Blank stares, faithless
Vampires at the same places
Shadows, traces...
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"I feel like pounding her into a cake. So bad that her daddy dearest won't identify her carcass." Nene seethed, palm balled into a fist.
Chimdi rolled her eyes at her roommate. Hands separating several clothes and dumping a few into her hamper.
"Isn't that too deadly a thought Nens?"
"Bitch, you didna see what I saw," the darker girl shuddered. "Her hands were all over my oblivious El! And that bitch, that bitch was shooting a fucking Zee world drama." She sat down, ready to paint a perfect picture. "She was like some pretentious villian, claiming to be the damsel in distress in my fucking love story!!"
They were in their hostel room, getting ready for laundry since it was Friday. Heaps of colourful clothes were strewn around, the air thick with the chocking smell of cotton, making the room a far cry from it's usual spic-and-span look.
Lara palmed her face in defeat, tired of the darker girl's dramatical breakdown.
"Where does that leave you Nens, you are kinda making a mountain out of a mere hill right now."
Nene ignored her, flipping an imaginary hair aside. "I'm that bitchy protagonist Larabear. And trust me babe, we always bring life into the game."
Chimdi rolled her eyes, focus, back to separating her clothes.
Lara eyed the girl up, a pen scribbling into her jotter minutes ago, now between her digits. "Girl, you're overreacting and you know it."
The darker girl shook her head in disagreement. "What if it was really a misunderstanding on Aisha's part? You're going to wage a war over nothing, just because Aisha got involved?"
Nene scoffed, standing up to sit on her bedside desk. "Christ, you're sweet Lara but you're stupid. No offense though. You should be aware that nothing is actually a misunderstanding when it comes to Aisha Lawal, as long as the said victim has a dick."
She stretched her fingers to relieve it of it's static state. "El might have been oblivious to all that was happening and he'd prolly think it was all a misunderstanding. Aisha knows what she's doing."
Chimdi paused mid fold, glaring at the darker girl. "Then why the hell did you put him on a hot seat when he wasn't even close to knowing what was up?"
"Abeg, El is cute and shit but still a red-blooded male." Nene defended her actions.
Chimdi gawked at her like she grew literal balls. "Are you shitting me right now?"
"Listen bitch, I know how whores like Aisha get boys like sweet ol' El. So my action is justified,"
"Oh really?"
"Seriously Dee, it's all gonna start with a not-so-innocent thank you message till it graduates into can I get a dick pic please. El needs some fire to keep him on guard whenever he thinks of indulging her." She leaned on the thin wall, smiling satisfactorily.
Chimdi and Lara both shook their heads in disbelief. "Jeez Nene," Chimdi said. "You sound like a psycho!"
Nene sniggered, tired that they were being too straight-laced at that moment. "Oh please, you'd do worse if it involves TJ and you know it."
Chimdi shook her head almost too quick to seem genuine, heat crawled up her cheeks making it hard to give nothing away.
Nene clucked her tongue, gesturing towards Lara. "I knew it!"
"Jeez I'll never! We- we are not even dating!" She stuttered. "Why the hell would I do such."
They gave her knowing looks that spoke volumes.
"What?" She glared at them. "I'm serious, that's true. He doesn't even like me that much."
Nene waved her bluff off, this time she sat on her bed. "Tell that to your lying ass. That dude looks at you like the sun sets and rises in your fucking eyes. Damn, he looks at you like you hold the key to his life."
Chimdi gasped, the room suddenly hot, too hot for her. Thinking of TJ turned her into a mess, the good kind. "Stop talking bulls Nens."
"Do I look like a joke to you?"
"Best believe it Dee." Lara said. "Nene may have exaggerated a little, but one thing is certain, he adore even the air you breath."
"You guys can hype things up unnecessarily." Chimdi said, biting back a grin. "Seriously."
The girls left their beds and made to hers, all bearing knowing looks.
"What now?"
"So tell me," Nene began, wiggling her brows suggestively. "You guys have kissed baa?" Chimdi gawked at them in horror.
"Made out in one of those several hide spots like in movies and novels baa?" The sly look on Lara's face prompted her to sit up.
Suddenly, she felt hot all over. The thoughts of kissing him, lips pressed together, sharing the same air had her gasping for air. That was it, being in his presence turned her into mushy goo, but having not-so-holy thoughts of him lit a fire so damn hot in her.
Embarrassed to the peak, she picked up her hamper and detergent, springing up to her feet.
"I think laundry room is open right now!" She said too quickly, making for the door.
Her roommates cackled like the conniving bitches they were, leaving her as flustered as a rabbit caught on heat.
"Run if you want Dee!" Nene called after her, right when the door banged at her wake.
"But you can never run away from your tiny derriere!" And... She definitely heard that.
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Her skin shun like spun gold dipped in chocolate, lifeless eyes and sharp jaws glared back at her fiercely. She took herself in the only mirror available in the cube-like laundry room.
Camilla Cabello, pouring out her heart felt, proverbially inquisitive questions in her ears, like a blast from the past, had her thinking about the one person she was trying so hard to block out.
She didn't know why her roommate's words were haunting her even after a good fortyfive minutes away from them.
Having thoughts of him stirred helluva loads of questions, ones that suddenly made her inquietude for reasons unfathomable to her.
She spared a glance at the mirror and was greeted by a confident look. Shapely jaws jutted out confidently, the fierce look greeting her again. Just what she'd built up for years, Strong and confident.
