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An Arlin Prom
Elijah stays quiet, eyes watching me cautiously as I take in a deep breath, unsure what to even say.
Everything feels upside down, all tossed around. My feelings, my thoughts. My life.
At this point, I truly don't even know who I am.
"I'm a huge fucking idiot," I finally settle on saying.
Elijah's eyes slightly widen, clearly having not expected that kind of response. "What?"
I wasn't sure about it before, but I am now, and so I repeat my words firmly. "I am a huge fucking idiot."
It settles over me how true my words are and how right Noah is. As much as it pains me to agree with him, I have no choice.
"Lyn..." Elijah says, voice taking on a joking tone, as if he doesn't believe I'm being serious. "Come on. You're not."
"Yes, I am. I really, really am. If you knew at least half the shit going on in my mind, you'd one hundred percent agree that I'm an idiot."
I pause for a second, wondering if sharing my full thoughts with Elijah would help. But how can I share them when I'm still so confused by them?
But the truth is, there's nothing to be confused about. The butterflies in my stomach that swarm faster every time Elijah smiles are answer enough. I like him. I like Elijah. And after every damn thing I've done, said, and been through since moving back to New York, liking Elijah is honestly the most rational, normal, and easiest thing to do.
But Jalen... I hate the way my mind always travels to him, and how even when I'm accepting the better road, the better option, the better choice, I can't shake Jalen.
What is wrong with me?
"Lyndon, you are smart. Or am I confusing you with some other person named Lyndon Prince who was accepted into the four Ivy Leagues she applied to?"
I furrow my brows. "How do you even know that?"
Elijah was never someone I talked to about colleges or future plans. Or am I not only an idiot, but going crazy as well and forgot?
"Uh... Danny and I might've talked about it." He rubs the back of his neckâhis nervous habit. "Okay, we definitely did talk about it. But only because he was worried you wouldn't go to Princeton with him if that's where he ends up attending."
I turn away, looking out the windshield. I didn't think Daniel truly cared, seeing as that was something we talked about in passing. Truthfully, I'd only been half listening to himâtoo caught up with worrying about Jalen and our messy relationship.
Thinking of colleges and where I'd spend my next four years of education didn't seem to matter, at least not in the way it seems to matter to Daniel. Apparently it mattered so much so that he spoke with Elijah about it.
I guess I'm lucky that colleges don't care too much about senior year grades, and that I took my SATs junior year. Because if not, I don't think I would've gotten those acceptances at all. My grades for this school year have been... not good.
I shake my head at myself and my lack of caring. Once again I'm reminded that I've changed far too much.
How could I think this life changing decision wasn't important enough to think about? It matters. It'll determine the next four years of my life, how my future will turn out.
Everything else just seems so small in comparison now. Arlin Preparatory, the gossip, the students, the games, the relationships... Jalen. They all matter so much to me, so much more than I ever should have let them.
But will they matter later? In a year, in four, in ten, will any of this matter?
Will what happened during my senior year truly matter to me?
Will Jalen matter to me?
My chest instantly feels tight at the thought. I get a sick feeling that he will always matter to me, that despite whatever happened or happens, Jalen Uccello can never not mean something to me.
But will it always feel so urgent, so hurtful, so important? I honestly don't know.
I catch Elijah's kind brown eyes once more, and begin wondering if he will matter to me years from now.
An answer doesn't come as quick as it does with Jalen, yet the thought of not caring about Elijah in the future makes me feel sick.
And the more I think of it, the more right it feels to have Elijah mean something to me years from now. More right than having Jalen do so.
What does that mean though?
I'm not sure, and part of me doesn't want to think of it anymore, worried for what the answer will be.
I guess I'd rather torture myself with the thoughts, than face the possibility that the reasoning is because, deep down, I know what I really want.
I shake my head quickly, not wanting to face it.
"Why am I such an idiot?" I say loudly, not meaning for the words to come out, but my frustrations with myself are too overwhelming to not share any longer.
"You're not an idiot," Elijah quickly argues.
"Yes, I am. A huge one."
"Lyndon, stop it. Listen to me right now. You are not an idiot." He pauses, eyes firmly set on me. "You're the smartest person I know."
I snort. "Maybe books smart, but in life, I'm a fucking idiot."
Elijah shakes his head, eyes softening. "No one's a genius at how to live life. We're not supposed to be."
"I guess," I respond in a low voice.
"It's okay to feel like that sometimes," he continues in the same gentle tone. "We all do things, or don't do things, and then sit back and wonder why we made such a stupid decision. But that doesn't make us stupid. It just shows that we're human."
I nod along, but in the back of my mind, I wonder what it is that he's done or hasn't done that he regards as a stupid decision. With the tone of his voice, it's clear he's thinking of one specific thing. And with the way his eyes refuse to leave mine, I begin to wonder if...
No. Not gonna go there. Not gonna let my own... whatever... be projected onto him. Not when I can barely figure it out.
But what is there to figure out? If I like him? Because I already know I do. If it's a smart decision? Well... is it?
When I think of Elijah, my first thought is comfort. He makes me feel comfortable, and in a way, safe. I trust him to be there for me because he just always has.
Elijah's always been there.
He was the one to always make me feel better, allowing me to have easy and light-hearted moments. On the lunchline at school, the cart at the mall he works at. Those were defining moments for me and Jalen's relationshipsâthose were the moments I doubted him before things got serious, moments in which I was given red flags about him, and instead of allowing me to break down over them, Elijah was there.
Just like how he was on the balcony the night of the masquerade party. The night I found out my dad cheated. It was always Elijah talking me off the ledge, whether we knew it or not.
It's always been Elijah.
"Oh god," I say with a sudden sob, "oh no."
"What happened? What's wrong?" Elijah asks, reaching out a hesitant hand my way.
