The sounds of the world rushed by her ears like a river on a quiet night. The scene of Adair smacking her away when she had entered, not even noticing her as he dashed out was a memory that would be burned forever in Amhuinn's mind. He would've dashed out had Tristan not been coming up to relieve Scottie after the page boy had spent the dawn awake at the door. The two of them caught the young 4-year old just as he was breaching the door, and held the squirming blond boy in the room again.
Hammond's voice served to break the haze that had came over her. "Amhuinn, ye have to tell me, or I risk me clan's safety. Why is the young lad so attached? Ye made it sound like he was tortured in there."
"He..." she paused, casting her gaze anxiously to the ground. Her fingers somehow found their way to worry at the plaid she barely noticed draped around her shoulders. Her blonde locks hung limply around her head, and Hammond could see the nervous way in which her blue eyes darted.
"Lass, dinna fash." He couldn't bear seeing her fuss, and tried to gentle his tone as he let his arms drop from gripping her shoulders. "I just have to see that my clan is safe, and fer a good cause."
Silence came from Amhuinn, as she considered his words. Should she trust him? Inwardly, she gave a dry laugh. Technically, she had no choice, did she? Hammond had already stolen her son back, and obviously from the way Adair behaved, he deserved an explanation, since the young one obviously didn't want to be here.
"Adair is my son. And the laird of the Kincaid clan, is his father. His name is MacCallan." she started. Hammond raised a brow.
"The laird of the Kincaid clan isna a Kincaid?" he queried, quite confused.
"Nae." she explained, taking a deep breathe before continuing. "Fergus Kincaid was a good laird. But he died when I was twenty. He had no heir, fer his only son had perished of the fever when he was much younger, and his wife didna give birth to anymore. Dougal MacCallan was his nephew, his wife's brothers' son. Dougal's parents had left for adventures and never returned, and his care was left to his uncle. But Fergus had been too busy to care as a proper father should fer a son."
"Dougal grew up thinking he is entitled to whatever he wants, for he was raised since the age of ten as the heir apparent to the Kincaid clan. And because Fergus was too busy, he dinna had the time to discipline Dougal, who grew up to be a bitter, self righteous man. The servant's dare not deny him for he was vindictive and commanding, even as a child. No one would go near him." Amhuinn bit her lip. "No one but me."
"Why did ye?" Hammond asked.
"I had been fifteen when I first approached him. He had just been brought in to the Kincaid's, and the castle, just a year or two younger than me. I'd say about thirteen? My mother was the housekeeper of the castle, and Tamhas and I stayed with her within her quarters. He had seemed lonely, and I had wanted to see if he needed help on getting somewhere." she spoke in a tone of reminiscence. Hammond could almost see a small Amhuinn going up to a shadow of a boy, and his heart went out to the young girl. If she had been so innocent and willing to befriend a new boy in her clan back then, what had made her into the cautious, wary woman he now had before him?
"I made it a point to seek him out. Everyday, I looked fer him. I introduced him to the lands, brought him to the creek behind the castle, showed him how I helped me mother milk the goats." she murmured.
"Did he reciprocate? " Hammond asked gently. She nodded.
"In a way." she replied, pulling the plaid tighter around her as if to ward off a chill. "For the next few years, I would seek him oot and he would come with me. Tamhas warned me against doing so, but I dinna listen to him. He exchanged a few words, but I had always put it off as him still reeling from his parents death and being uprooted from home."
"Five later, Fergus Kincaid passed away on a cold winter night. Dougal MacCallan had been twenty-three. He immediately took the helm as the Kincaid's laird, and that was when everything changed." he could almost hear her gentle tone echo of horror as she told him the story, her eyes not once looking at him, as if doing so would incite further bad memories Amhuinn had no wish to remember. "We had always known Dougal to be silent, always looking as if he was assessing something whenever he observed the clan. We had always thought he simply wanted to make plans to better the clan. But before Fergus was even cold in his grave, Dougal ordered for any non-able bodied person to be cleared from his or her home. All elderly men were removed from the services of the Kincaid Castle, and to be replaced with younger ladies."
"He abused and used all form of ladies, as his servant's, his maids, and did whatever he wanted to them. I had consoled many young ladies who he had defiled with his roaming hands, but I never imagined those hands would land on me."
When she spoke those words, a sense of cold washed over Hammond, and his throat suddenly dried up as he froze, anxiously waiting for her to continue. Amhuinn however, did not notice any of that change, and continued speaking.
"Three years later, the Kincaid clansmen were worked to the bone, with insufficient people to tend to the goats and cows, and work our farms. The females were primarily tasked to either work on his meals, or lived to entertain him. He had turned the whole clan into a slave camp whose aim was to serve him." Her knuckles had turned white from how hard she gripped the plaid around her. "I had been replacing Belinda, who had fallen ill and could not carry his tray of breakfast to him. But Dougal MacCallan was his worse state in the morning."
"Before I could even place the tray down, he had grabbed me by the waist and yanked at my stays. My loud screams must have alerted people, for just as he managed to pull my dress down, the door was flung open, and my mother ran in screaming murder. But the strength of an old lady was no match for Dougal's." Amhuinn's voice shook, and Hammond, unable to bear just letting her go on any longer, went against his logic to follow his instinct and pulled Amhuinn into his arms, slowly rocking her as he stroked her head, holding her against his shoulders. He could feel dampness seep into his thin linen shirt, and immediately regretted being the cause of her dredging up all these memories.
"Nae lass, enough. I apologize fer making ye live through all of this again. Dinna continue, Dougal MacCallan is a bastard and I willna allow ye Adair ter return ter his horrific lands. Cease, lass." he tried to soothe, rocking as he spoke, but Amhuinn would not be stopped until her story finished.
