âI know.â
âIf you need anything, call me,â he offers, and I nod before climbing out of the car.
I can see my breath coming out in front of my face in hot spurts through the cold air. I canât feel the cold, though. I canât feel anything.
Landon is my only friend, but he lives at Hardinâs fatherâs house. The irony of this is not lost on me.
âITâS REALLY COMING DOWN out there,â Landon says as he rushes me inside. âWhereâs your coat?â he scolds playfully, then flinches when I step into the light. âWhat happened? What did he do?â
My eyes scan the room, hoping that Ken and Karen arenât downstairs. âThat obvious, huh?â I wipe under my eyes.
Landon pulls me into his arms, and I wipe my eyes again. I no longer have the strength, physical or emotional, to sob. Iâm beyond that, so far beyond it.
Landon gets me a glass of water and says, âGo up to your room.â
I manage to smile, but some perverse instinct leads me to Hardinâs door when I reach the top of the stairs. When I realize it, the pain that is so close to breaking back through stirs even more forcefully, so I quickly turn and go into the room across the hall. Memories of running across the hall to Hardin that night I heard him screaming in his sleep burn within me as I open the door. I sit awkwardly on the bed in âmy room,â unsure what to do next.
Landon joins me a few minutes later. Sitting next to me, heâs close enough to show concern, yet far enough to be respectful, as is his way.
âDo you want to talk about it?â he asks kindly.
I nod. Even though repeating the whole saga hurts worse than finding out about it in the first place, telling Landon feels almost liberating, and itâs a comfort to know that at least one person didnât actually know about my humiliation the entire time.
Listening to me, Landon is as still as stone, to the point that I canât read what heâs thinking. I want to know what this makes him think of his stepbrother. Of me. But when I finish, he immediately jumps up with an angry energy.
âI canât believe him! What the hell is wrong with him! Here I thought he was becoming almost . . . decent . . . and he doesâthis! This is so messed up! I canât believe he would do this to you, of all people. Why would he ruin the only thing he has?â
As soon as Landon finishes speaking, his head snaps to the side.
And then I, too, notice it: footsteps rushing up the staircase. Not just footsteps, but heavy boots slamming against the wooden steps in a frenzy.
âHeâs here,â we both say, and for a split second I actually consider hiding in the closet.
Landon looks at me with a very adult seriousness on his face. âDo you want to see him?â
I shake my head frantically, and Landon moves to close the door just as Hardinâs voice slices right through me.
âTessa!â
Just as Landon reaches out his arm, Hardin bursts through the doorway and blows past him. He stops in the middle of the room, and I stand up off the bed. Not used to this sort of thing, Landon stands there, stunned for a moment.
âTessa, thank God. Thank God youâre here.â He sighs and runs his hands over his hair.
My chest aches at the sight of him and I look away, focusing on the wall.
âTessa, baby. I need you to listen to me. Please, just . . .â
I stay silent and walk toward him. His eyes light with hope and he reaches out for me, but when I continue past him, I catch the hope extinguishing in him.
Good.
âTalk to me,â he begs.
But I shake my head and stand next to Landon. âNoâIâll never be talking to you again!â I shout.
âYou donât mean that . . .â Hardin steps closer.
âGet away from me!â I scream as he grabs my arm.
Landon steps between us and puts his arm on his stepbrotherâs shoulder. âHardin, you need to go.â
Hardinâs jaw clenches and he looks back and forth between us. âLandon, you need to get the fuck out of the way,â he warns.
But Landon stands his ground, and I know Hardin well enough to know that heâs weighing his options, whether itâs worth punching Landon right now, in front of me.
Seeming to have decided against it, he takes a deep breath. âPlease . . . give us a minute,â he says, trying to keep his calm.
Landon looks at me and my eyes plead with him. He turns back to Hardin. âShe doesnât want to talk to you.â
âDonât you fucking tell me what she wants!â Hardin screams and his fist connects with the wall, cracking and denting the drywall.
I jump back and begin to cry again. Not now, not now, I silently repeat to try to manage my emotions.
âGo, Hardin!â Landon shouts just as Ken and Karen appear at the doorway.
Oh no. I shouldnât have come here.
âWhat the hell is going on?â Ken asks.
No one says anything. Karen looks at me with sympathy, and Ken repeats his question.
Hardin glares at his father. âIâm trying to talk to Tessa, and Landon wonât mind his own damn business!â
Ken looks at Landon, then at me. âWhat did you do, Hardin?â His tone has changed from worried to . . . angry? I canât quite put my finger on it.
âNothing! Fuck!â Hardin throws his hands in the air.
âHe messed everything up, is what he did, and now Tessa has nowhere to go,â Landon states.
I want to speak; I just have no idea what to say.
âShe has somewhere to go, she can go home. Where she belongs . . . with me,â Hardin says.
âHardin has been playing Tessa this entire timeâhe did unspeakable things to her!â Landon blurts out, and Karen lets out a gasp, stepping over to me.