These thoughts circle around me like vultures until, finally, having pulled myself back from the abyss of a total breakdown, I dot the corners of my eyes with a tissue and grab my purse. In the elevator I nearly lose it again, but by the time I reach the bottom floor, Iâve regained control.
âTessa!â Trevor calls from the other side of the lobby. âGood morning,â he says as he hands me a cup of coffee.
âThank you. Trevor, Iâm so sorry for Hardinâs behavior last nightââ I start.
âItâs okay, really. Heâs a little . . . intense . . . ?â
I almost laugh, but the thought of doing this makes me nauseous again. âUm, yeah . . . intense,â I mumble and take a sip of my coffee.
He looks at his phone then tucks it back into his pocket. âKimberly and Christian will be down in a few minutes.â He smiles. âSo . . . is Hardin still here?â
âNo. And he wonât be coming back.â I try to sound like I could care less. âDid you sleep well?â I ask in attempt to change the subject.
âYeah, but I was worried about you.â Trevorâs eyes travel to my neck, and I move my hair to cover where my mark maybe is showing.
âWorried? Why?â
âCan I ask you something? I donât want to upset you . . .â His tone is cautious, and it makes me a little nervous.
âYeah . . . go ahead.â
âHas Hardin ever . . . you know . . . he hasnât ever hurt you, right?â Trevor looks at the ground.
âWhat? We fight a lot, so, yeah, he hurts me all the time,â I answer and take another gulp of the delicious coffee.
He looks up at me sheepishly. âI mean physically,â he mutters.
I snap my head to the side to look at him. He didnât just ask me if Hardin puts his hands on me? I cringe at the thought. âNo! Of course not. He would never do that.â
I can tell by the look in Trevorâs eyes that he doesnât mean to offend me. âIâm sorry . . . he just seems so violent and angry.â
âHardin is angry, and sometimes violent, but he would never, ever hurt me like that.â I feel an odd wave of anger toward Trevor for accusing Hardin of such a thing. He doesnât know Hardin . . . but then again, neither do I, apparently.
We stand in silence for a few minutes, and I ponder that until I spot Kimberlyâs blond hair coming toward us.
âI really am sorry. I just think you should be treated much better,â Trevor says quietly right before the others join us.
âI feel like shit. Absolute shit.â Kimberly groans.
âMe, tooâmy head is killing me,â I agree as we all walk down a long corridor toward the conference center.
âYou look so good, though. I, on the other hand, look like I just crawled out of bed,â she says.
âYou do not,â Christian says and kisses her forehead.
âThank you, babe, but your opinion is quite biased.â She laughs and then rubs her temples.
Trevor smiles and says, âLooks like we wonât be going out tonight.â Everyone readily agrees.
When we arrive at the conference, I go straight to the breakfast bar and grab a bowl of granola. I eat it much faster than I should, and I canât seem to shake Hardinâs words from my mind. I wish I had at least kissed him once more . . . No, I donât. I must still be drunk.
The seminars go by quickly, and though Kimberly groans as the keynote speakerâs voice booms far too loudly through the room, come the lunchtime break my headache is almost completely gone.
Noon. Hardin would be back home by now, probably with Molly. He probably drove straight to her place just to spite me. Have they already slept together in our room? I mean, our old room? In the bed that was meant for us? When I remember the way he touched me and moaned my name last night, my body is replaced by hers. All I can see is Hardin and Molly. Molly and Hardin.
âDid you hear me?â Trevor asks and takes a seat next to me.
I smile apologetically. âSorry, I was out of it.â
âI was wondering if you want to grab dinner tonight since everyoneâs staying in.â I look into his shining blue eyes, and when I donât immediately answer him, he stutters, âI-if you donât . . . want to, thatâs okay, too.â
âActually, I would love to,â I tell him.
âReally?â he breathes. I can tell he thought I would turn him down, especially after Hardinâs behavior toward him.
For the next four hours of talks, I let it warm my heart that Trevor would still want to take me out even after being threatened by my crazy ex.
âTHANK GOODNESS THATâS OVER. I need sleep,â Kimberly groans as we get into the elevator.
âLooks like youâre just not as young as you used to be,â Christian teases, and she rolls her eyes and leans against his shoulder.
âTessa, tomorrow weâll go shopping in the morning while these two are at meetings,â she says and closes her eyes.
Which sounds great to me. As does a nice quiet dinner in Seattle with Trevorâin fact, it sounds amazing after my wild night with Hardin. Iâm a little uneasy about my behavior this weekend already, kissing a stranger, basically forcing Hardin to have sex with me, and now going to dinner with a third guy. But the last of these is the most benign, and at least I know there wonât be anything physical involved.
Not for you, sure, but for Hardin and Molly . . . my subconscious throws in.
Man, she is getting on my nerves.
At my door, Trevor stops and says, âIâll come get you at six thirty, is that okay?â