"My mother hit the dressing table, and fainted immediately. No one else dared to go against him, and Tamhas was made to work the fields as all the other men in the clan. He dinna know what had happened until he returned that night." While her voice was muffled against his shirt, Hammond could still pick up every word, each shuddering syllable. "Mama had always told me that a husband would make his wife happy, verra verra happy on their wedding night but... but he dinna make me happy at all." Her voice cracked at that last word and Hammond's heart broke along with her dam of tears. As the rest of the Keep stirred to begin the day of work, the blonde head could be seen shaking against the shoulders of the MacKenzie laird, whose face looked completely guilt stricken as he rocked her while stroking her back, one hand holding her head against his shoulder.
After 5 years of pent-up pretense of it not having affected it, it felt like a dam was released as Amhuinn sobbed into Hammond's shoulder. Something about his warm hand splayed and rubbing her back comfortably, the way he gently murmured comforting nonsense to her as she let out pent-up frustrations.
Hearing her sobs, each one tore a new scar into Hammond's heart. For the first time since the death of his father, Hammond felt utterly helpless as he held on to Amhuinn, letting her release whatever she needed to. For what felt like a long time, he simply rubbed her hands on her back, holding her until her sobs finally subsided, and she hiccuped as she pulled back, looking quite apologetic. "I-I'm sorry. I'm just-"
"Nae, dinna apologize, lass. Tis nae fault of yer own." He quickly reminded. If anyone should apologize, it should be that bastard MacCallan, he viciously thought. His eyes took in her blotchy cheeks, and red eyes, and his heart went out to her. "What happened after?"
"He left the room after he was done. I picked Mama up and went back to oor quarters. Tamhas was furious when he found oot, but I dinna want him ter get himself killed. Mama didn't wake up fer three days, nae matter what herbs I gave her. When she did wake up after 3 days, she couldna see, and had difficulty breathing." Amhuinn bit her lip. "For weeks, I couldna let anyone near me. I startled when someone so much as took a step near me. I stayed in oor room on the pretense of taking care of Mama, but in actuality I dinna want to be around people at all."
"A month after that, I started throwing up. The old healer in the Kincaid clan declared me with child." At that, her tone picked up, and Hammond saw a shadow of a smile flit across her face. "I gave birth ter Adair eight months later. Tamhas had wanted ter bring me away earlier, but we couldna leave Mama alone, fer her sight ne'er returned. When I was declared with child, Dougal MacCallan declared that I was ter ne'er leave so long as I had his heir with him."
"He acknowledged the child as his?" Hammond asked in surprise. With how callous Dougal had been so far, he had almost been expecting him to deny any relation with Amhuinn.
She nodded, pulling the plaid around her again. "Dougal had tupped many maidens and servant's, but I was the first to actually be with child. His seed was weak, and he dinna want ter leave his bloodline at him. When he knew I was with child, he held on with claws and placed a guard around me at all times."
"Five months before I gave birth to Adair, Mama passed away from injuries no one could heal from being flung across the room." A flash of pain shimmered in her blue eyes at the memory. "The day Adair was born, Dougal MacCallan came in and almost dropped him, had the midwife not insist on taking my baby back. I was too weak to move, so I remained bedridden fer two months nursing Adair. But the moment I got back on me feet, Adair was taken away from me."
"I dinna want ter leave him, but Tamhas insisted we go, fer he dinna want ter see me suffer. He stole me away at night. The last time I saw my baby was four years ago."
"So the child inside... he is Adair MacCallan?" Hammond questioned.
Amhuinn nodded, following the direction which Hammond pointed with her eyes and a woeful sigh. "He is my son, yes. He has my hair, and my eyes. But because he has been brought up by his birth father, I can see that Adair has taken after his father's behaviour. But... I dinna want him to grow up to be the monster Dougal MacCallan is. Tis why Tamhas has been trying fer years ter get him back, but... but Kincaid Castle is a fortress, and Tamhas being alone, is not verra effective."
"But ye had said ye were exiled from yer clan after doing something they dinna like?" Hammond asked, thinking back to the very first day they had met.
"I was exiled. By myself. I refused to continue staying under the rule of someone like Dougal MacCallan. But we dinna know where else ter go. Tis why we end up staying in the woods." she finished. At then, she finally turned to meet her blue eyes with Hammond, and a small knot eased in his heart when he saw the positive turn in her lips.
"Ye can stay here." He blurted out without thinking.
Amhuinn flushed. "Nae, tis an imposition on yer clan. I dinna want Dougal to bring his wrath upon ye."
"Technically, I've already kidnapped his son. I dinna think ye leaving would be any better. Ye could stay. Tamhas is in no condition ter go anywhere, anyway." Hammond coaxed gently. She appeared thoughtful, and Hammond pressed on. "Ye already agreed yestereve."
She laughed then, a sound that lightened his heart more than anything else he could think of, even more then ensuring his sister Gillian was safe. "True. And I promised Evie I'd be here to see her through her birth. I guess I havena any choice, then."
"Nae, I will always give ye a choice, lass." Hammond corrected earnestly, using his fingers to tilt her chin upwards so her blue eyes met his hazel ones. "I just wish that choice would be ter stay."
For a moment, the two were surprised by just how deep one could fall in the other's depths, Hammond being captured by the cerulean nuances in her orbs, and Amhuinn fascinated at how warm just a look from the redhead laird could make her feel. The moment broke when someone cleared their throat, and the two of them guiltily jumped apart, with Amhuinn casting her eyes downwards. Hammond looked up in irritation at the direction where the cough came from, and scowled when he saw Connor standing there with an amused look on his face.
"What do you want, Gilroy?" he hissed. His best friend laughed, raising a brow before directing his gaze at Amhuinn.
"Amhuinn, yer brither is up, and he's asking fer ye."