I shake my head, unable to stop the rainfall of tears. "I... I messed up."
"That's fine," he says encouragingly, reaching an arm around my shoulder and rubbing comfortingly. "We already agreed that messing up is what we do."
"No, no," I argue while bringing my hands to cover my face. "I really messed up. Badly."
"Lyndon..." he says in a gentle tone, "whatever it isâ"
"You don't get it!" My voice gets higher as I raise my head to look at him. "I chose Jalen. When it came time to make a choice, I chose him."
Confusion floods Elijah's face. "I, uh... I still don't understand."
"You invited me to the game, and I went to see you, but I left with him. I felt something towards you, and instead of letting that feeling grow, I... I chose to let the ones I felt for Jalen grow. I chose to leave with him that day. I chose him."
Elijah's arm drops from my shoulder, and his mouth opens and closes, shock apparent on his face.
I turn my body toward my door, unable to look him in the face while tears are still streaming down my own. The whole thing is ridiculous, and this isn't the right time, place, or way to say any of this, but I can't deny that the longer I sit here after pouring that all out, the better I feel.
I take in a large breath, and turn back Elijah's way. He hasn't moved at all, his face remaining with the same shocked expression.
"Elijah..." I call out softly.
His brow raises, and he swallows hard before responding. "Yeah, I'm here. Um... I'm sorry, but... what?"
I don't respond, feeling there's nothing else to add. I honestly don't want either of us to say anymore. It's probably selfish of me to dump all of this on him and call it a day, but right now, I feel lighter, and I'm worried anymore conversation will weigh me down again.
Elijah waves his hands around, then drops them and settles his gaze on me. "Can I just clarify some things?" He doesn't wait for a response. "You're saying that... you had feelings for me from that time I invited you to the game?"
I breathe deeply. "Not real feelings from that exact moment. I just... kind of... felt like there was something there."
I close my mouth again. Truth is, I didn't exactly have any feelings for either of them at that point. I just felt something. But that moment changed everything. If I had ignored Jalen and stood, maybe, just maybe, nothing else would have ever happened between us. And this slow and easy build up of realizing my feelings for Elijah would've been the only thing I feltâand I could've acted on them.
Elijah nods to himself, eyes going toward the window. It's silent between us. A comfortable silence. I really wish he wouldn't disrupt it with anymore talk.
"I..." he starts, pausing as if to think over his words. He still won't look at me. "I didn't know you felt that way... too."
I feel my chest tighten once more, butterflies swarming my stomach in excitement, anxiety, and worry.
His voice grows lower, close to a mumble as he adds, "I would've fought for you if I knew you felt that way."
Tears build in my eyes again, and I try my hardest to not let them flow.
I hadn't even thought of the possibility of him liking me tooâenough to admit itâand state that he would've fought for us.
"You deserve better," I whisper, but I know he hears due to how incredibly silent the car is.
His eyes find mine once more as he shakes his head. "Lyn, don'tâ"
I cut him off. "Elijah, I... I'm still... He..."
Elijah nods again. "Yeah, I know." His voice is lower, rougher, as he speaks. "I know."
Our eyes meet once more, making it clear we both know the ends of those sentences I can't say aloud.
Elijah, I love Jalen. I'm still caught up on my feelings toward him. He is still on my mind and in my heart after everything.
I sigh heavily. "Sorry I ruined your plans to stalk your mother with all of my bullshit."
Elijah laughs, the sound genuine and comforting. "I wasn't stalking, I was just..."
"Stalking," I sing.
He rolls his eyes and playfully says, "Shut up."
I send him a smile, and he returns it, serving as a silent agreement that we're okay despite the things we've just revealed.
"Take me home?"
"As you wish," he replies, already shifting the car into drive.
We both face forward, but something in me says to turn his way once moreâjust to see if he seems as okay as he's acting while I'm not looking.
But as if having the same thought, his eyes glance at me in the same moment.
We smile, both having been caught, before turning looking forward again.
That moment, though, serves as a silent agreement that, although we're okay despite what's been said, we're not going to forget it. Not any time soon.
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"Lyndon Alessandra Prince! Open this door right now!"
I wake with a jump, the banging and screaming causing my heart rate to quicken. What the hell is going on?
"Lyndon Alessandra, I am not playing with you!"
I recognize Mom's voiceâher angry tone and the use of my middle name, a clear sign she's pissed. Like, beyond pissed.
What did I do now?
I lazily rise from bed, not too eager to get yelled at so early in the morning. Good thing I decided to lock my door last night.
The second I open it, I'm faced with my mother's pissed off face and an entirely too giddy Noah behind her.
"Lyndonâ" she begins in her authoritative tone, before pausing to look me over. Her eyes quickly move between mine, examining my no doubt puffy eyes and cheeks from crying last night. She sighs, shoulders becoming less tense and face softening. "Lyndon, you're failing gym."
I furrow my brows. "Huh?"
"Ha!" Noah shouts from behind her, pointing his finger at me. "You're failing, dumbass."
"Noah," Mom reprimands, going as far as to shove him in the stomach to get him to take a couple of steps back. Ignoring his pained sounds, she turns to me. "Honey, they're saying you can't attend prom if you don't pass."
"But will I still graduate?" I ask, voice growing higher at the possibility.
"Of course. You'll just have to retake the course in the summer."
"Oh hell no," I immediately shout. "I am not doing that!"
Mom frowns at me, but I see sympathy in her eyes, which means that she definitely knows I've been crying. "Well, what else did they say on the phone, Noah?"
When she turns to Noah, and he smirks, I begin to sense that there's something else going on here.
"Mother, they said if Lynnie doesn't take this summer course she's going to fail... Unless..." Noah's voice trails off, taking on a devious tone towards the end.
