Chapter 3: Chapter 3

hiding in his room since Remo had brought Serafina home. His initiation was in three days and I wanted to make sure his current mental state didn’t lead to a decision he’d come to regret. I knocked on his door and didn’t get a reply. I knew Adamo was inside and could only assume he had his headphones on like so often. I pushed the door open and found him lying on his bed, listening to music and glaring at the ceiling. When he spotted me, he frowned and sat up, pulling his headphones off. “Ever heard of privacy?”

I took in the mess on the floor, crumpled clothes, dirty dishes, half-empty Coke bottles with cigarette stubs inside of them. “No smoking in the house. You know the rules.”

Adamo rolled his eyes and gave me the finger. I advanced on him and grabbed his arm, jerking him to his feet. “Remo and I give you a lot of leeway, Adamo. But don’t forget who puts food on the table, who pays for all this, who makes sure you are safe. Show some respect or I’ll have to teach it to you.” Remo and I didn’t like to punish Savio or Adamo with violence, but Adamo was testing both our patience.

Adamo jutted out his chin. “Are you going to try out a few new torture methods on me?”

“I don’t need to test out new methods. I’ve been using the same for many years and they are very effective.”

Adamo had never been subjected to our father’s torture, only Savio, Remo and I. It was a good thing, but it also made him weaker and an easier target. However, neither Remo nor I would raise his pain tolerance by torturing him.

Adamo grimaced. “Do you use them on the girl?”

“No.”

“Will you?”

“No.”

As I’d said to Remo, Serafina was an innocent woman and didn’t deserve the choice he’d given her, or being the victim of my very particular talents.

“Can you say more than no?” he grumbled, trying to free himself from my grip. I didn’t release him, tightening my hold.

“I can, and I would, if your questions required more than a simple ‘no’ answer.”

“I feel bad for her. She’s just a girl. Why does Remo want to hurt her?” The insolence was gone from his voice and he sounded like the little boy I’d read Harry Potter to.

I dropped my hand and he rubbed the spot, avoiding my eyes. I said, “I’m not sure if he wants to hurt her.” I didn’t think even Remo knew what exactly he wanted with the girl.

Adamo snorted. “Yeah, right. When did Remo ever not want to hurt someone?”

“He doesn’t want to hurt you, Adamo. You know that.”

“Yeah…”

“Your initiation is an important day. This is about more than loyalty to the cause, to the Camorra. This is about loyalty to our family, to Remo.”

“Will you turn this into a guilt trip so I take the oath?”

“Guilt is an irrelevant notion to me, you know that.”

Adamo let out a choked laugh. “Yeah, I got that. For you and Remo both, and for Savio whenever it suits him best.”

“Do you feel guilty for killing the Outfit soldier?”

Adamo sank back down on the bed and fiddled with his headphones, giving a small shrug. “Kinda.”

“Kinda? What does that mean?”

“I know you’re all keeping something about our mother from me. I want to know what it is. If I’m old enough to become a Made Man, I’m old enough for that, right?”

“Now isn’t the right time. Don’t concern yourself with the past.”

Adamo reached for a packet of cigarettes on his nightstand. He seemed to catch himself, darting his eyes to me and withdrawing his hand. I grabbed the packet and stuffed it in my back pocket.

“Hey!”

I raised one eyebrow, daring him to say more. He’d buy more cigarettes. Still, he needed as much discouragement as possible to stop this unhealthy habit. “Answer my question.”

“I feel guilty for not feeling guilty.”

That was completely unreasonable.

Adamo groaned. “Because I should feel guilty, but why do I bother explaining that to you?” He tilted his head, making a few of his curls fall into his eyes. “How do you make sure not to hurt Kiara? I don’t get it.”

“By monitoring her reactions and adapting my behavior accordingly.”

He shook his head. “Even your marriage is pure logic.”

It wasn’t, not anymore, but neither Adamo nor Savio knew of the recent changes I’d experienced. I didn’t want to explain them to my younger brothers until I was sure of their extent and understood them better.

“Maybe it would do you good to control your emotions on occasion? Logic might help you navigate your current emotional instability.”

Adamo’s face scrunched up. He threw himself back on his bed and put his headphones back on. Stifling my frustration with his irrational behavior, I turned and left him to his sulking.

