CHAPTER 29
THE SOFT SIDE
Seyren's POV
I tried to be normal.
I tried so hard.
"What is this?"
"A pen."
"How many fingers am I holding?"
"Three."
"What is this?"
"A stethoscope..."
"What's your name?"
Silence enveloped the room, creating a heavy atmosphere. Anthony had just woken up when Azara and I arrived to visit him.
Now, as the doctor questioned him, he struggled to respond, his face a blank slate. It seemed he had lost his memory completely.
Itâs a relief.
"How old are you?" The doctor asked again, trying to elicit any response. Anthony looked at us with confusion, his eyes wide and unfocused. He resembled a lost child, unsure of his surroundings.
"Oh God!" Anthonyâs mother suddenly collapsed, her body crumpling to the floor. Skyler, who had been standing nearby, caught her just in time, preventing a worse fall.
I felt a wave of pity wash over me. Seeing Anthonyâs mother like that was heart-wrenching. So, we decided it was best to leave. We excused ourselves and made our way home. I carried Azalia in my arms, feeling her little breaths against my chest, while holding Azaraâs hand with my other hand.
Azara rarely allowed me to hold her hand, but today, she seemed to need the comfort. She squeezed my hand tightly. I turned to look at her and saw anxiety and fear swirling in her eyes.
I shook my head gently, trying to reassure her. I intertwined our fingers, feeling the warmth of her hand against mine.
"Donât worry, I'll handle this," I told her softly. She avoided my gaze, a sigh escaping her lips, signaling her deep worry.
When we reached the parking lot, I helped her into the car and carefully placed Azalia in the backseat, making sure she was secure. As I closed the car door, I felt a prickling sensation on the back of my neck. I turned and noticed someone watching me from a distance.
Our eyes met, and we exchanged a subtle nod of recognition.
I watched as he discreetly entered the hospitalâs fire exit before I climbed into the driverâs seat. Inside the car, I saw Azara still staring into the distance, lost in her thoughts.
"Azara," I called gently, breaking her reverie.
"Hhmm?" she responded, her voice barely audible.
"Donât worry, weâll live peacefully. I promise you that," I said, my heart aching at the sight of the fear in her eyes.
"Iâm sorry for everything..." I whispered, my voice heavy with regret.
"This isn't your fault... I started it after all"
Nope.
It's all mine...
It's all my fault.
---
3 years later
"Momma, what are you cooking?"
"I'm making dinner for your mommy." I answered my now 3 year old daughter as she leaned her elbow on the counter, chin on the palm of her hands and looking at me with puppy dog eyes.
She's not like any other kid.
Just like me.
She's special.
She doesn't know it yet.
I guess.
Or she's aware.
"Mommy is going home tonight?" She asked, a bit surprised hearing that news.
"I need to take a bath! Bye momma, I'm gonna make myself smell good so mommy won't hate me."
For the past couple of years, Azara continued being an actress, making names in Hollywood instead of being stuck in the Philippines.
She's been in a lot of movies, even in Korean movies and series. She worked so hard, making her name roared and be known all over the world.
Achieving such great trophies like Oscars, Box Queen, It girl, and etc. She worked so hard that most of the time, she wasn't home.
I'm always worried for her. But then again, she's old enough to take care of herself.
Also, I'm not allowed to see her or go on the country she's in. We have a child that needs attention and love and I'm proud to say that I did become a great mother like my mother.
"Momma do I smell good?"
The little girl returned to the kitchen with her nanny, wearing a sleeveless black V dress.
I frowned because I had never bought her such a dress.
"When did you get that dress?" I asked, setting down the dish I had just cooked on the countertop before approaching her. I knelt in front of her and adjusted her dress, making sure it fit properly and wasnât too revealing.
Azalia smiled at me, spun around to show off her dress, and even flipped her hair. She had perfectly captured the mannerisms and aura of her mother.
"Aunt Maddy bought it. Am I pretty, momma?" she asked. I nodded and gave her a genuine smile, admiring how much she looked like a miniature version of Azara.
But that smile quickly faded as I remembered something important.
