Meanwhile, Riddhi having woken up from her nap walks towards the living room. She's in a dazed state, the sleepy haziness not having left yet. She walks towards the living room, rubbing her eyes her mood souring with every step she took. There was no way that she would be able to fall asleep tonight. She'd been out for almost five hours now and her sleep quota was replenished and filled to the brim.
There was no way, no fucking way, that she would fall asleep before three in the morning now.
That's why she hated afternoon naps but that didn't seem to stop her from falling asleep. Either way, she reasoned (rather grumpily) inside her head, I'll read the Order of The Phoenix until I fall asleep after dinner.
Riddhi hated being the last one in the house to fall asleep. Something about the darkness made her feel very childish and insecure. It wasn't that she was afraid of bloodied ghosts popping out from her closets or hearing the clink-clink of the payals (anklets) of night prowling, white sari-wearing female ghosts. She was afraid of the thoughts that swirled and danced inside her head that taunted and teased her. She was afraid of her hopes and dreams that dangled in front of her. She feared that they would disappear and that she wouldn't be strong enough to fight for them.
"You look like you want to puke. Are you okay?" A snarky voice pops out from the sofa. And lying on the sofa, with a blanket covering his entire length is Vaibhav, her cousin.
"You scared me! What are you doing here? You didn't tell me you were going to be staying here?" Riddhi says, holding a hand up to her frightened heart which is still pumping at an alarming rate.
"You returned so quick. I couldn't even let you know. But no worries, I called maasi." Vaibhav says, from the sofa, grinning.
"Well, you guys lost right? Besides, doesn't your school have policies about taking students back with them? Are they allowed to just leave you around like that?" Riddhi says, raising her eyebrows.
Knowing Vaibhav's wayward ways, she's certain he's heading for trouble.
"Whoa, calm down. You really do take after your mom, don't you? Going all lawyer on me. No, technically I didn't come here as a player." Vaibhav grins, getting up.
"What do you mean?" Riddhi asks, suspiciously.
"Well, I may or may not have made a jersey by bribing the school tailor. And I may or may not have come here on the local bus pretending to be a player." Vaibhav smiles at her, clearly very proud of his little escapade.
"But didn't they catch you? What about your teachers? They're not entirely that stupid, are they?" Riddhi says, sitting down on the other couch, looking at her cousin very seriously.
"No, I sat at the benches while the rest of them were in the men's room. And then when they were arriving towards the court, I went to speak to Shweta. Which was my main motive, regarding which you weren't very helpful, by the way. Then when I returned to the court, I sat with the boys who came as substitutes and cheered a while for them. Slipped out when the boys were returning." Vaibhav says, his rubbing his hands, clearly very delighted with his escapade.
"But didn't the other boys notice? What if they complain? And doofus, what about the certificates that the players receive. What will you tell your parents then?" Riddhi asks, getting more amazed with her cousin's abilities by the passing second.
"No, most of them are my friends. And luckily enough we lost! So, my mothers not going to look for certificates! If it's a mere certificate of participation she won't care enough to look for it!"
"Wow! I really hope you don't get into trouble. Besides, what did you tell Shweta? That you came all the way for her?" Riddhi asks.
"No! I told her I came as a substitute player!" Vaibhav says, looking sheepish.
"Why didn't you though? She would've been flattered." Riddhi asks, laughing.
"Really? I thought it would come across as stalkerish. Didn't want to scare off the girl I love." Vaibhav says.
"The girl you what?!" Riddhi screeches.
"Uh." Vaibhav manages.
"You love her!? Whoa mister, don't you think you're going a little too fast?" Riddhi asks, still looking very alarmed.
"It's none of your business." Vaibhav snaps back.
"Of course," Riddhi says, her voice toning itself to a dreadful calm one. "You both meet at my house. She's my best friend. You're my cousin. When you both need me its let's go to Riddhi's house or let's call Riddhi. But when I ask you a simple fucking question, it's none of my business. Why don't you go and stay at her house so you can both mind your business together?"