"Unless what, asshole?" I ask while crossing my arms.
"Unless you complete a course. A physical course. You know, to test what you should've learned had you actually attended classes."
"You've been skipping?" Mom asks while turning back to me. Her eyes observe me once more, before she clears her throat. "It doesn't matter, actually. What's done is done. I'll call the school and tell them you'll do the course today."
"But... it's Saturday."
"Weekends are for people who pass all their classes, Lynnie."
"Noah, I swear I am going to fucking murder you and no one will ever find your body."
"Wow," a new voice down the hall says. I hear a door close, and soon Knox pops into view. "That was really morbid."
I fake shock, bringing a hand to my chest. "Oh, are you actually speaking to me, or am I still asleep?"
Knox rolls his eyes. "Momentary lapse of judgement. Won't happen again, Lynnie."
"Hey, don't mock me just because you're annoyed with her," Noah says while lightly shoving Knox into the wall.
Knox sets his gaze on Noah, obviously ready to retaliate with some smartass comeback that's only going to result in Noah kicking his ass.
Sensing the tension, Mom raises her hands. "Both of you, knock it off. I'm going to call the school while Lyndon gets ready, and then we're all going to head down there to support her."
"What?" we all shout in unison.
"That's right," she says with finality. "We're all going to be there for each other, and that starts now."
"I have plans that are a lot better than this idea," Noah replies.
"I don't..." Knox announces, "but I'd rather be anywhere else than at that gym."
"And I would rather go through ten thousand courses all by myself in a desert than have these two with me."
Mom looks at all three of us. "I love the honesty," she comments, then smiles in a way that is not at all sweet. "But we're all going. Car leaves in fifteen minutes. Be there, or move out."
She walks off, leaving the three of us to stare dumbly at one another.
"Fourteen minutes now!" she yells from down the hall.
I sprint back into my room to at least take a shower before this day of hell.
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"Well, well, if it isn't little miss Female Prince, who loves skipping my class. Didn't think gym was a necessary requirement for attending graduation and prom, did ya?"
I'm so annoyed at the nickname Coach gives me, and her overall tone and attitude, that I almost, almost, miss the only important and useful thing she's everâand will probably everâsay in her entire life.
"Attending graduation, as in... I'm gonna graduate regardless?"
I don't wait for her response, instead turning toward Noah and Knox, who tossed themselves miserably onto the benches on the other side of the gym the second we entered. Then I look at Mom, who's standing by me, also confused.
"I thought she wasn't graduating if she didn't pass?" Mom asks.
The coach sighs. "No, she can't attend the ceremony or prom, but she will still graduate."
"Well, what kind of damn school is this if they're letting kids who fail classes still graduate?" Mom says loudly, aggravation clear. She places her hand on my arm. "Nothing against you, honey. I'm glad you'll graduate. But honestly, we pay so much in tuition, and for what? Not a better education than public school, that's for sure."
"Damn, Mom," I comment, impressed. "Tell that hoe off."
"Lyndon," she scolds, "don't call your teacher a hoe."
"Shit, my bad." Mom's eyes widen, making me realize I cursed. "Shit, sorry. Ugh. I mean, just sorry."
The coach rolls her eyes. "So, are we gonna do this course or not? You're wasting my time, Female Prince."
I roll my own eyes at the nickname, and Mom seems to find it just as irritating as me. "Female Prince? Do you not know my daughter's name?"
"Does your daughter know my name?" Coach retorts.
Mom turns to me, hopeful eyes begging me to know it. I shrug my shoulders.
The coach points her finger. "That's because she never came to class!"
Mom face palms, then grabs my arm and pulls me aside. "Lyndon, I know this has been a rough year for you, and you clearly had a bad night, so I won't even get into the fact that you really weren't going to all of your classes. I'll also ignore the fact that you've been a spoiled little brat ever since we moved, constantly disrespecting me. What I won't ignore is the fact that you need this course to go to prom and graduation. So, get ready and go do it."
"But, Mom, I don't care about either of those things," I say honestly. With the way my school year went and all of the unresolved drama with my classmates, I'd really rather not attend either of those things with them.
But Mom has other ideas, as she sends me a stern look. "You will at least attend graduation. I will see my daughter walk across the stage. So get your ass over there and complete this course, damn it."
My mouth drops, not used to my mother taking on this kind of tone. But her aggravation and aggressionâwhen she does bring it outâhas always been hard to ignore, especially because I know the parts of myselfâand Noah and Knoxâthat are like this completely stem from her. That woman is tough when she wants to be.
"Okay, damn, calm down," I say while raising my hands in surrender and turning towards the coach. "Where do I begin?"
She laughs, loudly and obnoxiously. "You need to warm up first, and maybe even train a little. There's no way you can go into the course right away and ace it. You're unfit."
Fuck you, bitch is what I wanna say. Instead, I settle on a very aggravated, "Ugh," as I head toward the empty side of the gym to start stretching.
A shadow soon looms over me after, and I assume it's Noah, so I quickly reach out and punch his knee.
"Ouch," a male voice says, but it's not my brotherâeither of them. It's Daniel. "You hit hard for someone who looks like they weigh next to nothing."
"Yeah, just ask Cortney," another voice adds, laughing hysterically at their own joke.
I can recognize that laugh anywhere. "Daniel, Elijah, what the hell are you two doing here?"
"We could ask you the same thing," Elijah replies. "Noah changed our plans to workout here, and instead of finding him, we see you laid out on the floor."
"I'm stretching," I correct.
"Are you, though?" he asks, squinting his eyes.
"Stop talking before you face the same fate as Daniel," I say while standing up.
Daniel stands upright, removing his hand from the spot I kicked. "Back down, Eli. You don't want a piece of that."
Elijah's eye catches mine, and the small smile that comes to his face has heat rushing south in my stomach. Oh dear Lord, I do not need this right now.