"Honey, you know the drill, huh? Do not call me momma when your mommy is here. We're not together yet," I reminded her gently. She simply nodded, her expression serious for such a young child.
I was still courting Azara, even her daughter. It seemed Azara wasn't ready for the commitment of a relationship, so I let things be for now.
I was confident she was mine, just as she was confident I was hers.
"Shall we pick up Mommy at the airport?" I asked sweetly, shifting the mood. Azalia's eyes lit up, and she nodded eagerly, reaching up for me to carry her.
I lifted her with one arm, feeling her tiny arms wrap around my neck in a secure hug.
"Please finish what I started. I'm done with the viand; just clean up the mess," I instructed the household staff before heading to the garage with Azalia in my arms.
As I walked out, I glanced down the path leading to our basement. For a few seconds, I stared at it, memories flooding back, before shaking my head and continuing to the garage. I chose Azara's black McLaren 720S to drive to the airport, the sleek and powerful car reflecting her sophisticated taste.
I called her manager to confirm our location in the parking lot, ensuring everything would go smoothly.
We weren't allowed to go out, especially Azalia, because Azara didn't want her daughter exposed to the media. She didn't want any agency to take an interest in the child, especially since she was only about to turn four.
She didn't want to commercialize the child, wanting to protect her innocence for as long as possible.
"Oh, mommy!!" Azalia shouted excitedly when she saw Azara approaching us. Azara looked exhausted, the strain of her trip evident in her posture and the tiredness in her eyes.
As they approached our car, her manager opened the backseat door for her, but Azara declined, walking towards the passenger seat instead.
I noticed the annoyed expression on his face as Azara settled into the front seat beside me.
I stepped out of the car since there were no cameras around.
"I'll handle this. Thank you," I said with a smile to Azara's manager, taking the suitcase from him.
"Fine. You handle your wife's attitude. She's too hard to get," he grumbled, turning away and leaving without saying goodbye to anyone.
With my sharp eyes, I immediately noticed a bruise on his neck. It looked like he had been hit by something or someone. I decided to ignore it for now and placed Azara's suitcase in the back of the car.
When I got back into the driver's seat, I saw Azara talking to her daughter in the passenger seat, a rare soft expression on her face.
"I miss you, mommy. MomâI mean, Aunt Sey and I miss you so much, but she misses you more, right Aunt?" Azalia said with a wide grin, looking between me and her mother.
I glanced at Azara, feeling a familiar flutter in my chest.
She was so beautiful, incredibly so. Even in her exhaustion, she had a grace that took my breath away.
"Yeah... I really miss you," I said sincerely. Azara's face gradually turned red, but I couldn't tell if she was angry or embarrassed.
"I don't. Let's go home. I want to rest so bad," she said sharply, adjusting her seat and fastening her seatbelt, her usual defensiveness creeping back in.
I felt a pang in my chest but chose to ignore it. I started the car and drove us to our mansion, the drive filled with a quiet tension.
When we arrived, the household staff welcomed her back warmly. As usual, she snapped at them, her sharp tongue lashing out even in her fatigue.
"Do you want to eat before you rest, mommy? Aunt Sey cooked a really delicious viand for you," Azalia said, making me facepalm because I had almost forgotten about the food.
Azara looked at me, her eyes scanning me up and down as if judging me.
"Sure, baby. Let's eat together," she said sweetly, then picked up her daughter, her tone shifting from cold to tender in an instant.
"Yaya, serve us the food my wife cooked," she ordered the staff, who immediately complied. Azara headed to the dining room with her daughter, leaving me standing there, stunned.
Did I hear that right?
She called me her wife, right?
Like she claimed me as her wife.
I felt like a fool as I walked into the dining room where they were. The sight of them playing around, seated at the table, brought a mix of emotions to my heart. I hesitated for a moment before taking a seat beside Azara, who was currently tickling her daughter.
"Momma, help me!" Azalia's laughter filled the room, though I could sense a slight strain in her voice, as if she was struggling to keep up with the tickles.