The perfect front that shielded who she really was.
Who are you in the dark?
Show me the scary part?
The artiste's voice inquired again.
Who was she? She asked herself, taking a peek at herself in the mirror.
The Chimdi Sera Gentry who'd bagged million worth contracts? The Chimdi whose fan pages quadrupled in months?
The Chimdi she made everyone to see; famous, content and happy.
The Chimdi who'd built the perfect faux fronts to shield who she really was. A strong and confident look to shield the broken soul that she was.
But as of recent, a certain someone had tried to break her resolve. The burglary proof barricades she'd used to fend off everyone were crumbling down whenever she was in his presence.
And that was all that got her in a state of despair. She'd let her layers peel away, albeit unintentionally. It was like the part of herself that she'd been trying to hide from the world were trying to bare themselves to him.
She was helpless in his presence when it came to keeping herself together and she couldn't help but feel worried, scared, if not.
She was scared of so many things. A bevy of horrible scenarios kept flashing their ugly heads at her.
The skinny girl was scared she'll finally bare herself, strip raw and would get the same reaction she'd gotten in the past.
Scared of feeling invalidated, the looks that made her feel like a broken record once upon a time, were what she was so hell bent on avoiding.
Her shrink had advised that sharing was a leeway to emotional and mental freedom. She'd so yearned for such freedom that she'd gotten bruised beyond her expectations.
At the end, they'll leave you feeling invalidated Dee.
And there she was, trying to stop herself from making such grave mistakes.
It was better to have the feelings bottled up, no matter how overwhelming they might be, she'd thought. And yes, John Donne had explained that no man was an island, but she begged to differ. For when it came to the matter at hand, she'd be her own world.
She spared another glance at her reflection, the frontings were down, the self-loathing taking full effect. The girl staring back lived in her heart; bruised and broken, hapless and helpless. Stiff neck met sagged shoulders.
The girl that had tried so hard to break from the shackles of her own mental prison. The raw truth was staring back like a blight. Scared, uncertain eyes stared back at her, begging to be reassured of how strong they could be.
Chimdi still maintained eye contact with the broken girl before her. Trying to figure out what TJ had witnessed the few times she'd let her defenses slip. She tried to figure out why he hadn't freaked out and made for the nearest exit, why he hadn't avoided her like the plague she thought she was, cos the girl staring back was a lost girl, pleading to be found.
Soon, she was hit by what she thought was the bitter truth. That doubt that had been lurking around her wandering mind, one she'd tried so hard to ignore.
And she couldn't help with the lane her train of thought was taking. He'd felt nothing but sheer pity for her!
How could she ever think no one would be scared by such baggage encumbering her. Of course, that was what most teenagers did. He'd thought she was a puzzle, a jigsaw that needed to be solved, a conundrum to be unraveled.
As her mind worked on their own accord, she couldn't help but feel her heart and hope drop into her stomach.
Her roommates were wrong, she concluded. He'd seen her as nothing but a spoilt, helpless girl as cliche as it sounded, seeking for help.
Her heart had tried to set her thinking faculty straight, tried to remind her of the rare moments they'd shared together. The words he'd spoken to her had no link to pity, and his eyes, they'd conveyed all she tried not to believe were possible.
Chimdi was brought out of her sulky mood and depressing thought when she felt a tap on her shoulder. And immediately, the mask was back on, with the skinny girl praying the intruder hadn't witnessed any of her emotional breakdown.
As she spun around, removing an airpod from one ear, caramel skin housing bulgy eyes on a round framed glasses that made said intruder look an owl, who'd lost it's way in the bush were fixed on her.
Lips stretched out in a grin too wide for her small face.
The skinny girl took a cautious step back. The girl standing before her had a good flesh to her bone, making her more fit. Albeit, she was her junior.
Chimdi tried to figure out what business she had with the girl, until she saw the jumbo sized detergent on her Junior's hand.
Her senses caught up immediately, she'd lent out her detergent to the junior student a while ago. Offering the girl a polite smile, she took the detergent from the girl.
"Thank you senior." The girl said, obviously trying to tone down her excitement.
"Welcome." Came Chimdi's curt response as she waited for the girl to get going.
But the girl stood there, looking, as star struck as they came. A wide grin still in place, heels rocking spookily. Her little fan girl show, creeping Chimdi out.
Chimdi raised a dainty brow, when the girl refused to move an inch and neither did she clear her throat.
The junior girl got the message clear. Clearing her throat and with backward strides she exited the room, causing the skinny girl to respire out in relief.
The sun was ready to rest for the day, Chimdi figured out, as she looked out of the large window letting in enough ventilation into the tiny laundry room.
The once blue sky took to an orange and red hue, like a curtain across the bright sky, as the sun bade farewell for the day, making way for the moon to take it's nightly shift.
Chimdi felt the chilling dust bearing wind making it's evening visit as required, reminding the hostel girls of it's existence.
The dry season had made an early appearance for the year, as early as the tenth month. Everyone had thought it'd tone down at least, before the twelfth month, but there it was, freezing bones and taking what was left off mother nature's bright appearance.
Trying to avoid battling the cold wind while having her nightly bath, Chimdi decided to carry on with going back to her room. The tiny short and tank top she had donned on, wasn't doing her health any favour.
Picking up her washing bucket and hamper, she made her way to the store room to return the bucket she borrowed from there.
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