"Could you guys maybe... fuck off? I have to get ready for this course my mom's making me do."
Noah suddenly pops up, tossing an arm around Daniel and Elijah, smirking at me. "Yeah, you gotta ace this to graduate, right?"
The ugly laugh that follows his statement has me quickly realize why there was a miscommunication. "You bitch."
His laughs get louder. "I'll admit, my plan didn't work out too well since Mom didn't kick your ass like I hoped. But your face when she told you, and the fact that you're actually stuck doing the course, is good enough for me."
I kick my foot out, hoping to accomplish my previous goal of hurting him, but Daniel swats it away. "Come on, Lyndon. You need to get ready. Graduation and prom are important."
"They're literally not," I tell him, placing my foot on the ground again. "I'm only doing this for my mom."
That felt so weird to say.
"Well, you're not gonna accomplish anything if we keep standing around talking," Elijah says, stepping out of Noah's hold. "You need help?"
I shake my head, then quickly rethink it. Coach Bitch was right, I am unfit. There's no way I'll pass. Last thing I need to hear is Mom bitching that I purposely failed.
"Some help would actually be really nice," I tell him, smiling.
He smiles too, and Noah's gaze swings between the two of us. "Well then," he announces in a weird tone, "I guess Danny and I will get out of the way."
"Woah," I call out, stopping them. "All three of you are athletes. So, all three of you are helping."
"Fuck," Noah curses. "But you're so hopeless, we'll never get out of here."
This time, I swing my fist too quickly to be stopped, and Noah's pained groan after getting hit in the arm is like music to my ears.
"Well, I guess I'm now not the only one who knows Lyndon's punches are like literal death," Daniel says, still sounding bitter he got caught in the crossfire.
"And Cortney," Elijah points out, stupid laughter coming again. "Can't forget Cortney."
"You're just... never gonna let that go, huh?" I ask him.
"Hey, I had to get in between that. It was crazy, and kind of scary. I deserve the right to bring it up. It's my war story."
I let out a laugh. "War story? Oh my god. That's too funny. Was it really that brutal?"
Elijah nods, eyes widening. "It looked like you were gonna kill her."
I laugh again as Daniel says, "Dang, Lyndon. I heard you went crazy, but I didn't think it was that crazy."
"I've been telling you for months now that she's a psychopath," Noah tells Daniel.
"Hey," I call out defensively. "Cortney wasn't holding back either. Honestly, I'm surprised it even went so far. I didn't think Cortney was like that."
The three guys nod along, then Noah shakes his head after. "Well, actually, it's not that shocking since she was rough in bed."
I gag, turning away. "Fucking gross, Noah."
"Yeah," Daniel nods, looking just as disgusted as me.
"Oh nah," Noah says, pointing at both Daniel and I. "You two are the last motherfuckers with the right to judge anyone's taste."
I roll my eyes but stay quiet, knowing he's referencing Liam and Jalen for me. Daniel, however, gets defensive. "You're kind of dissing yourself right now."
Noah pauses for a second. "Well... I'm kind of a piece of shit. And so is Jalen. And you liked us both. Your taste is trash."
The four of us go silent, then burst out laughing.
"Oh my gosh, you're so right," Daniel manages to say through his laughter. "I need help."
"Don't we all," I say as my laughing ends. "But all jokes aside, can we get started with helping me pass?"
Noah shakes his head in mock disappointment. "There you fucking go. Always making everything about you."
"You're so annoying," I tell him.
Daniel nods in agreement, and then so does Elijah, and that's when Noah decides to take offense. "Watch it, Valencia. I'm the one you're spending the next four years of your life with."
"Um, excuse me, what?" I quickly ask.
"Oh, you don't know? Awkward," Noah replies in a teasing voice.
I ignore him, turning to Elijah with a raised brow. He contains another laugh at our antics, then says, "I've decided to go to Ohio State. I got an offer to play for them, and their team's pretty good, so..."
"Their team isn't pretty good, it's one of the fucking best in college football," Noah interjects. "Their track and field team is great too. I can't fucking wait to start there in the fall."
"That's where you decided to go too?" I question, feeling stupider by the second that I didn't know. "Does Mom know?"
Noah quickly glances toward Mom and Knox on the benches. "Not yet. I'm waiting to see where you decide to go. Hopefully it's somewhere further so she'll focus all her anger on you."
"We're heading to Princeton, right?" Daniel asks, tossing an arm around my shoulder.
"I... I'm not sure," I mutter, beginning to feel pressured.
Pressure to decide, pressure to pass this course, pressure to attend prom and graduation... pressure to plan out my entire fucking future in the next ten minutes.
Thoughts of the future leave me feeling hollow, because everything is still so unsure. And stupidly enough, any future I picture, I can't help wondering how Jalen fits into itâif he fits into it.
"I thought you didn't make a choice on Princeton yet?" Elijah asks Daniel.
Daniel shrugs. "I didn't get an offer from Ohio State, or Clemson, or LSU... so, I'm taking that as a sign that football just... isn't in the cards for me."
"But what about the University of Florida or Syracuse University? I thought they made you an offer?" Elijah asks once more, seeming bummed Daniel's given up.
"I only got an offer from Syracuse, but if that's all I have going for me, then my odds of ever getting into the NFL are slim. I'm better off focusing on my studies somewhere else."
"Danny..." Elijah says, voice sad. "If it's what you really want you can't give up. Plus, SU is right here. You wouldn't have to completely leave home."
Daniel shakes his head, flashing Elijah a small, sad smile. "I've made my choice. I already replied to Princeton."
Noah shoots him a sad look, placing his hand on Daniel's shoulder. "Damn, man. Sorry it didn't work out."
