Chapter 49
" Survivor "
Rochelle Quinn's POV:
-Warning: Abuse is mentioned and heavily implied-
I groaned as a wave of sunlight hit me. My stomach throbbed with pain I couldn't comprehend and my entire body ached all around it.
Son of a bitch.
"Finally awake, huh?"
My head moved to the voice, opening to see Alec stood on the other side of the room staring at me.
"How long was I asleep?" Holy fuck my voice sounds like a dying rat.
"About 17 hours. You must've been tired." He commented, moving to sit on the chair closest to the bed.
"Eventful day." I shrugged, my hand shooting out to clutch my stomach as a burning sensation hit me.
"Which one?"
I knew instantly what he was asking: Which King hurt me?
Alec's voice had a dangerous edge, the sort which I knew would end in murder.
Alec always was the worst Diamond.
"I did." I admitted nonchalantly, continuing once a flash of confusion crossed his face. "The twins, Killian, Jay and Elliot had to take me to the car. I took Killian and Cole's knife, cutting myself with Cole's so they wouldn't get in too much shit. Royal's too ruthless with his own blood, nobody deserves that."
"So you ran?"
"Like a fucking cheetah."
Alec chuckled, but I could tell he didn't believe a damn word I said.
He noticed Kenzie stood at the door, and sent me a quick goodbye before walking out.
He didn't move to sit near me, not like Alec did. Despite me gesturing for him to take a seat.
"You did it." Kenzie didn't meet my eyes, instead he stood uncomfortably away from me.
"I did what?" My eyebrows furrowed.
"You went into the Cafeteria, even when I asked you not too."
"You wouldn't do this if you cared about me."
"They're my family." I replied softly, I couldn't understand how he didn't understand that.
"So am I." He muttered, still refusing to look at me. "You could've died, Rae, I wanted to save you."
"You don't need to save me, Kenzie."
A pained spark erupted in his dark eyes at my words. "I do."
"No you don't." I shook my head, "Nobody needs to save me. I save myself. I save my family, and I refuse to risk everything for nothing."
"So I'm nothing now?"
Shit.
"No, Kenzie. Of course you're not nothing." I closed my eyes in a bid to stop any threatening tears. "Sky's my little brother. I couldn't let him get hurt for his brothers and my mistakes."
"But I asked you not too." His voice broke. I shuffled upwards so I could get a better look of him. I winced as a bullet of pain hit my gut, concealing a blood curdling scream.
"You don't know the gang who was there." I countered quietly, "You don't know what they're capable of and how to handle them. I do. If they had Kade or Keegan, I'd do the exact same. Even if Alec asked me not too."
If they had you, I'd do the exact same.
"You put yourself in danger."
"I didn't put myself in danger Kenzie." I chuckled at the thought, trying to ignore his hurt expression. "I am the danger. Someone walks into school with a knife and a guy gets stabbed, and you think that would ever be me? No, Kenzie. I'm the guy that walks into school."
Kenzie left the room before I even noticed he was gone.
That was the first night we willingly spent alone.
After the second and third night had passed, I was hurt.
Kenzie made no effort to talk to me, in fact he barely left his room. And if he wasn't in his room, he stayed lurking in the bathroom doing god knows what to himself.
The first night sleeping alone was difficult.
I'd became so accustomed to sleeping next to someone, that my body no longer felt safe alone.
I hate dependency.
The nightmares had came back.
But they weren't just of Bulldog this time.
Flashes of my life kept repeating in my mind.
The Kings. Bulldog. Court. Juvie.
Rowan.
My mind began making up scenes that never happened, including Rowan being hurt.
As much as I hated to admit it, I missed Kenzie.
I couldn't avoid it anymore, I knew I couldn't.
Kenzie Jensen replaced the fire that Killian ignited in me all that time ago.
"What's up, Kace?" I questioned instantly, noticing him creeping into the room quietly.
"My brother won't talk to me, he's not even come out of his room. Why?"
I caught his stare, "He's been like that since I came back."
"Is that why he hasn't been staying in your room?" He cut me off before I could even speak. "We all know he stays with you Rock, don't bother lying."
I scowled, "I was gonna say yes it is. He's pissed that I ignored him when we were at school."
"You wanted to save Sky." Kace reasoned, "I would've done the same."
I nodded at him, but didn't offer any further comment.
"What did one of the guys call you? O...O Peg..Peri-"
"O perigo." I corrected, "I'm guessing you never took Brazilian Portuguese in Middle School, huh?"
"No, what does it mean?" He asked.
"O perigo- The danger." I translated, biting my lip as the boy's brows furrowed.
"The danger?" He repeated, "Why would the guy call you 'the danger'?"
I shrugged, the lie slipping off my tongue naturally. "I don't know. He's the leader, and Royal King never needed to give an explanation of why he did things the way he did."
"Bad past?" Kace guessed, noticing my distasteful tone as the man's name left my lips.
"Like you wouldn't believe."
"I don't know what to do with Kenz. He barely talks to me, I don't want him to get hurt."
I meet Kace's solemn gaze, my own refusing to back down as his eyes narrowed.
"Why would he get hurt?"
Does Kace know about what happened to him?
"Mom and Dad are coming home soon." He explained, "They don't like it when he doesn't move from his room."
"Oh." Yeah that makes sense. I realised something, "You guys don't really like your Mom and Dad, do you?"
His eyes darkened, "I always argued with them when we were kids. But Kenzie was always close with my dad, unlike the rest of us. He was always his favorite growing up, until recently when they don't seem to like each other."
I could never imagine Kenzie being close with his dad, they always seemed so distant and cold towards one another.
It was weird.
"Has Kenzie always been the way he is now?" I pushed further, thinking back to the events on Ivan's Birthday.
Kace shook his head, "He used to be so happy, never stopped smiling. But then he just stopped...The happiness just fell apart and he became this broken shell of a boy."
I looked down at my hands. "I'll sort things out. Don't worry about him, he'll be okay."
Nightmares.
Dissociation.
Agitation.
Self harm.
Panic attacks.
Fear of sex or serious romantic experiences.
Relationship issues.
Panic or anxiety at things relating to the past.
It suddenly became clear that Kenzie's life isn't perfect.
And far from it.
There's no way Kenzie is 'normal'.
He's like me- A survivor.
Kenzie had been assaulted, that much was obvious.
But by who or when it happened isn't obvious.
I've never been hurt in that way so I can't relate to how he must feel. But I know people who do. And I have been hurt too. Bulldog's abuse consisted of physical and mental torture for many years.
And luckily, I was never the victim to the sexually abusive monster inside of him.
Any man or woman who forces another person to do anything without their consent is a monster.
That shit's fucked up.
And I'll fucking kill the monster who dared to touch him.
*********
If you have ever been a victim of physical, mental or sexual abuse, support is available. Feel free to message me at any time or please talk to a family member or friend.
Help will always be available.
Rape Crisis Website and Hotlines (International)-
http://www.ibiblio.org/rcip/internl.html
Next chapter will be up on Friday
All my love, always and forever
Alaska xx