I was driving down to see my parents after I left Nancy at the house. In a hurry to go out, IÂ forgot to take the keys from her. I should have told her to leave so I could lock the door.
But I was desperate to meet my parents so much that I didn't care about anything.
Nancy had told me not to look further, or to find out what happened. All of this sounded strange to me. And in fact, a lot of things were happening which didn't make sense.
I started to wonder what else would make sense. Will meeting my parents provide anything useful? I asked myself as I drove.
Considering the happy mood in which my parents were when I called them, I had a feeling I wouldn't get much out of my meeting with them.
And as much as I hoped they would tell me something I could use, I just had to conclude it would also end with them still telling me to give up on finding the truth.
I just couldn't get past the idea of not knowing what really happened to Ola and why. On reaching my parent's house, I honked the horn of my car. The gateman seeing me, opened the gate. I drove in and parked my car. I sat in the car for a while before deciding to go in.
On reaching the front door I knocked while I took a deep breath, waiting for my mother to open.
I knew she would be in the house as she never really went anywhere apart from the supermarket or when she went out with my dad. She was the typical housewife always waiting patiently for my dad to come home.
When the door finally opened, I was hoping to see my mum welcome me in. But, I was wrong. She had left the door and walked away leaving me to enter unattended. I entered and closed the door.
I then looked around the house like I was a stranger. The house I lived and grew up in, carried the same welcoming atmosphere as before. But for once, I felt a little strange being inside it.
"Tola, I'm here, don't just stand looking around. Nothing about the house has changed since you left."Â My mother was sitting down a little too relaxed, with her hands folded across her chest.
One look at her told me she was probably prepared to answer any question I might have. I had questions, but knew I might not get the answers I really needed.
"How are you and how is daddy?" I asked, as I came to sit down opposite her. For a brief moment she didn't answer me but stared straight into my eyes.
"I should be asking you the same question, my daughter."
"Well, as you can see, I'm struggling with a loss I can't explain how it happened."
"Your dad and I are sorry for your loss. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it from happening."
I was a little surprised by that statement. Coming from my mother, it sounded like Ola's death had already been decided.
"I mean, you knew it was going to happen?"
"Tola, am I a witch to know that?"
"Sorry mum, I was only asking, since you said I couldn't have done anything to prevent it."
"Tola try and understand me and stop arriving at some unnecessary conclusions."
"But mum have I said you know something about it or did I accuse you?" Just then the front door opened and my father came in. I got up when I saw him.
"Welcome dad." I greeted.
"Ah, has my big girl come to see me?"
"Papa Tola, warn your daughter, o. Warn her very well." I looked at my mother in disbelief. She was taking my question so seriously enough to be angry with me. I looked at my father as he stared at her.
"It's alright now Fola. Seeing she's grieving the loss of her husband, you shouldn't be too hard on her."
"I only told her she couldn't prevent it from happening. She is now trying to say I know something about Ola's death." I sat down again after greeting my dad, wondering why my mother was taking it all wrongly.
My father came to sit down and looked at me calculatingly. I knew he was about to ask me a question. And promptly, he did.
"Tola my daughter, I know you want answers, don't you?" I stared at him briefly and then glanced at my mother. She sighed as both of them stared at me.
"True, I need answers, dad. I really do."
"And I believed it is difficult finding them, am I right?" I nodded making him laugh.
"Answers. You want answers we cannot give you."
"Why not, daddy?"
"Because we don't have them too. We can only tell you to move on with your life, Tola."
"Dad, do you realize I am a widow for my young age? How can I move on?"
"Like I told you on the phone, for every sad news there's always a good one."
"And what is the good news, if I may ask?"
"30 million naira, a house of your own, and a share-precisely five million shares, in one of the five companies owned by the Segun family." My head seemed like it was slowly swelling at every mention my father made.
I was being offered a life free of worries and the package was a very generous one. What was going on and why? I stared at my father. He winked at me.
"As you can see my daughter, you have a very settled life, should you accept this offer. You can decide not to work again your entire life."
Any woman would be happy with such a generous offer. But, it didn't move me. I still wanted to find out what happened to my husband.
"Thank you daddy." I was weak and seemed to be losing strength at the thought of my husband's death being turned into a kind of lottery winning for me.
I sat quietly listening as my father mentioned the benefits that came with the offer and how I could invest the money into some profitable venture.
"Tola? Didn't you say you wanted to become a top-level manager? Maybe this is the way."
"I did dad. But of what use is it if I have to live all my life being haunted by Ola's death?"
I saw the expression on my mother's face. It was the kind that showed she was disappointed in me.
"Tola, what woman would refuse an offer like this? All those friends you have, would they refuse any of this? What is your problem?"
"My problem is, I don't need all of this now. I need to know what happened to my husband."
"And what do you think happened?" My mother asked me. "Tola, what do you think happened him?" She repeated.
"Mum,dad? I found the man you made me marry so quickly lying in a pool of blood in the house that we both shared. He was dead."
"Well my daughter, you don't need to feel you were responsible for what happened."
"It could have been me, dad. What if I was also shot and killed?"
"We thank God nothing happened to you." He replied
"It's why we insist you accept that offer from the Segun family, and forget about everything that happened."
My mother had to add her own contribution. This wasn't surprising. Everything seemed to have been perfectly planned. They wanted me to accept the offer and forget about whatever I wanted to do. What were they trying avoid? Why were they eager to get me to accept the offer by Ola's family?
"It's something I can't forget so easily." I replied, "I can't."Â Both parents looked at each other. And when they did so, I noticed a sort of complicity in their looks.
It looked like they were being compelled to keep their mouth shut. And so they were doing their best at trying to convince me to accept the offer. Were they being threatened to keep quiet? And if so why?
"Look, my daughter, you must be tired. You can go to your room and relax." Said my father. I sighed as I knew what that meant. It meant, I still had the time to rethink my decision. And it also gave my parents time to come up with a plan to make me accept the offer.
I looked at the time and it was close to 6pm. I needed fresh air to think of what else to do. I needed facts. I needed someone to tell me what really happened. Staying in the house wasn't going to get me the answers.
I had to go out. Somewhere out there, and by a stroke of luck, I may bump into someone who could give me the least hint of where to go or what to do. I was desperate for answers, and not even my parents were giving them to me.
"Dad, mum? I know you want me to take my time and think it over." My father nodded and looked at my mother.
"As you see, my big girl, your mother and I want the best for you.' he said nodding.
"And the best is avoiding what will make us unhappy." My mother added. Like a very organised chorus, they were talking to me, and taking turns doing so, as if singing a song of salvation for my soul.
What happened to the two most important people in my life? Why were they allowing themselves to be trodden, and in the process taking me along with them?
It was an answer I found in the one place I least expected to find it. And that one place was the very bar Ola took me too.
I got up and told them I was going out.
"I need to take some fresh air. I'll be back by dinner." My father smiled at me and got up.
"No problem, dinner will be ready when you get back."Â He led me to the door and opened it. He watched as I got into my car and drove out. I had no idea where I was going. I only knew I needed answers.