Chapter 175: CH 175

Looking at Rex’s face soaked in tears, I realized how selfish I was.

I silently embraced Rex, who was crying uncontrollably. Then I gently patted his trembling shoulders. He had gone through a long day just like me.

‘You know, if I ever disappear… ‘

I almost place an even greater burden on him.

If I were to disappear, Rex might have suffered from a tremendous sense of guilt, thinking it was his fault. Wouldn’t that make him end up as villain? Is this gentle and kind child going to walk that path because of me?

‘Then what do I do?’

Never tell anyone, never dig up any more information about Sofia. X warned me through the death of Baron Bruno.

Next could be Rex, or it could be someone else.

Moreover, Logan knows and researches the underworld more than anyone else, and he is even Baron Bruno’s closest confidant.

I’d rather Rex had lost all his memories. Even though it would be sad, it would give me peace of mind.

Forgetting is said to be a gift from God.

In the past, those words would have approached me vaguely, but now I wanted to go to the person who first said this sentence and ask why they had such thoughts.

If forgetting was indeed a gift from the gods, then why did they retain memories of my past life?

And is it really a gift that Grand Duke Estin doesn’t remember me?

If only Grand Duke Estin could regain his memories, look at me so fondly again, and hold me in his strong, protective arms, I would be so happy……but…….

What if Grand Duke Estin really woke up like that instead of forgetting his memory me?

“Are you okay?”

As my tears fell without saying anything, Rex grabbed my cheek and asked, making eye contact.

My heart ached at the assumptions I made. I couldn’t tell him I was okay, even though he asked so desperately.

“I’ll go to the r, room.”

“Which room, ah, sister’s room?”

Rex, who had been wiping away my tears, grabbed my hand in a fumbling motion as if to lead me to my room.

We arrived in the room, with Rex escorting me in a different way than usual.

When I got to my room, I immediately collapsed on my bed, hugging Nero. Rex sat on my bed and patted me on the back.

“Do you want me to call Bonita or Carol?”

“I want to be alone for a little while…….”

“You won’t think of anything strange if you’re alone, won’t you?”

Rex responded with a gloomy expression to my tantrum. I turned to face Rex who was sitting next to me.

What’s the strange thought Rex was talking about. I shook my head as I looked at his face.

I didn’t have the energy to get up, wash, and change now. I wasn’t going to sleep for long anyway. I just wanted to close my eyes for a moment to escape from this situation.

Rex, who was trying to persuade me, bit his lip and hesitated, but eventually nodded his head, withdrawing his hand that had been patting my back.

“Then rest a little longer.”

“Yeah, I will.”

“You shouldn’t think too much alone. Think about it with me.”

When I chuckled at Rex’s urging, he sternly warned me that I must never think about anything and pushed his little finger at me.

Only after I gave him my pinky finger did he leave my room. However, the lingering worry was still evident on his face.

Left alone in the darkened room, I slowly closed and opened my eyes repeatedly. Whether it was due to Rex’s earnest plea or not, my mind was blank and devoid of any thoughts.

I lay like that for a while, blinking my eyes, until eventually my eyelids grew heavy.

I heard someone enter my room and say, “Oh, my lady,” but I gradually drifted off into a trance.

***

Where am I?

I woke up from sleep and, in a dazed state, got up from the bed and rubbed my eyes.

Oh, right? I fell asleep after sending Rex away, didn’t I? Seeing that I was wearing white pajamas, the person who came into the room earlier seemed to have changed my clothes.

Who is it? The voice sounded like Bonita.

Rex’s earnest plea seemed to have worked like a sort of spell.

Judging by how refreshed and invigorated I felt, it seemed like Bonita had not only changed my clothes but also washed me. Seeing that I hadn’t woken up while she did all that, I must have truly slept deeply.

“It seems like I slept well.”

Since I didn’t feel sleepy anymore just lying around in the room, I decided to go outside and put on the indoor slippers next to the bed.

Considering how dark it was outside, it seemed like I had slept longer than I thought. I cautiously opened the door and stepped out.

“Since it’s so dark…… everyone must be sleeping, right?”

That means Grand Duke Estin must be asleep too. Suddenly, the tender gaze of Duke Estin, as he looked at Tia Blua, came to mind, and once again, my left chest ached but the sight of his sleeping face might calm the waves of confusion I was feeling.

I walked towards the darkened hallway, making as little noise as possible.

‘Are you sleeping?’

I arrived at Grand Duke Estin’s bedroom with a strange sense of excitement. The door was slightly ajar. A tiny bit of light leaked onto the dark hallway floor. I walked as gingerly as I could and approached Grand Duke Estin’s door. It was a huge door, but it seemed even bigger today.

I put my ear to the door, just in case there was someone other than Grand Duke Estin inside, but I couldn’t hear any sound coming from the room.

‘Are you sleeping with the lights on?’

I peeked through the crack in the door, hoping that he might be catching up on some work that had been left undone while he was awake, or perhaps reading a book.

But Grand Duke Estin was not awake. He was lying on his bed, and I could see his round figure on the bed.

‘Is he sleeping with the lights on?’

I don’t know what gave me the courage, but I cautiously opened the door and stepped into the room where Grand Duke Estin was sleeping.

If he sees me standing next to him with sleepy eyes, he’ll smile affectionately and ask if I had a scary dream. Then I might be able to nuzzle into his side, as I had done as a child when I had a frightful dream. My heart swelled with such anticipation.

I approached, deliberately not muffling my footsteps, hoping to wake Grand Duke Estin. Unfortunately or fortunately, he didn’t wake up until I reached the bed.

I wondered if I should turn off the lights in the room to make it easier for him to sleep. However, driven by the desire to see his face, I leaned closer to the bed.

Grand Duke Estin was sleeping with his right arm stretched out to one side. As I stared at his well-defined features, I wished I could see his eyes looking at me.

No, actually, just looking at him like this was enough.

“Dad….”

Without realizing it, I called Grand Duke Estin so desperately that I covered my mouth in surprise. I looked at his countenance, but he just made a noise and moved further to the right.

I had been talking to Grand Duke Estin every night but received no response, but just calling his name now elicited a reaction. It overwhelmed me in the midst of my surprise.

Grand Duke Estin was holding something beside him, as if he were hugging Nero in his sleep.

Then I noticed black hair next to Grand Duke Estin.

What is it?

‘Is that Theodore?’

Although Theodore isn’t at the age to be getting into father’s bed, he always acts older than he actually is, so maybe he is secretly childish… Ah, but it can’t be Theodore.

I know it’s not Theodore, and that makes me even more anxious. With trembling hands, I gently lifted Grand Duke Estin’s quilt.

After checking the face of the person in his arms, I tried to swallow the sound that was about to burst out and left the room with my legs trembling.