"Momma?" Azara suddenly stopped and looked at me with raised eyebrows. For some reason, my mouth went dry, and I swallowed hard.
Azara was the only person who could make me feel genuine fear and anxiety. Her gaze, void of emotion, coupled with her raised eyebrows and expressionless face, sent chills down my spine.
"She's just kid-"
"I like that. Call her momma from now on, darling." Azara gave a small, sweet smile and then turned back to her daughter sitting on her lap. Azalia's smile widened, and seeing them both so happy really softened my heart.
We ate together, the room filled with laughter and stories from Azalia. She chattered non-stop about everything and anything, her words flowing seamlessly despite her young age. It was amazing how well she spoke for a three-year-old.
After dinner, Azalia decided to go to bed since it was her bedtime. Azara headed straight to her room to take a shower, allowing me to enter only to unpack her things.
While unpacking, I could hear the sound of the shower from her bathroom. I couldn't help but smile because she seemed to be in a good mood today.
She never let Azalia call me momma before, but she changed that now. I guess she's softening towards me again.
As I continued unpacking, I found lingerie, which I quickly put back in the suitcase, my face heating up. It was obviously new, as it still had the price tag attached.
I kept unpacking, taking longer because every time I removed an item of clothing, I found more lingerie. What did she do in another country? Go lingerie shopping?
I facepalmed when I found yet another piece of lingerie. This one was red.
As I finished unpacking, the sound of the shower stopped, and a few seconds later, Azara came out wearing only her Calvin Klein bra and panties. I immediately closed my eyes and turned away. I didn't know why, but I felt embarrassed.
"Why are you turning away and closing your eyes? It's not like you haven't touched and tasted this before." She teased, but her tone was stern. I could hear her heavy footsteps approaching me.
"Just get dressed, please," I said, my skin tingling as I felt her finger trace from my right shoulder to my left. She laughed again, clearly teasing.
"Your shoulders are getting broader. Are you seeing someone?" Her question confused me, but I answered anyway.
"You?" I said uncertainly. We both fell silent, and I could hear my heart beating.
"Open your eyes and turn around. I'm already dressed," she ordered. I followed her instructions. Slowly, I opened my eyes and turned to face her. She was wearing her nightgown, her hair wet and loose, arms crossed, showing her cleavage, and looking at me.
Our eyes met, and it felt like we were having a silent conversation. Her eyes used to be filled with only anger, remorse, and sadness. But now, they were different. It was as if she was hiding emotions she wanted to release at this moment.
Even if she didn't say it, I could tell. Her eyes had softened. It was like she was looking at the most beautiful masterpiece in the world, wanting to keep it instead of putting it in a museum.
"Did you really miss me?" She suddenly asked, making my face even hotter. I've been so soft with her during these past few years. I guess it's a little strange for her since I'm usually quite intense.
It's nearly impossible for me to change. But I'm trying, for her and her daughter. I nodded, and then she suddenly bent her knees, aligning her level with mine. Her eyes stayed locked on mine, refusing to look away. I saw her eyes dilate as her hands rested on my shoulders.
"Say it... Don't just nod, give me words." Her voice was tender and turned into a whisper. Her warm breath brushed against my lips. I licked my lips and tried hard not to explode.
"I miss you so much, Azara," I said. I felt her hands move down to my chest, near my heart, feeling my heartbeat.
She stayed silent for a moment, her fingers tracing gentle patterns over my chest. Then, without warning, she closed the gap between us, her lips brushing softly against mine. The kiss was tentative at first, almost hesitant, as if she was testing the waters. But it quickly deepened, her hands sliding up to cradle my face, pulling me closer.
I responded in kind, my arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her against me. The kiss was electric, sending shivers down my spine and igniting a fire in my heart. It felt like everything we had been through, all the pain and heartache, was being poured into that single moment.
When we finally pulled apart, we were both breathing heavily, our foreheads resting against each other. Azara's eyes were soft and filled with a mix of emotions that I couldn't quite decipher.
"I've missed you too," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "More than you can imagine."
Her confession hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt my heart swell with emotion. I cupped her face in my hands, my thumbs brushing away the tears that had started to fall.
