Chapter 24
" I'm not fucking Willy Wonka "
Rochelle Quinn's POV:
Fuck.
What do I do?
What do I fucking do?!
"Kenzie." I spoke quietly, trying not to startle him. His breaths were still coming out in heavy pants, and I just about noticed the tears running down his cheeks as he covered his head. "Kenzie, I need you to focus on my voice. Okay? It's Rocky. I'm not going to hurt you. Whoever did this isn't going to hurt you, I promise. I'm going to put my hand on your shoulder now, just remember you are safe."
I placed my hand on his shoulder gently, rubbing small circles on his shoulder with my thumb. I moved closer to him, ignoring the way he flinched at my close proximity.
"Hey, talk to me, Kenz. You're okay. You've got this under control. No one is going to hurt you, I'm not going to let them."
Don't get attached. Don't get attached.
This will help you get him on your side. They're going to come for you sooner or later, it's only a matter of time.
"The...The photo...The photograph. Destroy it...please Rocky. Don't." He took a few long and shaky breaths. "Don't make me see it again. Please. Please Rocky. Get rid of it. Get it away, please." The raw emotion in his voice made me feel uneasy as I took the lighter out of my pocket.
"Kenzie." I whispered quietly. He looked up at me, sniffling as he gazed into my eyes with confusion. I handed him the lighter. "Here. You're gonna do it."
He started shaking again, "I can't, Rocky. Please..Please don't make me look at it."
" You're not going to look at it, I swear. Just...Just hold the lighter out and set fire to it." I forced him to hold the lighter in his hands, ensuring he tightened his hold on it,
"Why?"
"It's not my demon to kill." The voice I heard barely sounded like my own; It was softer, quiet.
"I don't want to do it! Please, Rae, don't make me do this." He began to shake as his voice echoed the panic in his mind.
I wanted to give in to his pleas, to just ignore every other instinct in my body.
But I couldn't.
I knew deep down that if he hid away from his monsters, they would only feed on his fear. Coming back again and again until he began to crumble.
I knew what it was like to crumble.
And I refused to allow another human being go through that.
"Kenzie." I whispered, edging closer to him. "I know this is hard. I understand how hard is it. But if I could kill my monster than you can kill yours."
I obviously knew the photo wasn't something that physically hurt him.
But it wasn't difficult to realize that it reminded him of something that he didn't want to remember.
He didn't reply, but his eyes watered considerably as he body shook with suddenly silent sobs.
"Rae...I can't."
"Yes you can." I placed the lighter back in his hand, closing his fist around it. "You've got this, Kenzie."
I don't know whether it was the kindness in my voice or the phrase that he had become familiar with that made him do it, but a slight moment later he took the picture and set fire to it.
He watched with emotionless eyes as the photograph went up in flames, the strong scent of smoke soon suffocating the air around us.
He watched with emotionless eyes as the happy child in the picture went up in flames.
***
"You wanna talk about it?"
Kenzie was currently sat in my room silently, having recovered from his panic attack. Kade was still out with Sky and the twins went out with Keegan.
"Not really." He ran a hand through his messy hair but didn't move his eyes upwards to meet mine.
"I respect your decision." I shrugged as he looked up to me with disbelief in his eyes.
"Really?"
"Of course not." I scoffed, shaking my head. "Now what the fuck happened?"
"I had a panic attack." He spoke slowly as if he was talking to a child.
"No shit." I rolled my eyes, "Why did that photograph trigger it?"
"I don't know." He looked away at me but his eyes took a distant shimmer. It was obvious he was lying.
"Wanna me to kick someones butt? I'm sure I can take them." I said in a serious tone, causing him to chuckle slightly.
"No." He shook his head, tilting his lips up to form a sad, small smile. "But tell me more about your childhood, about what happened with the brothers. I'm guessing getting a tattoo wasn't the only interesting thing you've done."
My breathing hitched at that moment.
Childhood.
Does it even class as a childhood? How the heck do you even answer a question like that?
He looked so curious in that moment that I couldn't find the energy to break it by spiralling into the myriad of broken and depressing memories.
"I was taken into care when I was 6 years old, with my 2 year old brother. I met the brothers when I was 11; The foster family we were with didn't want me anymore so they sent me back into the system. I met Alec, Ivi and Sky while I was in the group home. I was 11, I think. I don't know what else to say. I learnt a lot of things. You can't outrun your past, Kenz, no matter how hard you try." I shrugged, running my fingers along the scar on my arm.
"Somehow I don't believe thats the whole story." He stated nonchalantly, eyes following the movement of my fingers.
"It isn't." I replied simply, moving my hand to grip my forearm. "Story for story. Every time I learn more about you, I'll tell you more about me. "
He didn't reply then. Instead, he looked over to a picture lay idly on my bedside table.
It showed a younger version of myself, Alec, Ivan, Skylar and Jesse. Unsurprisingly, Jesse had a gun in his hand and Alec was flashing a knife. Sky was on Ivi's back and I seemed too busy trying to take Jesse's gun to focus on the photograph being taken.
"I didn't know you had a younger brother."
I paused before answering, now it was me refusing to meet his gaze. "I haven't seen him in 6 years."
"Oh."
"You're not as bad as I thought you were, Rocky, so thank you."
Remember who you are Rocky.
Don't fucking get attached.
I chuckled at his words, biting my lip to stop myself from smiling. "You have no idea, Kenzie."
He glanced at me, confusion dancing like reckless little angels in his eyes, "What do you mean?"
"I'm the fucking devil in disguise."
I could see the disbelief in his eyes at the way I was talking about myself, but I was never one for sugarcoating. I'm not fucking Willy Wonka.
"I don't believe that."
"You don't have to." I raised an eyebrow at his dismissing actions, "I'm not a good person Kenzie. I've done some pretty fucked up things. You would do best to stay away from me; I'll just end up dragging you into hell with me."
"I know what you're trying to do, Rocky." He continued, making his voice even quieter. "You're trying to push me away, or scare me away. Maybe you're scared of being hurt, or getting close to people. I don't know. But either way, it won't work, Rae."
"You're searching for Angels in a heart that's consumed with Monsters, Kenzie." I ensured that my voice sounded neutral, just so he couldn't notice how heavily his words had hit me.
"Everyone knows the Devil was once an Angel, Rae, and I believe wholeheartedly that she can be repaired."
*****
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