembling with this revelation.

“Fuck,” he cursed. “I’m so sorry, Caroline.”

“What were you doing that day, Dad?”

He stood and began pacing. I cried out and lunged at him, throwing my body against his and pounding his chest and arms. “Tell me!” I screamed. “Tell me what you were doing that day!”

“I saw her!” he yelled, his voice raw. “I saw Natalie and I thought… I thought she had come for me. I thought she was going to expose us; that she was going to tell your mother.”

“That’s not it, is it?” I hissed. “You still love her!”

“Of course I do!” he yelled back, his eyes bloodshot. “She’s the mother of my child!”

I recoiled. “So what? You chased after Natalie and—”

He closed his eyes. “It wasn’t Natalie. It was her daughter, Lux.”

“Did you speak to her?” I asked.

“No,” he denied, “I never got that far. I saw her from my station. She was with two male wolves and I left to follow her. I thought at first that it was Natalie but I realized after it wasn’t.

“Even then, I wanted to speak to her, to ask about her mother, about her brother.”

I remembered that day well. I remembered Keegan Stone standing in front of the pack and asking for help.

I remembered volunteering. I remembered catching a glimpse of Lux Freeman. I remembered seeing her walk with Sophie.

When the dust had settled, Lux and her friends were gone, leaving us to clean up the mess.

“That’s what made you leave your post,” I said, unable to believe it. Of all the reasons I had imagined over the years, this was far beyond anything I could have conceived.

“There are so many things I would change if I could, Caroline,” my father told me, his voice echoing the deep troubles he had been harboring for decades.

“I wouldn’t have abandoned my son, wouldn’t have punished Han all these years for my mistake, wouldn’t have kept your mother in the dark.

“Maybe if I had been honest all these years, I could have been truthful about why I left my post.

“I could have found someone to replace me instead of rushing away in shame, telling myself nothing would happen while I was gone.”

“Maybe I would have forgiven you if you had told me then,” I whispered, watching his face crumble with despair.

“Maybe I would’ve forgiven you if you hadn’t been the cause of so much pain and suffering. If you hadn’t destroyed my future to chase your past.”

“Please, Caroline,” he pleaded, falling to his knees. “Please—”

“My brother,” I said, leaning away from him. “What’s his name.”

My father drew in a breath.

“Grant Ryder.”