Vaibhav's eyes widen but he manages to get a word out before Riddhi walks off in a huff.
"Okay, okay dude calm down. I'm sorry, Riddhi. I really am."
Riddhi stops and looks at him before sighing, "Well okay whatever."
She then grabs her book from the showcase near her and starts flipping the pages.
Vaibhav sits in uncomfortable silence while she begins reading.
"Riddhi, I said I was sorry!"
Riddhi glares from her novel, "And I said it was okay."
"Well, it doesn't look like it's okay to me." He says meekly.
Riddhi snaps the book shut. "I merely asked that because I was concerned about the two of you. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be giving seven fucks whether you get into trouble with your school or not!"
"I get it, Riddhi."
"No, you fucking don't." Riddhi snarls at him.
"You realize that it's your problem with Shweta, don't you? And not with me. And if you have one with me, well, spit it out and don't go around bugging her with it." Vaibhav says.
"Don't tell me what to do," Riddhi says, glaring at him.
"Well, it's not entirely her fault, you know. You've been acting like such a headcase about it!" Vaibhav argues.
"Excuse me? Did she say that? Did she fucking call me a headcase?" Riddhi says, standing up, the book dropping from her lap; her face contorting in rage.
"She didn't! She didn't!" Vaibhav exclaims, getting up from his comfortable seat on the couch.
"So, you kindly assigned me the term? How am I a headcase?" Riddhi says, folding her arms waiting for an explanation.
"Well," Vaibhav says, knowing full good hed walked into death's open mouth. "Maybe you could've not gotten so pissed off about her keeping a secret."
"If you don't have a good explanation, don't bother giving one!" Riddhi says, pursing her lips and Vaibhav throws his hands up in defeat.
"Look I don't want to be the guy who gets into his girlfriend's friendship, but since you're my cousin, I'm saying this. Just cut her some slack, she's going through more than you know."
Riddhi opens her mouth to protest but Vaibhav rushes with his explanation. "I know she's been unfair. And she knows it too. Riddhi, believe me, she's feeling worse about this than you are. She just needs some time to get things straightened out. You know her, she's not spiteful. But lately, with the whole period thingy, her nerves are jittery and she's frazzled."
Riddhi is quiet for a while but then she sighs. "Fine. I'll give it some time while you guys sort out her period thingy."
Vaibhav gives her an appreciative nod and then Riddhi smirks, "So, girlfriend huh? You've made it all official and exclusive, already?"
"Kind of," Vaibhav says giving an embarrassed smile.
"I'm happy for you both. Even when you're complete morons." Riddhi says with a grudging smile.
"Means a lot, Riddhi."
The car sounds in the driveway way and Riddhis parents have arrived.
"Hey, how exactly are you going to explain to my mother that school has no problem with you staying here?" Riddhi asks.
"Shit. I missed the school bus?"
******************
Riddhi wasn't one to dwell on things for a long time. She was a practical girl by nature who measured and weighed things and went through life with analysis bundled up in a paper. But this was a problem that had been bugging her and she had no clue how to handle it. For the longest time, she had been a girl to whom life was in a way an exciting graph with high points and low curves. But all the nonsensical drama with Shweta had her feel very troubled.
Was it even rational how she had just yelled at Vaibhav? For goodness' sake, he'd taken it as a sport. He must have thought that she was losing her mind. But it wasn't Shweta's relationship that bothered her so much. Riddhi had always been a bit of a pushover, nerdy and the quieter half to Shweta's louder one. And for the longest time, their friendship had worked out smoothly with them balancing out each other. But now, Riddhi cannot help but wonder if the reason that Shweta kept so much away from her was that she wasn't exciting enough.
It sounded lame to her, even inside her own head. It sounded childish, even. It was so utterly immature that she should worry about such things when she was practically an adult. But wasn't that what Shweta had said? About maybe not telling her about Vaibhav because she didn't want to?