KIARA “Are you worried Adamo will refuse the tattoo today?” I asked as I lay in Nino’s arms after sunrise, tracing his tattoos and the hard ridges of his abs.

“Not exactly worried, no. I think he’ll see reason.”

I shook my head, and Nino pulled back to regard me with a frown. “Did he tell you anything?” There was definitely a hint of concern in his voice.

“No,” I said. “But I don’t think Adamo will do it because he sees it as the reasonable choice. He isn’t like that. Adamo is driven by emotions. He’ll take the tattoo because he loves you, Remo and Savio, because he’s loyal to you.”

Nino nodded and gradually his expression softened before he bent down to press a kiss to my mouth. I smiled against his lips and touched his cheeks, enjoying the feel of his beard against my palms. We stared into each other’s eyes and I could hardly resist telling Nino I loved him again. He was trying to come to terms with his emotions and I didn’t want to pressure him. It still seemed a miracle that he’d said it at all, and with Nino his actions always spoke louder than his words. “Will I be alone in the mansion today? I’m sure you all want to be there for Adamo, Fabiano included.”

“No,” Nino said firmly. “Fabiano will have to guard you and make sure Serafina doesn’t cause trouble.”

“I feel bad for him. Couldn’t you have asked one of your soldiers to guard the mansion?”

“If it was only Serafina, yes, but I won’t have anyone I don’t trust fully be alone with you, especially because you could feel threatened by a male guard you aren’t familiar with.” Nino kissed me again, his expression hard. “I won’t ever risk your wellbeing, Kiara. I can’t lose you.”

I swallowed, my resolve running like sand through my fingers. “Do we have time to make love?”

Nino answered by moving over me and settling between my legs.

before the Falcone brothers were about to leave. I’d hoped he’d bring Leona with him, but he was alone. Trying to stifle my nerves about being in his presence for the first time, I wrapped my arms around Nino. “Text me as soon as you can and tell me how it went.”

Nino kissed my ear. “Fabiano is like a brother.”

He pulled back and with a curt nod toward Fabiano moved outside where his brothers were waiting. The door shut, leaving Fabiano and me alone in the gaming room.

“Nino said you enjoy playing the piano. Would it help you relax?”

My cheeks heated. “Is my fear that obvious?”

Fabiano’s blue eyes softened. “I didn’t think you were scared, merely nervous. You know I’m here to protect you. You have absolutely no reason to be scared or nervous.”

“I know. My brain knows, but it’s like my body’s still programmed a different way. I’m trying to work on it. Maybe today is a good chance to tackle my fear?”

Fabiano gave me a small smile and pushed his hands into his pockets. “So would you like to play the piano?”

“I’d love to. But won’t it be too boring for you? I doubt classic is what you’re usually listening to.”

“True, but I don’t mind.”

I started toward Nino’s and my wing, then halted when Fabiano walked behind me. “Can you walk beside me? I know you’re trying to keep a distance from me, but I’d prefer you beside me.”

“So you can have an eye on me?”

Fabiano didn’t look angry, only curious, as he stepped up to my side, and we moved on.

“Sorry.” I hated myself for my body’s reactions. It was difficult to overcome a habit.

“You don’t have to apologize. Nino warned me.”

“Oh God, what did he tell you?”

“He reminded me to mind your personal space. I think he might have threatened me too.”

My eyes widened in horror. “I doubt Nino would threaten you.”

“Oh, he would, definitely if you are concerned. You bring out the protective side in him, and not only in him.”

In our living room, I sank down at the piano. “Don’t tell me you mean Remo.”

Fabiano plopped down on the sofa and stretched out his legs in front of him. “Remo and Savio both. It’s the way they watch you and act around you.”

I put my fingers on the piano keys, thinking about Fabiano’s words. Savio and Remo were careful not to touch me. They seemed to have gotten used to my presence during dinner. My fingers started to dance over the keys with a mind of their own as I stayed lost in my thoughts. Soon the tension slipped away as the notes of the melody swirled around me. It was a new song I’d been working on for a few days, one that was supposed to encompass my feelings toward my new family. Like my song for Nino, it was dark, moody and erratic in the beginning, conveying my initial fear and insecurity, but grew gradually calmer. I hadn’t told them yet that I had every intention of creating a song for every Falcone brother, and once I knew him better, even Fabiano.