"Yeah," I agree, gently touching his arm and squeezing before letting go. "I'm sorry, Daniel."
"Guys, it's fine," he says, forcing his smile to get bigger. "Sure, I'm not entirely happy that I spent four years thinking I could maybe play professionally one day, but there's no reason to be sad. I'm going to Princeton. That's still an amazing school. I'll be more than fine. And I just might have Lyndon with me."
His arm wraps around my shoulder again, and I force a smile to my face, though I'm really not sure if I'll end up going there. The thought of it just doesn't feel right for some reason.
"Enough bullshit about colleges," Noah says while waving a hand around. "I wanna get the fuck out of here before noon. So, Lynnie," he calls out, pointing to me with a stern look, "get your shit together and listen to every instruction we give."
I scoff. "I am not going to just listen to whatever the hell..."
My sentence trails off when I take in all three of their serious faces. Fuck. I guess their athlete side is coming out, and the time for joking and playfulness is gone.
It's time to get down to business.
Fuck my life.
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"My god, I am so nervous."
"Mom, it's my grade we're waiting for, not yours."
"Shh, Lyndon."
I toss myself onto the couch, loving the annoyed look that comes to Knox's face when my shoulder knocks his. If he won't actually talk to me, then bugging him till he cracks is the next best thing.
The ringing house phone stops Knox from saying anything. Mom rushes to answer, and we both watch as she sprints across the room and practically slides across the counter to grab it from the spot she just placed it down at.
"Hello? Yes, this is she. I'm good, and you? Good, good. Is it... Okay... Okay... Uh huh... Oh wow, really? That's so shocking... Thank you so much for the call... You have a good day... You, too... Bye."
Mom hangs up, places the phone down, and walks toward the couch. "Well?" I ask when she stands over me in silence. "Did I pass or fail?"
"You're eager to know..." she says, face remaining neutral. "Would you say you actually care?"
"About going to graduation and prom? No. What I care about is knowing if all my hard work paid off."
My body was numb after getting home, and it's been sore for four days straight. I was beyond pissed when Coach Bitch said she needed a few days to review the tapes she took. I'm pretty sure she's only taking long to piss me off. I know it's definitely had Mom worried, seeing as prom is tonight and she doesn't know if I can go or not.
Well, didn't know. She has the answer now, and is being annoying about sharing it.
"Well, it did pay off, mija," she finally answers, a wide smile coming to her face.
"Wait, really?" I ask, slowly rising from my seat in shock. "I actually passed?"
"Yes!" Mom shouts excitedly. "You did it! You passed that ridiculously hard course! I'm not sure if it's really hard because I didn't do it, but it looked difficult enough!"
"It was, Mom! It really was! I can't believe I passed!" I shout in the same excited tone as her.
An embarrassing squeal cuts off any of our other sentences, and I'm not sure who makes the sound first, but I do know that we both start letting them out as Mom gathers me into her arms for a hug.
"What the hell is happening right now," Noah calls out in annoyance as he walks through the front door, Daniel behind him.
"Lyndon passed. Ma's real happy about it. Apparently, Lyndon is too all of a sudden. Go figure," Knox explains in a monotone voice, adding in an eye roll at the end.
"Lame," Noah says, eyeing us again before holding up what's in his hand. "Look what I got, Ma."
Mom turns her head his way, but keeps her arms wrapped around me, and for some fucking odd reason, I let her. "Oh my, is that a corsage?"
Noah nods, smiling. "Guess who Danny's taking to prom."
"You?" I answer with a snort.
Daniel shifts from foot to foot behind Noah, shaking his head. "Uh, no. Guess again."
I shrug my shoulders, resulting in Mom's arms falling off of me. That was way too long of an embrace, anyway.
"He's taking you, bitch!" Noah shouts, before tossing the plastic box at me.
I fumble to catch it before it hits me in the face. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
"I'm taking you to prom," Daniel answers with a kind smile.
"Yeah, so hurry up and start on your makeup before you make him look bad. It's enough he's gonna show up with you on his arm."
I clench my fist, refraining from knocking Noah's teeth out. Instead, I say, "I thought I already made it clear that I wasn't going."
Noah waves a dismissive hand at me. "Bullshit. We all knew you were gonna pass with our help, so we went ahead and made our prom arrangements. All you need to do is your hair and makeup, the rest is handled."
"Noahâ"
"I said it's handled!" he shouts over me, walking down the hall after.
I look toward Daniel. "You guys can't be serious. You can't force me to go."
"Nobody's forcing you," Daniel says as he steps closer, clearly ready to give me a small speech.
Mom cuts in, though. "I'm forcing you. You worked hard, and you deserve this. You're going."
"Well, that settles that," Daniel says with a smile. "Come on. It'll be fun. Us four always have a great time together, and other than Saturday helping you, we haven't really all been together in so long. I miss it."
Shit. He got me there. I miss us four together, too. I hadn't realized till recently, but it's clear that any good momentâan entirely good moment, not one that was good at the time and now taintedâhas been with them.
"Alright," I say. "Fuck it. I'll go." I pause, grabbing Daniel's arm and pulling him back as he tries walking off. "Wait. Noah said just worry about hair and makeup. But what the hell am I gonna wear? Nothing?"
"Ew, Lyndon. I don't need that mental image," Knox says while standing from the couch in disgust.
I flip him the finger, then turn back to Daniel who's walking toward the door. "We got you a dress already. Well, Malia did. And Noah was kidding about hair and makeup. I mean, you can do it yourself if you want, but if you need professional help, we have people for that too."
Instantly the door opens to two ladies with hair and makeup supplies, and Elijah holding what looks to be the prettiest dress I've ever seen in my life. It's wrapped in the usual plastic they place over it to protect it, so I can only imagine how much better it looks without that over it.