"I missed every bits of you." She added, burying her face on the crook of my neck, sitting on my lap on the process.
"And your aggressive side... I miss it so much."
"But I'm changing for the better... For your child... For you... I treat you worse, and I'm sorry." I said softly, hugging her in my arms.
I've never been so gentle like this before.
"Worse she says... I made you my sex slave, I treat you worse so I deserve it."
"I like being your sex slave."
"I dated Liam to make you jealous and used him"
"I don't care"
"I fucked him which get me pregnant."
"There's nothing that could make me change my statement, Azara. I'm the worst person you've met yet I'm doing my best to change. I don't know why but I'm being genuine now."
"Fuck it. I think it's because of me." She pushed me away a bit, creating a little gap between us
"Yeah it is..." I chuckled, smiling a bit.
"No, I mean, literally. I think it's because of me."
"What do you mean?"
---
"Good morning everyone I'm Anthony Guerrero and I'll be your new police officer in this field."
I was staring blankly at my computer, lost in deep thought, when suddenly a man entered the room and introduced himself.
We all turned to look at him, and thatâs when I recognized who he was.
"Oh, Detective Guerrero is back?!" exclaimed one of the police officers with me, clearly surprised.
At that exact moment, Detective Skyler emerged from the bathroom. Sheâs been back in the game for quite some time now.
She seemed just as surprised to see Anthony. Since he woke up in the hospital with no memory, he had been on leave and reassigned elsewhere for several years.
So, it was quite a shock to see him here again. He looked different, but his stance was just like it used to be.
"Good day to all of you!" Anthony greeted us, saluting. The entire team immediately ran to him and hugged him tightly.
I didnât join in because I would get squeezed in the crowd.
"Don't squeeze the poor man, jeez," I laughed, chiding them. It took a few minutes before they let go of each other.
The joy in their eyes was unmistakable. They even playfully tousled Anthonyâs hair.
When they finally let go of Anthony, I saw him clearly. He was in a police uniform instead of casual attire with a badge, which was really confusing to me.
"Are you assigned here as a police officer?" I asked, and he nodded with a smile.
"That's good, being a police officer first might be better. You might not handle being a detective yet. By the way, are you okay now? Howâs your head? Do you recognize us?" Skyler bombarded Anthony with questions.
I laughed because she seemed like an excited child.
"I remember a little, but it's coming back," Anthony replied respectfully. I stood beside Skyler, and we exchanged glances.
"That's good. We're the three musketeers again," I joked, making Anthony laugh but causing Skyler to frown.
"Musketeers, ampota? Seryoso ka dyan?" she said, raising her voice, so I widened my eyes at her.
"Oh? You're raising your voice at your senior?" I teased her, biting my lower lip playfully, then placing my hands on my hips, which she mimicked.
"Yeah, I was only gone for a year and a half. I'm still your senior," she said, playfully trying to intimidate me by raising her chin.
I raised my chin back at her.
"But I have more experience in that year and a half. I'm the new Ace Detective," I joked, and she narrowed her eyes at me.
"This is funny, the president said you two are great and professional. I was a bit nervous. I'm glad you're not grumpy," Anthony said, sounding relieved.
When we looked at him, he smiled broadly and sweetly, looking a bit shy at the same time.
"I'm not grumpy, but she is. By the way, which team are you assigned to?" I asked jokingly.
"I'm with Team A for now, and Detective A will decide where to assign me next," he replied respectfully.
"Then you're in my team. Perfect timing, we have new cops in my team. Come, I'll introduce you," I said, walking away with him. I teasingly stuck my tongue out at Skyler, and she just laughed.
I introduced Anthony to my team, and after that, I let them chat for a while. In my office, I checked my email and cursed under my breath when I saw the email about Anthony being assigned to my team.
It had been sent earlier, but because I was staring blankly, I hadnât noticed it.
While I was engrossed in reading my email, I noticed Anthony standing outside my office through the see-through wall.
I felt an odd sensation that something about him had changed. There was something unsettling yet oddly familiar about him at the same time.
