Special Chapter
âAll right!â
Fourteen-year-old Seo Hojin began listing todayâs tasks.
[January 30
Finish math homework
Preview the third-year middle school curriculum
Congratulate hyung on his birthday!!]
He pouted momentarily as he wrote the last task.
It was obvious that hyung would come home late again today, busy with tutoring and whatnot.
Staring at the memo, Seo Hojin suddenly stood up, shoved money into his pocket, put on his padded jacket, and went out the door.
However, he hadnât gone far when someone called out to him.
âHey! You there.â
It wasnât uncommon for someone to strike up a conversation with him while walking down the street.
Usually, they were girls who knew Seo Hoyun.
âArenât you Seo Hoyunâs dongsaeng?â
ââ¦Yes.â
Seo Hojin squinted at the person in front of him.
âWow~, you look exactly the same as a few years ago. Donât kids usually grow up fast? Or is it different for everyone?â
Her words hit Seo Hojinâs complex squarely.
âIâm a high school classmate of Hoyun. Do you remember me?â
âWhat do you want to say?â
ââ¦Wow, look at that attitude. You really are Seo Hoyunâs dongsaeng.â
She squatted down to meet Seo Hojinâs eyes and gave a bright smile.
âTell Hoyun to answer his phone. Why doesnât he ever pick up?â
âMaybe he doesnât want to.â
âThe apple doesnât fall far from the tree, huh.â
When Seo Hojin retorted with a sullen attitude, she awkwardly smiled but still forced 20,000 won into his hand.
âHere, itâs a bribe. Buy yourself something nice and tell that guy⦠Hoyun to give me a call.â
ââ¦â
âNo, forget it. Just tell him I miss him.â
Seo Hojin hesitated, looking at the money.
He was already short on cash, making him more conflicted.
Seeing this, the woman mischievously tapped the back of the hand holding the money.
âCome on, just take it.â
ââ¦â
âItâs cold today, be careful on your way home.â
Seo Hojin hesitated a bit before grabbing the womanâs arm as she walked toward her friends.
Then, almost throwing the money back at her, he ran toward his original destination, ignoring her shouts of âHey! Hey!!â behind him.
He suddenly remembered a similar incident from the past when his hyung had scolded him harshly for three days straight, saying, âIf you like taking money from strangers so much, why donât you go live with them?â
Moreover, now that he was a bit older, he knew better than to accept things from strangers.
âHuff, huffâ¦â
Only after turning the corner and seeing the path to the park did he slow down and catch his breath.
His hyung, Seo Hoyun, had always been a local celebrity.
Though he was known for his lack of manners, his good looks made him popular among his peers, and his academic excellence made him the subject of admiration among parents.
His popularity peaked when he got into college.
He was always surrounded by people, was somewhat indifferent to his dongsaeng, and often argued with their parents like a typical high school student.
But everything changed after the incident.
Even the young Seo Hojin realized that their current situation wasnât normal.
â¦Hmm.
He thought that if he had taken the money earlier, he might have been able to buy something better.
Pushing aside his slight regret, Seo Hojin entered the bakery he had scouted beforehand.
He was slightly shocked by the prices of the cakes displayed.
They were even more expensive than he had expected.
Still, with the money he had, he could buy a small strawberry shortcake from the corner of the display.
Not knowing Seo Hoyunâs preferences, Seo Hojin didnât hesitate and pointed to one with his hand.
âThank you!â
After he placed his order, the bakery owner seemed to be in a good mood and gave him a slightly broken cookie as a freebie.
Carefully packing the cake box, Seo Hojin popped the cookie into his mouth in one bite.
Just then, the florist next door spotted him and called out.
âOh my, isnât that Hojin?â
She was someone close to his mother.
Why was he running into so many people today?
He just wanted to get home quickly.
âItâs been a while. Are you in the third grade now?â
ââ¦Iâm about to graduate from elementary school.â
âOh, Iâm sorry.â
Seeing Seo Hojinâs slightly tired response, the florist was surprised.n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om
The child before her was very small for his age.
âA cake? Whose birthday is it today?â
âHyungâs.â
Quickly collecting herself, she asked affectionately, but Seo Hojin only glanced away and answered with a single word.
âAh, itâs your hyungâs birthday today, huh. Haha. Then take this flower, too.â
The florist, looking a bit apologetic, picked a bright yellow flower and wrapped it quickly.
âIsnât it pretty?â
ââ¦â
âItâs the birth flower for January 30. Itâs called a marsh marigold. Do you know what its flower meaning is?â
âNoâ¦â
When Seo Hojin shook his head, she smiled softly and fixed the flower securely on the cake box, explaining its meaning.
