He suddenly grabbed my hand and drew me into his embrace. He held my waist and looked down at me.
He looked at me so seriously. His eyes were so dark they sparkled, and I saw my pathetic expression reflected in them. He smiled faintly and asked in a reserved tone, âXiachun, tell me how you can always smile like nothing matters. Teach me how to do that.â
I was at a loss for words.
Su Qiâs tone gradually became tense. âBecause just looking at you makes my heart ache so much that I canât breathe.â
I tried to push him away, but he tightened his embrace.
I felt a little angry, but I just couldnât bear to lash out. Rather than anger, perhaps it was more of a sense of embarrassment.
Su Qi fixed his eyes on me. âDo you know that your name is like a thorn in my heart? Every time I breathe, it hurts! I, Su Qi, have never been in such a sorry state before. I have no lack of suitors. I canât figure out how I am so defeated when it comes to you.â
I laughed. âPoor judgment. Get it treated early.â
Su Qi asked me back, âWhat if I donât wish to be treated?â
I was silent for a long time before I said helplessly, âSu Qi, youâre 27, right? You should be married, right?â
â¦
âIâm not married. Iâve been waiting for you.â
I pushed him off in a panic while trying to steady my center of gravity. With my back to him, I took a ragged step and slid forward. âThereâs just no possibility between us now.â
He caught up easily again, not letting me off. âI donât mind.â
I finally couldnât take it anymore and turned around. âDo you want to be with me, even if I donât love you?â
Su Qi said, âIâll work to win your heart somehow.â
I said, âSu Qi, donât be like that. Okay? Iâm already 23. Youâre 27. Weâre not kids anymore. So donât say such willful things.â
He stopped in front of me again and pointed at his chest, saying, âYou have someone in your heart. Similarly, I have you in mine.â
ââ¦â
âWhen you finally let go of Dongyu, thatâs when Iâll let you go.â
ââ¦â
Su Qi continued, âYou keep asking me to give up on you, but youâre insisting that I do something that youâre unable to do yourself.â
I suddenly stopped moving.
He embraced me from behind and in a faint voice said, âThere are many things in this world that cannot be reasoned with. I love you just like you love Dongyu. Itâs not something that anyone can interfere with.â
âItâs been eight years. Everything has changed.â
I feigned a casual smile. âComing back here is like coming to a foreign country. Many changes can take place in eight years, Su Qi. There are a good many eight years ahead of you. They donât necessarily have to involve me. Youâve done well in the last eight years without me too.â
âDone well?â
Su Qi turned me around by my shoulders and tightened his grip. âDid I do well, really? Xiachun, do you know that I had gone to America to look for you and like a madman tried to track you down? I asked your parents about you, but they wouldnât breathe a word! Iâve waited so many years for you to come back, yet you say Iâve done well in the past eight years without you? What makes you so confident things were that way? Life had been hell for me!ân/o/vel/b//in dot c//om
âPeople are always unwilling to accept things not going their way.â I stated flatly, âPerhaps everyone thinks that the most-cherished things in life are things that we cannot have. But Su Qi, Iâm really not someone you should cherish.â