"Oh wow," I breathe out. "Wait a minute. Did you say Malia got me this dress?"
"Yeah, Noah asked her for help," Daniel answers. "Isn't it perfect?"
I nod in agreement, kind of shell shocked by everything going onâespecially Malia's involvement.
Guilt for still not reaching out hits me, and the selfish part of me knows I'm not doing so because of Jalen. Once again, every little goddamn thing has to relate to him.
I shake it all away, though. Daniel's right. Us four do have a good time together. I was always sure an Arlin prom would be a shitshow, but if we at least stick together, we can probably turn this into a really fun night.
"Come on in," I tell the ladies with the supplies as I take the dress from Elijah. "Let's do this."
ââââââââââ²âââââââââ
"Well, this shit sucks."
Agreeing with Noah seems to be a regular occurrence now, as I quickly nod my head. Daniel begrudgingly agrees too, frowning, as I'm sure he was really expecting better.
Noah smirks, reaching his hand into his suit jacket and pulling out a flask. "So let's liven it up."
"No. No way. I am not drinking at a school event," Daniel quickly says.
"And I just got the okay to attend graduation. Mom will kill me if I fuck that up," I tell him.
"You two are such losers." Noah rolls his eyes, then begins opening the flask. A teacher passes so he pauses, and then he sucks his teeth once she's gone. "This is way too obvious. Where the hell is Eli with the punch?"
"I'm here. Calm down," Elijah calls out as he makes his way back to us.
I refrain from openly ogling himâsomething I've been doing all night. He just looks too good in his dark gray suit, black under shirt bringing out his perfectly tanned skin. His eyes seem to shine brighter, and even his smile seems bigger. He looks so happy, and that in turn makes me happy.
We each take a glass of punch from him, with Noah saying, "It took you long enough." He then sneakily pours some of the drink from his flask into the cup. "Anyone else want?"
Elijah shakes his head. "For the record, I had to pour and carry all four cups by myself. I went as fast as I could."
Noah waves a dismissive hand his way, and Elijah shakes his head in annoyance once more before turning to me. "Any tips on how to deal with him full-time?"
"A little violence is good," I say before reaching over and punching my twin in the arm.
Some of his drink spills over, narrowly missing falling on his suit. "Fuck you, Lynnie. Don't waste my alcohol if you're not gonna drink any."
"Shh," Daniel hurriedly shushes. "Don't say the a word so loud."
"Dude, you sound so fucking lame when you talk like that," Noah tells his friend before chugging the rest of his drink. He rises from his chair after. "I need a refill."
Daniel watches him walk away, then turns to me and Elijah. "I feel like someone should follow him before he spikes the entire bowl."
"I feel like you're the man for the job," I tell him, while Elijah motions with his hand for Daniel to go.
Daniel sighs, before getting up and sprinting to catch up with Noah. Leaving just Elijah and I at the table, he slides his chair closer. "Having a good time?"
I shrug my shoulders. "It could be worse."
It goes quiet, with Elijah nodding and looking off.
"You look great," I blurt out, realizing I hadn't complimented him all night.
I did enough of that in my head, but he should hear it. There's nothing wrong with one friend telling another they look good. I smacked Daniel's ass right before we walked into the place. That doesn't mean I want him.
When Elijah's eyes find mine, it becomes way too obvious that there's a huge difference between complimenting Daniel and complimenting him.
Shit.
Elijah smiles, a sweet and kind smile accompanied by the slightest blush on the top of his cheeks. "You look beautiful, Lyndon."
"Don't compliment me just because I complimented you," I tell him jokingly, trying to stop myself from truly taking his words seriously.
A small laugh escapes Elijah, before he's casting me another kind smile. "I'm not saying it just because of that. I mean it. I really... really mean it. You look beautiful."
I swallow hard, unsure what to say next. I have two options. Keep joking or actually let this conversation get serious. It's been five days since we talked about things, and maybe, brushing it under the rug isn't the right choice. Maybe we don't have to pretend these feelings we had and have aren't there.
But I don't get to make a choice, because the air feels like it leaves my lungs when those usual whispers spread around the room, as everyone's head turns one way. I've seen this too many times to not know what's going on.
My eyes automatically follow. There's a chance it's just Malia entering, but according to Noah, our cousin had no plans of attending prom. I don't blame her. Apparently, the dress she gave me is one she had chosen for herself, before ultimately deciding prom wasn't her best option.
I hope it's her at the door. That she changed her mind. It'd be nice to finally see her and talk, especially since she's done this nice thing for me.
But I know I really want it to be her because that means it's not the other person who turns heads and causes whispers.
I spot a dress through the crowd that slowly parts for the person to walk, and momentarily feel relieved that Malia actually did show up.
Suddenly, I miss her, and long to get that connection we had. A glimpse of it showed after we both fought, but it died out because of my stubbornness. Now I want nothing more than to grab onto it again.
I stand, thinking this is my chance.
"Lyn?" Elijah asks in confusion.
"I'm gonnaâ" I start to explain, but my mouth quickly closes when I see who everyone's looking at.
It's definitely not Malia. But there is a girl there, and her name is Cortney Rousso, and she's hanging onto the arm of Jalen Uccello.
What the fuck!
They came to prom... together?
I feel bile rising in my throat at the sight of them. Cortney's red dress complements his all black suit perfectly, and I'm instantly taken back to the night of the masquerade party, with similar color schemes and feelings of betrayal.
How could he do this? How could he do this to me?
They continue walking through the crowd like movie stars, until they reach a table at the very end of the roomâclearly set up just for them and their crew. David and Dedra are already seated there, with Dedra sending an awkward smile Cortney's way. David's face, however, remains unimpressed.
I know I should look away, or at least just stop standing here looking like an idiot, but I'm too in shock to move. I don't know why I find this so shocking, as if Jalen hasn't done so much more to hurt me. But this... this... just feels like too much.