I chose to ignore it, convincing myself that it was probably just my imagination playing tricks on me.
As soon as I stepped out, I could hear snippets of their conversation.
"Ah yes, I met my wife because sheâs the mayor, and the president introduced her to me," Anthony said. My brow furrowed at this revelation.
"You have a wife?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. Everyone in the room, including Anthony, turned their attention to me. He smiled warmly and nodded.
"Yes, sheâs the mayor of Laguna. Her name is Mira Abellera. Weâre not married yet, but we plan to get married once she gives birth," he explained. I simply nodded and smiled, accepting the news.
"That's wonderful to hear. Iâll be the godmother," I volunteered, smiling.
"Me too," Skyler added, joining in.
The room quickly filled with more volunteers, and it became clear that Anthony needed to compile a list of names.
Mira Abellera... That name seemed vaguely familiar.
"That baby will be showered with gifts once itâs born. Lucky you, Anthony," teased one of the police officers.
I engaged in the playful banter for a while.
The office was filled with laughter and excitement; it was evident how much everyone had missed Anthony. Someone even went out of their way to buy a cake.
"Baka naman magpainom ka dyan, Anthony " one officer joked.
"Oo nga, Welcome back part ba" another officer added with a grin.
"Wag nyo i-pressure iyong bata. Sagot ko na ang inumin mamaya basta kasama si Anthony of course"Â Skyler suddenly announced, making me frown, though I chose not to comment further.
"Here comes the cake, and we also have a special guest!" shouted the officer who had been sent to buy the cake.
As he entered the office, I immediately noticed him carrying the cake, and to my surprise, the most beautiful woman in the world was standing right behind him.
Our eyes locked, and it felt like everything around us slowed down. The bustling office seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of us in a bubble of silence.
As she walked in slowly, my heart began to race. She focused her gaze solely on me, her hips swaying gracefully with each step. For reasons I couldnât quite understand, her smile and the slight wave she gave me made everyone else in the room disappear, leaving only us.
"What are you doing here?" I asked as she approached and stood directly in front of me, her posture poised and elegant.
"Why? Is it forbidden for a wife to visit her wife? Elowen does it all the time," she replied sharply, striking a playful pose and tilting her head slightly as I straightened up from leaning on the desk.
Her gaze seemed to melt away any tension I felt. I could only manage a smile in response.
"By the way, Iâm here to tell you to come home early tonight. We have plans," she said, her tone gentle but firm.
"Where are we going?" I inquired.
"Itâs a secret, baby." She leaned in closer and whispered, giving me a flirtatious wink.
"And hereâs your lunch. You forgot it earlier, so I brought it for you," she said, lifting her hand to reveal the lunch box she was holding.
My heart seemed to melt all over again from what she had just shown me. It brought back memories of when Elowen would do something similar with Skyler.
I never thought Iâd experience this kind of tenderness myself. Itâs so pure, innocent, and soft. Itâs not usually my type of thing, but my heart seems to have its own agenda... As always.
"Where's my baby, hmm?" I asked, referring to Azalia.
She gave a playful smirk, but I could tell it was just in jest.
"Sheâs with Maddy. Theyâre out shopping together, just enjoying some aunt-and-niece time. Now, letâs not change the subject... And donât change your outfit either. I love seeing you in your suit." She gave me a slow, appreciative look from head to toe, biting her lower lip in a way that was meant to be provocative.
I nodded in response, acting as though I was completely innocent. I didnât want to look foolish in front of my team, who were fortunately busy with Anthony and not paying much attention to us.
"I see youâre being so soft right now," she teased.
"So? Iâll just follow your lead. Acting all soft but fucking hard in bed... And messing up my life in a way thatâs oddly enjoyable... See you later, lovely." Her fingers traced a provocative path up my leg, lingering around my crotch and abdomen, sending shivers up my spine.
She then twirled her fingers around my necktie before letting it go. With a flourish of grace and an air of playfulness, she turned on her heel and walked away.