Deep within, Riddhi knows that this had been something that had been simmering within her for quite some time. Unlike the confident and bubbly Shweta, Riddhi had always had a problem with her self-image. While she managed to hide it behind her little charms and her graceful nature, it lurked within the surface. And even before the outburst, she had with Shweta, these insecurities had always popped up once in a while but she'd always managed to keep them at bay.
What Shweta had said had irked her and made her think the thoughts that she normally was good at keeping away. Riddhi, though sweet-natured and gentle wasn't a girl without her faults. And though, she tried hard not to let them overpower her, now and then she fell helpless and crying. She didn't realize that it was these very insecurities that made her humane and real; she loathed them and was a bit too hard on herself. And with the knowledge that Shweta thought of her as weak, it was almost too hard to silence the hammering thoughts inside her head.
Among her faults, the hardest she fought with was Envy. One of the seven deadly sins, it strove to make her life difficult. And tender natured Riddhi found it hard not to fall into its clutches. So, when she saw the glint in Shweta's eyes and the sparkle in Vaibhav's, stirred up some drama in her heart. But as she sat in her room, her eyes wide and sleepless, she cannot help but feel cheated. She feels cheated by destiny who considered Shweta worthier of this new romance than she. Why wasn't it that she, Riddhi, had fallen in love with some boy from school? Why did it have to be Shweta?
In her heart, deep down within, Riddhi knows she's acting ridiculous. She knows that this pettiness will fade and that she'll become the same sweetheart in daylight. But in the darkness of the night, she's one with her loneliness and the ache that threatens to overpower her. She's jealous that Shweta's moved on with her life, that she's entering a new, exciting phase all without Riddhi. It was perhaps one of the hardest lessons of friendship. Riddhi would have to learn that giving Shweta space would be healthy for the both of them. They were both growing older and their tight-knit friendship was slowly becoming less childish.
It was absurd for that had been Shweta's own problem with Riddhi. Her belief that she would never be quite as good as Riddhi and would forever remain overshadowed by her. The notion of grass being greener on the other side plagues so many people. But for now, Riddhi neither sees herself as something worth being jealous of nor does she even think of any redeeming qualities that she possesses.
Her mind wanders over to distant places and Riddhi wonders if she'll ever find love. Of course, she was barely eighteen, but as she sat in the corner of her darkroom, she cannot help but feel as though life were passing by her. The young ache for the want of companionship and love grips her little heart and she lets out a soft sigh. It could almost be poetic, a girl in the moonlight pining for love, but Riddhi. But poems are fanciful and romantic and such wishful thinking would have only hurt Riddhi more.
So, she closed her eyes and tried not to let the tears escape. But hot, angry tears flowed down through the sides of her eyes and her throat clamped up. She lay that way in the corner, her head against the wall for a long time until she fell asleep that way.
There would come a time when Riddhi would meet a man who would adore every bit of her tender existence. That he would fall in love with her analytical ways and her desperation to become better. That he would fall in love with those dimpled cheeks and earthen pot eyes that tried to hide her insecurities. And that Riddhi would fall in love hopelessly with him. But this wasn't the time for it.
And tonight, under the deep, dark sky Riddhi held herself. Not because her future lover was miles away from busy in his own life but because she needed to learn how to love and hold herself first. There are some places in your heart that a lover cannot mend and Riddhi needed to first set out and heal hers.
In the morning, Yamini would find her daughter curled up in the corner. Her sharp eyes would notice the tear-stained cheeks and the pathetic curve of her little one's mouth. Her motherly heart would twist at the image of her daughter but she knew better than to interfere. There were some things she couldn't protect Riddhi from as much as she ached to. Sweet, gentle Riddhi would find it difficult at first but Yamini knew her daughter was made of the same blood as she.
With that consolation, she closed the door softly and let the daylight warm her daughter's heart.
A/n: I really wanted to paint Riddhi as more than just Shweta's supporting character. Yamini here is Riddhi's mother in case you're wondering.
So what do you think of Riddhi? Do you despise her or do you think her feelings are valid? Let me know what you think in the comments below!!
That's all for today. Have a great day ahead!
Warmly,
shortgirlbigbook â¤ï¸.