After all the lies and hurtful words, this stupid moment truly feels like the worst of the worst.
I catch a pair of eyes on me from their way, and I maintain eye contact when I realize it's David.
I expect a satisfied smirk, a wink of victory, even a smug smile. But instead, he looks very solemn, causing the tension in my shoulders to ease. He then looks away, removing his arm from the back of Dedra's chair and excusing himself from the table.
I quickly turn, knowing that the possibility of David coming here is slim, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.
"I need air," I tell Elijah, who's already trailing wordlessly behind me as I move. "You can stay here. It's fine."
"I'm not gonna stay here while you run outside by yourself," Elijah replies, moving ahead of me to open the door for us.
I barely step out before Noah and Daniel rush to follow us. "Where are you two going? There's still a few hours left."
"I... don't wanna be here. You were right. This shit sucks," I tell my brother firmly, then glance toward the flask he has half hidden in his jacket. I reach forward and snatch it. "And you were right about this too."
"Lyndon, maybe you shouldn't..." Daniel begins to protest.
I cut him off by taking a big swig from the flask, then turn back to my brother. "Got anymore?"
Noah nods excitedly. "Hell yeah. Our limo is filled with it."
"Let's go," I tell him, walking off toward the parking lot and hearing all three of them following.
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Daniel's giddy laughter echoes around the limo.
"Holy shit," Noah calls out happily. "If I knew drunk Danny was this great, I'd never have hung around him sober for so long."
"Shut the fuck up," Daniel says through his laughter.
Us three giggle more, since dropping f bombs and every other curse word in the book seems to be drunk Daniel's favorite thing to do.
"Hey, pullover!" Daniel suddenly screams to the driver through the partition.
"He can't hear you," Elijah explains to a frustrated Daniel as the limo keeps moving. "Use the intercom."
Daniel looks at him like he has three heads, so Elijah sighs and presses the button himself, then motions for Daniel to speak.
"Pullover!" Daniel screams again. Once the ride stops, he looks at us sheepishly. "I gotta pee."
"Great," Noah calls out sarcastically. "And where the fuck do you think you're gonna do that at?"
"Nature, baby," he tells Noah with a wink, before swinging the door open and clambering out.
"Fuck, one of us really needs to go help him," I tell the guys. "And by one of us, I mean one of the people who have a dick."
Elijah bursts out laughing once I say the last word, and I shove him for being immature.
"Why can't it be you, Lynnie?" I send my brother an are you kidding me? look. "He's gay. He's not gonna start swinging his dick at you."
Elijah's laughter gets louder, and both my twin and I flash him worried glances. "Are you okay?"
Elijah waves a hand at me. "I'm good, I'm good. That shit's just funny."
He barely contains the rest of his giggles, so Noah sighs and starts moving toward the door. "Clearly, I'm the only option then."
Once Noah's gone, I turn toward Elijah in concern again. "Seriously, are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Lyn," he says, laughter finally ending. "I didn't drink nearly as much as Danny. I'm good."
"Okay, I'm just making sure. I wouldn't put it past Noah to have mixed a bunch of different drinks together."
Elijah nods, clearly knowing Noah well enough to know that's entirely possible. "Very true. But you're fine, right? After Danny, you pretty much drank the most. So if you're good, I'm most certainly good."
I pause, knowing I kind of overdid it in the first half of our drive. But I calmed down at the end, especially once I realized Daniel was going a little too hard for someone who doesn't usually drink.
Then again, I've never been a big drinker either. Not until I got here, at least. And I'm starting to think tonight is the most I've actually drank. I don't even know exactly what it is that Noah mixed into the bottles and flasks he bought.
"Oh shit," I finally tell Elijah. "We're fucked up."
"Not as fucked up as Danny," he says with another round of laughter.
I watch him in hysterics. "So... you sure you're alright? Because that laugh... I don't know. It's not sitting right with me."
I let out my own laugh after, because seeing Elijah so hysterical over the littlest things is funny.
He then sits up straight, still trying to contain his laugh as he places a hand on my leg to get my attention. "I'm good. Trust me."
Trust him. Hmm. Somehow, trusting Elijah is the easiest thing to do.
"I do," I reply, letting out another giggle.
"Good," he answers, and then some of the silky fabric separated by the slit in my dress falls to the side, causing Elijah's hand to touch my bare skin.
Instantly, our laughter ends, and the atmosphere of the car quickly turns from playful to serious in seconds.
His hand doesn't move, and I don't brush it off. I'm not sure what I want to happen, all I know is I wouldn't mind if he moved a little closer.
He seems to be doing just that, or maybe I'm imagining it. The distance between us seems to be decreasing, maybe I'm the one moving.
"Boo!" someone shouts from the door that was left open.
My heart feels like it jumps out of my body, does a lap around the limo, then climbs back in. It's racing fast, like I've done something wrong.
We both turn toward Daniel, who's completely oblivious to what he's just interrupted.
"I peed in a bush and Noah watched," he says happily.
"Of course he did," Elijah answers, and if his voice hadn't sounded much deeper than usual, I would've thought he moved on so easily from this moment.
"Good for you," I tell Daniel, not even bothering to hide how breathless my tone sounds. I feel like I can barely catch my breath.
Elijah's hand is still on me.
"I did not watch, you freak," Noah says with an eye roll. "I did, however, have to pull you away from going into that bar. What's the matter with you, man? One drink and you turn into... well, me!"
After his rant, Noah looks at me and Elijah, shaking his head as if to say can you believe this shit? But he pauses, expression dropping. A glint appears in his eyes, one I can't decipher, because my head is still feeling way too fuzzy.
"It's a gay bar, Noah Prince," Daniel says in a slur. "That's something I should experience before going off to college and living the rest of my life sheltered."
