Iâm glad Landon didnât come to say hello when I heard him get home. I was still holding a little hope and I would have looked even more ridiculous, not that heâd ever tell me that, of course.
I reach over and turn off the light on the nightstand, then turn down the music slightly. If this were a month ago, I would jump into my car and drive to that stupid house and ask him why the hell he stood me up, but itâs now, and now I just donât have it in me to fight him. Not anymore.
IâM WOKEN UP by my phone ringing in my ears, and the noise coming through my headphones startles me.
Itâs Hardin. And itâs almost midnight. Donât answer it, Tessa.
I literally have to force myself to ignore his call and shut off my phone. I reach over and set the alarm clock on the nightstand and close my eyes.
Of course heâd be drunk, dialing me after standing me up. I should have known better.
Chapter one hundred and eight
HARDIN
Tessa isnât answering my calls, and itâs pissing me off. Itâs my damn birthday for fifteen more minutes, and she doesnât answer the phone?
Yeah, I probably should have called her sooner, but still. She hasnât even responded to my text from hours ago. I thought we had a nice time yesterday, and she even tried to get me naked. It killed me to say no, but I knew what would happen if we went there. I donât need to take advantage of her right now, even though I really fucking want to.
âI think Iâm going to go,â I tell Logan, prompting him to unwrap himself from the dark-skinned brunette heâs obviously taken a liking to.
âNah, you canât leave yet, not untilâoh, there they are!â he calls and points.
I turn around to see two girls in trench coats coming toward us. No fucking way.
The crowded living room bursts into clapping and cheering.
âI donât do strippers,â I tell him.
âOh, come on! Howâd you even know they were strippers?â He laughs.
âTheyâre in fucking trench coats and high heels!â This is so fucking stupid.
âCome on, man, Tessa wonât care!â Logan adds.
âThatâs not the point,â I growl, even though it is. Itâs not the only point, but itâs the biggest.
âIs this the birthday boy?â one of the girls says.
Her bright red lipstick is giving me a headache already. âNo, no, no. Iâm not,â I lie and bolt out the door.
âCome on, Hardin!â a few voices call.
Hell no, Iâm not turning around. Tessa will lose her shit if she thought I was around strippers. I can practically hear her screaming at me about it now. I wish sheâd answered when I called. I try to call her one more time as Nate attempts to call my other line. Iâm not going back in there, no way in hell. Iâve participated in the birthday festivities long enough.
I bet sheâs mad at me right now for not calling her earlier, but I never know when I should call and when I shouldnât. I donât want to push her, but I donât want to give her too much space either. Itâs a difficult line to walk, and I have no fucking balance.
I check my phone one more time, and see that the Hey I sent her is the last message sent or received. Looks like itâs me and that lonely-ass apartment again.
Happy fucking birthday to me.
Chapter one hundred and nine
TESSA
I wake up to a strange alarm, and it takes me a few seconds to remember I shut my phone off last night because of Hardin. Then I remember how Iâd sat at the kitchen counter, my excitement dying a little with each passing minute, only to have him never show up at all.
I wash my face and get myself ready for the long drive to Vance; the one thing I really miss about the apartment is the shorter drive. And Hardin. And the bookshelves that cover the wall. And the small but perfect kitchen. And that lamp. And Hardin.
When I walk downstairs, Karen is the only one in the kitchen. My eyes go directly to the cake with the number thirteen in candles and the stupid scribble that used to say Hardin but now has shifted as a result of sitting out all night and looks like it says Hell.
Maybe it does.
âHe wasnât able to make it,â I tell her without meeting her eyes.
âYeah . . . I deduced.â She gives me a sympathetic smile and wipes her glasses on her apron.
Sheâs the perfect housewife, sheâs always cooking or cleaning something, but more than that, sheâs so kind and she loves her husband and family, even her rude stepson, dearly.
âItâs fine.â I shrug and fill a mug with coffee.
âYou know you donât always have to be fine, honey.â
âI know. But itâs easier to be fine,â I tell her, and she nods.
âItâs not supposed to be easy,â she tells me, and I nearly laugh at the irony of her using the words that Hardin always uses against me.
âAnyway, weâre thinking of taking a trip to the beach next week. If you want to come, that would be lovely.â One of the things I love about Landonâs mother is that she never pushes me to talk about anything.
âThe beach? In February?â I ask.
âWe have a boat that we like to take out before it gets too warm. We go whale watching, and itâs really neat; you should come.â
âReally?â Iâve never been on a boat before, and the thought terrifies me, but whale watching does sound interesting. âYeah, okay.â
âGreat! Weâll have a really nice time,â she assures me, and heads into the living room.
I finally turn my phone back on when I get to Vance. I need to stop turning it off when Iâm angry. I can just ignore Hardinâs calls next time. If something happened with my mother and she couldnât get ahold of me, Iâd feel terrible.