(Jaime)
âDonât fight it, just let it happen,â Logan whisper, and I give up. I canât do this anymore. I just want to curl up under the warm covers of the bed and slip back into oblivion. Please make it stop.
But he puts me down on the floor and I donât think I have the energy to protest. I want to tell him to leave me be, but I canât even wrap my brain around forming words. Iâm too tired, too sore, too done.
And then I feel it coming over me again, a primal force overtaking me inside and out. This time, I feel a different burst from my human skin. The pain is as intense as before but fleeting. Before I could properly blink and register what happened, thereâs a surge of power zipping through my veins. My exhaustion disappears and gives way to a feeling of freedom.
Is this it? Am I dead? Am I a wolf - finally?
Iâm still on the hardwood floor. But then my senses explode to life. The world sharpens and intensifies around me.
âHey there, look at you! You did it, and youâre a beautiful wolf Jaime.â I hear Loganâs words and I lift my head to look at him. His eyes were full of wonder and pride. He runs his fingers through my fur - my fur! - and the feeling is amazing.
âIâll shift too, and then we can go outside. Are you up for that?â he says, and I nod. The tiredness is gone. There are urges in me that tells me to get out and under the moonlight and into the forest. Now!
I get up gingerly, testing these new legs, and he shifts. Iâm still getting used to the sight. Then his large black wolf nuzzles my neck, and he rubs against me before he nudges me towards the door. I follow him out, carefully navigating the stairs on my newfound four-legged method of walking.
These paws are so cool.
Outside, the forest is alive with sound, scent, and movement. I can hear the rustle of leaves, the scurry of small creatures, the distant call of an owl. Each sound is distinct, a symphony of the night.
My paws press into the soft earth. The sensation is exhilarating. I feel every twig and leaf underfoot, the cool, damp soil giving way to my weight. My muscles ripple with newfound strength, and I launch myself forward, running through the woods.
Logan catches up with me quickly and I let him lead the way. The air rushes past me, cool and invigorating. I feel the wind ruffle my fur, carrying with it a myriad of scents. I can smell the pine needles, the rich, loamy earth, the faint musk of a deer somewhere nearby. Each scent is a story, a clue to the life around me.
I weave through the trees with ease, my body moving instinctively, fluidly. There is no hesitation, no doubt. I am a creature of the forest, born to run, to hunt, to thrive. I leap over fallen logs, bound across small streams, my paws barely skimming the water. The cold splash against my fur is invigorating, a reminder of my new vitality.
Small animals dart out of my path, sensing the predator in me. I see a rabbit, its eyes wide with fear, and I feel a primal urge to give chase. But I resist. Tonight is not about the hunt. It is about freedom, discovery, and the sheer joy of being alive.
The moonlight filters through the canopy above, casting silver patterns on the forest floor. I feel a deep connection to the moon, a pull that is both physical and spiritual. It is as if the moon and I are bound by an ancient pact, a shared destiny.
Logan stops on a hilly slope just ahead and looks back at me. I push myself faster to catch up with him, exhilaration coursing through my veins. My breath comes in steady, powerful bursts, my heart pounding with the rhythm of my run. I am unstoppable, untamed. This is what it means to be a wolf.
We slow as we approach a stream, its surface glimmering in the moonlight. I follow Loganâs lead and lower my head to lap at the cool water, the taste crisp and refreshing. I catch my reflection in the water: a pair of bright, fierce blue eyes staring back at me. My fur glistens a light gold color. For the first time, I see myself for what I truly am: a creature of the night, powerful and wild.
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Standing by the stream, I take a moment to savor this new reality. The forest is my playground, the moon my guide. Every sense, every instinct is heightened, alive. I am no longer the person I once was. I am no longer tethered by my past or the limitations of being human. I am something more, something greater.
I am a werewolf.
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Itâs been a week since I had my first shift. Life seems different now, not just how and where Iâm living and what Iâm doing with my days, but how I feel about life too.
For the first time ever, I did a LOT of introspection. Maybe its because I have time on my hands, not rushing to classes or training or photo shoots all the time. Perhaps its because I have been forced to undergo massive physical, emotional and mental transformations all in the span of two weeks. Not to mention the trauma I'm still dealing with.
Whatever the cause is, I realize now that it was well overdue. I finally admitted to myself that I had been unhappy for as long as I can remember. I kept myself so busy that I never stopped to consider my life in the greater scheme of things. I was never spiritual, or emotional, or connected to anything or anyone. Not even in the dream of becoming a doctor and helping others. Things just were the way they were and thatâs it.
Now? Now I believe in things I never even considered could be real. Now I have a genuine connection to another person. Now I feel part of a greater reality in which I am but a mere speck of dust: small but not insignificant.
Logan has been my mentor in all things âwolfâ over the past week. Together, weâve shifted at least once a day during which he never left my side.
He had helped me to hunt for the first time. It was just a rabbit, but as he keeps telling me... baby steps. He told me that I had a powerful wolf, because very few could shift at will like I could. And he has taught me how to control my shifts and how to control the beast that now threatens to come forth every time I become slightly emotional.
Iâve learned about the different packs, not just the ones surrounding Claw Ridge but those spread across the continent and worldwide. Iâm getting insights into all the intricacies of werewolf politics and am amazed at just how intertwined werewolf society is with those of humans, without the humans having any idea about it.
Loganâs been amazingly supportive during every moment where I felt overwhelmed. He allowed me to rage and to grieve the trauma of my attack away. He listened when I needed to vent and gave me space when I needed some alone time. And throughout it all he didnât treat me with pity or made me feel like a victim.
During the day Logan and I spend a lot of time in his home gym. Even though this werewolf strength has made a huge difference in my energy levels and healing, I still needed to keep up with a fitness routine and learn how to balance my newfound stamina and strength in my human body.
When I saw Logan and his Beta Jonah spar during one of these fitness sessions, my mind was made up. I asked Logan to teach me to defend myself and, without skipping a beat, he agreed, saying it was absolutely essential that I learn those skills and more. Iâm still reveling in the challenge and loving this new physical activity to master.
I still have nightmares. I still get random flashbacks that terrorize my mind into a stupor and make my whole body freeze and lash out at any contact. But I was slowly overcoming the fear of other people near me, of showing my face again out there in society.
With Logan having taken unofficial leave from pack business while helping me through all my drama, Iâm shielded from the day-to-day realities of pack life just yet. The only members of the Moon Lake pack Iâve met so far, besides Logan, was doc Fairfield and his mate, Maggie the housekeeper and Jonah. This is because, as Logan explained, the investigation into my attack is still ongoing, and the fewer people knew I survived the better.
He was also intrigued with my wolf color and didnât want anyone to see me in my wolf form until he could find out if there was some significance in those glittering golden strands. He says Iâm also bigger than any she-wolf he has ever seen, which could mean that I have Alpha blood and would explain why I could shift whenever I wanted and why the two of us are fated mates.
We both know that we canât hide me in his home forever. At some point I will have to resume my life as Doctor Greywood. Or as Luna of Moon Lake. Or both.
So, we decided to introduce me to the pack at the next full moon, which is three weeks from now. Logan will introduce me as his fated mate and the packâs new Luna, accept me into the pack with an official ceremony to establish mind links and pack bonds, and to let me run with the pack.
We are hoping that there will be a breakthrough with the DNA before then. And if there isnât, then maybe âannouncingâ myself as alive and well will prompt the attackers to make a move. For that, Logan has all kinds of plans at the ready.