Seo Hojin found the meaning quite appealing.
âThank you.â
âBe careful on your way.â
Thinking of his parents who always emphasized manners, he bowed politely and turned around with a slightly heavy heart.
As he was walking home briskly, he suddenly remembered he hadnât paid for the flower and hurried back to the florist.
ââItâs really sad.â
He overheard the florist chatting with an employee.
âAfter their parents died in a car accident, his hyung took care of his dongsaeng alone.â
âReally?â
Hojin winced and stopped in his tracks.
âHow sad. No matter how much effort his hyung puts in, itâs not the same as having parents.â
âIt must be tough.â
âDefinitely, that hyung must be having a hard time raising him.â
Seo Hojin lowered his gaze momentarily before walking forward again with determined steps.
ââ¦Oh my!â
The adults, startled by the sound of his footsteps, looked at him.
âWhy are you back? Do you need something?â
Seo Hojin took the crumpled money out of his pocket and placed it on the counter.
âI didnât pay.â
âOh! Right.â
The florist smiled awkwardly.
Seo Hojin felt a cold weight in his chest.
âBut you could have just taken it. It was a gift from meââ
âAnd it doesnât make much difference.â
ââ¦What?â
Seo Hojin straightened his neck, looked the florist in the eye, and spoke clearly.
âWhether my hyung raises me or my parents do.â
He turned and left immediately.
Though they called out behind him, Seo Hojin closed his ears to them.
At the parkâs trash bin, he plucked the beautifully wrapped flower from the cake box and threw it away in frustration.
âSo annoying⦠seriously.â
Feeling irritable and annoyed, he headed home, grumbling.
From a distance, he spotted Seo Hoyunâs back.
âHyungâ!â
Surprised to see him coming home early, he quickly approached.
âI told you, donât fucking call me.â
Seo Hoyun was yelling at someone over the phone.
Se Hojin instinctively hid behind a wall.
âHave some decency, will you? How could you call a kid and bring up money?â
ââ¦â
A few days ago, Seo Hojin had to face a relative who had been smiling brightly.
This person had taken care of him briefly after the accident, but honestly, he didnât want to think about that time again.
âIs hyung home?â
Grinning slyly, the relative had suddenly asked if he was eating well and if there was anything he wanted.
It felt off.
Seo Hoyun clicked his tongue and ran his hand through his hair, his voice icy.
âEnough. Show yourself around my dongsaeng again, and Iâll show you what real hell is like.â
Seo Hojin crouched down, tapping the cake box.
The call continued.
âWonât I regret this?â
Hoyun laughed, sounding incredulous.
âThe thing I regret most in my life was leaving Seo Hojin with you people for even half a year.â
Then, he hung up the phone abruptly, breathing heavily.
Frustrated, he pulled a cigarette from his pocket, placed it between his lips, and cursed.
âFucking bastards.â
It was his birthday, a day that should have been filled with good things.
Yet, he wore a troubled expression, smoking one cigarette after another.
Seo Hojin peeked out, observing him, then stood up with the cake box.
âHyung!!â
ââ¦Oh.â
Seo Hoyun was startled and took a step back.
He quickly stubbed out the half-burned cigarette on the ground and stomped on it, waving his hand to dissipate the smoke.
âWhat are you doing here? When did you get here?â
âJust now.â
Seeing Seo Hojin tilt his head innocently with wide eyes, Seo Hoyun looked relieved and scratched the back of his neck with one hand.
âSeo Hojin, did you finish your homework before wandering around?â
ââ¦No.â
âHow bold of you.â
Seo Hoyun grabbed Seo Hojinâs cheek and gave it a playful tug.
With the musty smell of cigarettes and a painful sting, Seo Hojin quickly brushed the hand away and gently rubbed his cheek, making Seo Hoyun chuckle.
âWhatâs with the cake?â
âItâs your birthday, hyung.â
âOh.â
He had clearly forgotten.
But he always remembered to celebrate Seo Hojinâs birthday.
âWow, whereâd you get the money?â
Seo Hojin nearly explained that heâd saved up half of his allowance but decided against it.
He had refrained from eating tteokbokki and Pikachu tonkatsu with his friends to save money.
He couldnât ask his hyung, who managed living expenses with money earned from part-time jobs without touching their parentsâ insurance money, for more allowance.
The process of buying the cake was embarrassing enough, and he didnât want to talk about it.
So, he pushed his hyungâs back, urging him to go inside.
âBy the way, hyung, do you like whipped cream cake?â
As they got off the elevator and reached the door, Seo Hojin asked while Seo Hoyun was unlocking the door.
Without even turning his gaze, Seo Hoyun replied.