The sound of a ringtone tore me out of my trance and my fingers lost track. I glanced toward Fabiano who stared down at his phone with a gentle smile. When he looked up, a more restrained expression took over.

“Leona?” I asked.

He frowned. “How did you know?”

“The look on your face.”

Caution filled Fabiano’s eyes and he stuffed the phone back into his pocket. “She’s at college. She’s taking preparatory courses.”

“Did she choose to get her Bachelor in Criminal Justice?”

“Yes. She thinks it’s the most useful for her later law studies.”

“Ironic, isn’t it? That she’s taking criminal justice classes while being involved with the Camorra.”

“She’ll be very useful for the Camorra once she’s graduated law school.”

“That’s still how long, seven years?”

Fabiano nodded.

“Won’t you be married by then and have kids?” The moment the words were out I wanted to take them back. Fabiano and I didn’t know each other that well. It was a question I should have asked Leona, not him.

A few seconds passed before he replied and his face was almost as locked down as Nino’s could be in the beginning. “We haven’t discussed our future in detail yet.”

Feeling bad, I decided to make it up to Fabiano. “Are you hungry? I could bake us muffins. They won’t take long.”

Forty minutes later I pulled a tray of triple chocolate muffins with a cheesecake filling from the oven.

“They smell amazing,” Fabiano said.

“They’re still pretty hot. We can risk a bite anyway.” I took out three plates.

Fabiano motioned at one of them. “I can’t let you go up to Serafina. Nino made that quite clear.”

Sighing, I put a muffin on each plate, then put one of them to the side so Remo could take it up to Serafina later. Two plates in hand I headed over to the table and sat across from Fabiano. “I hope you like it.”

Fabiano dug in immediately. “Perfect.”

“It’s strange that we’re sitting at this table, eating muffins, when we were raised to hate the Camorra. But we both found a family here.”

Fabiano regarded me. “To be honest, I felt pity for you in the beginning. Even before I knew what happened to you, I thought living under a roof with the Falcones would be the end for a girl like you.”

“Did you think they’d abuse me?”

“No, I thought they wouldn’t know what to do with you. Dealing with someone with your past takes patience I didn’t think Remo or Savio possessed. Nino yes, but he doesn’t feel emotions, so that’s a big problem.”

“They’ve all been trying in their own way, and I feel like it’s getting better every day.”

“They see you as family now, so you’ve won.”

I bit my lower lip, wondering if it was true. Nino, of course, but the rest of them? I wanted nothing more than to be part of their family.

We were still in the kitchen when Remo, Adamo and Nino returned. Nino immediately scanned me from head to toe, which led to Fabiano rolling his eyes and saying. “She’s in one piece.”

Nino came over, bent low and kissed my ear. “Are you all right?”

I nodded. “I made muffins. They’re still warm.”

I looked to Adamo who appeared a bit pale. “You should eat one. The chocolate will make you feel better, trust me, and I didn’t make them very sweet.”

I stood, headed over to the tray and scooped four muffins onto the plates, then handed them to each man. Remo cocked his eyebrow.

“You know I hate sweet things.”

“Maybe you haven’t had the right kind of sweet yet?”

Not waiting for his reply, I moved on to Adamo and gave him the plate. His forearm was wrapped with a bandage. “How did it go?” I asked softly.

“Okay,” he said with a hint of relief. Maybe he’d come to terms with everything now that he was initiated.

I handed the last two plates to Nino and Fabiano. “Where’s Savio?”

“With two whores,” Nino said, and I nodded. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Remo and Nino both only ate half of their treats, and I finished Nino’s then stopped Remo from throwing away his. I took the half-eaten muffin and took a huge bite.

“You realize I bit into that before.”

“And now I’m biting into it. That’s what muffins are for.”

Remo shook his head. For once his face didn’t hold the scary harshness it usually did.

“And you say you don’t like sweet things, Remo,” Fabiano said in a teasing voice.

Remo and he exchanged a look I didn’t understand.

“You’re full of shit, Fabiano.”