"How is college going to shelterâ" I start to ask, but I'm cut off by Noah shushing me.
"You know what, you're right buddy," he says to Daniel, talking as if he's speaking with a child. "You should experience that. Let's go."
"We're really gonna go to a bar right now?" Elijah asks, sounding as if that's the last thing he wants to do.
His hand slowly retracts from me, and I quickly realize that I don't want it too.
"Me and Danny are going to a bar," Noah corrects. "You two can stay here."
"You're gonna go alone with him? Can you handle that?" Elijah asks, looking at Daniel with concern.
Noah shrugs. "I'm pretty sure Danny just wants to show me off to all the guys, so you two will just kill the mood. Give us an hour or two. He can't hang that long anyway."
I raise a brow. "The fuck are we supposed to do then?"
Noah smirks, glancing between the both of us before wrapping an arm around Daniel and steering him away. "The limos all yours. Drive somewhere."
He shuts the door behind himself, leaving us in silence.
The tense air that was there before their interruption rises the second Elijah and I make eye contact again.
"So..." I say, trying to fill the void. "I'll tell the driver to just... drive around, I guess?"
Elijah doesn't respond, so I move toward the intercom and say, "We have an hour to kill and nowhere to go. Mind driving for a while?"
A static sound comes across, then an okay from the driver follows. The limo begins to move.
Turning back around, I see Elijah's eyes move downward, focusing on my lips, and I tell myself that maybe this isn't the best idea.
I'm ready to say just that, and then hopefully we can talk it through, since talking with Elijahâalong with trusting himâis another easy thing to do.
Something that was never easy with Jalen.
No, don't think about that right now.
But all rational thought leaves my mind when Elijah creeps closer, and brings his face close to mine. His lips never touch mine, so I look to his eyes, catching the sincerity within them.
"I want to kiss you," he tells me, voice barely above a whisper.
I take in a shaky breath. I know what I should say. I know what the right thing to say is. But I choose to be honest with how I feel instead.
"I want you to kiss me," I reply in the same tone.
He wastes no more time, seeing as we've wasted enough, and touches my lips with his, starting us off with a slow kiss.
It's warming, tender, and gentle as we test the waters. And then we both pull away at the same time, eyes finding the others. Nothing's said. There doesn't seem to be anything else left to say.
I reach for him once more, connecting our lips again, and this time, Elijah's not so gentle, and neither am I as our mouths move fervently against each other's.
His hand moves back to the space it previously was, taking advantage of the slit in my dress and slowly moving up until he reaches my thigh. His hand feels smooth, and I bring my own over it, feeling how hot his skin is.
I'm not sure how far this is going to go, but when his hand creeps higher up my thigh and the other touches my lower back to pull me closer, I know I want to take it further than this.
My hands move to his suit jacket, tugging it off, and he allows it, before pulling his lips away from mine.
Elijah's forehead rests against my own as we catch our breaths, and I start to hold mine, wondering if this is the part where we realize we're taking things too far.
"I should probably tell you something," he says, keeping his forehead against mine and eyes closed.
Oh god, what is he going to say...
"But I don't really want to because I'm worried it'll ruin this," he continues, opening his eyes after and sending me an earnest look. "And I really want this."
Heat gathers in my stomach once more at what this means. But even if he thinks what he says will ruin it, I still need to know.
"Just say it," I tell him, almost pleadingly. "I need honesty."
I need honesty this time, because I haven't had it before.
"Okay," he says, taking in a breath. "But it's really not a big deal, I swear."
"Elijah," I say, sending him a small smile despite my nerves gathering. Nerves for what he'll, nerves for how much I actually want to do this.
"I'm... I'm a virgin."
Oh. I stare at him blankly, pulling my forehead slightly from his. "Oh, um, okay. I wasn't expecting that, but okay."
Elijah senses my retreat, so he reaches his arms around my waist and pulls me closer, practically onto his lap. "It's not a big deal."
"I mean... it kind of is," I say in a squeaky voice.
Reality sets in. We're in the back of a limo, driving nowhere with alcohol in our systems, and all of sudden we're all over each otherâafter seeming to have come to the conclusion that just because we revealed our feelings, doesn't mean we'd actually act on them.
But despite our reality and what's right or wrong, I find myself letting him pull me a little closer, until I'm completely in his lap, and his hands hold me tight, and my own find their home on his shoulders.
"I want you, Lyndon," he tells me. "I want this more than anything."
I take in another deep breath, knowing I want this too.
But do I want it more than anything?
Elijah's lips lightly brush my own, before slowly moving down to my jaw and then across my neck in a feathery touch.
I close my eyes, savoring his touch, but then it's gone in the next second and I open my eyes to find his own on mine.
"Just tell me what you want, because I think I've made myself clear enough," he says slowly.
I know what I want. What I should and shouldn't. And despite every other feeling in my heart, I choose to not ignore the ones dedicated to ElijahâI've made that mistake already.
"I want you, Elijah," I tell him in all honesty, truly meaning it.
He smiles, then moves closer to me once more, and I quickly do the same, reconnecting our lips and ignoring everything else.
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A / N:
I want to apologize for taking so long, again. Finals week had me kind of overwhelmed, and I used any down time to get away from my laptop.
In light of recent events (and overall everything that's happened in 2020), I tried keeping this chapter (mostly) light-hearted. Having that combo of Noah, Daniel, and Elijah with Lyndon was the perfect excuse to keep things playful. Of course, I had to throw some things in there. What an ending, right? Geez, I wonder how this will effect the rest of the story.
I'm hoping to have the next chapter written soon since I have a little more free time. But please remember that this chapter is already close to 10k words and has a lot of content.
Hope you enjoyed, and that you're all staying as safe as possible!