âNot really.â
ââ¦â
Seo Hojinâs eyebrows drooped at his hyungâs blunt response.
If he had just taken the money earlier, he could have bought a huge chocolate cake.
Watching this from above, Seo Hoyun let out a small laugh as he opened the door.
âIâll start liking it from today.â
Seo Hojin, who had been secretly glancing at his hyungâs face, nodded vigorously.
Seo Hoyun took the cake out and placed it on the kitchen table, lighting the candles.
Seo Hojinâs heart raced at the sight.
But no matter how long he waited, Seo Hoyun didnât seem to have any intention of blowing out the candles, just staring at him silently.
ââ¦What?â
âSing me the birthday song.â
ââ¦No.â
âHurry up. The wax is going to drip.â
Mumbling and grumbling, Seo Hojin eventually started singing awkwardly with claps.
âHappy birthday to you~. Happy birthday to you~.â
ââ¦â
âBeloved⦠Anyway, to hyung~.â
âHey, you missed the âbelovedâ part.â
âHappy birthday to you~!â
Ignoring Seo Hoyunâs teasing, he completed his mission.
Seo Hoyun chuckled as he brought his face close to the cake and blew out the candles with a whoosh.
âDid you make a wish?â
âYeah, but Iâm not telling you.â
âWho asked you?â
Seo Hoyun ruffled Seo Hojinâs hair roughly and brought plates and forks, cutting a piece from the most delicious-looking part of the cake and handing it to Seo Hojin.
âThanks. Iâll enjoy it.â
In that way, Seo Hojin received his hyungâs heartfelt gratitude.
It had been a day full of all sorts of events, but that one sentence made everything feel okay.
He took a small bite of the cake with his fork, and the sweet taste filled his mouth.
After taking a few more bites, he felt that now was the right time to ask a question he had been curious about for a while.
âHyung, by the way.â
âYeah?â
âDo you have a girlfriend?â
Like that girl he saw earlierâ¦
With whipped cream smeared on one cheek, Seo Hojin blinked his big eyes and stared blankly.
âWhat?â
After a moment of silence, Seo Hoyun burst out laughing.
âSeo Hojin, youâre already interested in that stuff??â
ââ¦What are you talking about!â
Seo Hojin quickly tried to correct the misunderstanding, but Seo Hoyun kept laughing.
âIâm not!â
âHaha, oh, are you really in puberty? Youâve grown up so fast?â
âI told you, Iâm not!!â
Even though Seo Hojinâs ears turned red with embarrassment, Seo Hoyun couldnât stop laughing.
After laughing for a while, Seo Hoyun covered his eyes with one hand and chuckled.
âOkay, okay, if you like someone, make sure to tell hyung, okay?â
ââ¦â
âOh, I laughed too hard after a long time⦠my stomach hurts.â
Seeing his dongsaeng, who was now thoroughly sulking and avoiding eye contact, Seo Hoyun skewered a strawberry with his fork and held it to Seo Hojinâs lips.
Seo Hojin, despite glaring, accepted the strawberry.
âIs it good?â
ââ¦Itâs good.â
Seo Hoyun patted Seo Hojinâs head again before getting up to tidy up.
Anyway, he felt he had given his hyung a pretty decent January 30.
âHey, take out your homework.â
ââ¦â
Though it wasnât the same for himself.
.
.
.
That night, Seo Hojin went to bed early but woke up in the middle of the night.
He heard the sound of running water.
Rubbing his eyes, he stepped out of his room to look for his hyung, and then he heard it.
ââ¦Ah, fuckâ¦.â
He stopped.
Seo Hoyun was clutching his arm in the bathroom, where light spilled out.
It was where his scar was.
âShit, it hurts so badâ¦â
Watching him, Seo Hojin quickly retreated back to his room and buried himself under the covers.
Sometimes, Seo Hoyun had nightmares.
Then he would go to the bathroom, turn on the water, and endure the pain alone.
At times like this, Seo Hojinâs role was to pretend he knew nothing and go back to sleep.
He knew that was the most he could do to show his consideration.
Idiotâ¦
His hyung was always like that.
No matter what happened, he would hide it from him or act like it didnât matter.
This made Seo Hojin even more curious.
Thatâs why I asked if you had a girlfriend earlier.
He wanted to know if there was someone who would take care of Seo Hoyun, just as his hyung took care of him.
Seo Hojin wriggled under the blanket.
He tried to fall asleep, but the sound of water outside reminded him of the flower he had thrown away in the trash.
Hyung.
A round, bright yellow flower.
Honestly, it didnât suit Seo Hoyun at all.
Do you know the meaning of your birth flower?
Seo Hojin hoped that the day Seo Hoyun was born and the meaning of that flower were not just a coincidence.