"Welcome back to this field, Detective Guerrero. Good luck with your work, guys," she said flirtatiously to my colleagues, giving them a wave and a wink.
I felt a surge of irritation and unconsciously licked the inside of my cheeks, trying to contain my frustration.
I saw Anthonyâs look of surprise as he watched Azara. His eyes followed her every movement, seemingly judging or trying to understand her behavior.
Before he could get too absorbed in watching her, I stood up and positioned myself directly in his line of sight, blocking his view.
When he finally looked up at me, I forced a smile that I hoped didnât reveal my annoyance.
"Welcome back, Anthony. I hope we get along like before."
The sarcasm in my voice was evident, but she seemed too naive to notice it. Her innocent smile lit up her face as she offered me a slice of cake, which I accepted with a polite nod.
As we gathered around the table, the conversation flowed naturally, touching on various topics. One of the most surprising revelations was Anthony's sudden marriage. We hadn't spoken to him in years, so hearing about such a significant change in his life was quite a shock. He seemed different now, more settled and yet carrying a mysterious air about him.
The discussion soon drifted to memories Anthony wasn't sure would ever fully return. I listened quietly, my laughter mingling with theirs, though my thoughts were elsewhere. I couldn't help but observe their movements, their words, and the expressions that played across their faces.
"I really don't remember anything except for the severed fingers we used to find on the victims. The doctor said I might have been traumatized by that, which is why it was the first thing I recalled when I couldn't even remember my own name," Anthony confessed, his voice tinged with embarrassment.
"I'd be traumatized too if I saw severed fingers," laughed a young police officer, trying to lighten the mood.
Skyler, always the one to offer a reassuring word, chimed in. "If you only knew what Seyren went through. At first, she would vomit whenever she saw a corpse, right?" She looked at me, and I nodded in agreement, my mind wandering back to those early days of my career.
"Really, ma'am?" The new police officers were wide-eyed with surprise. I nodded again, my focus shifting to the computer where I was secretly chatting with Elowen.
From Elowen:
Mira Abellera, she's 48 years old, means he's 21 years younger.
I glanced at Anthony, who was engrossed in conversation with our colleagues, his laughter ringing out. I couldn't believe he would enter a relationship with someone significantly older than him. He seemed happy, but there was an unsettling feeling I couldn't ignore. Something about his demeanor didn't sit right with me.
I always relied on my brain, trusting my instincts and logic to guide me. But now, as I struggled with these conflicting emotions, I found myself at a loss. It was an unfamiliar and uncomfortable sensation, one I didn't quite know how to handle.
Pushing my doubts aside, I rejoined the conversation, sharing in their stories and laughter. For a moment, I allowed myself to relax and enjoy their company. The room was filled with warmth and camaraderie, and despite my lingering unease, I couldn't deny that I was having a good time.
I'm soft already. It's a strange feeling, one that makes me question everything I thought I knew about myself.
I didn't anticipate reaching a level of comfort with others that I now find myself in. It's as if the boundaries I once believed defined my world have blurred, turning the environment I navigate into a mere playground for amusement.
However, there's a disconcerting realization that I, too, have become a pawn in the game I thought I controlled. Emotions I never wanted to confront now swirl within me, and the reasons behind them are clear.
The notion that such a transformation could occur is both astonishing and perplexing. While I struggle to comprehend how this shift transpired, it now resonates with a sense of inevitability.
I grapple with an unexplained sense of guilt, a feeling I detest. The conflicting emotions it stirs within me create a tumultuous inner conflict, where the discomfort is intertwined with a strange sense of satisfaction.
In hindsight, if I were presented with a choice during that tumultuous period...
What path would I have chosen?
Knowing the vulnerability and softness that now define me...
What decisions would I have made?
Will I prioritize my own needs over others, displaying a sense of selfishness, or will I demonstrate generosity by considering the well-being of those around me?
When faced with the decision to prioritize the desires and welfare of others or focus on my own self-interest, which path will I ultimately choose?
Reflecting on my past self and the values that once guided my decisions, what course of action would align with the person I used to be?
Would I choose to be soft...
Or to be the Devil I once am?
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