text messages
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Miss August James
[sent 02:07 a.m.]
August James
Lil Tay Tay!
August James
Good very early morning!
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
That is not a real sentence...
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
It's 2 am
August James
... Good very late night, then?
August James
but like you came to me first ð
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Can you just say Hi like a normal person? osjdjsjsj
August James
ooooooh, sorry, no can do!
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Well, I tried sigh
August James
what do u want from með©ð©
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
I have a theory
August James
I'm curious to know what it is
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
You don't sound curious at all!
August James
I'm shaking in anticipation!
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
You are overflowing with bullshit!
August James
Hmm... Mayhaps :)
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
You mean perhaps...?
August James
Nope! I mean mayhaps!
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
As in maybe and perhaps?
August James
Correctomundo!
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Your late night self is slowly losing brain cells, isn't she?
August James
One braincell at a time ðâ
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Wig anyway
August James
OH MY GOD DO NOT USE INTERNET LINGO ON ME PLS
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
WHY NOT? YOU DO IT ALL THE TIME
August James
YOURE A MILLENNIAL
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
I AM EVERY BIT AS MUCH OF A MILLENNIAL AS YOU ARE
August James
I-
August James
I am not having this conversation right now
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Uhuuu I mean would you prefer being a gen z kid?
August James
Ew no way
August James
LISTEN
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
I'm listening :)
August James
what was your theory?
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Not a smooth change of subject, but I'll let it slide anyway because it is a great theory!
August James
Okay, enlighten me!
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
You listen to Harry Styles' music, right?
August James
Uh, yeah! I'm not insane. From the dining table is my go to crying song
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Interesting...
August James
What is?
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
You, further validating my theory
August James
Which is???!!!!!
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
You were a raging One Direction fan in like 2011-2013 at least
August James
2014... sure, I have no shame in admitting it. I still occasionally listen to their songs!
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Mhmm and I wouldn't be wrong in assuming that Harry was your favourite, right?
August James
Harry and Zayn, but go on ... I'm interested in seeing where this is going to lead
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
And you *definitely* had a twitter or tumblr account during that time
August James
Okay ð so did you
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Oh, no, no I'm not shaming your fangirl days. Not at all! I'm just saying
August James
What are you saying... ð
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
The only reason you refused to listen to my music was because of Harry Styles
August James
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
August James
How did you even get to that conclusion?
August James
I actually snorted out loud
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
No, no, you can laugh but I promise this is a very sound and valid claim
August James
uhhuuu... okay go on
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Of course you remember what happened around 2012-2013
August James
In what aspect?
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
I "allegedly" dated a Mr. Harry Styles, 1/5 of British Boyband One Direction?
August James
I vaguely remember something of the sort coming up in the news....
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Sure sure, it's not like those pictures at the park no longer surface on the internet anymore
August James
Oh geez, you still get those shoved in your face? that was like 2012
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Instagram is a very funny place
August James
true that!
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
BACK TO MY POINT
August James
....
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
What with Harry being your favourite and everything, and him supposedly dating me, and the whole controversy that ensued on social media....
August James
........
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Do I have to spell it out for you?
August James
No, no I get it
August James
And I gotta say, fair play, but you are wrong!
August James
I thought it was distasteful for fans to send you hate for dating their favourite celebrity
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
How noble of you! But I'm not wrong!
August James
....you are
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
So how come you knew some of my old songs, like you belong with me but not songs from Red which, coincidentally, came out around that period?
August James
....
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Because deep down inside you were a Harry fan at heart and you couldn't betray him!
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
LAWYERED!
August James
Iâ
August James
I don't even know how to respond to this
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Just admit I'm right ð
August James
I'm still trying to process it
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
Take your time, babe
August James
.......
August James
How did you even know that I'd be a 1D fan?
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
It's only natural. Every teenager in 2012 was either a one direction or justin bieber fan or emo and metal and such which coincided perfectly with certain pop artists
August James
.....
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
And you liked Paramore and My Chemical Romance and Panic! At The Disco and Fall Out Boy, right?
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
One direction had a little more edge than let's say, justin bieber or coldplay or like, Ed Sheeran and plus, they were british
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
It just made sense, and it was pretty easy to put two and two together
August James
... I don't believe it
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
HAJAHAJSJSJSJSJSJSKS
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
I'm fucking with you ðI found your YouTube account
August James
YOU WHAT
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
August James Styles, right? :)
August James
OH MY FUCKING GOD
August James
HOW DID YOU FIND THAT
August James
WHAT THE FUCK SMDJSJSJS
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
All it took was typing in your name on YouTube! The first video I watched was a lip sync battle with your sister to what makes you beautiful
August James
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
The second one was you showing off all your harry posters in your room, and uh, making out with one???
August James
NO
August James
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
I liked them all!
August James
FUCKING HELL
August James
I'm ignoring you for the rest of the month
MISS TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT
aww ð
âââ
oopsies